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You talk a lot of shit for someone who can’t even fart

#shitpost #random thoughts #idk where this came from #i stand by this #i thought this was funny

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Yes, I’m gonna say this.

I NEVER LIKED TIMMY CHALAMENTA

AND EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY

AND THEY WOULD BE RIGHT

BUT NOT FOR THAT REASON

#shitpost #random thoughts #i thought this was funny #timothée chalamet #I never liked him #I was the first to say that #I was the first to never trust him #there was something behind those eyes

“She thought she could, so she did,” my mom said as she barreled through a one way street-

#shitpost #random thoughts #women’s wrongs #ha ha funny #i thought this was funny

Ya’ll I need you to tell my sister she’s weird and wrong-

THIS is how she uses her soap and thinks it’s normal. I think it’s the heathen way.

SHE WORE IT DOWN THIS WAY. THIS ISN’T NORMAL.

#this is not normal #soap #PLEASE TELL ME IM NOT WRONG #shitpost #random thoughts

Peacock (2010)

#shitpost #this is gonna make sense to a really niche corner of the internet #if you know you know #my sister pointed this out once and i never forgot it #i loved the movie #peacock (2010)

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Victor: say one more word and i’ll save you

The Creature: Elizabeth

Victor: *fucking LEAVES*

Me in theater:

#frankenstein #guillermo del toro #frankenstiensmonster #shitpost #random thoughts

This never ceases to irritate me: when people in my gym class didn’t understand TIME

We’d do the five minute (hell) run. They’d put the time on the big sports board. It would say 5:00 and start counting down.

Every time it went from 3:00 to 2:59 (or whatever fucking time just know it went down from the first number) everyone would be like, “we have two more minutes!!”

I couldn’t get them to understand that NO, we STARTED the THIRD minute. We still have to work through the THIRD MINUTE. All those seconds counting down ARE STILL COUNTED.

“But it says 2 on the clock???” NO IT SAYS TWO MINUTES AND THIRTY FUCKING SECONDS LEARN BITCH LEARN

#shitpost #idk where this came from #female rage #girl rage #rage #random thoughts #random middle school things that pissed me off

I love just reading about two guys being dudes (im reading BL at midnight)

#shitpost #boys love #BL #yaoi bl #heaven official's blessing #thanks sis for funding my bl problem #love youuuuu

I just got suckered into buying two keychains cause they had an advertisement that said “Please adopt me! Will you be my mom?”

#shitpost #plushies #keychain #i’m dumb #i’m weak #i’m just a girl

Me, with POTS, taking off my ankle weights at the end of the day: HNNNNNNNNGUUUGHHHHHHhhhhh sweet rELIEF

#shitpost #disability #dysautonomia #pots #pots syndrome

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Note to self: chia seeds taste much better when you don’t eat the whole tablespoon at once

#shitpost #chia seeds #health and wellness

Has anybody ever thought to read some white babies’ stork bites like tea leaves or that just me-

#shitpost #stork bites #don’t ask

I can’t believe shrek used one of the most poetically powerful and beautifully written songs to depict the star crossed love between an ogre and a princess

#I can never listen to that song the same #it was really hard to take the finale of without a trace seriously #because of SHREK #shrek #shitpost

Core exercises are great in theory until you can’t stop shitting yourself

#shitpost #disability #dysautonomia #pots #pots syndrome #i have pots and ibs #just ibs things #ibs #my ibs got pissed off by the crunching and scrunching of my core

One of my favorite toilets I’ve used in public was the singular bathroom tucked away in a hidden tiny hallway.

Right next to the toilet was a metal bar I could hold onto while I shat into the stratosphere.

#shitpost #disability #dysautonomia #pots #pots syndrome #ibs #just ibs things #I have pots AND ibs #my bowels

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Me: why do i feel so tired?? all i did this weekend was walk around like a normal person-

Also me, coming to the sudden and shocking realization that im disabled: ohhhhhhhhhh

#shitpost #disability #pots #pots syndrome #potsawareness #dysautonomia

i suddenly remembered that in like third grade or sometime in elementary school we had a plinko game from a party and i would just sit there and drop the little discs over and over again

i didn't give a fuck about the points i just liked how the noises tickled my brain

i was stimming. the signs were there all along

#shitpost #stimming #plinko #random #idk #i just remembered this #elementary school

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