(  hey everybody! i hope you’re all doing well. i wanted to give you an update on me and everything else. as well as discussing the future of this blog and mike. let me start by apologizing for the lack of replies and overall lack of activity.  there is a reason behind it but i’ll get to that. as of lately, my muse for mike has been nonexistent. while some of you may be aware, others may be hearing it for the first time, it’s been a very tough couple of months. i’ve had a lot of death and illness in my family. my mental and emotional state has gone downhill. work has been very stressful.  among many more things but you get the idea. which has affected my writing and mood. i’ve been struggling getting on here and trying to write things. when i am, i sometimes force myself to write and keep up but that’s only decrease my quality of replies.  i’ve also let my blog become disorganized and messy.  thanks to therapy and meds, i have started getting back to normal, it’s a slow process but i am getting there. which brings me to my next announcement,  i will be moving Mike to a new blog and archiving this one. that being said, any threads that haven’t been started will be moved there. i’ll try wrapping up any existing threads on here to avoid messing up tracking and confusion. there is always the choose of dropping everything and starting new too. that will depending on a person to person basis but will be discussed beforehand.  i’m sorry if this is an inconvenience but i have to do it for my wellbeing and if i want to continue writing mike. if you want to follow me on there, here is the link for it. thank you so much for taking the time to read this and hope you understand. <3   )

     mike playfully rolled his eyes which was followed by a small laugh.   ❛  is that all a man needs to get your heart?  ❜  he asked half jokingly but half serious.  mike couldn’t be blame for being falling for the other.  it was hard to believe that he was single, or at least mike hoped he was.  ❛  so what i’m hearing is that you eventually want to try my cooking?  what if you happen to make the best damn scrambled eggs that i ever had?  is that something you want to deprive me of?  ❜  it seemed that he had temporarily forgotten about his problems. this had been the longest that he had smiled and laughed in a while.  crews made it so easy and didn’t seem like he was trying very hard.  ❛  a gentlemen is a gentlemen after all even if he doesn’t want to do the task.  ❜  he pointed out before continuing.   ❛  we wouldn’t want that so looks like we will be walking home together.  nah, it will be nice to have a nice big strong man with me.  you’ll eventually know where i’ll live anyways. unless the talk of trivia night, working out and cooking were just talk.  ❜  he responded, nudging him back.   ❛

mike hated emotional talks like these especially ones that left him vulnerable.  it was made worse by the fact that it was his first time dealing with such strong feelings for another male.  he had his fair share of crushes here and there but it was never like this.  which was exactly how it started, not knowing it would develop into something more.  despite that, he knew that he had to be honest and upfront about his feelings.  otherwise it wouldn’t be fair to andrew and give him the information that he needs to make a decision.   ❛  listen, i’m not expecting a marriage proposal   or  suddenly changing our relationship status on facebook.  what i do know is how i feel about you which is that i want to be with you romantically. whether it’s something that’s what you want or not, i don’t know.  if it is then we can always take things slow until we are comfortable.  do i know if this it going to work out?  not really but i want to give it a shot.  ❜  it had been difficult getting those words out. even as he finished talking, mike wasn’t sure if he managed to get out everything that he wanted to or if he made sense.  he understood andrew’s hesitation about physical contact.  there was no denying that it hurt a little bit but he wasn’t going to hold it against him. 

     why crews was having such an affect on him was something that mike couldn’t process.  it wasn’t like mike wasn’t a social person.  although it was never something like this. there was something different about crews.  he wasn’t like anyone else that he met or liked.  ❛  go out to dinner or make you dinner?  i can do both, just whichever you prefer.  looks like we are going to see plenty of each other.  ❜   which mike wasn’t sure if he was excited or scared for.  the last thing he wanted to do was screw this up.  regardless if something did happen between them, crews seem like a good friend to have. mike didn’t have many of those left.   ❛  you never know. some people are too polite.  i’m glad you are though, not how i expected my night to go but i can’t complain.  ❜  he confessed as his hand accidentally brushed against the other.   ❛  nah, i’m certain they are probably wasted by now.  i do have an apartment nearby but you don’t have to.    ❜

slowly but surely did his body began to relax and the pain began to fade away becoming pleasure. it was so much different than before. he opened his eyes to see that he wasn’t the only one who felt it. silas seemed to be in a bliss. this was so much better than any fantasy or dream that he had. their lips reuniting as they waited a bit more until mike was completely adjusted to him. mike was surprised that he could even fit and take silas’ cock. it truly felt much more bigger and thicker inside him.  that’s when mike felt the man start moving earning a very loud moan from him. it wouldn’t come as a surprise if the neighbors heard me. he wasn’t sure what to expect when he finally did until he started seeing stars when silas pushed back in.  ❛  silas.  ❜  he moaned out as his eyes locked with the other.  mike wanting him to see and know the pleasure that he was giving him. his cock slapping between them and smearing precum all over.  mike thinking of adding additional relief but when it came time, he wanted to cum only by the other.  silas seeming to find a pattern as they took in the moment.  ❛  then don’t.. it can just be us... forever.  ❜  finding it very difficult to speak and get his words together. although that was only going to get harder when silas took it up a notch.  his vision going dark when it seemed that he was hiding that special spot. it didn’t help that silas was now getting possessive of him.  ❛  fuck.. i’m yours... all yours  ❜  he repeated back to him, meaning every word. 

his heart couldn’t help but sink when he heard andy’s initial words.  by no means was mike blaming his own feelings on him but thinking the other didn’t care hurt.  it was one of the reason that mike didn’t open his heart.  he was ready to walk away from it all before his emotions got the best of him.  although when andy started to speak again, he froze and waiting wondering what else he had to say. even if it wasn’t the time or place, mike couldn’t help but chuckle softly and smile. the male always knew what to say or do to make him do that. it was one of the things that made him catch feelings for him.  ❛  i’m not, i know that my feelings are my own problems and i don’t blame you for that. you’re so much more than a cute and charming guy with a massive cock to me.  ❜   he looked down at the ground, unable to believe that he said those words.  ❛  it’s hard and complicated to explain.  ❜  even as he stood there opening up to him, mike still held himself back.  ❛  i don’t blame them, you’re special.  you think that i have?  i don’t have a clue either.  i’m honestly terrified but something inside me is telling me that you won’t ever intentionally hurt me.  i guess we need to figure out where we go from here?   ❜

     mike wondered if he was being a  bit too open and honest with crews. it felt comfortable and safe.  why the other hadn’t ran off or scared off was beyond him. all the things that he had talked about so far were his problems which he had a lot of.   ❛  thank you, i appreciate that, but i don’t think you need to be dragged into my mess. besides i’m sure you’ve probably seen or run into him when you were inside.   ❜  shaking his head as he tried to keep things light.  although he didn’t think crews was serious. why would a stranger care about his reputation and want to protect him.   ❛  hmm? is that something you usually say?  i’m kidding but now i feel like i have to do something special for you.  i’ll hold you to that.  ❜  he says as he takes a final look back at the party.  not that he’s missing much or being missed for that matter.  mike starts following the other, walking side by side as they leave into the night together.    ❛  i hope that i end up being more fun than that party.  ❜

     it killed him not being able to be close and intimate with him.  his love for him not seeming to dwindle or go away, in fact, only growing stronger with every passing moment.  ❛  between us, you are still and forever will be the hottest guy.  i am-- was lucky to have been with you.  ❜  he chuckled before letting out a sigh.  for a moment, he thought about walking over to Stephan was. mike reaching for his hand and intwining them together.  ❛  come on, i’m not leaving without you and i’m not embarrassed to be seen with you.  ❜ 

being so close to him especially in public was dangerous.  there was no telling who was watching.  he wouldn’t be surprised if there wasn’t a threatening text on his phone.  not to mention, it was hard keeping his own feeling at bay.  this was someone that he was madly in love with.  to the point where seeing him with someone else drove him to get wasted.  ❛  If you believe a lie, then it becomes truth.  ❜   quoting something that he overheard mona say.   ❛  it’s ironic that you say that considering you haven’t considered my thought and your memory seems to fail you.  ❜  his heart began picking up.   ❛  then you should know that i want to be let go and left alone.  i don’t believe that because you don’t want to hurt someone you love. i’m not jealous because i’ve moved on and so have you.  ❜  the hypocrisy and lies which is why mike took the chance to quickly move away and stumbling into Noel’s room.

it was a response that he had been expecting. in a way, he was right but mike couldn’t help how he felt. which is why he had kept his feelings hidden away and bottled up. although that had been a mistake since it only resulted into this.   ❛  i’m not going to lie to you and say that we weren’t because we were on the same page.  i was a virgin wanting to lose his virginity.  then we became friends with benefits because i still had a lot to learn and didn’t trust anyone else.  that may have been the plan but it doesn’t always go as expected.  at one point, something changed and it was too late.  ❜  he responded, holding myself back. mike didn’t want to go off and make things more complicated between them.  ❛  i know and i tried to but how was i not supposed to, andy?  huh?    ❜ 

the day was like any other, mike had gone to the gym for his workout. the playoffs were right around the corner. which meant that he had to be in his best shape as well as release the weeks tension. there was still a lot of tension and hostile between him and the rest of the team, thanks to Connor.  mike was so focused that he didn’t look around. it wasn’t until he was mid work out when he noticed silas. the bad boy was shirtless and lifting weights which made his muscles very apparent. the way they bulge and flex along with the sweat dripping down them. it was a sight enough to get mike’s mind running wild. mike could only imagine how they felt around him or pressed against him. how he would kiss and worship them. silas lifting him up and thrusting into hi-- he snapped out of it when someone started talking to him. it was his luck that connor was standing there with a smug smile making some comment. when he looked back at silas, the man was staring at them which made mike wonder if he had been too apparent. mike grabbed his stuff and ran out to his car where he poured his water on his face trying to pretend like didn’t have a raging hard on.

(   backstory & reasoning: mike isn’t even sure that silas is aware of this existent of this picture.  it was taken in secret by mike.  the place was an art gallery that his mom helped at. one of mike’s painting was put on display. the whole thing was kept hidden from his friends and anyone that knew him per mike’s request. it had been one of the activities that he had done that was recommended by his therapist. what was the painting?  two people sitting on the dock watching the sunset go down. what inspired it? it happened to be the last time that he and silas had seen each other or rather were friends. it was his last day before he departed for a year which made it much worse that he was there.  there were more questions than answers.  he wasn’t sure why Silas was there but Mike couldn’t help admire how handsome his former best friend looked. maybe that’s why it had been so difficult as feelings began resurfacing. Mike had been trying to gather the courage and strength to speak to him but couldn’t. it seemed that his entire family did speak to him except him. mike then proceeded to sneak a few drinks but when he did, silas was gone. although mike did find roses and a card from a unknown person on his car.  he never tried to figure out who was the person because in his mind, it was silas and mike didn’t want to ruin that thought.  )  

     ❛  thank you. ❜  mike should have expected stephen to care about him being cold. the heat to his body quickly returning.  he had to fight the urge of his old habit of wrapping his arm around him.  that privilege was gone since mike broke up with him.  his ex still not look at him which hurt even more than he thought it would.  ❛  maybe.. but you’ve never cared about what he thought.  you’ve always been respectful too and i think he hates that.  ❜  he avoid touching the subject of being boyfriend or telling stephen not to call him an asshole.  mike opens his mouth to say something else when a drunk couple comes stumbling out.  ❛  do you come inside and go somewhere more private where we can talk?  ❜ 

after graduating and being dumped, mike was a little lost in life.  he hadn’t been sure what he wanted to do. which is why he decided to go on a road trip to visit his sister in california. although along the way, he met a man whom offered him a job and place to stay. it wasn’t exactly what he was looking for but maybe exactly what he needed.  the farm life wasn’t easy but gave him a purpose. it wasn’t boring either and he very much enjoyed Seamus company. there was something there but neither seemed to make a move until it hit a boiling point. he wasn’t sure how it happened but mike found himself bent over with the man thrusting into him. mike failing to disclose that it was his first time but the man felt so good inside of him.  his hole clenching around him as it tried to adjust to his dick.  mike’s moans and scream filling the room along with the noise of slapping skin.  ❛  fuck.. i may never want to leave now.  ❜  he responded as he gripped tightly onto the sheets.  mike moving to meet the man’s thrust not wanting this moment to end.  ❛  i’m thankful you didn’t otherwise we wouldn’t be here.  ❜