Miss Mischief

What must I do rather than wait inside my room as people flourish me with such gifts?

12/07/23

As the time of the year slowly ends and people celebrate, I've been here in Paris with my family. Visiting our other relatives have been very exhausting with the fact of them being so fake in front of my mother.

Money, money, money after money. Praises, praises, after praises. Haven't they flatter my parents enough? It makes me sick to my stomach. What's even worse is they keep spending such amount of money to impress me with such expensive gifts.

Those branded gifts could've been appreciated by my cousins that they neglected.

I just smile and accept those brands I never usually enter. Let alone wear. With their money, they could've done something useful for it. Give my cousin therapy after what they did.

I can't believe I have to gift these to my cousins in secret again. It is exhausting but seeing their smile in their faces is enough to make my day.

Luckily, my parents don't buy their act. They do agree they could've done something better with their time and luxury then flaunting into our doorstep, begging for money when they could've used their own.

Not to mention when I give my cousins such luxury, they secretly take it from them. Aren't they just greedy?! Haven't they have enough? Buy your own shit! Disgusting rats I say.

Now enough about relatives and lets shine about random people. I must say that my parents being a socialite helps me so much with connections, until they bring up their children trying to pair them with me.

Though, at least they know me well than our relatives. Skincare products? Chanel dresses? Birkins? Graff jewellery? I have to say, if I am gifted with these everyday I may marry their sons.

Well, if they behave of course. I may be born with luxury but I also need some warmth in my heart.

Ugh, Skincare. I love you with all my heart.

Now something is completely clear. Real friends notice each other's behaviour.

09/07/23

To whoever who reads this, a reminder, this is just how it feels. You may not know what I'm talking about but in deep observation or not even deep at all. You'll or you do understand how I feel.

No one I know that they talk to even entered the event. Why? possibly no one told them. Why? No one knows.

The clacking of the wine bottles hitting the stage is quite a scene to look at. Especially hitting the eyes of bored people. Poetic. In my eyes, yes, it is.

However, like my auntie said. "I thought they know you. Why would they avoid you?"

I try not to since I wanted to be a friend of theirs but then "If they were your friends in the first place then you didn't have to."

I know. I know that. Then I realized, How must my real old friends feel right now that I am away from them. Staying in our business house and studying for my course, keeping the family business alive. All the letters I received from them saying that they miss me.

Would my recent other so called 'friends' would do that? Would they know where to find me when I suddenly disappear?

In the hopes of tears falling from my eyes, I just felt anger to myself instead. Why even hang out with people who don't want to hang out with you? Genuinely?

My auntie did add "-If you're confident. You are bound to have enemies and when you have enemies, with wrong reason to hate you, you just got to leave and ignore them since that is how random people's mind work. They hate you, you hate them back, they get riled up. If they hate you, and you don't respond. They'll find themselves STUPID."

As she smokes her cigarettes before she hits the runway. Gosh, I wanted to be like her (except the smoking part, obvi).

I always wanted to be... just by myself until I find the right friends. I'll do that while I show my kindness. Kill them with it, perhaps? They're bound to fell apart anyways. I see it so brightly appealing.

The event made me feel stressed and bored because of the people surrounding me, so I bought a plaything to ease my emotions.

Clothes!

In a team group game, you should know who to root for. Me? I root for myself if no one will.

08/26/23

In a team group game, you should know who to root for in the end. In a team group game, the real objection for it in the end is to win. Pass the ball, drag enemies out, make plans, follow strategies.

In a world so random, be random.

All I could say I'm grateful yet guilty. I have to admit, I already knew a situation would this would come. Down. Down I say to the rabbit hole.

No one really cares about a life of nepotism, but in hidden sights, in underrated films, in gossips, in articles, isn't it interesting? Picking sides? Telling people on screens who's right and wrong. Screaming even just for them to follow your lead. Judging their choices as if we have the right to do so.

It may not make sense as I speak of this blind truth I could speak out but doesn't it satisfy to see your domino blocks fall to your creation?

In the end, I knew this particular situation won't spark. Predicting is magnificent How about now? What can a girl do? What can I do?

Root for myself as I see this game fall right unto their laps. I'm not there to play the game. I'm here to watch it as my entertainment like how people would.

Judgement.

Remember, as I see red fall down, in a grey world, we already know what that means.

Its bound to fall down. Trust me. Trust yourself.