hello

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

just bought the flaming raging poisoning sword of doom at Claire’s

The thing is nobody at pride is evaluating you to determine if you’re queer enough to be there because they’re too busy thinking “it’s so hot out” and “why is this lemonade 12 dollars?”

if i was in an alien movie i'd be luring the xenomorph into a hot wok and adding chili, garlic, ginger, shaoxin wine, scallions, white pepper and sesame oil

This is SUCH a cool one-to-one

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

nosferatu? no. tuferatu. no es mi problema.

no mi circo no mis feratus