Lena Lovell

“All passengers must be off board during this port, all passengers off board including staff” airs through the cabin. But we’re gone from the world, fast asleep. It’s not until an hour later I come around, feeling a pinching in my hip “ooh” I whisper as I give my hip a little rub. “Mm, baby, you awake?” I ask, shaking Louise a little. “Lena” she whispers, turning back to me.

“How on earth have you got milk over the middle of the bed” she laughs and I look down, not knowing what she means “I didn’t?” I shake my head “I’ve just been sleeping.. I..” I stop and look down at my shorts, seeing the dampness. “Fuck” I mutter as I try to stand, but I double over with a sharper pain, moaning out through my teeth.

“Lena? What is it?” She asks rushing to my side. “It’s too early” I shake my head “it’s not time” I tear up. “You’re okay.. you’re okay, are you sure it’s time?” She asks and I nod “I can feel it” I say as I tye my hair back “pressure.. different pressure” I admit as I go back to the bed.

“Right, call the medical centre, deck 4” I demand as I try finding some clothes to throw on between laboured breaths. “There’s no answer” Lou sighs “I’ll go out and get someone” she says calmly “we’re meeting our baby” she grins as she heads out.

“You know.. your mommy’s right, we’re meeting you soon” I grin as I sit down, circling my belly with my right hand. “Ohh, you little monkey” I sigh as I feel a contraction building “mmmmm” I hum as I try getting past it, but the intensity is far worse than I expected. “Hooo hoo hooo” I moan trying to catch my breath.

Louise goes as I get through four contractions and when she gets back, she finds me on all fours, panting, sweating, trying to find some sort of pattern. “Where the fucking hell have you been?!” I mutter, furiously. “Baby, I can’t find a single human on this cruise” she says knowing it’ll panic me. But I just shake my head “I know this baby is coming out soon, you have to help me”. “I.. I don’t know how to deliver a baby” she shakes her hands a little as I start to undress, leaving my swollen labia show as I flap my legs to the sides “oh god that’s so much better” I sigh as the throbbing calms.

“I will talk you through, listen to me before the contraction goes” I start before explaining everything I know. “It’s back” I mutter, grabbing her hand and letting out noises I never knew I could make “Mah!!” I cry out as I shake my head, bucking my hips a little towards her. I reach down and take her index, placing it on my clit, knowing if there’s any relief to get it’s that.

She follows my lead and I feel her starting to circle the area, the pleasure mixed with the pressure is something I’ve never felt before. “Keep going” I whisper through tears. “Don’t stop” I demand as I feel myself getting wetter.

“I..” she starts as I see her eyes widen “you’re opening, you’re like.. stretching” she says, gazing between my legs. I take that as my cue and start to bear down, holding my breath and pressing my chin to my chest. “I..” I mutter, trying to speak as I push for the first time. “Just concentrate on pushing baby” Lou whispers and nod, holding it as long as I can before letting go and trying to catch my breath. “Hooo” I moan out, feeling exhausted already.

“Good girl..” she smiles, wiping my forehead a little with her hand. “Slowly but surely” she says softly as I feel her run her fingers around the crown that’s still not even through. “Still there?” She asks, referring to the contraction that’s definitely dying down. I shake my head and motion for a drink, feeling for a straw with my mouth as I shut my eyes.

“I didn’t know it would be this intense” I shake my head, running my hands over my bump, sad that it’s going to be empty soon. “Here it comes..” I mumble as I pull my feet up as hard as I can, bearing down with every bit of energy I have, feeling myself widen with every second “head?” I ask and she grins, peeking down at me.

“How do I-“ I mutter as I grip my thigh tightly, pulling harder as I let the other leg go, feeling the stretch intensifying as I let a strained grunt out. “Okay, easy easy..” Lou encourages me. “Next push is going to be the crown, get ready okay baby?” She says softly. At this point I’m just taking every second between pushing to breathe and shut my eyes, but I start to feel all of this pressure.

“I.. too much” I shake my head, scrambling to stand. The second I land on my feet, an explosion of water gushes out and my knees buckle. “Okay, okay, I’ve got you” she whispers as she lowers me onto my knees. “Ahhhhhh” I cry out, pushing on all fours “get out!” I sob feeling like there’s no way this baby is going to come out of me.

“Stay still” she says as she starts to try and manoeuvre, my teeth almost breaking as I bite down so hard. “Now!” She shouts as I let go and let out the biggest howl I’ve ever let out, feeling myself finally give birth. “Baby, baby, please” I pant as I reach down to the most perfect little crying girl.

“I can’t believe how strong you are” Louise smiles, wiping my face down with a spare towel. “Hi, I’m your Momma” she whispers, kissing baby’s forehead. But I just know something is happening, I know that my body is doing something. “Milkies?” I whisper as I latch baby onto my nipple. “I.. I don’t know what’s happening” I shake my head, feeling around myself to see why there’s so much pressure.

“Google placenta contractions..” I say quietly as I feel a hardness “and type in are they hard..” I say as I try to get a full feel. I see Louise’s eyes widen as she reads and I nod “I fucking said it was twins! Didn’t I? Did I not?” I laugh a little and hand over baby “I can do this, just be with her, love her” I say as I get up onto the bed, Lou sitting next to me with our new addition.

“Okay.. baby number two.. you need to help Mommy now..” I whisper to myself “please don’t be as chaotic as your sister” I laugh. Louise is just besotted and I watch her for a moment until I feel the cramping. “No panicking Lena..” I whisper as I widen my legs a little, still comfortable on the bed and under the duvet.

“Nnggh” I cry a soft little moan as I push, gently but firmly. “Hhnngg” I moan again, feeling over my bump to try and gauge where I’m at. “Hoo hoo hoo” I try and shake my head “doesn’t work” I groan as I try to rub my clit a little. “Yess..” I whisper as I feel movement, pushing through my gritted teeth.

“Hi..” I whisper as I catch a feeling of the head “gotcha” I smile, turning to Lou for approval. “I’m in awe of you, both of you” she smiles, tears running down her cheeks. “Hurting” I mutter as I try to lean more to one side “they’re bigger..” I say softly as I look to Lou. “Oh.. oh here comes” I whisper as I start to push, gripping onto Lou’s jeans “gaaah!” I squeal.

I see Lou’s eyes change as I start panting and barely making a sound, she puts baby next to me and moves the blanket off me, to have full view of the head coming out of me. “You’ve got this, you can do it” she coaches me as I pant, pushing small pushes to help baby down. “More” she guides as I pull a leg back gently “haahhhh!” I scream as I feel the head pop out.

“You’re amazing” she smiles “just the shoulders now Mamma, I love you so much” she smiles with encouragement. “I love you too, always” I smile, taking her hand as I bear down one last time, seeing her catch the baby. “Woah, he’s a chunk” she grins. “He?!” I smile, reaching my arms out to take him.

“Ready?” I sigh as we head out to the car. Luckily, my wife and I have a whole area on the back row and I look at her with a sigh “I don’t know why I agreed to the obituary” I say as I rub my bump in small circles. “You’ll be amazing, you always are” she smiles.

The journey is short and sweet but as we get to the roundabout, there’s a fuss from up front. “Wo-woahhh!” The driver shouts before we all get jolted back, jerking our bodies forward as the seatbelts pull us back. My heart jumps into my throat as I feel my body being tugged and thrown. “Baby!” My wife shouts as she turns to me, checking straight away on my facial expression. “I-I’m fine, I’m fine, are you?” I ask and she nods “I’m okay.. baby okay?” She asks and I rub softly feeling a little kick and I nod “baby’s fine”.

“Everyone okay?” The driver asks and everyone is fine, but when he gets out, he sees that all of the bonnet is crushed. “Okay, I need to order a taxi for all of you, on us obviously” he sighs heading off to call them and I look at my phone checking the time “we have twenty minutes”. “It’s a ten minute walk, can we just get there? Madge?” My wife asks my Nan and she nods but I feel the heaviness in my body grow. “Baby, I don’t know” I say quietly and she nods “okay, let’s see the taxi times”.

“They won’t be here for another twenty” he explains. I just get out of the car and start walking, knowing we have no choice. “Lena!” my wife, Blair calls and I look back “come on” I sigh.

The walk is quick but painful and I feel movements in places I haven’t felt them before. We get there with a few minutes spare and I find the nearest bench, sitting straight away and putting my hair up. “I like your hair down” Gran sighs and I shake my head “too hot” I mutter. “Baby, do you need water? Anything?” Blair asks and I just shake my head. “Back rubs” I say softly letting her give me some love.

“Family?” The director addresses and I look to Blair “I need a minute, you go in..” I sigh and know I have to go in. “Come on I’ve got you” she says holding her hand out. I stand up and as I do I feel my inner thighs warm up under my dress. “My waters” I mutter, grabbing the bench “My waters just broke” I whisper and they are met with so much pain in my back, I find myself bent over the bench taking long deep breaths.

“Not now baby, not now” I whisper. “Lena! Blair! Come on” Gran demands and I look to Blair pleading for help. “Right, let’s get you in there, I know you’d kill me if I let you leave” she sighs as she supports my back, guiding me in.

We are the champions by queen plays on the speakers as I walk towards the front row, passing people who notice the flushed colour of my skin and sweat droplets on my forehead. “Let me help” Blair whispers as we get to the seats and it’s a good thing she helps because I couldn’t have got down on my own.

The service is nice and luckily, the contractions are slow and I’m able to breathe quietly through them, but one hits so hard that all I feel I can do is open my legs a little and cry so I can let some frustration out, normal in a funeral I guess. “And Lena has some words to say..” the director announces. Shit.

I fumble up to the top, standing in front of the room filled with hundreds of friends, family and acquaintances of my Grandfather. Clearing my throat as I open the paper I start to talk. “My Grandfather would be over the moon with the turn out, he always said that-“ I start well but the pain comes over me like a wave. “He said that-“ I start and find my hands gripping the stand. “He-“ I mutter before I just buckle, my knees give out and I find myself being caught by the director as he lowers me to the ground.

“I’m here, sweetheart, I’m here” my wife announces as she gets to the front. The pain is making me pant uncontrollably and I’m not keeping it a secret anymore. “Do the speech” I mutter to her and she shakes her head “do it, please” I cry as I lean against a wall, panting and shaking.

She stands and delivers, better than I probably would have. Everyone is distracted anyway, by me, legs parted, sweating and panting, slightly covered by the coffin. The final music starts and I look up, seeing people leave, trying to catch a glance of what I’m doing. “I’m here, I’m here” she states as she comes to my attention. “I’ve called an ambulance” a member of staff announces and I just shake my head “there’s no time”.

“It’s okay, I’ve had 3, she’s had 2” the staff member says as she comes over. “Towels, water and scissors” she demands of the director and I look to my wife, tears in my eyes “thank you for doing that” I smile and she laughs, rubbing my belly and taking my underwear off. “Come on, let’s have a baby” she smiles.

“Shit, you’re.. like, open” she whispers as she gazes between my legs. “I know” I say as I grab my thigh, panting in and out. “Can I push?” I ask softly and she looks to the women “yes, you absolutely can” one of them laughs. “O-okay” I mumble as I scrunch my face up, taking a breath and baring down for the first time ever. “Nnnnggg” I groan quietly, feeling movement but no spreading.

“Okay, like you’re doing a poo” the woman smiles and I look to Blair grabbing her hand and squeezing “nngaahahh!” I cry out, taking some quick rounded breaths after letting it out. “Pick her leg up” one of the women demand to my wife and I shake my head “I need her” I moan and the other woman takes a leg, pushing back.

“Mmmphhh” I cry out “I can’t fucking do it” I cry and my wife smiles “You! Are Lena fucking Lovell, you can do anything” she laughs.

“Gaaaaah!” I cry, feeling myself split. “Am I tearing?” I ask and the woman between my legs shakes her head “I’m Mel” she laughs and I nod “thank you Mel” I smile before baring down again “ccccaaaaah!” I screech “that’s it, harder sweetheart, you’re doing it” she smiles and I shake my head before pulling my other leg back and giving everything I’ve got “GAAAHHH!” I cry out feeling a pop “fuck” I moan, trying to catch my breath.

“Heads here” she smiles “again” she demands and I shake my head “I need a break”. “You’re doing amazingly baby, you’re so beautiful” Blair smiles lovingly and I laugh, wiping my head. “I love you” I whisper and she smiles “I love you too”.

I find myself getting up onto my knees, leaning forward “sorry” I mumble and the woman smiles “you’re in control” she says softly.

“Fuck.. fu-UUHHH” I cry out, feeling the shoulders stretch me out “ohhhh, oh god” I moan, reading down “come on baby, come out” I whisper as I tug a little. “Come on, work with mommy” I whisper. “Baby, you catch” I instruct Blair as I hold on to the stand. “Ready?” I whisper before letting out a huge scream “aahhhhhhh!” I howl as I feel the baby leave my body and splash into my loves arms, followed by the sweetest cries.