Mindful Conversations

‘Nice guys finish last.’ This cliché has haunted me throughout my life. If the point of this life is to find love and be loved, representing myself as a ‘nice guy’ does not help my self-esteem when I hear this quote. Although this perception only stems if you look at the cliché at face value. There’s more. Look deeper. 

My favourite tv characters are Ted Mosby and Ross Geller. Two male role models that pride themselves of the concept of the ‘one.’ I think in some weird way, I believe in that concept as well. I want to find a girl who makes me smile when I’m with her, that I can laugh with and one that can laugh at herself. I want a girl who wants to end a fight with a smile. I want a girl who can discuss intelligent ideas and wants to travel the world. I want a girl who is outgoing and shy - timid and loud. Some may say that I’m searching for a fairy-tale, but I believe she’s out there. I will find her. Eventually

See the thing with finishing last, its a concept that is kind of awesome. Being last means we are thinking about the decisions of who we want to love. Being last means we won't end up with the second best. Waiting makes nice guys finish first, because we will searching for someone who is searching for us. Maybe that’s perfection.

Like Justin Bieber sings “we just want to be loved.” Nice guys and nice girls, believe in yourself, you will find what you’re looking for. There is someone out there who likes you. There is someone out there who likes me. 

We all get down. We all will be sad. Some will fall into depressions. These are some generalisations about the world but I believe them to be true. I have been down, I have been sad and I have been depressed. 

Depression is like being locked inside a dark room with no door, no windows, no escape, nothing. You feel alone and uncomfortable. You feel sick and heavy. Its a scary time in someones life and when your’e there its easy to see how people go over the edge. Even though I have felt that way, like I was in that room, the simple truth is your’e not alone, I wasn't and am not alone. We are our strongest when we are at our weakest.

The ways people get into these physiological trances actually also stem from ourselves. We (ourselves) put the thoughts in our minds that drive us into the dark room. We are the ones who construct the room. And, we are the ones who can knock it down. 

Life is hard. It’s fucking hard man. And I haven't been living for very long so I know that it will continue to get harder. But I will not be a long time resident in any dark room. When life knocks you down, just get back up and do it again. Continue to fight, continue to fall, because the only person who will stop you is you. 

Depression is like being in a dark room. But that dark room has a light-switch. Find it and turn it on. Its never over. You are never alone. 

This is hard. I started this blog to motivate myself to write more, produce more, create more. But this is harder than it seems. I started this blog as a vent, I think. As a medium where I could just say what I wanted to say, and the content didn't and doesn't and won't be perfect. These posts are written in 15-20 minutes, read over once and then posted. I use this process because I want to be in the moment. I want my emotion, my feeling for that day to be expressed quickly, instantly.

The internet is like that. Fast. Quick. Instant. Information is posted through various mediums, in massive numbers, every second. Some might never read this. Most might never read this. But that is not my inspiration for this blog. My inspiration is the hope that this blog will motivate me more and more. 

I read somewhere, or heard someone say that ‘it’s easier to be busy’. This blog is a medium in which I can become busy. I hope to learn from this blog, learn from this journey of trying to write something, a good few paragraphs, each day. This is day 5, and I hit a block. There are many things I want to talk about, but currently I can't think of anything. 

This won't stop me. Even at 2am, I am passionate and committed to this task I have set for myself. I don't know how long this blog will last for I can't see the future. All I can do is try, keep moving, keep writing. 

Maybe, soon, this might make sense. 

Life is full of crossroads. Decisions. Moments. Whatever you want to call them. Life; is full of them. Everyday, big or small, we make choices that will dictate our path in life. And I’m only young, 19 in a week, so i’m not that experienced when it comes to giving advice on how to live your live. Usually, I look in other mediums, other texts and their messages to guide me. I believe in being a good person. My decisions hopefully reflect that and hopefully will continue to reflect that. That being said, I am constantly stuck at crossroads. I will stand there, at the intersections of life and look both ways. The thing about choices, is you can't see the future, you can't see whats down the road you choose to take. That’s the risk. Life’s a risk. Cliché, maybe. Truth, yes. And because life is so short, you can’t waste time standing in the middle contemplating left or right, up or down. You have to just move. Go. Live for the moment in the moment.

I have two role models when deciding where to go in life. Two ‘heroes’ I look to, for guidance. Robert Frost and Matilda.

Frost said, “two roads diverge in the woods. And I took the one less travelled. And that made all the difference.” Here, he speaks about individuality conquering normality. Instead of following the road that everyone else has carved, he chooses to take the long road, the unknown road, the hard road. And I’m not saying that I don't follow social normality, I do. I follow the rules, but sometimes the rules are stupid. Sometimes the rules are wrong. Women without the right to voting, coloured segregated and made to be slaves, these are just a couple of ‘social normalities’ that individuals broke the rules to change. Individualism is the essence of creativity. I try take the road less travelled in hope that I too can make difference.

Matilda sang, “Mustn't let a little thing like, 'little' stop you.” We may feel small, insignificant in this world but we each have a purpose. We mustn't let little problems stop us from realising the big picture.

Take my words for what they are worth. I’m young, but I trust my judgement, I trust myself. The point of all this is to live - however you chose. I don't know if my way is right, but it feels good to me.

Insults are acceptable in two social contexts. When in reference to Hitler or when a comic insults a heckler. Any other insult is useless - a waste of speech, time and energy. Insults are used to tear people down. 

Remember that old cliché “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Words are powerful. How we talk to people, the words we use, the tone we use, not only reflects who we are as people, it also impacts others. Society can ‘sugarcoat’ the power of words with a cute rhyming cliché, but words, when used in a hurtful manner, hurt. And can hurt for a while. 

Insults cause horrible things. Degrading things. They don't make you look any cooler, they don't make you any tougher, in fact, they make you weak. Insults are easy. And easy is never right, you can never learn from easy. People who spring to insults as their immediate rebuttal are just wrong. The problem is they don't know they are wrong, because insults are ‘popularised’ today, they are normalised in our society. More and more, bullying is becoming a part of our society. And we just look away, and thats the mistake. When bullying, insults or anything in that aspect are occurring, stand up to the problem. Stop turning away. There’s no more room under the rug. 

You are worth more than that insult. 

If you are being insulted, stand up. If you are insulting, stop it. Nothing good will come from it. There is no progression is oppression. You can quote me on that last line. Insults are not entertaining. Unless you are Bill Burr and some drunk idiot stands up and yells at you while you are preforming, just shut the fuck up. We will love you. Please get the message. 

We will, undoubtably, all make ‘mistakes’ in our lives. The difference is how people act when making these faults. We can either learn from them or not. You can't and won't live a perfect life, because perfection is just a societal construction - it is a lie. 

Mistakes are great, if we can learn from them they can change us into better people. Regrets are not great. Some people see these two words as synonyms,  yet in fact, they are antonyms. Understand that mistakes allow you to learn, grow and prosper. Regrets, accept the defeat, they accept the mistake and will haunt you. I have made many mistakes in my life, but I thrive of learning from them. I try to live without regrets. 

The phrase, “Living with no regrets,” sounds like it would come from some trashy pre-teen, but that phrase has truth, it was worth. Living with no regrets is exactly what we should all be doing. If everyone accepted mistakes and forgave those people made them, this world would thrive much more than it would dwindle. Forgiving a human being, who, lets face it, is a mistake machine, is something we as humanity and as a society should want to do. 

Second chances are lives gift. If someone falls, pick them up. If someone makes a mistake, teach them how to improve. Second chances only work when there is cooperation and keeping mistakes from turning into regrets is much similar. Like I was reminded today “We’re all in this together.” I think I needed that quote. 

‘beauty is close up and behind a blurred thorn’