"Here is our child who is very orderly and has very black and white patterns of thought and is a very picky eater, she was diagnosed with autism at four and we worked hard to make sure she was accommodated through her education because she is easily frustrated when she doesn't see the logic of a teacher's approach or thinks she's being treated unfairly. Sometimes it's a bit of a struggle with the food, but we work around it as a family."
"Our other kid is very bright and is neurotypical as far as we know, but is very stubborn and argumentative and insists on wearing one ratty old jacket every day and eating the same breakfast and lunch every day and has a sleep disorder and is messy and forgetful and always loses homework and has gotten in a few fights "defending" other kids, oh and is also dyslexic but we worked through that so they read about twenty novels a week so at least they're not getting into trouble at parties or anything, even if we are a bit frustrated that they keep failing math and science classes while getting high grades in everything else. They'd be such a good student if only they put in a little effort or paid attention."
worst cherry on the cake is having to go through the process twice because random doctor who wasn't an autism or neurodivergent specialist said "probably not" and then your mother says "hey, maybe it's just that you're a little weird". my cousin getting diagnosed suddenly, because his meltdowns hadn't been trained out of him by belief that you're just crazy. he didn't learn to mask and she is obviously struggling with some things because he hasn't been told that everything is fine. he wasn't gaslit by a medical professional.
and you think "oh great. I'm just weird. there's no reason for me to struggle or anything. all of my struggles are because I don't put in enough effort or pay any attention. I just suck". because no amount of "weird is good" is going to cure the problems you face every day because of disabling neurodivergence, and no one else seems to care or question this 👍
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