Have I said how much I LOVE Sirius?

the spirit of a 12th century templar knight that died a horrific death due to torture that started haunting me after i found a sword in the middle of the woods: spaghetti once more, prithee?

Tumblr image quality is so ass pls click it to see properly

Remus calls it 'shagging'

James calls it 'doing it'

some of my favourite conversations include

"what's your opinion on quillkiller?"

"what is that? barty and who else?"

"no it's bellatrix and reeta skeeter"

"WHAT THE FUCK"

"calm down-"

"you know back in my day we just used to combine the names of the characters to make ship names. WHAT THE FUCK IS QUILLKILLER"

"guess what bitchkiller is"

"okay this is easy. bitch as in dog, so sirius and bellatrix? ew they're related."

"it's sirius and barty"

"DONT EVEN CHAT TO ME RIGHT NOW"

"wait till you hear about kittywater"

"WHAT THE FUCK"

cut to me spending 30 minutes reading out rarepairs to her while she tries to guess who they are and crash the fuck out

the most recent one

"barty has an evil twin now"

"what? who?"

"hornkus binglefuck"

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME"

"he's commonly headcannoned to be pandoras failed science experiment"

"DONT EVEN FUCKING TALK TO ME RIGHT NOW"

"it started off as a pinterest joke"

"I HATE YOU"

"they ship him with grant chapman"

Imagine Evan walking into their dorm seeing Barty on the floor surrounded by books and research papers he found in the library and a body laying in front of him that looks oddly like Barty but not identical.

His jaw drops to the floor and when the first wave of shock is over he exclaims "What in the hornkus binglefuck is that?!?!?!!"