Madness.

It’s not that Bdubs isn’t happy about Etho’s transition—he couldn’t be happier, frankly, to see her so happy—but it does put him in somewhat of an awkward position. The small collection of pink-purple-blue pins and buttons and flags (okay, only one flag) he’s accumulated over the last decade fits easily inside of one small bundle. He’s just not sure what the heck to do with it.

“Uh-huh. Maybe it should go to someone who hasn’t been queerbaiting me for the last ten years. It’s a shame, actually,” Etho says, and wraps her arms around his waist, breathing a laugh against his neck. “I don’t get to call you a sissy anymore.”

Bdubs decides that afternoon to swing by Ren’s. There’s a few bi people on the server, but he’s fairly sure Cleo and Gem both have their own collections of flagged-up merch, and after them, Ren’s the person he’d trust to take care of this stuff the most. Maybe it doesn’t suit him given his new circumstances (not that anything else would; Bdubs shudders at the thought of wearing anything with that heinous black-and-white straight pride flag), but it does still have sentimental value. Ren’ll look after it, he’s sure.

When he makes it over to the Archives of the Arcane, he finds Ren poring over a levitating tome, a big circle of magic nonsense floating in the air around him. It dissipates the second Bdubs shouts out, “hi Ren!”

“Sir Bdubs,” Ren says, looking up from his book. “What can I do you for?”

Bdubs pulls the bundle out of his inventory and empties its contents over the table nearest to Ren’s flying book. “I have an amazing, one-of-a-kind offer for you. A load of pride stuff. Vintage pins from—from 2015.” Bdubs snorts at his own joke. “You want ‘em?”

Ren picks up a pin and inspects it through his glasses. Then his eyes go wide and he drops it. “Is that the, erm, bisexual flag?” he asks, voice a little high and strained like he’s trying to be casual.

Bdubs nods, and sighs mournfully. “Yeah. My old standard.”

“What makes you think I’m—that?”

Bdubs rolls his eyes. “Are you kidding me? You and Martyn were fa—oh, I can’t say that any more. You and Martyn were doing something back in Third Life. And I’ve heard those Creepr notifications on your comm.”

Reddening, Ren’s hand flies to the communicator burning a hole in his robe pocket, like Bdubs can see the app through the fabric. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ren stammers. “And if I did have an app like that, I definitely wouldn’t have notifications.”

“Okay!” Bdubs says, holding up his hands. “Look, you want this stuff or not?”

“Erm.” Ren reaches out for it, then stops himself. “Why are you giving it away, anyway?”

“It’s a whole thing,” Bdubs says, and sighs. “Since Etho came out, I figured she was the only guy I ever liked. So now she’s a woman, I guess I’m not bi anymore. Which sucks! ‘Cause I got all this stuff. So I want it to go to a good home. You know I got my first pride pin almost a decade ago, and—”

“Hold the phone,” Ren says, frowning. “You and Etho are… dating?”

Bdubs blinks at him. And blinks again. “What kind of question is that? We’ve been together since, I don’t know—ten years, Ren.”

“Oh,” Ren says, frown deepening. Then, “I thought we weren’t meant to date other hermits.”

“Where’d you get that idea?” Bdubs says. “You really didn’t know? I know we keep it low-key, but—”

Ren cuts him off again. “So you’re straight, now. You can be straight.”

“...Yes?” Bdubs puts his hands on his hips. “Look, do you want this stuff or not?”

“My deepest apologies, Sir Bdubs, something’s just occurred to me,” Ren says, pulling his robes tightly around him and heading for the exit. “A matter of utmost importance that I need to discuss with Lady FalseSymmetry.”

Crap. “No, no, that’s not what I meant,” Bdubs says, trying to get between Ren and the door but getting buffeted by Ren’s big hat for his trouble. “First me, now you? No way, man! I can’t be de-bisexual-ising two people in one day.”

Ren slips past him easily and, grabbing the brim of his hat with both hands to pull it down and squeeze through the opening, darts through the door. “Hold that thought, Sir Bdubs. I’ll be right back!”

Bdubs is left standing in the middle of the library with the bundle still in his hands, mouth gaping.

That’s it. I hate myself, he thinks. I’ve gotta be the worst ally of all time.