Then perish.

Moses commanded the red sea in the name of God, “Move, I’m gay.”

And the Lord spoke to his disciples, “Take, cronch. This is my body, given for you.” Then, lifting the wine, Jesus cracked open a cold one with the boys.

The blind man was made to see by Jesus’ hand, and he looked up in awe. “I’d like to thank not only God but also Jesus.”

The Pharaoh of Egypt would not relent, for he was the sand guardian, guardian of the sand, and the Israelites quivered before him.

Tied up and helpless, Samson’s wig was snatched.

On the third day, Jesus rose again. “I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me.”

“PSA: here are the new Commandments, thank you for coming to my TED talk.”

“Um OP literally created the world and everything in it but go off I guess”

Witnessing Jesus walking on water, the disciples were in awe: “Oh, my God — He on x-games mode”

Jesus, bound to the cross, spoke thusly:

Jonathan: Bro it’s just a dream

David: Gay, I wouldn’t fuck you

Jonathan: You wouldn’t?

Fruit: eaten

Dick: out

Shiny Mega Gallade & Shiny Mega Gardevoir - [Hold Hands]

Toto’s Africa but with the Donkey Kong Country Soundfont.mid