Mirriky

So while doing some pirate research for the play I’m writing I stumbled upon one of the most amazing things I’ve ever read. In the 5th century A.D. there was a Scandinavian princess called Alwilda who’s father tried to set her up to marry Alf, the Prince of Denmark. Alwilda wasn’t cool with this so she and some female companions dressed as men, stole a ship, and sailed away. Eventually they met a company of pirates who were in need of a new captain and they were so captivated by her that they elected her as their new leader. Her crew became so infamous that Prince Alf was sent out to stop them. When their ships met he took Alwilda prisoner and she was so impressed by Alf’s skill that she agreed to marry him after all and eventually became the Queen of Denmark.

I stopped caring whether this was factually accurate about halfway through because it’s completely AWESOME.

Reblogging my old post for this A+ addition to it

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

@harrowhound

thank you! I couldn’t find that one in google!

These are all canon.

this is my favourite post

They’re updating their relationship status to “sworn brothers”

THE PRINCESS BRIDE ONE OH MY GOD

Something to keep in mind…. building muscle is so hard people compete to see who can do it best. If you’re a woman worried about “getting bulky”, i promise you that you cannot achieve that physique by accident. Now go lift weights to increase your bone density & protect yourself from osteoporosis and improve your insulin resistence and eat a fiber + protein dense meal with some carbs to refuel and fat for satiety + energy 🫵

trans women this goes double for you especially the part about eating 🫵 you are not immune to your bones becoming tapioca in your old age pick up the weights and the fork sister we’re all gonna build our new bodies if i have anything to say about it

turns out i am gay

holy shit how’d this alpaca learn how to type

Diversity win! The alpaca is gay!

he was a llama

A llama? He’s supposed to be DEAD!

Genuinely sat there teetering on the edge of a panic attack watching Keir Starmer talk about how banning kids from social media will "give them their childhoods back" because I can't stop thinking about what it was like to be a lonely scared kid who can barely leave the house but still find friends who are just as weird as you and see youtube videos where people talk about being gay and web series where girls kiss each other and love each other and gradually start feeling like that is less of a shameful thing to want and I do not think this turd of a man has ever had to think about that kind of shit in his life

The important thing to remember is that Starmer is bold-facedly laying. He's not "giving children their childhoods back", as he said. It's more like he's giving adult parents their ideas of what their children's childhoods should be back.

Stop saying Calvin and Hobbes it’s important to me that Calvin is six and not nine.

I take it the nine-year-old was literally driving the vehicle?

The nine-year-old was literally driving the vehicle after knocking the gear shift into Drive apparently by accident. Seven- and five-year-olds in the backseat. Nine-year-old knows in movies people stomp down on the thing on the floor and the car stops. He stomps. It is the gas.

I was talking about Sherlock Holmes with my cool weird 42 year old coworker the other day and he said that he had read other works by ACD but not any Sherlock Holmes. ACD is smiling down from heaven on his one and only true fan.