
⁂

Kiana Khansmith
Xuebing Du

titsay
Jules of Nature
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

★
cherry valley forever

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
occasionally subtle

#extradirty

Janaina Medeiros
will byers stan first human second
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Love Begins
ojovivo
hello vonnie
Peter Solarz

seen from Malaysia
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seen from Algeria

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seen from United States

seen from Singapore
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seen from United States
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seen from Malaysia
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seen from United States
@minthollywood

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i think the reason why the assassination of Julius Caesar is one of the funniest political assassinations is for this very simple reason:
1 guy stabs 1 guy: not funny. that's murder.
2 guys stab 1 guy: even less funny. that's two against one.
60 guys stab 1 guy: uproariously funny. why do you need so many guys.
60 guys only manage to stab the 1 guy 23 times: I can't fucking breathe I'm laughing too hard, you suck at this
sick post i just found online. sorry i couldnt find the source
if this gets more notes than the memedaddy repost it would be really funny actually
why does my mother suddenly fail kindergarten whenever she tries to do anything on the computer
I know she doesn't know what "the maximise button" is so I told her "click the square at the top right" and she clicked...the printer icon...in the middle of the toolbar. and I'm just like okay. this isn't a technology thing you are flunking basic shapes and directions. I'm turning off your computer and getting you a block puzzle. you have a master's degree
I keep fish and sometimes breed them (free fish hack). At the moment I have some beautiful fellows that are getting up there in age, so it's time to create more.
I separate all of my fish by their gendies as soon as you can possibly tell them apart to keep the population of my tanks where I want it, and to prevent inbreeding (and all of the complications that stem from that). These lads have effectively never seen a girl.
When I added the female to continue their legacy, they didn't know what to do. So they did what any respectable man might do in that confusing situation: ignored her and continued having sex with each other.
So preoccupied with one another are they that I'm honestly not sure if they will ever include her in any way that matters. Their bloodline ends with gay sex, and tbh, I kinda love that for them.
The g in lgbtq stands for guppy. 🌈
As if to mock me directly, they are now going out of their way to have sex in front of her while she just floats there like

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...are you ok
cant a girl be visibly distressed in peace
fuck it if i can’t have him! i might just die! it would make no difference!
fuck it if i can’t
have him! i might just die! it
would make no difference!
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Yes! This is exactly what I was referring to in the tags!
LMAOOOOO
my friend who is training to be a 911 operator just told me that they are having to restrain themself whenever responding to training calls from saying “that’s illegal people can’t do that” and I find that so fucking funny
For context

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The Will To Change by Bell Hooks fucked me up good
Actually most of words we use for sex are violent, not just fuck. My Marriage and Family professor pointed this out during my freshmen year of college and it’s stayed with me. Think about it…. bang, screw, hit it, pound, smash, rail, plow, pound, like our entire culture has tried to remove the concept of intimacy and vulnerability and emotion from sex by associating violent words with the action. The power of language on culture, perspective, and overall mindset is so incredible. We gotta be more careful and respectful of that.
Interestingly enough, the one term I can think of that isn’t violent, make love, is ridiculed in pop culture instead of used to create intimacy when talking about sex. I never considered that before. This whole post is food for thought.
Reblogging again for ^^this comment. I’d been thinking the same thing. You can say you had sex or fucked or banged but if you say you “made love” then you’re mocked as a naive, overly-romantic, teenage girl virgin or some other sexist bullshit.
I wonder what euphemisms are in other languages. I only know a few, but not well enough to write about them.
My cats have this meow that means "please come with me to fix this" after which they'll lead me to the problem in question, usually a empty (or 'empty') food bowl or a closed door they want open. They look at the 'problem', they look back at me, clear message.
What fascinates me is how this illustrates what they percieve as being in the realm of my 'power.' I control the food, I control the door, sure, but my cats love to sit on the balcony in the sun, and it has happened plenty of times that on a rainy day they come get me, go to the balcony and show me... the rain. "Please fix this" they say. "Please get rid of the wet"
"Silly kitty," I say, "I can't control the rain." I then walk into the shower and turn on the rain.
I hope this is a universal cat owner experience. Every single night he begs me to turn the sun back on so he can watch birds on the balcony. I tell him no, I cannot do that.
But I can turn lights on and off in the house and he's fairly certain I'm just not applying myself properly here.
You know damn well that can't just stay in the tags
a while ago I read this sci-fi short story from the 50s where a guy is kidnapped and interrogated by aliens using a very sophisticated lie detector, but he realizes that the lie detector works off technical truth, and with some careful phrasing and misdirection, he manages to make them believe that humans are a race of immortal, overpowered, omniscient telepathic beings. and it works.
my favorite part is when he tells them that humans are "capable of transportation without the aid of spaceships or any vehicles, just by using mental power to control physical matter". it's true, we can. it's called walking.
okay I found it, it's The Best Policy by Randall Garrett
and it has other gems such as "I know beyond a shadow of a doubt what every member of my race thinks of you" (they don't know you exist) and "every human knows exactly as much about the location of your home planet as I do" (nothing)

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“I told myself if I ever won a Grammy and I got to stand up here in-front of the most powerful people in music, I would demand that labels and the industry profiting millions of dollars off artists would offer a liveable wage and healthcare, especially to developing artists… labels we got you, but do you got us?”- Chappell Roan during her GRAMMYS acceptance speech.
She. is. EVERYTHING