amster

“ Trade my whole life just to be ,,

the music blaring through the speakers, the room dimly lit with led lights. i sip on my drink as i watch her. she’s got men hanging off her arm everywhere, she’s walked so far.

i grip my cup tighter and furrow my brows.

i’m not sure why she hasn’t noticed me yet. i’ve devoted so much time to coming out. hours of my life i could use to study, sleep or even get a real relationship are gone.

why? because why not? she’s gone for everyone but me like she’s avoiding me.

a nudge came to my shoulder suddenly and shocked me a bit. when i glance to the side i see jungkook looking at her as well.

“like what you see over there or what?” he lets out a chuckle before turning to me. i roll my eyes before responding.

“my eyes just wander..” i finally put my cup down and fidget with my large rings.

“wandering? uh huh.. so what’s the deal?” he goes on before i can answer. “you gotta a crush? in love? tryina get to know her or something? she’s not into that stuff ya know-“

“ We don't gotta be in love, no ,,

“what? dude i’m not into her like that!” i run my hand through my permed hair. fully facing my friend now, i see she’s moved from her spot and is a bit closer now. “i just want a good fuck, that’s all..” i watch as he rolls his eyes and laughs like i’m crazy.

“you finally returning back to the playboy life style?” he played with his lip piercing as he smiled. i sigh and glance at my cup.

“i guess so.. Chelsea cheated on me with some dude from the football team,” i squeeze my empty cup and threw it to the side.

“oh shit, she basically slept with the enemies? that’s wild.. basketball ain’t enough for here i guess.” he shrugs and pats my back. “y/n is a pretty good fuck, go for it if that’s what you really want.. but be careful, she eats men alive!” he let out a loud laugh as if what he was saying was oh-so-hilarious.

“ give me tough love ,,

“haha.. so funny, fucker” i raise my fist as if i were going to actually punch him but before i could move my hand back, i felt a touch.

“kook? a fucker? a damn good one honestly!” a female voice was all i heard before i began to mentally panic. jungkook was no help with that stupid smirk on his face watching me try my best to play it cool. “whatcha up to koo?” she moved away from me and went to stand beside him.

“just talkin with taetae, you know him right?” he smiled at me like the little maniac he is and turned her head to me.

“of course i know him, deep voice? constant fuck me eyes?” she looked me up and down while sucking on a lollipop. “where’s your girl? it’s a bit scandalous to be caught 5 feet near me, much less talking to me” she bit into the lollipop as jungkook put his arm around her waist. i could honestly feel my eye twitch a bit.

“scandalous? yeah but me and my girl are over, so i’m free to do what i want.” i shrugged, i feel like i might need a new drink before i start messing with my rings awkwardly.

“ ‘i’m free to do what i want’ aww were you locked away or something? need mommy to give you a blanket or a binky.” her laugh was rich. even though she was making fun of me, a part of me didn’t care. i watched her giggle when jungkook told her to apologize. “sorry sorry, honestly it was a bit funny! i heard you were some top dog playboy and you let her lock you up like that? all for what, hm?” her eyes lowered when she put a smirk on her face. i was speechless but i really need to keep it cool.

“dunno, thought id play the good golden boy role for a while, kinda boring though.” i shrugged again. this time she let go of jungkook.

“is that so.. interesting.” was all she said after nodding towards the stairs. without even waiting for me, she waltzed her way through the crowd.

“ my kind of love ,,

i ditched jungkook to try and catch up to her. as i shuffle through the crowd and look around, i see so many familiar faces.

i can feel myself getting dizzy with the flashing lights, loud music, and the drinks starting to kick in. i finally made it to a secluded area beneath the stairwell and there she was. the lollipop was long gone now, her face looked bored almost.

“oh? you actually followed me?” she quirked her perfect brow. the dim lighting making her aura seem dangerous. “i didn’t expect you to really come with, but since you’re here you should come a bit closer no?” as she waved me over, i noticed she had white polish on her nails. seemed unusual for someone who seems so impure to have pure white as their nail color.

“why wouldn’t i come?” i stepped closer to her and evidently backing her up to a wall. i watched as her eyes looked me over repeatedly, licked her upper lip, and shrug. “do you really think i’m some sorta punk? what do you even think of me?”

“maybe you should prove you aren’t a punk..” she looked over at a door that seemed to be cracked open and looked back at me with a devilish smirk upon her gorgeous face.

SATURDAY

unknown

we are here to inform you of your boyfriends passing

jeon jungkook

it is truly unfortunate but will you be attending the funeral?

me

omg are you serious?

i’ll attend but he’s not my boyfriend..

unknown

yes you are

it says so in his letter he left

me

oh.. well ig i can attend as his gf

:(

he passed too soon, maybe we could’ve been

i’ll miss him rip.. <3

unknown

do you mean it🥺

me

what..

omfg.

jeon jungkook.

unknown

he has risen!!!!!

Y/N has blocked this number.

koo pookie🤢

DID U MEAN IT?🥺🥺🥺🥺

me

fuck u

koo pookie🤢

🥺🥺🥺🥺

me

i’ll block you stop

koo pookie🤢

but did u

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

me

..

not anymore

koo pookie🤢

PLEASE NO WAIT

I SENT FLOWERS

TO HE HOUSE PLS ACCEPT

UR*

Y/N BABE NO

me

leave me alone

i’m out rn

koo pookie🤢

with who

doing what

can i join

me

who

what

no?

it’s bestie night

koo pookie🤢

🤬

are u joking

hwllo

i’m so sick rn

i’m crying

i might die frl this time

me

#awesome ✌️

koo pookie🤢

not funny

please

i’ll do anything

me

stop texting me

koo pookie🤢

i love you

me

don’t say that

koo pookie🤢

bet jimin doesn’t love u

me

okay

koo pookie🤢

😕 let’s not fight

let me join

me

no???

koo pookie🤢

ur actually sick wtf

i’m sending you uber eats

me

oh?

koo pookie🤢

ordering your fav

we can even see the barbie movie

i swear

me

okay

i don’t have a ride home besides jimin so i’ll be a while

koo pookie🤢

no i’ll come get you

me

no???

u need to get the food???

koo pookie🤢

omw already

too late

me

you lie a lot

koo pookie🤢

i’d never lie to you

me

you held a fake funeral??

koo pookie🤢

besides that

never

i

love u

me

i like you

koo pookie🤢

PROGRESS?!

me

MID WINTER 2020

“hey youuu,” i delivered a poke to my boyfriend. he seemed to be working on something but i wasn’t sure.

“heeey you,” he responded back whilst turning around to trap me in his arms.

“i’ve been meaning to ask..what’s your type? ya know the kinda chick you like to go after?”

i’ve been a bit curious about that for a while. i wondered why he picked me and not someone else. in the past when i was younger, my best friends were always chosen over me. maybe they were prettier, slimmer, less squeaky voices or whatever the reason was.. it was just never me. so i thought that maybe if i knew what his type of girl was then i can adjust myself accordingly.

that sounds horrible possibly but i don’t want to lose him to another woman. i was always the last ever option and i’ve finally found the one who actually picked me this time. so i was desperate to please his every will.

“my type of girl..?” he rubbed his chin and let me free. he didn’t ponder long as his eyes made contact with mine. “honestly.. you changed my type completely!” he gave a lazy grin and leaned forwards to plant a kiss on my stomach as i stood before him.

“i’m serious here!” i huffed and backed away while holding my stomach from view.

“so am i!” he pouted but continued. “i had a type and then i met you and something about you just pushed all that out the window!” he seemed somewhat flustered. his eyes were sparkling, his shaggy hair unstyled tonight, flushed cheeks and he idly scratched behind his ear.

mindlessly staring at him in complete silence. my heart fluttered again.

“i love you, yoongi.”

he blinked but didn’t miss a beat when replying back. “i love you way more.”

LATE DECEMBER 2020

“i think we should break up..” he said as he looked off into the distance. his facial expression was unreadable.

“what?” i blinked, my face was blank. i didn’t know what was happening in my brain. he was just telling me he loved me last night and now we’re breaking up.

“i just think that now that my dad has come back into my life, you know how bad he is and it’s fucking with my mental health.. i don’t want to take it out on you? so i think we should just break up.” luckily he still didn’t look my way or else he would’ve seen the tears welling up in my eyes. my heart felt like it was suddenly empty.

“yeah i get it, understandable.. i hope your mental health gets better soon.” i blink the tears away before he glanced at me for the first time since this conversation started.

“yeah.. i’ll see you around.” his gaze lingered only for a second before he turned away.

“of course.. always and forever, yoongi.”

FRIDAY

the storm is picking up but i walked out any way. i’m not in the mood to talk with him right now but he’s still following me any way.

“come back y/n, i didn’t mean that—“

“kook it’s enough okay, i’m done with whatever you and i have going on.” i continue walking without turning back. a curse was muttered under his breathe as he caught up to me.

“i’m serious about loving you but fuck y/n i wanna give you the world and it’s hard when you’re so prickly all the time.. please just hear me out—“ his eyes were all round and glossy like he’d cry but so will i. we had a big fight over his jealousy again.

“get the hell out of my face, kook.. i know i’m not perfect but you brought up my ex? fuck all that love bullshit alright. you’ve played in my face enough already! i can’t believe i almost- mmh” shutting my mouth was my last option as jungkook grabbed my face and held me in place.

“oh baby.. i wouldn’t have dared bring him up if i knew he still effected you this much. shit- i’m just- i just—“ he threw his head back and let my face go.

“the damage is done already, i get it. this little love game you tried to play was cute.. but i’m outta here, kook.” he brings his gaze back to me and a tear threatens to leave his eye but he sucks it up. “don’t text me, yeah?” i walk around him without another word.

unfortunately, the sound of running is heard in my ears again. this time i feel a warm jacket get out over my head, it’s obviously jungkooks but i don’t turn around.

“y/n.. please just listen to me, just this once and it’s whatever you want after.” after he said that, i slowly turn around to see him getting drenched in the rain. hair soaked, white shirt turning see through and the rain sliding down his face.

“you have seven minutes.”

“look, i’m serious abt loving you. i get it that it’s not your thing but i mentioned your ex because of how he did you and i just thought my point of me being the one to treat you better would stand stronger that way. fuck i just- i was an in the moment thought and i didn’t think it through.. i’ve just been saying anything loosely around you lately! i cant hide how i feel but it’s hard to know you’re constantly pushing me out and seeing you as much as i do.. it just breaks me but i’m willing to do anything for you. i wear my heart on my arm for you and only you.. but i’m sorry for mentioning that guy. whatever you want now.. i’ll respect it.” he looks to the side and sighs a deep sigh.

something about seeing his this vulnerable just sting a bit. thinking about walking away from him hurts, more than it should but maybe it’s because of all he’s done for me so far.

i open mouth just to close it. we stood there in complete silence as the rain continued to pour.

“..oh come here baby.” that’s all i say before i wrap my arms around him. a silent sign of some forgiveness. he wraps his arms around me and shields me from the stormy weather.

“i’ll give you a chance.. if that’s really all you want from me, koo.” barely above a whisper but he heard it anyway.

“that’s all i’ve been asking.. love you y/n.”

“anything for you, kookie”

THURSDAY

i’m not sure how i got here.

maybe it’s because i didn’t eat much last night? or maybe i was running around in the heat with nothing to eat. whatever it maybe, it got me to this position today.

“check his pulse!”

“he’s alive just passed out!”

“get him on the stretcher asap, this heat isn’t good for him!”

ah that’s right, someone called the ambulance..

as they pulled me along, i finally opened my eyes a bit. questions were being thrown at me left and right. i turned my head side to side to try and make sense of who is saying what but it’s all a blur.

everything became clearer once i spotted a cropped knitted sweater, i’ve seen it many nights ago but i can recognize it any where. i quickly began unbuckling my seat belt.

i didn’t care about the paramedics yelling at me to return or the people staring at me with their mouths agape. i was dead set on catching up to her.

“hey sir! those flowers!” i shouted as i took out some money to pay the man for the bouquet. i kept running even as i snatched up the flowers.

i finally caught up to y/n. she was about to turn the corner but i stopped her just in time.

“you walk-“ i had to catch my breath a little. “so fast for someone who has no where to be..” i then remembered the flowers and shoved them into her chest. i watched as her face light up with what seemed to be genuine appreciation but then it fell just as soon as it came.

“what’s this for..?” she asked me while examining the flowers like they were something foreign. she looked cute while doing it, her hair and makeup today were light. i see she opted to really show off her natural hair type. unfortunately i think i took too long to respond because she snapped her fingers at me. “helloooo, earth to jungkook-“

“it’s koo, you know that,” i pouted at the usuage of my proper name.

“not the point, i asked what these are for?” she raised an eyebrow and tilted her head.

“well i wanted to apologize about yesterday.. maybe i was overreacting about namjoon, not jimin though! but you get what i’m sayin.”. i rubbed the back of my neck nervously and avoided eye contact with her. when i did look at her, she seemed at a lose for words. i don’t enjoy apologizing to anyone and she knows that, i prefer to think i’m somewhat right and move on.

“oh well.. thank you koo, that’s very thoughtful of you.. i—“ i quickly cut her off and smiled brightly.

“i love you too y/n!”

“not what i was going to say jeon.” she narrowed her eyes to a glare.

“you thought it though!” maybe i’m delusional or straight up insane but i saw something change in the way she looked at me.

“fuck you.” she walked around me but i followed behind her.

“that’d be hot.” i smirked as i put an arm around her waist.

“i’m not letting you fuck me anymore.. you’re so annoying,” she said with a roll of her gorgeous eyes. her pretty lashes fluttered as she did so.

“whaaat why not, you should totally lemme hit it, especially from the back because—“

“shut up!” she covered her ears but never pushed me away.

WEDNESDAY

 how embarrassing..

in the middle of a laundromat you and jungkook were having an argument. This possibly is one of your first arguments since you guys have started your agreement to being friends with benefits. 

but you may be wondering why you guys are arguing and it’s because of the fact that jungkook had an issue with you hanging out with namjoon.

namjoon is a mutual friend of you and jungkook. you and namjoon share a lot in common especially after having the same college classes. jungkook is younger than you but he lied about being older than you, so that is how you guys ended up even becoming friends in the first place. the rest is history.

“jungkook you have to get over it, so what!” you raised your voice a bit as you shoved some of your clothes into a washing machine.

”are you joking? he was flirting with you and took you to a couples spot!” jungkook frowned sitting upon a table in front of your washing machine. many heads were turning at first but quickly minded their business after a while.

“he wasn’t flirting, he just explained the pieces of art to me, what’s the big deal?”

“the big deal is that you ignored me the whole time i was there!” he huffed.

“you’re so childish.. such a fucking man child, why do i even bother with you!” you move to another machine and take some clothes out to fold up. it isn’t your intention to hurt jungkooks feelings or anything but you just feel like he’s being a bit annoying. you’re grown, you can tell of someone is flirting or not. besides, namjoon is like an older brother to you so that’s be weird.

“childish? come on babe.. you wouldn’t say that if i was balls deep in you right now-“

“jeon jungkook!” you quickly cut in.

“i’m just saying that you’re wayyy nicer to me when you got your little afterglow high,” he leaned on the folding table and watched you aggressively fold some shirts.

“this is why your dick will shrivel up and die..” you hugged under your breath.

“it won’t if you lemme hit!”

“no!”

“but on a serious note y/n.. namjoon was definitely flirting! it’s like the time you, me and jimin we to six flags!” jungkook moved around the table to try and make more eye contact with you.

“namjoon wouldn’t flirt with me..jungkoo—“

“stop saying my first name like you’re mad at me,” he pouted as he turned you towards him.

“like i said he wasn’t flirting and jimin flirts with anything that can move so that isn’t special.” you shoved him back a bit to make more room and he stumbled.

“if that’s the case lemme take you out? like on a date you know?” he follows you around the laundromat like a puppy. it’s a bit cute but right now you’re still annoyed at how protective he’s trying to be over you.

“i’ll think about it when cats can fly..” your moved around him as he sighed. this obviously isn’t stopping him at all.

“y/n bae come onn, i can take you to a much nicer place than namjoon did,” he was begging for a chance at this point. he wasn’t the type to beg for anything but when it came to you, he had no shame. especially recently.

“you know i love you so much right, y/n?” he got on the floor and looked up with puppy dog eyes.

hm, did your heart skip a beat? you aren’t sure.

“you don’t love me, you love a good fuck.” with a roll of your eyes, you continued off with your task.

“i love you and the way you fuck!”

“leave me alone jungkook!”

TUESDAY

the sound of train tracks were muffled, people snoring and babies crying were all you could hear. you were sat in silence trying to wrap your head around your current predicament.

yeah, you have been actively ignoring his text messages since monday night but you weren’t going to deny that you did feel a flutter when he took you to dinner. maybe you were just hungry and him paying for the meal was what caused that light fluffy feeling.

as you continue to think over the even you hear a tap at a window but you don’t pay any attention until you finally look up after the 4th tap. a shocked expression was planted upon your face.

there he was. the man you’ve been dreading to see since last night. jeon jungkook was hanging off the side of the train as he was struggling a bit to hang on.

he’s a maniac! a true lunatic!!

he seemed to be singing his heart out while he hung on for dear life. you rolled your eyes and moved from your seat. you tried making you way to another car but it seems as though jungkook had quickly made his way to the door and was waiting there as if he wasn’t swinging off a train mere seconds ago.

“jesus christ koo, you could’ve died just now!” you raised your voice. it seemed he wasn’t listening because he grabbed your hand as he moved passed you.

“so where are you going? you’ve been dodging my texts all day and i didn’t see you at your normal spot this morning,” jungkook rambled a bit as he sat down in an empty seat row. he pulled you down beside him and put an arm over your shoulders.

“how did you get here jk..?” you had an eyebrow raised and arms crossed over your chest. “actually i don’t wanna know, but i’m on my way home from a long case.”

“whaat, i could’ve taken you with my car ya know! you never told me about this case either..” his big eyes searched your face for god knows what.

“i don’t need to tell you that koo, it’s not your concern..” you shrugged his arm off your shoulder and shockingly he let it slide off. your heart felt like it was going to explode if he kept his arm there but things are always too good to be true. his hand landed on your thigh and rubbed lightly against the soft fabric of your pants.

“you don’t have to but i like knowing things about you..” he pouted and laid his head upon you shoulder.

“you’re so nosy for someone who isn’t my man.. jeez,”

“so let me be your man!”

a few people glanced over which in turn caused you to try and hide yourself using jungkooks large figure.

“koo you’re so loud, people are looking..!” you whisper-yelled.

“so what? i’d rather let everyone know i want you than hide it.” he smiled and kissed your forehead.

“you’re impossible.. just go away okay,”

“i’ll go away if you come with me—“

“that defeats the purpose! fuck off already kook.”

MONDAY

“what’s good on the menu?” jungkook rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he did a poor job of deflecting the questions being thrown at him by the beautifully dressed woman.

“you know what’s good? if you’d answer why you took me to this restaurant..” Y/n huffed as she flipped through the menu with an irritated expression. jungkook peaked over the top of the menu with large round eyes, admiring her.

she looks gorgeous but she looks gorgeous all the time!

“well i brought you here because you said you were hungry, right?”

“yeah but mac donald’s would do..this seems a bit pricey- $30 FOR PASTA?!” the woman chocked on her words. “fuck jk this is crazy..” she closed the menu and glanced at him with a worried look.

“it’s all good, baabe! i got you covered,” he smiled and reached out to lay his hand on hers. she stared thoughtlessly at the hand before they waiter arrived to take their orders. they both have their orders and waited a few minutes before the food arrived.

“soo how’s you food?” jungkook spoke with a smile.

“it’s pretty mid for such a pretty restaurant..” she held back a giggle as jungkook agreed with her. “so, tell me the real reason you brought me here besides a bland meal,”

“well i wanted to take you on a proper official date!” jungkook beamed. he continued to gaze lovingly at her.

“a what..”

“a date! are you going deaf or what?” he giggled.

“fuck kook.. no way,” she rolled her eyes and sighed. “you know that our thing is supposed to be no feelings involved.” a frown was thrown upon her face but jungkook reached over and punched her cheek. “i’ll pay you back for the dinner koo but i’m not doing this.. i cant do this.” she stood up quickly and gathered her things.

“what do you mean you can’t? do i have to ask your parents for approve or what?” jungkook quicklt stood up as well and followed the woman as she began walking away but not before he put some money down to pay for the meal.

“fuuck koo, i’m just- i don’t know maybe it’s because you’re just not my type in a relationship?” she quickly stormed away towards side walk.

“hell is that supposed to mean?!” jungkook raided his voice a bit.

“i don’t know, you’re so childish—“

“am not!”

“you so are! you know what actually i’ll call an uber, call me when you wanna fuck and not try to romance me..” she pulled her phone out and began clicking away but not soon after, jungkook snatched the phone away and walked over to his car.

“even if you’re upset, don’t call an uber.. just let me take you home.” jungkook smiled and opened the passenger side door.

“oh jungkook..” y/n frowned as she walked up and sat in the seat. jungkook leaned down and kisses her forehead before giving her phone back.

“anything for you” he smiled for the umpteenth time that night.

“don’t say that, make it sound like you’re in love with me or something..” she faked a gagging sound and pointed to her tongue

“but i am!”

THE BEGINNING sunday

moans we’re echoing off the wall, filthy sounds of skin slapping skin can be heard coming from the bedroom.

laid out on the bed was jungkook and Y/n. his thrust were hard and fast causing her to shift up the bed a bit, however they were both on the edge.

just as jungkook was about to bust his load his grunts a loud. “i love you so fucking much,”

the statement settled in the air as both him and y/n reach their high and he collapsed onto the poor woman. the sentence was pooling in her head as she watched the boy on her chest close his eyes and smile.

“jungkook.. what. the. fuck?!” the woman underneath him pushed him with all her strength. he was much larger than her so it was a sad effort but to please her, he pulled out and rolled over. confusion was written all over his face as she glared daggers at him. his large eyes made him seem oh-so innocent in the moment as if he didn’t fuck her brains out.

“what was that!” y/n raised her voice.

“i busted a nut..?” jungkook replied with a head tilt.

“not what i’m talking about you dickhead, what the fuck do you mean ‘i love you so fucking much’?!” y/n scowled and sat up. she scooted away from the man who tried reaching out to cuddle her.

“well yeah, i fucking love you so much!” his smile was wide and bunny like as he sat up as well. “do you not love me so fucking much too?” he began playing with his lip piercings.

“jeon jungkook-“

“yessss?”

“get the fuck outta my house”

jungkook pouted and began dressing himself. “i won’t give up, trust me! i’ll get you to love me” he said in passing as he shuffled around for his shoes.

“why are you still here..” the woman narrowed her eyes at him.

“i’ll break that cold heart of yours in no time, just seven days”

•

THE BEGINNING

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

THE END