What are you doing to me.
Jasper Hale x Black Male reader
Vampirism, Vampire reader, mlm, interracial, religious themes, mention of homophobic family and mother, Jasper country as hell, Jaspers bi/gay awakening, blood, mention of murder, dead deer, pay gorn, readers powers are fluid manipulation, expect that. there is some masochist tendencies from Jasper, top reader, bottom Jasper, shy dom reader, power sub Jasper, lots of guilt, lots of sexual tension. Typical twilight anatomy hard skin, venom saliva, etc etc.
Your pulse was slipping awayβ¦fluttering like a trapped birdβand your breaths were no longer breaths but wet, ragged sounds, each one a countdown to silence. He hovered over you, torn between salvation and damnation, every part of him screaming to drink even as his heart broke at the thought.
βForgive me,β he rasped, voice jagged with panic. βGod, please forgive me.β But he had already had your limp wrist in his hand.
His teeth tore through your wrist with terrifying precision, but this wasnβt hunting. This was begging. His lips filled with warmth, hot copper flooding his mouth, and for one burning second, instinct nearly won. This wasnt how he imagined to taste you, but deep down he was glad to do it in aβ¦somewhat herotic way. Oneβ¦twoβ¦three gulps was when he realized he had been doing too much, your breathing slowing with your heart. He could barely stop himself, but he forced his jaw loose, wrenched away before he took more than planned. All he needed to do was bite and that was itβ¦. Venom dripped from his saliva into the wound as he clamped his lips shut and threw his head back, growling deep in his chest like a wounded animal. It tookβ¦everything inside of himβ¦
Your body arched in his arms as the venom took hold. It burned like wildfire, streaking through your veins, racing to your heart. You tried to scream, but all that escaped was a wet, gargled cry.
Your chest felt like it was caving in; your lungs collapsed against the fire climbing through your ribcage, your bones knitting and breaking all at once. Every nerve caught fire. Your skin crawled as if molten glass replaced your blood. And worst of all was the helplessness, the awareness of Jasperβs panicked face hovering above you, smeared with your blood, the sound of him whispering βstay with me, please, stay with meβ like prayer beads slipping through his fingers.
But darkness crept in fast, merciful and cold. As your body burned, your mind dimmed. Your last sight before blacking out was Jasperβs face twisted in horror, his hands shaking as he pressed them to your chest, trying to hold the life inside you.
Then headlights cut through the mist.
Carlisle and Edward found you on the roadside within minutes, the metallic scent already drawing them. Jasper knelt there, shaking, crimson-handed, whispering hoarsely, βI couldnβt let him die. I couldnβt.β
Carlisle crouched beside you, gaze already assessing the wreckage of your body. The broken ribs, the punctured lung, the slow but steady beat of a heart that would stop any minute. Venom was working, but without guidance, it would be chaos.
βTurn him to the side so he wonβt choke on bloodβ¦heβll survive,β Carlisle said calmly, though his voice had that edge Jasper knew well: urgency masked by practiced control. βBut weβll need to make it look like he didnβt.β
Edward glanced between them, his jaw tight, but said nothing. You didnβt notice himβdidnβt notice anything. You were floating in fire, every flicker of your heartbeat cracking through your skull.
Carlisle carried you in silence, cradled like something sacred and breakable, while Jasper followed, wordless, a shadow in the storm. At the Cullen house, they laid you on a pristine white sheet in Carlisleβs study.
The transformation had only begun. Your body writhed even in unconsciousness, muscles locking and jerking as the fire ate its way through every vein. Your heartbeat pounded loud enough that Edward flinched. Jasperβs hands never left you, pressing against your chest, your wrist, anywhere he could feel that faint drum of life.
Carlisle worked quickly. A calculated dose of morphine dulled the outward agony, quieting the screaming, the thrashing, but it couldnβt stop the burn. It only masked it. Your body still shook occasionally, a faint tremor under Jasperβs palm, like a violin string vibrating under invisible fingers.
To the outside world, you were dead. When you didnβt return home that night your mother had dared to sleep a wink. She was on the verge of tears by how angry she was, wanting to curse you out and absolutely scared and worried about her sweet angelβ¦when the sun came up and she was smoking her Newport on the balcony, your mother was called.
She absolutely didnβt believe it, thought it was something cruel joke someone was planning about her baby. But then they told her to go to the morgue to identify you.
The drive to the morgue was a blur of prayer and panic. By the time she stood under the cold fluorescent lights, hands shaking, heart hammering like it wanted to break her ribs, Carlisle was already waitingβwhite coat spotless, voice gentle as falling snow.
βMiss Jacksonβ¦β Carlisle whispered. βIβm so sorry.β
They pulled the sheet back only enough to show your face. Pale. Ashy. Lips split and bruised, cheek scraped raw. Your ear was torn where youβd hit the ground too hard. She didnβt want to imagine what was under the blanket. Her legs buckled. She pressed both hands over her mouth to keep the scream inside, the sound tearing her throat anyway.
βThatβs my baby,β she sobbed, voice cracking. βThatβsβ¦thatβs my baby boy.β
Carlisle steadied her with a doctorβs practiced touch, his golden eyes soft with something she couldnβt read. βI promise you,β he murmured, βhe didnβt suffer long.β
A lie, beautiful and terrible. Because you were still suffering.
While your mother signed papers and left the building hollow-eyed, your body wasnβt left alone. Carlisle made arrangementsβquick, quiet. A closed casket was prepared. Word spread fast in Forks: the new kid, gone in a tragic hit-and-run. The church ladies shook their heads, your basketball team left flowers at a locker youβd never open again.
But by then, you were already far from Forks.
But you were still burning. Still changing.
While Jasper kept vigil in Alaska, far from Forksβ prying eyes, he watched your features sharpen, your skin pale into marble, your heartbeat slow to a crawl and then vanish entirely. For three long days, he sat with blood drying under his nails, venom burning his own throat, watching you dieβand knowing youβd rise again, not as the boy he had met, but as something else.
When the fire finally stopped, the silence was unbearable. Jasper thought, for a single horrified moment, that heβd failed. That your heart had stopped too soon. But no that couldnβt be the case, you were healed, the back of your head fused back together, the raw on your face smoothing back out, eye brow growing back fully, ear back to normal. You lookedβ¦good better than good. You lookedβ¦.immortal.
The fire that had burned through your veins for three endless days had finally-finally broke. Silence fell inside youβ¦a silence so complete it was terrifying. Your chest didnβt rise. Your heart didnβt beat. You didnβt even gasp for airβ¦you just rose. You werenβt dead. Youβd never felt more alive.
The first thing you saw was Jasper.
He sat motionless beside the bed in a dim, unfamiliar room,his jaw clenched, eyes still dark from the hunger heβd been fighting since the night he changed you. His hands were folded so tightly in his lap that his knuckles cracked.
You tried to breathe out of instinct, but that was a bad bad idea. Panic rose sharp in your throat as fire filled your esophagus, filled your gums with a sharp pain and your mouth filling with something that didnβt taste quite like you were dead for three days.. Everything felt too sharp, too bright. You could hear the creak of the floorboards two rooms away, smell pine sap through the walls, feel Jasperβs eyes on you like a weight.
Your eyes snapped towards his, you could hear his gulp as his black eyes met your maroon ones, and as soon as you saw him⦠saw the real him- saw what he looked like in these new eyes, you snarled. Dangerous, you thought to yourself, nails digging into the mattress as you tensed up to defend yourself. Now that you could see⦠Jaspers scars were his most dominant feature. It was hard to take your eyes off his jaw and neck, teeth marks from something litering his skin with purpose.
He immediately caught your hostility, a wave of fear and danger smacking him in the face and it didnβt take even a half of second for him to push his powers towards you. βY/nβ¦ calm downβ¦β he whispered. You were stronger than him, way stronger, hungrier, scared and mean as hell. But he wouldnβt allow you to be a threat. This was what he was afraid of, that natural reaction youβd have of him after seeing him in a real light, of seeing him with all his scars and imperfections his vampirism only hid from his natures prey.
He could see you calming down, could feel you calming down. But most importantly he could feel your hunger, it made him hungry. he swallowed thickly as he slowly stood to his feet, carefully.
βEasy,β he murmured, voice so soft you barely recognized it. βItβs over. You made it through.β
But his expression betrayed him. There was guilt there, heavy enough to crush stone. His fingers twitched as if he wanted to touch you, then thought better of it.
βWhatβ¦?β Your voice was strangeβclearer, sharper, vibrating in the air like glass. You hadnβt even realized you spoke, you couldnβt even recognize your voice. You could barely even rememberβ¦whatβ¦what was even going onβ¦ one moment you wereβ¦homeβ¦ and thenβ¦youβre hereβ¦
βYouβre confused, I understandβ¦you uhβ¦ hit your headβ¦brain injuries take a little longer to healβ¦ you might not get your memories back, Alice never did...β his stutter was unnatural to him, a human tick.
You tried to stand up. The room blurred, not from dizziness but from speed. Your muscles obeyed before you even thought to move them. And that soundβhis heartbeat, slow but steady, thundering in your ears like war drumsβ¦no, not his heartbeat. Someone elseβsβ¦something elseβsβ¦ two different rhythms and paces. One fast and another slow.
Jasper was already moving, hand outstretched, steadying you by the shoulder before you even realized youβd launched toward the door. βEasy,β he repeated, firmer this time. βYou donβt want to do that.β
Except every cell in your body screamed that you did.
His grip tightened, and for the first time you noticed how cold his hand was, how inhumanly strong. You met his gaze, black with hunger and trainedβand there was something in it you couldnβt name. Fear. Regret. And something else that made your new senses sharpen even further.
βIβm sorry,β he whispered.
For what?β¦saving you? Changing you? Wanting you? You didnβt want to know what now, all you wanted was to eat, to run. You barely even recognized him, and you clearly werenβt in the headspace to try too.
You looked down at the hand on your shoulder, cold and firm, his grip steady as iron. Your new vision sharpened,every crease in his pale skin, every glint of light off the faint scar tissue etched along his fingers. Those red eyes of yours glared up at him, unfocused but burning, your body restless with the hunger that had replaced your heartbeat.
βFuck out of my wayβ¦β you growled. The sound was raw, animalistic, deep enough to rattle the glass doors. You couldnβt even remember if your voice had ever sounded human before.
Jasper didnβt flinch. But he didnβt loosen his hold, either.
You slapped his hand away, more violently than you intended. It should have shattered his wrist. You didnβt know how strong you were yet. His arm jerked to the side, but he caught himself instantly, that soldierβs reflex never breaking.
And you were gone, pasting him in a blur, moving faster than wind, straight toward the open balcony door where the cold air hit your face like needles. Below, in the dark Alaskan snow, there was a sound no one else could have heard: the slick, wet rhythm of blood surging through a living body. Arteries pumping, veins singing. Your throat felt like it had been lit on fire. Two different hearts, left or right, you didnβt care.
Downstairs, Tanya moved first, a streak of gold hair and fury, but Eleazarβs hand shot out across her chest, holding her back. βNo,β he whispered, voice calm as snowfall. βWe let Jasper deal with this.β
βHeβs not ready, he might as well be a newborn himself-β Tanya hissed, but Eleazarβs gaze didnβt waver.
βHe will be. If not, we intervene.β His voice was quiet, but firm enough to freeze even Tanya in place.
Outside, your feet barely touched the balcony railing before you vaulted cleanly into the night, landing on the icy ground like it was nothing. The scent was stronger now, curling through your nose like smoke. Something that smelt like nature, woody and earthy. Another that smelt Sweeter, fulfilling and delicious. You could see the hearts: beating somewhere beyond the trees, could feel it vibrating against the wood, the hardness of your skin, could feel it pulsing around you.
Jasper was already behind you. His steps were soundless, but you felt him thereβclosing in fast, a shadow faster than your own.
βY/n!β His voice cracked sharp through the trees. Not a shout, not a pleaβan order. The kind a commander gives to a soldier about to run off a cliff.
The hunger screamed louder than his words. Your muscles coiled to spring.
Then Jasper slammed into you from the side, the two of you skidding across the snow, ice exploding under your bodies. Like two clothed boulders smacking into each other.He pinned you to the ground, face inches from yours, black eyes burning with barely checked terror.
βLook at me!β he barked.
You snarled, teeth snapping, and Jasper saw the change in your faceβthe razor glint of newborn venom dripping from your lips, your pupils wide, almost feral. He knew that hunger; heβd lived it, bled with it, killed for it. And yet there was something else in your expression that scared him worse than thirst, pain. You didnβt understand what you were, what you wanted, or why every drop of blood within a mile sang your name.
βGetβoff meββ You shoved upward and nearly unseated him from your lap. Maybe in another situation, a better one, this position wouldβve made you realize that there was something between the two of you.
βDonβt make me hurt you,β Jasper growled, though his voice cracked halfway through. Not because he couldnβtβbut because heβd rather die than do it. βStay with me, you hear? You donβt want that blood. You want me to stop you.β
Behind his controlled expression, Jasperβs own instincts screamedβkill, control, dominate. It took everything he had not to sink his teeth into your throat to end the threat. But he wouldnβt do that. Couldnβt. Heβd already damned you once. He had to remind himself that he wasnβt him anymore, he wasnβt with Maria.
He pressed a forearm against your chest, not enough to crush. Everytime you launched up he slammed you back into the snow, his lips at your ear:
βIβm not letting you do this. If I have to hold you here βtil sunrise, I will.β
You heard that. And Oh you didnβt like that one bit.
This wresting lasted about two long minutes, trees being sacrificed, growls that sounded so animalistic the wilderness knew to stay far.
The snow exploded beneath you both as Jasper drove his shoulder into your chest again, snarling through gritted teeth, βY/nβstopβ!β His voice crackedβnot from fear, but from the effort of holding you down.
You didnβt hear a damn word. You wanted the blood. That pulsing, rushing sound in the forest was louder than his drawl, louder than the thoughts slamming through your own head. You twisted your hips and threw him sideways with one violent kick, feeling his marble body skid across the ground. God, heβs heavy, but not heavy enough to stop me. Jasper was trying. But goddamnit if you werenβt every bit athletic.
Jasper lunged again, faster this time, pinning you with his full weight, his breath brushing your ear, his jaw clenched tight. βIβm not usinβ my gift on you again, not unless you let meβso quit fightinβ me!β
You growled, snapping at him, lips curling back over perfectly sharp newborn teeth. He didnβt flinch. But damn if he didnβt feel something strange coiling in his chest every time your face got closeβevery time you threw him off and he had to slam back into you, his hands gripping your wrists, his thighs braced to keep you from tearing loose. God help meβ¦ he thought bitterly, his voice a whisper even to himself. Iβm wrestling a man I canβt kill, canβt hurt, andβhell, why does he smell like this?
The Denali coven stood thirty yards back, silent statues in the snow. Tanyaβs golden hair caught the moonlight like flame. βHeβs losing him,β she muttered. But Eleazar held his arm out again, unreadable. βWait. Watch.β
You surged upward, forcing Jasper back an inch at a time, your strength shocking even yourself. His muscles strained, his teeth clenched so hard the sound cracked through the night. He could feel you vibrating with raw power. βStop fightinβ me!β Jasper barked again, but this time, there was a thread of panic.
You didnβt stop. You got one hand free.
Your nails raked across his cheek,not enough to break him, but enough to make him jerk backβand then you slammed your palm flat against his face, fingers digging into his jawline nails clawing him before his marbled skin healed. Something strange pulsed inside you. Not thirst. Not rage. A quick feeling of panic.
Jasperβs body locked. His golden eyes rolled back white. For a horrifying second, you felt the venom in his veins slow, like youβd snatched the current of a river and squeezed it tight. His grip slackened completely. Then he collapsed on top of you, deadweight, lips parting soundlessly as if his breath had been stolen.
But thatβs all you needed. You shoved him off, leapt to your feet, and sprinted toward the trees. The heartbeat was close nowβ¦so close you could taste it.
Behind you, the Denali coven moved to intercept, but they didnβt make it two steps before it hit them. A wave of numbness washed out of you like a shockwave, thick and invisible. Kateβs knees buckled first, then Tanya dropped to one hand in the snow, gritting her teeth. βWhatβ¦ is thisβ¦?β she gasped. Eleazarβs eyes widened in sudden recognition, even as he fell to one knee. βHis giftβ¦ itβs affecting us tooββ
You didnβt hear them hit the ground. You were too far gone.
The forest broke open into a clearingβand there it stood. A massive bull, grey hide glistening with frost, horns sharp as spears. It snorted steam into the night air, hooves grinding the ice, alone and unaware of what was coming.
Your lips curled into something between a smile and a snarl. It wasnβt human. It didnβt matter. The heart sounded just as sweet.
With one burst of newborn speed, you hit it like a wrecking ball, teeth sinking into the thick neck as the animal bellowed, hooves kicking, horns slashing at the air. The taste flooded your throat,hot, wild, brutalβand you drank deep, every nerve in your body screaming in ecstasy.
Jasperβs world came back in pieces. First the cold sting of snow against his cheek, then the acrid tang of venom on his tongue, and finally the ragged sound of you feeding. His vision cleared and, for a split second, he didnβt believe what he was seeing.
You were on the bull, knees braced against the ground, throat working in deep, greedy gulps. Your hands were slick with steaming blood, lips painted crimson, every guttural moan echoing through the silent clearing. The animal thrashed once, twiceβthen went limp. And still you drank, like youβd never be full.
Jasper pushed himself up, unsteadyβnot because youβd hurt him (impossible), but because youβd stopped him. Youβd laid him out flat in five seconds. Him, Jasper Whitlock, whoβd slaughtered dozens of newborns with his bare hands and hadnβt lost a fight since the Civil War.
The Denalis had regrouped around him at a cautious distance. Tanyaβs golden eyes were wide as she watched you tear into the bull like paper, teeth ripping out its throat in a way she hadnβt seen in centuries. Kate crossed her arms tight, but even she couldnβt mask her awe. Only Eleazar spoke, his voice low and certain.
βFluid manipulation,β he murmured. βNot just blood. Our venom, too. Maybe even water, if he trains.β His gaze flicked to Jasper. βYou felt it, didnβt you? When he touched you?β
Jasper bit down on his jaw so hard he couldβve cracked his teeth. He didnβt answer. Didnβt have to. They could feel it rolling off him in wavesβ¦anger, fear, amazementβ¦and, tangled somewhere deep in the mix, something sharper and hotter that made Tanya and Kate exchange a glance.
βLord help me,β Jasper muttered under his breath. His fingers twitched like he couldnβt decide whether to keep his hands at his side or his hair.
Eleazar went on as if he hadnβt heard. βYouβve killed a hundred newborns stronger than average. But youβve never seen anything like this. None of us haveβ¦β
Jasper stayed silent, eyes locked on you as you finally wrenched yourself free from the carcass, chest heaving with phantom breath. Steam rose from the fresh blood on your skin. You looked feral, radiant, terrifying.
He hated that his chest tightened at the sight. Hated that his thoughts stuttered for half a second as he remembered your fingers digging into his jaw, venom inside his own body freezing like a river turned to glass. Hated that every part of him wanted to walk over there and shake you until you listenedβwhile some darker, quieter part just wanted to watch you feed. You were a fucking unit. His responsibility, his newborn
Behind him, Tanya shifted uncomfortably, wrinkling her nose at the emotions leaking off him. Kate made a face. βYouβre broadcasting like a damn radio,β she muttered.
Jasper didnβt respond. Didnβt even glance at them. He just stood there, jaw tight, fists clenched, and watched you lick the blood from your hand like youβd been born for it.
The world was still tinted red when you finished feeding. The bull was nothing but a collapsed heap in the snow, its blood steaming on your lips. You barely had time to swipe your arm across your mouth like a toddler before a cold hand clamped onto the back of your shirt and yanked you off your feet.
βEnough.β Jasperβs voice was low, vibrating with fury, every syllable drawn razor-sharp. He didnβt ask, didnβt warn youβjust dragged you back, boots cutting trenches into the snow.
You stumbled, legs clumsy with newborn strength, but didnβt fight him. Not because you couldnβtβyou couldβbut because your stomach was rolling, turning inside out. He was hauling you like a misbehaving kid as the Denali sisters followed at a leisurely distance, amused golden eyes flicking between your bloody clothes and Jasperβs white-knuckled grip.
Your legs buckled. Knees hit the snow with a crunch, hands collapsing the snow and then the muddy grass beneathβ¦and then everything came up at onceβburning, choking.
βWhat theβughβfuckββ you spat between violent heaves. Chunks of old human food mixed with dark blood splattered the snow, foul and sour, like rot poured straight out of your stomach. You gagged again, body shuddering uncontrollably, cursing through clenched teeth as more half-digested sludge hit the ground.
Behind you, Tanya let out a snort of laughter she didnβt bother to hide. βYeah,β she muttered to Kate, βdonβt miss that part.β Kate smirked, wrinkling her nose at the rancid smell.
Jasperβs grip didnβt waver. He stood over you, glowering down at the back of your head, still holding that stretched polo collar in his fist. The shirt heβd put on you himself after cleaning your broken, dying body. The memory made his jaw flex. Heβd seen you naked, he hadnβt wanted to (wellβ¦), hadnβt looked longer than a secondβbut it had cost him every ounce of control he had. Now you were kneeling in front of him, hurling blood and bile, and somehow you still looked dangerous.
βYou done?β His voice was cold enough to freeze the steam rising from the dead deer.
Before you could answer, Eleazar approached, boots crunching quietly. He didnβt even flinch at the stench or the gore, didnβt spare the mess a glance. His eyes were fixed on you, bright and sharp with curiosity.
βYouβ¦β he said, stepping close enough that Jasperβs head snapped toward him in warning. βYouβre going to be a challenge.β
You spat again, wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, and glared up at the blonde with feral red eyes. βWhat the hell is your problem?β
Eleazar ignored the edge in your voice, still studying you like a newly forged weapon. βA challenge worth the effort,β he continued softly. Then, glancing at Jasper, βGotta keep the Volturi out of this. If they learn what he can doβ¦β His mouth pressed into a thin line. βWelcome to our coven, Y/n.β
You laughed bitterly, coughing through the last dregs of venom-tinged vomit. βWhatever thatβs supposed to meanβ¦β
Jasper yanked you back to your feet like you weighed nothing, his glower never easing. βShut up and walk,β he growled, shoving you toward the house, still gripping your collar as if you might bolt any second, all while you complained and groaned about your stomach- and muttering about how you couldnβt even remember what was happening.
The Denali sisters followed, still smirking, still whispering to each other about how this was the first time theyβd ever seen him this rattled.
The water scalded, nearly boiling, but you didnβt even flinch as you sank down to your collarbones. Steam rolled off the tub, curling up into the air like phantom hands. The sharp tang of blood still clung to you, clung to everything, though Jasper had sprayed most of it away from your skin before letting you drop into the bath.
You sat motionless, your scarlet eyes locked on the rippling surface of the water, unable to shake the ringing in your ears. Your muscles twitched beneath your new marble skin, restless and strange, like your own body didnβt quite belong to you anymore. This is how you felt when you started doing protein shakes.
Jasper stood a few feet away, jaw tight, arms crossed as if thatβd help him avoid looking at the fact that you were completely naked under that steaming water. But his gaze slipped more than once, lingering at your collarbone, the sharp line of your shoulders. His lips pressed tighter each time.
βYouβre not dead anymore,β Jasper said finally, voice low, steady. Like he was afraid if he didnβt sound calm youβd spiral again. βYou were. That accidentβ¦ you werenβt gonna make it.β His eyes didnβt waver, but you could feel the weight of what he wasnβt saying. I couldnβt let you die.
You blinked at him, slow, the words not fitting together. βWhat the fuck does that even mean?β No seriously, what the hell is as going on.
βIt means,β Eleazar cut in, kneeling beside the tub with the cool, careful air of a man handling a weapon, βyouβre one of us now. A vampire.β
You laughed. Or maybe choked. The sound that came out of your throat was broken. βYouβre both outta your minds.β You reached up, wiping water off your face.
βYou think this is a joke?β Jasperβs voice sharpened, that Southern edge coming out. βThat thing you just did in the snow? Takinβ me to my knees like I was nothinβ? Humans donβt do that, kid.β
Your chest heaved, though you didnβt need to breathe anymore. Memories bubbled up, fragmented and hazyβyour motherβs voice, soft as church hymns, but you couldnβt pin down her face. Couldnβt recall the exact curl of her lip when she scolded you. Just a void where she should have been, and it terrified you more than the two vampires staring you down.
βYour body is changing,β Eleazar continued, tone even. βThe next year will beβ¦ difficult. The first week will be hell. Everything you ate as a human is still rotting in your systemβyouβll keep purging until itβs gone. Your throat will feel like a hot brand every time youβre near blood. Youβll feel thirst like youβre losing your mind.β He held your gaze. βNo killing humans. Not ever. If you want to survive thisβ¦ you learn restraint.β
βRestraint?β you repeated, bitter. βYou expect me to believe Iβm some bloodsucking freak and then youβre gonna hand me rules? And letβs rewind a bit- how in the hell did I die- what exactly was this accident??β You sat up in the tub, trying to put everything together.
And suddenly you were there again. Two bright lights heading towards you before it wentβ¦black.
βAnd It ainβt a choice,β Jasper said, his voice low enough to draw your eyes back to his. The muscles in his jaw worked as if he was chewing on his own restraint. βYou do it, or the Volturi come for you. They donβt give second chances.β
The word meant nothing to you, but the venom in his tone did. Your hands clenched on the edge of the tub until porcelain cracked beneath your grip. Restrain, what restraint? And who was this Volturi ?
Eleazar didnβt react. He simply kept speaking, voice smooth and patient. βThe Volturi is the closest thing we have to a law,β he said, answering the question you hesitated to say out loud. βYou have a gift. You can manipulate fluidsβblood, venomβ¦ likely even water if you learn control. Thatβs why you need to be hidden. If the wrong people find out, theyβll turn you into a weapon.β
You couldnβt even remember your own motherβs face. You couldnβt even remember what the hell you were doing the day you got killed.
How could you be a weapon?
The steam swirled thicker around you, and you realized your hands were shakingβnot from the heat, not from fear, but from the raw, gnawing burn in your throat. You swallowed hard, but it didnβt go away. It was worse than thirst. It was hunger, deep and endless.
You looked between them, breathing hard out of habit. βIβm supposed to justβ¦ accept this?β
Jasperβs gaze locked on yours, steady, unreadable. βYou donβt exactly got a choice.β
The first three days were hell.
Your body tore itself apart. At first, it was just vomiting: violent heaves that left blood splattered in the sink, streaking across the floor, coating your lips. Then it was worse. The rotten sludge of human foodβevery burger, every soda, every bite youβd shoved down in your last weeks aliveβerupted from you like poison being purged. You cracked tiles in the Denalisβ guest bathroom just bracing yourself against the walls, snarling between curses as another wave hit.
Jasper never left the doorframe. Not once.
βI donβt need a babysitter,β you growled at him, teeth bared, crouched over the toilet as black-red bile poured out of you. βIβm not a kid.β Your attitude was worser than a 13 year old girl. Something that was expected to others, you were getting used to it.
βSure as hell ainβt human either,β Jasper drawled, but his eyes stayed fixed on you, hands loose at his sides even though you could see the tension rolling off him. βYouβre a newborn. Stronger than me if you wanted to beβand dumb enough to hurt yourself doinβ it.β
βFuck you,β you spat, or tried to, though it came out with another violent retch.
You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, straightened up in the doorway, and saw Jasper watching you again, silent and unreadable.
βYouβre worse than a fuckinβ bloodhound,β you muttered, flicking on the sink to brush the smell of death off your tongue for the 3rd time that day.
βSomeoneβs gotta make sure you donβt fall apart.β
βIβm fine,β you lied, because everything about your body still felt wrong. Too strong. Too sharp. Too empty.
The Denali sisters didnβt help much. Tanya and Kate passed the bathroom more than once, catching whiffs of that stomach-turning stench, and laughed under their breath. βDonβt miss that,β Irina, who had just came back from Vancouver murmured, earning a chuckle from Kate. βThatβs what I said.β Carmen wrinkled her nose and disappeared into the snow with Eleazar instead of hanging around.
By the fifth day, you stopped flinching from the heat in your throat. By the seventh, the purging slowed, then stopped entirely.
That night on the seventh day, after your first real hunt with him; two elk deep, your throat pleasantly scorched but no longer on fire, you and Jasper walked back toward the Denalisβ place, boots crunching in the snow. His eyes were golden again, the black hunger washed away, and for the first time he looked almostβ¦ at ease.
Then his voice broke the silence.
βDo youβ¦ remember me?β
It caught you off guard. You shoved your hands into your jacket pockets, snow scattering under your feet. ββ¦kinda.β
βYeah.β You frowned, staring at the tree line. βI rememberβ¦ seeing you. Memories are foggy, canβt really see your face, canβt exactly remember specificsβ¦ I just know that weβreβ¦ friends. But Iβm not sure how long weβve been friends.β
Jasperβs jaw ticked as he glanced over at you. ββ¦ we havenβt been friends long, so I wouldnβt feel bad about the loss of memories,β he muttered , kicking a buried rock just to hear it skid over the ice.
But when you looked at him, you noticed the way his gaze lingered on your face, your new face. No acne. No bitten lips. No human scars. No heartbeat. No warmth. Still you⦠but not fragile.
βWe can make new memories,β he said finally, voice low, unreadable.
You met his eyes, something in your chest shiftingβa faint echo of a feeling youβd had before you died. Something you didnβt have a name for yet, still trying to figure yourself out.
It was subtle at first, like the faint pressure of water breaking against a dam. A feeling you used to bury deep under sermons, behind your motherβs cold voice and the unspoken rules of what a βgood manβ was supposed to be. You faintly remembered how it used to feel, that razor-edged panic in your chest if you looked too long at the wrong kind of pretty. A boy smiling in gym class. A teammateβs hand lingering on your shoulder. Your own eyes in the mirror, afraid to admit what they liked.
You used to swallow it down like poison, choke on it until it burned. Not me. Not like that. God, no.
But now⦠what did it matter?
You wereβ¦dead. Heaven wasnβt waiting. Your motherβs voice was a ghost you could barely recall. The weight of expectationβ¦marriage, kids, church pews, legacyβwas gone, left rotting in the ground with your heartbeat. What could they threaten you with now? Hell? Eternal damnation? You were already living something stranger than either. Realer than that.
You didnβt give a damn anymore. About heaven. About being βright.β About fitting into the crooked mold your mother tried to crush you into. If you wanted to look at someone, you would. If you wanted to feel something, you would.
And right now, walking through the snow with Jasper Hale glancing sideways at you,quiet, sunken-eyed, his jaw hard and unreadableβ¦you wanted to lean into this. Lean into whatever this was.
That was harder to read. Jasperβs face was stone, but his emotions werenβt. Even without his gift, you could feel the weight of it rolling off him like thunder. Guilt, firstβso heavy it made your stomach twist, even though you didnβt need to eat anymore. He carried it everywhere, like he was afraid to set it down. You werenβt sure if it was guilt for turning you, or guilt for wanting to keep you close.
And under thatβ¦ something hotter. A pull he didnβt want to name. Maybe couldnβt name. Every time his amber eyes lingered on you too long, you saw his jaw flex, as if he was grinding the thought out of his skull before it could take root.
You didnβt care about Jasperβs quiet guilt anymore. Not really. Sure, it sucked that youβd never see your mom or your cousins againβbut letβs be real. Most of them wouldβve bailed on you if they knew what you really were. If they knew what youβd been hiding from yourself. You were done twisting yourself into knots for people who wouldnβt have stayed.
It was time for new beginnings. Time to lean into whatever the hell this new life was.
So when Jasper tugged the book from your handsβcarefully, like it might explodeβand said, βCome on. Outside,β you didnβt argue. You just stood, brushing imaginary dust from your jeans, and followed him into the icy white expanse.
The Denalis stayed away. Just you and him.
The first hour was simple. Speed drills. Strength drills. Your reflexes against his. You matched him step for step, hit for hit, until he stopped pulling his punches and you both blurred through the snow in a flurry of limbs and gritted teeth. You were stronger than he wanted to admitβ¦and heβd fought armies of newborns (he would take any chance to bring it up).
But strength wasnβt what Jasper really cared about.
He wanted to test your control.
And that⦠that was harder.
Your emotions were like gasoline now. Every spark a full-blown fire. Happiness made you dizzy. Sadness hollowed you out. Anger? Anger lit you up from the inside like molten metal. Andβ¦arousalβGod help youβcame fast, random, guilty as hell (embarrassingly). Testosterone 2.0, he called it once under his breath, smirking. Youβd almost swung at him for that.
He taunted you. Sidestepped your fastest strikes. Corrected your form in a voice that was just this side of patronizing. βYouβre telegraphing,β he drawled after throwing you face-first into the snow for the third time. βA newborn should be faster than this. You sure youβre trying?β
Your teeth clicked together. βI am trying.β You were never a fighter, never rough housed with male friends, never fought in schoolβstraight As, basketball, church and studying. Thatβs all. You were soft. He was trying to change that.
βDoesnβt look like it.β He circled you like a predator, eyes sharp, waiting. βAnger makes you sloppy. Youβll never win like that.β
You lunged. Not a practice lunge, not a measured move, but all speed and raw fury. All vampire. Jasper blocked, twisted, slammed you into the frozen ground hard enough to crater it. Snow burst up around you, glittering like glass.
βShut up!β You roared, shoving him off with strength that surprised you both.
And thatβs when it happened.
The pressure in your head changedβlike a muscle you didnβt know you had flexed on instinct. The venom in Jasperβs veins stuttered, slowed, locked. For a heartbeat, he froze mid-stride, eyes wide, breath caught in his throat though he didnβt need to breathe. Immediately you thought: oh no not again, reaching out to catch him but it was too late. His knees buckled. He hit the ground hard, amber eyes rolling back for a split second.
The air around you crackled with something electric, something primal. You hadnβt even touched him. This wasnβt like the first time it happened, this time you were aware, this time you watched.
The pressure hit him before he understood itβlike invisible hands in his veins, like someone had grabbed his entire nervous system and wrung it dry. His feet locked. His chest seized. He didnβt even have time to curse before his knees gave way and his brain went empty with numbness. For a split second he felt absolutely nothing. No emotions, not even his, not even his voiceβ¦
Jasper Whitlockβ¦who had fought wars, slaughtered armies of newborns, commanded chaos itselfβ¦crashed to his knees in the snow like a damn rookie.
When he shook it off and staggered upright, there was something new in his face. Not fear exactly, not anger, but a dangerous mix of bothβ¦ and something hotter. He was enjoying this, not that heβd admit that verbally. But his powers did, something mixed with excitement and lust flowing out of his pores and you felt every once of it.
You didnβt know it was coming from him, you shake your head, gently slapping your face. You just assumed it was your hormones.
And there you were. Standing over him. Not gloating, not smirkingβlooking almost guilty, like youβd tripped him instead of knocking him on his ass with a gift that shouldnβt even exist.
But Jasper wasnβt thinking about guilt.
Hell, he wasnβt even thinking about danger.
He shouldβve beenβbecause what youβd done was terrifying. Youβd shut him down, body and venom, without even laying a hand on him. If youβd pushed harder, he wasnβt sure heβd be waking up at all. The idea shouldβve chilled him to his core.
βAgain,β he said, voice low, jaw clenched. βDo it again. I need to see how far this goes.β He didnβt give you time to argue or apologize.
He told himself it was just training, just strategy. He had to know the limits of your power before the wrong people found out. That was the excuse.
But when you shook your head like you were dizzy, slapping your own cheek and muttering under your breath, Jasper knew you were blaming your newborn hormones for the sudden rush in your chest. You didnβt realize it was him leaking into the air, radiating heat and thrill like a damn furnace.
And God help himβhe liked that you didnβt know.
He tightened his fists, buried the rush in a soldierβs discipline, and barked again, sharper this time:
You hesitated. His stance was different nowβlooser, hungrier. He wasnβt coming at you like a teacher anymore. He was coming at you like a soldier itching for a real fight. Your ass was starting to get nervous now. You mightβve been stronger than him at this moment, but you werenβt a fighter.
Your chest tightened. Guilt gnawed at the edges of your focus because you didnβt want to hurt him. But underneath that, something hotter, sharper, swelled in your ribs. Pride and male ego. Youβd done what no newborn was supposed to do. Hell, what no vampire was supposed to do. Youβd leveled Jasper Whitlock.
The next lunge was fast, too fast for a human eye to track. His boots carved up the snow, his hand darting for your collar. You felt his intent. Calm but coiled, predatory, even affectionate in its own twisted way. He wasnβt here to kill you, but he was here to test you.
That muscle in your head flexed again.
The venom in his veins jerked like a marionette string yanked too hard. Jasper froze mid-stride, expression flashing from feral focus to startled slackness. His whole body shuddered once, then folded like someone had cut his tendons. He hit the ground hard, face-first, snow kicking up around him. He was out.
This time you didnβt rush to catch him. You just stood there, chest heaving, watching.
What the hell am I doing? you thought. This guy saved me, and Iβm putting him down like some kind of dogβ¦
But the pride swelled again. You couldnβt help it. There he was, kneeling at your feet, amber eyes glazed like heβd just come out of a dream.
Because for him, thatβs exactly what it was.
Itβd been over a century since Jasper had sleptβreal sleep, the kind humans took for granted. But every time your power locked him down, there was a flash of it. A microsecond of quiet, like sinking under warm water. No guilt. No orders. No memories of blood-soaked battlefields. Just stillness.
And thatβcombined with the sharp, stubborn thrill of a fight he couldnβt winβlit something in him he hadnβt felt in decades.
He pushed up on one knee, swaying slightly, then spat snow from his lips. His laugh was low, ragged, almost disbelieving.
βJesus Christ, kidβ¦β he rasped, eyes bright and sharp now, no longer amber but filled black, as if he hadnβt hunted in weeks. βYou have no idea what youβre doing to me.β
You blinked, unsure if he meant literally, your power orβ¦ the heat simmering between you two that he was leaking into the air again, intoxicating and impossible to ignore. You swallowed thickly, and looked away from him for a second. You had to calm down, you had to calm down, you had to calm downβ
You were rock hard right now.
And you prayed he didnβt notice.
βAgain,β Jasper ordered, voice rougher, like gravel dragged over glass. βDonβt hold back this time. Put me down βtil I canβt get up.β
Oh heβs insane. You looked back towards him, watching as he brushed the rest of the snow off as if he wasnβt about to get dirty all over again. βJasββ
βCmon. Donβt be scared.β His fists were already in front of his face, boxing style, like he just knew heβd land a punch. Wrong.
Jasper moved like lightning, years of war and training carved into his every motion. His fists sliced through the air, his boots barely whispering against the snow, every strike meant to test your limits, not his. You didnβt use your powers automatically this time, no, you had a recovery period. You needed like- just two minutes because there was a lot happening right now and if you continued you wouldβve made a mess of yourself.
You spent that recovery period dodging his hits as best as you could, but some landed. You quickly got a quick taste to realize he really wasnβt holding back as you grunted from the force into your stomach and you swore you felt your skin cracking and sealing back together.
He backed up with practice ease, your red eyes glaring up into his.
Then you gave him what he wanted.
That strange muscle deep in your mind flexed hard. You didnβt even have to touch him. The venom in his body staggered, locked up mid-flow. Jasper crashed to one knee, then both, palms hitting the snow so hard it cracked underneath. His teeth clenched, breath hitching out of pure instinct as if heβd been winded.
But this timeβ¦ you didnβt let go right away.
You felt every drop of venom inside him grind to a stop, like ice spreading through his veins. His eyes flutteredβnot out of pain, but out of something dangerously close to bliss. A groan slipped from his throat, sharp and low, and it made something hot coil deep in your stomach, something you didnβt want to name. Then he crashed onto his stomach, eyes rolling back as if he went unconsciousβwhich technically I guess he did.
For a full six seconds Jasper stayed there, trembling faintly, his body unresponsive except for the heat in his gaze when it finally snapped back into focus.
And damn it, he smiled. Not a wide smile. A dangerous, private one, the kind soldiers share right before going back into the line of fire because they love it too much to quit.
You stumbled back, shaking your head. βIβ¦I need a break.β
Your knees hit the snow, slushy cold soaking into your jeans, but it didnβt matter. The world felt too sharp around the edges, your brain pulsing like youβd run a marathon you never trained for. Every time you used that power, it burned. Not in your throat like thirst, but behind your eyes, in your skull. You thought vampires didnβt have human traits like headaches, what the hell.
Above you, the grey Alaskan sky churned with heavy clouds. You leaned back on your elbows, breathless though you didnβt need to breathe, the deep heat in your stomach rolling like a second heartbeat. On top of this migraineβ¦ your body was still pulsing in heat. It was overwhelming, overstimulating in almost the worst way and you wished you could control your body.
Jasper wiped snow from his jaw with the back of his hand and took a few steadying breaths he didnβt need. You didnβt miss the faint tremor in his fingers.
From the ridge, the Denali coven watched in utter silence. Tanya crossed her arms, golden eyes amused. Kate smirked knowingly, whispering something in Carmenβs ear that earned her a sharp elbow to the ribs. Eleazar, of course, said nothing, but they caught the faint, knowing shake of his head.
They saw the way Jasper looked at you. Not with fear, not even irritation, but something far more dangerous. A mixture of awe, challenge, and hunger that had nothing to do with blood. And they saw the way you, still new, still raw, didnβt notice it at allβdidnβt realize you were feeding something in him no fight ever had.
Your head lolled back against the cold, eyes slipping closed. Canβt keep this up, you thought. Heβs gonna run me into the ground. Iβm not built like him.
βDonβt check out on me now,β Jasper muttered, stalking closer, his shadow cutting the grey light. βWe ainβt done.β
βSpeak for yourself,β you rasped, not bothering to move. βFeels like Iβm pulling a truck with my brain.β
Jasper crouched, boots crunching, watching you with an unreadable expression that set your nerves on edge. Not hostile. Not gentle either. Something between predator and partner.
βYouβll get stronger,β he said simply. But his voice was rougher now, betraying how much he was feeling it. βAnd when you doβ¦ God help anyone that ainβt on your side.β
You didnβt reply to that comment. You were trying not to say anything stupid. He was too close right now. You smelt him too clearly, felt him even if he wasnβt a 95 degrees. You swallowed thickly with your eyes still closed, not brave enough to look at him right now. You twisted your hips uncomfortable, trying to pull the wedgie out your crotch without him realizing. If only you knew those were his emotions you were feeling right now, reflecting onto you and then right back to him, almost amplifying.
Jasper crouched in front of you, expecting some snark, maybe a shove, but instead⦠nothing. You just sat there, staring at the clouds like you were trying to will them into swallowing you whole.
Thatβs when he caught it. Not weakness, not laziness. The fine tremor in your fingers, the way your eyes struggled to focus when they fluttered open... The kind of exhaustion no vampire should be feeling.
βHell,β he muttered under his breath. The fight bled right out of him.
βAlright.β He pushed up to his feet and reached for your arm. βThatβs it for today.β
βI can go againββ you started, forcing yourself upright, but your legs buckled halfway through the motion. Jasper caught you without thinking, steadying you with an iron grip.
βNope,β he said firmly, almost sharp. βYou canβt.β
There was no pride in his tone now. No thrill of being challenged, no soldierβs grin. Just a steady weight of responsibility settling over him like wet snow. He slung your arm over his shoulder, practically hauling you up despite your weak protests.
βYouβre done. I pushed too hard,β he admitted, clearing his throat like the words tasted sour. βThatβs on me.β He didnβt even apologize to emmet when they fought.
You blinked at him, but didnβt disagree, just nodded.
As the two of you crunched back through the snow toward the Denalisβ house, the coven watching from their perch with unreadable expressions, Jasper kept glancing sidelong at you. He could feel the drag of your emotions; fatigue, frustration, and something else running hotter, deeper, right under your skin. Something he was responsible for.
And underneath his own calm mask, a quiet realization set in.
Not just your power, though that was a damn nightmare waiting to happen. Not just the fact that you could lock him up like a puppet and drop him to his knees without laying a finger on him. But himself.
The thrill. The way his own chest tightened when he thought about pushing you again, about feeling that sudden freeze inside his veins. It was addictive, and that made it reckless.
He cleared his throat again as the porch came into view, more to cut off his own thoughts than to get your attention. βWeβll take it slow from now on,β he said, voice low but steady. βYour control comes first. My pride can wait.β
You said nothing but a tired little grunt.
The Denali house was quiet, snow muffling the world outside. Jasper sat on the edge of his bed, staring at his hands. Long, pale fingers still faintly aching from being forced to his knees earlier. He hadnβt felt aching like this in a long long time. Not since he was human.
He shouldβve felt humiliated. Instead, there was that burn in his chest again, like old whiskey hitting an empty stomach.
He raked a hand through his hair and leaned back against the frame, shutting his eyes.
Heβd known. Of course he had. Hell, heβd known since long before his own heart had stopped beating. Back in the barracks, catching himself glancing too long when the other boys stripped down. That locker room back in Houston, just before everything went to hell, when youβd peeled your shirt off without a thought and heβd felt something old and dangerous stir in his chest.
This wasnβt new. It was justβ¦inconvenient.
Feeling this way about you right now while he was actively trying to help you, to build you. It was inco-fucking-venient.
And Mariaβ¦ God, Maria had scorched everything out of him. Sheβd taken and taken until there was nothing left but a weapon in her shape. No softness. No want. At least thatβs what heβd told himself for a those 60 years after leaving her.
It hit him like a damn freight train. Raw. Unfiltered. That ridiculous collar still in his fist earlier, dragging you through the snow like an unruly pup, and all heβd been able to think was donβt look at his neck, donβt look at his mouth, donβtβ
Jasper let out a sound halfway between a groan and a curse, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes.
This wasnβt just attraction. It was hunger. Different from thirst, deeper than instinct. He needed you. Needed to be near you, to know you were breathingβeven if you didnβt breathe anymore. Every part of him, soldier and monster both, was straining toward you like iron to a magnet.
Youβre dangerous, he told himself. Not because of that venom-lock trick you kept hitting him with. Not even because you could make the Denali sisters collapse without lifting a finger.
But because you were waking up something in him he thought Maria had killed for good.
He wasnβt straight in the slightest.
And damn if it didnβt scare him how much he liked it.
The knock was soft, almost hesitant. Once. Twice. Then silence.
You dragged the towel tighter around your hips, still dripping from the too-hot shower that hadnβt even left a mark on you. The contrast of your cold skin and the hot water made steam leak from your body as you cracked your door open.
Jasper stood there like a ghost, lean and rigid, hands shoved deep in his pockets. His amber eyes flicked up to your face, down to the towel, then back up again so fast you almost missed it. *Almost.
βSup,β you grunted, stepping aside without thinking. If he wanted to scold you again about βcontrolβ or βfocus,β heβd have to do it while you found a clean shirt. You turned your back on him, water tracing paths down the planes of your shoulders, and started digging through the drawer.
Behind you, Jasper closed the door with quiet care. And then he justβ¦stopped.
His eyes dragged over you like a starving man forced to walk past a banquet. Not in the careful, paternal way heβd been looking at you since youβd woken up as a newborn. No, this was something hotter, heavier, something he hadnβt let himself feel in decades.
The change vampirism carved into you was breathtaking. Even in the week since your turning, every line of you had sharpened, every motion had become lethal and fluid. Muscle flexed under your skin with a kind of inhuman precision, smooth and dangerous. Your complexion had taken on that otherworldly sheen, your warm undertones gone, replaced with something cooler and muted.
And then there was the mundane detail, droplets sliding over your back, catching on the silky black durag tied over your head, highlighting waves he couldnβt stop staring at.
Christ alive, Jasper thought, throat tight. What the hell are you doing to me?
You didnβt even notice him staring,still rummaging, muttering about where the hell your sweatpants had gone. But Jasper noticed every damn thing. The way you stood with casual confidence, the towel threatening to slip a little lower with each move. How the room smelled of soap and steam, your newborn scent wound through it, sharp and intoxicating.
For a man who hadnβt slept in a century, this felt like the closest thing to dreaming.
βNeed somethinβ, cowboy?β you finally asked over your shoulder, holding up a pair of joggers in one hand.
The sound of your voice jerked Jasper back a half step, but his gaze didnβt soften. If anything, it sharpened, like a blade being honed.
βYeah,β he said, voice lower than he intended. βNeeded to talk to you. Face to face.β
But it wasnβt just talking he wantedβand he hated himself for it.
You didnβt look up, just yanked the joggers free and tossed them on the bed, still pawing through the drawer for a shirt. βAbout what? Training again? βCause Iβm not doing round three with you today. Iβll drop dead.β
βYou wonβt drop dead. I fear itβs a bit too late for that.β You scoff at his dry joke. His bootsteps clicked soft on the hardwood as he shut the distance a little. βBut thatβs not why Iβm here.β
Something about his tone made you pause. You turned halfway, towel slung low on your hips, water still tracing down your ribs. And Jasperβwell, he swore heβd meant to keep this professional. Just walk in, say what needed saying, and walk out.
Except his eyes betrayed him.
They slid over you like they had a mind of their ownβ¦shoulders, chest, the sharp lines carved where there hadnβt been any before. Not gawking, not sloppy. Focused. Appraising. Like he was cataloguing every difference vampirism had etched into you. And with each step he took closer, it got harder to pretend he wasnβt looking.
βThen what?β you asked slowly, brows drawing together. βWhatβs got you looking like youβre about toβ¦ eat me or something?β
That made him freeze mid-step, but not back off. If anything, he smirked faintly at your choice of words, though his jaw stayed tight. βYou ever gonna stop runninβ your mouth?β he muttered, but there wasnβt any real heat behind it.
βYou ever gonna tell me what the hellβs goinβ on?β you shot back, towel hand tightening just in case it slipped.
He shouldβve laughed. He shouldβve said itβs nothinβ, just wanted to check on you, and left. Instead he kept walking until there wasnβt much space between you at all. You could see the amber rings in his eyes clear as day.
βI came toβ¦ make sure youβre settlinβ in,β Jasper said finally, but the words felt paper-thin, like he barely believed them himself. His gaze dipped brieflyβto your throat, your collarbone, lowerβand then snapped back to your face. βMake sure youβre in control.β
βFunny way to check,β you muttered. You could feel him lying.
That earned you a real grin, quick and dangerous. βIβm thorough.β
The air between you felt charged, like during training when your power hit him and locked his body up, but this time it was all him, no venom-stutter, no blood-trick. Justβ¦ heat. The same heat youβd been craving since 15, freshman year of high-school.
βYouβre staring, dude.β Your voice was half-joke, half-warning, a crooked grin undercutting the fact your knuckles went white on the towel at your hip.
Jasper didnβt even try to deny it. He just breathed out a laugh, soft, low, like it slipped past his teeth without permission, and kept on coming closer.
βYeah,β he drawled, gaze unwavering. βReckon I am.β
Neither of you said anything for a solid ten seconds. The silence wasnβt empty, it was loaded, humming with that dangerous charge that always came off him when his control thinned. You used the stillness to study him back: the hard-cut lines of his jaw, the faint puckered scars at his throat and down the side of his face, half-moons of venom bites you still hadnβt worked up the courage to ask about. You didnβt even know if you were allowed to.
Jasper leaned in first, slow enough to give you time to step back. But for the first time in eighteen years, you werenβt nervous. Werenβt scared. What was there to fear now? Who could beat you for it?
So you leaned in too. Met him halfway.
The kiss itself was barely a brush at first, nothing but a quick press of lips β and Jasper, disciplined as ever, tried to pull away fast, to pretend it didnβt happen. Heavy on tried.
Because your hand; bigger, stronger, solid as iron, slid up behind his neck. You caught him before he could retreat, fingers locking just below the soft hairline, and pulled him back in.
This time the kiss was deeper. Not neat, not patient. You didnβt care. And judging by the way Jasper exhaled against your mouth like heβd been holding that breath for a century, neither did he.
Jasper hadnβt planned this. That was the first lie he told himself when your hand caught the back of his neck and dragged him in again. He hadnβt meant to come here tonight, hadnβt meant to knock on your door, hadnβt meant to let his eyes wander over every sharp line vampirism carved into youβ¦man who in the hell was he fooling!? Heβd been thinking about this since the locker room. Since the barracks, even, back when his pulse still meant something. Heβd just buried it under Maria, under guilt, under a century of pretending.
And now here you were. Steam still rising off your skin, water clinging to your collarbone. And here he was, losing grip on the same discipline that had kept him alive for decades.
Careful, cowboy . His own voice in his head, cold and strict, the one that used to train newborns and cut them down when they got too wild. But this time, he didnβt want to cut you down. He wanted to burn with you.
From your side, it was like seeing him crack open. Jasper, whoβd been a wall of quiet command and clenched control, suddenly pressing forward, not pulling away. His hand came up, warm only from friction, not life, and braced against your jaw. Not rough, but firm enough to keep you from even thinking about breaking the kiss.
You realized, dizzy and sharp at once: this wasnβt new for him. This wasnβt confusion like it had been with you. This was a confession. He knew what this was, had known for a long time. You just happened to be the spark that lit it up again.
He broke first, dragging in a breath he didnβt need, forehead still pressed to yours. You could feel the tremor in him , not fear, not weakness, but restraint stretched so thin it might snap.
βDamn,β you muttered, voice low, grip still on his neck. βYouβve been holding that in a while.β
His eyes; gold haloing the black, flicked up to yours, sharp and unguarded. For once, Jasper Whitlock didnβt have a smooth comeback. Just the truth simmering in his chest, hotter than any thirst.
Jasperβs voice was a rasp, gravel dragged across silk.
βI need youββ his lips barely brushed yours as he spoke, eyes flickering from your mouth to your stare and back again. βIβve been needinβ youβfor a long timeββ he swallowed hard, the venom thick, sweet-smelling in the air between you. βHell, probably before you were even born, but Iββ his breath hitched, the words breaking free like theyβd been chained down too long, βI need youβ¦β
Your laugh was low, breathless, almost disbelieving, and you just nodded, gripping his waist and dragging him flush against you. No more space, no more question of what this was. Both of you were stone-hard, your dick twitching underneath your towel while his strained in his sweatpants, breath coming too quick for creatures who didnβt need to breathe at all.
βYeah?β you murmured, voice deeper now, almost taunting, but warm.
His jaw tightened, but not from anger. His hand shook once, then stilled, moving fast to the knot at your towel. The fabric fell almost too easily, and now you were completely naked. He had seen you naked less than a handful of times but this was different, way different.
You kissed him again before he could say another word, teeth clicking, lips bruising, and JasperβMajor Whitlock, soldier, killer, the one who never let himself slipβactually shuddered against you.
βPlease,β he muttered against your lips, voice cracking like old wood under weight, βplease, let me make you feel goodβ¦β
The words were almost a growl, a plea laced with command. Your fingers dug into his back, brows pushing together as his hips grind against yours, this pleasure completed new. You werenβt a stranger to kissing and touching but- this was a manβ¦ your man. And this is the first time you knew it would go farther than you ever did with any girl youβd break up with a week later to avoid the exact thing thatβs about to happen-
βPleaseβ¦β he whispered once again, snapping you out of that feeling of nerves and unsure. βYeahβ¦yeahβ¦β you muttered, hands pushing up his shirt as he toed off his boots, kicking them off somewhere in your room. You breathed out. Eyes fluttering as you looked down at his pale sculpted body, this was the first time you saw him without a shirt onβ¦ and those bites did go further down.
βDamnβ¦β it came out on accident. He huffed out a laugh, eyes glancing down your bodies, his cock twitching just by the sight of you. βYeahβ¦ damnβ¦β he leads you back to the bed, your knees hitting the mattress causing you to fall back on your elbows. You werenβt as shy as heβd thought you would be.
Your fingers fisted the sheets as you watched him slide off those sweats, eyes low and chest heaving as if you were a lion that just got done chasing prey. Your legs were spread, dick leaking already from the lack of touch, sitting right below your navel as his pants hit the floor right with his briefs. Shit.
His skin had been paler than youβd thought, yet his tip a wet mauve color. The same color that matched his nipples and lips. You couldnβt stop staring. He was carved by the Michelangelo himself, smooth hairless skin, veinsβ even though were empty with blood, were blue and bulging out of his lower abdomen and the base of his penis.
βFirst time seeing a man naked like this?β He asked, buttery in the silence as he watched you watch him. You didnβt know how to reply to that without making it awkward, a breathless laugh leaving your mouth. You settled on a nod instead. He shouldβve expected that. This was his first time as well. βOther than naked boys in the locker roomβ¦β you trailed off as he smiled down at you, it was more of a lazy smirk.
βWanna know somethinβ?β He asked, yet you couldnβt even make decent eye contact. βWhatβ¦β it came out as a whisper
βYouβre not alone in this. This is my first timeβ¦ with a man that isβ¦All about making memories, remember?β And as he said thisβ¦ god as he said this he was already crawling up between your legs. βOh..oh really?..β this time there wasnβt a teasing edge to it as you asked, your legs parting to accommodate his body, you breath picking up, heaving as you felt his legs and thighs brush against yours.
βThat does make me feel betterβ¦β you joked softly, and this time he laughed with you. βOhβ¦godβ¦β you gasped out as his face brushed into your neck, his nose inhaling your new primal scent, his mouth opening to taste the side of your neck. βAinβt no god hereβ¦β
His words sent a shiver straight through you, and for a second you forgot how to breatheβnot that you needed to anymore. Those had been words that had went against your entire human existenceβ¦and you find yourself not caring. You felt yourself being free.
You felt him shift, braced on his forearms now, his weight pressing into you just enough to make the mattress groan. Every brush of his thighs against yours set your nerves on fire, every inch of his body heatless but electric.
βJasperβ¦β your voice cracked on his name, not out of fear but sheer disbelief at how close he was, how easy it was to let him in.
βMm?β he hummed against your neck, lips just barely grazing skinβtesting, teasing, lingering like he already owned the spot he hovered over.
Your hand, steady in a way your voice wasnβt, slid up the firm line of his back, tracing where old scars mapped his skin. βThisβ¦ is insane.β
His lazy smirk deepened against your throat. βWelcome to the club.β He tilted his head up just enough to meet your eyes, his amber gaze darker than youβd ever seen it, pupils blown wide. βYou gonna stop me?β
You shook your head before you even thought about it. βDo I look like Iβm gonna stop you?β He huffed out a laugh before he leaned over to press his lips into yours, causing you to moan softly into his mouth. How were you supposed to act normal after this? How were you supposed to act sane as if you hadnβt tasted him, felt his tongue on yours, his cock grinding your thigh. Fuuuck.
Your hand slid lower on instinct, gripping his waist, pulling him tightβ tighter-until you both felt it, him, hard and ready and no longer something you could ignore. Jasper groaned into your mouth, venom sweet on your tongue, and then his voice broke against your lips, desperate, unsteady:
"God, you don't know what you're doin' to me..."
Your hips twitched at that, a broken whimper leaving from your nose as you two rubbed against each other. This feeling was too intense, it was already overwhelming. βJasperβ¦β
βIm right here, babyβ¦β *baby?? Oh my fucking god Iβm about to come.
βMmβ¦β your head rolled back, eyes closing and brows pushing together as you just tried your best to concentrate to not come, to not grind your hips up too much but fuck it was just too much. And Jasper, he was already taking advantage of you.
His lips went back down to your neck, hand reaching up to cup your jaw. The air around you thrummed like a wire pulled too tight. His lips moved against your skin, not biting, just claiming, tasting you, as his hips shifted fractionally lower.
Your breath hitched. βJasββ
βShh,β he whispered, his voice breaking like it was costing him to keep it steady. βLet meβ¦just let meβ¦β His tongue, wet and surprisingly warm, flattened out and licked up your skinβ¦ and then he went down, further and further until your eyes snapped opened and you looked down at him with widened eyes.
βJasper-I donβt knowββ
βJust need to taste youβ¦β
βAinβt nothinβ to be scared ofβ¦β
Your hips twitched again, entirely on instinct, and his low laugh rumbled against your skin as if he could feel the frustration bleeding off you. βEasy,β he murmured. βDonβt fight it.β
You shakily nodded, the hand on his back coming up to rest on the back of his neck.
Then his hand finally wrapped around your length, a low purr rumbling in his chest as his eyes that shined from the warm light in the room looked into yours. Black to black, the red in your irises and the gold from his gone. And then he tasted you, tongue rolling out and licking the underside of your thick cock. Jaspers control cracked as that bitter sweet taste of your venom coated his tongue.
A sharp, broken sound tore out of your chest, half snarl and half whimper. Your hand shot down into his hair, meaning to push him away, or maybe pull him closerβyou couldnβt tell which. βGod, Jasββ you gasped, voice tight, head tipped back against the wall.
βriiight hereβ he growled against your skin without lifting his head, lips brushing up and down your shaft, words coming ragged now, more confession than tease. βJust you, just meβ¦β
The sound you made at that, sharp, breathless, almost a laughβseemed to undo something in him entirely. His grip tightened at your hip, his voice low and desperate against your skin. βNeed you, been needinβ youβdonβt tell me no nowβ¦β and then his mouth, so warm, so fucking wet, hugged your tip like a firm hand shake, suckling and and moaning around you as he tasted and took in your essence.
And whatever half-formed protest you had died right there, burning out in the back of your throat as instinct took over, your other hand fisting in the sheets. βFuuuck, Iβm gonna cooomeβ¦β you whimpered, cursing like you didnβt grow up in the church, like you didnβt do Bible studies Wednesdays and Thursdays. That seemed to fuel him even more, his eyes fluttering closed as his throat relaxed and took you in even more. No gag reflex, no struggle, just pure lust and need.
He didnβt even get half way down before your hand in his hair tighten and your toes curled. βOh my goshββ your back arched off the mattress, your nut spewing into his mouth and he swallowed it up. Youβre apart of him now, forever and always.
He pulled away with a soft pop, lips wet and fixed in a grin.
His back it the mattress with a soft thud and grunt, his pores extruding his lust, almost smothering you in the face as you bend down to burry your face in his neck to take a greedy inhale. βMmβ¦ you smell so goodβ¦β you muttered, your voice vibrating against his neck causing him to groan softly at the tickling feeling. You were ready for him now, that first orgasm was just the preheat.
He seemed to be right where you were, his thighs widening. βGuess that woke you up hm? Movinβ real eager.β He huffed out a laugh, his hands coming up to spit on his fingers. A curse flew out your mouth as you watched him reach down, his fingers rubbing up and down his hole before one slipped through. ββ¦oh godβ¦β you said for the 100th time that night. This is the most erotic thing youβve seen in all of your lifetime.
He was shameless and beautiful in a way that almost hurt to look at.
A curse fell out of your mouth before you could stop it. βJasβ¦β you said hoarsely, not even sure what you were asking for.
βJust watch,β he murmured, low and warm like honey. βAinβt no need to rush.β
But your body didnβt agree. Every nerve felt coiled too tight, every second dragged long and thin. The hunger, the same gnawing that burned your throat for bloodβwas here too, deeper, more confusing. You were sure youβd lose your mind if you didnβt touch him.
The way he breathed out a shaky laugh at your expression made your chest twist. βWhatβs wrong, darlinβ? Never seen anyone this worked up?β
βNoββ you croaked honestly, shaking your head, βnot like this.β
The words slipped out raw, honest, and they hit him harder than you meant. His teasing edge softened, eyes catching yours again as if to ask without asking. And you didnβt look away. He slipped in another finger, stretching himself out for you as his pants, lips parted.
Your hands gripped his thighs and pushed them further up, you couldnβt take it anymore, it was like watching the most seductive and personal porn ever and you never watched porn.
His fingers slipped out of him with a low moan and you didnβt hesitate to press your tip against his hole. Hands slipped around your hips and pulled you in closer causing your hands to reach up to grip the sheets above his head, and you swore you saw the light just for a second as your dick gets sucked up by his tightness. Your eyes closed tightly, your breath caught in your throat as he pulls you deep inside of him with a parted mouth. βYeah, yeah just like that..β his breath hits your ear as he speaks to you.
His legs were around your hips now as you thrusted until he took all girthy inches, till your balls were the only thing seen. This wasnβt like being human. There was no guilt clawing up your throat, no flash of your motherβs voice spitting venom about sin and shame. If anything, the thought of her made you laugh breathlessly against Jasperβs throat. βYou okay?β He asked you, his voice low and breathless as he tried not to be loud. Loud wasnβt in his natureβ¦not yet atleast.
You nodded fast, licking your lips as he fluttered around you. βTryingβ¦trying not to cum so fastβ¦β you whispered almost pathetically and he huffed out a laugh, causing you to groan against his neck as his body squeezed yours. You pulled your hips back- slowly before pushing them back in, a small gasp catching in your throat as he groaned into your earβ¦
You paused, eyelids fluttering opened, and pulled back just enough to see his face. You caused that noise. You made him feel this way. He didnβt bother anymore with the reassurance, mostly because he could barely reassure himself as he watches your maroon eyes peer down at his lips. Your hips began to move in a slow careful rhythm, your faces mimicking eachothers as you fucked into him.
βOhβ¦oh fuckβ¦β his moans werenβt as loud as youβd hoped, and that fueled something inside of you, something that itched your ego and curiosity. So you moved faster, your thighs clapping together louder, causing the bed frame to thump against the wall. βOooh fuuuuckβ¦β You bit down on your lips as you watched his eyes roll back, that same exact face he made when he was knocked out for those 5 seconds during training. There it is, you thought to yourself.
βLike that?β You whispered against his lips, wanting to taste the sounds he made, wanting to swallow them down inside of you. He nodded with a short whimper, honestly at lost for words at just how good you felt stretching him out. βUh-Mh-β¦mmmβ¦β he bit down on his lip, and if he could blush his cheeks and ears would be a blinding red from embarrassment.
You werenβt having that.
βCmonβ¦ pleaseβ¦ tell me how Iβm doingβ¦β you muttered, your hands release the sheets above his head, pushing his thighs against his chest even more, forcing his legs to unwrap from your back and hang limply over your shoulders. You were deeper now, your mouth needily taking in air in that habit you couldnβt break. He was losing his mind underneath you, and heβironically preyed that the Denalis didnβt acknowledge what was going on under their roof.
βYes yes yesssβ¦β he could barely even understand what the hell you were telling him at this point, his brain overwhelmed as you tip touched his prostate. βIβmβ¦ Iβm doing good? God Jas, you feel so damn goodβI know Iβm not gonna lastβ¦β you ramble on and on, your fingers at this point digging into his skinβand it hurt, it hurt so bad yet felt so good, heβd let you crack him as long as it was you. He couldnβt give a damn at this point as your hips pistols against his in that sloppy rushed way. βIβm gonna cum sweetheart, fuuckβkeep goinβ¦β his head fell back against the wrinkled sheets, eyes squeezing shut as his balls clinched with his release.
You were right behind him, the weight of your upper half pressing him into the mattress as your thrusts get even worse. βIβm right there Jas, can Iβ can I come inside you? Pleasepleaseplease,β you begged him at this point, because you knew you wouldnβt be able to pull out in time, you just knew. And damn, that was enough for him, just the thought of you coming inside of him caused him to twitch beneath you, his noises broken and embarrassed as he came over his stomach and chest.
Just the sight of his face contorting was enough for you. You couldnβt wait for his answer even if he tried. βJasper, oh myββ your mouth fell open as you basically fall into him, your cock borrowing so deep inside of him his hands reached up and dug into your neck and backβtrying his best to hold onto something from this sensation pouring into him.
You eased back, slow and careful, like moving too quickly would break the spell or maybe shatter you both entirely. Your chest was heaving, Jasperβs hands still lingering on your back as if letting go would mean this wasnβt real.
The room was quiet except for the faint hum in the walls, your senses still thrumming from everything youβd just felt. You half-collapsed beside him on the bed, the mattress dipping under your weight, and for a long moment neither of you spoke.
His hair was mussed, a rare thing. A lock of gold fell across his forehead, his lips faintly parted as if words had been on their way but never made it. You could see every tiny scar on his neck, every mark that told stories you hadnβt asked about yet. His amber eyes were heavy-lidded, not from exhaustion, but from something else. Something youβd put there.
Holy shit. I just⦠with Jasper Hale.
It shouldβve felt wrong, or scary, or something. Instead, it felt like the only thing in the world that made sense.
He didnβt smirk, didnβt try to play it off. He just looked at you like youβd been his all along. Like heβd been waiting for this exact moment, maybe since before you even knew what you wanted.
ββ¦Well,β you muttered finally, because the silence was almost too much.
βYeah,β Jasper said, voice low, rough around the edges. And thenβhe actually laughed. Just one soft huff of breath, but it made you crack a smile.
Neither of you said the words out loud, but it didnβt matter. The way his hand found yours in the space between you said it for both of you. The way he didnβt let go, not even after the quiet stretched on.
Whatever line youβd crossed tonightβ¦it was gone for good. This wasnβt temporary. Wasnβt casual. In that shared glance, that stillness, you both knew: together wasnβt just a choice. It was a fact.
