I hate when people ask me “what did you do today?” like buddy listen I woke up at noon and then it was five pm okay I don’t kn o w

You ever eat something you should NOT have and immediately beg for God’s forgiveness?

This post screams lactose intolerance

honestly adding a dog pic to a post about eating things you shouldn’t have is incredibly fitting

why is this so fucking funny 

it’s a joke

Gotta make em laugh so they forget you ugly

Will Smith I’m sorry I said your genie was the scariest blue cgi nightmare I’d see this year. I was wrong…I was very wrong.

i have this crazy urge to txt you cause i miss you so much but then i remember you probably don’t miss me at all.

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions

yes I am fully aware that I’m The Worst™ but I still wanna be like……. loved and stuff

April 15th is some kind of “doom date”. The Notre Dame fire, the Tiannamen Square massacre, the Boston Bombings, and the sinking of the Titanic all occur on April 15th.

some of you never woke up after heart transplant surgery and discovered that your boyfriend, zayn malik, had been the donor and it shows

BUT THEIR HARMONIES ARE SO PERFECT AND IT COMES TO THEM SO EFFORTLESSLY AND THEIR TIMING IS PERFECT NONE OF THEM ARE OFF BY THE TEENIEST BIT AND THEY’RE ALL IN PERFECT SYNC AND SING WITH ALL THEIR HEART AND U CAN TELL BY THE LOOKS ON THEIR FACES HOW FOCUSED THEY ARE AND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS TO THEM AND I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEY HAVE THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD BECAUSE THEY GET TO DO WHAT MAKES THEM HAPPY AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY AS HECK

I could listen to this for the rest of my life

this is also high atop the list of the best they’ve ever looked collectively.