accurate representation of artists everywhere
Keni
Cosmic Funnies
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Monterey Bay Aquarium

he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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I'd rather be in outer space πΈ
hello vonnie
occasionally subtle
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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Misplaced Lens Cap
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Sade Olutola
Today's Document

Discoholic πͺ©
YOU ARE THE REASON
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@millebon
accurate representation of artists everywhere

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guy who has definitely smoked before
When you're comedian Kaylin Mahoney and you've been abruptly conscripted mid-show from PA to Participating Performer and made to do Time-Limited Silly Tasks
10/10 incredible work
i love the guest artist episodes inevitably including a sam sketch ππ

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the face of a woman who was not expecting to be game changer-ed
Kaylin Mahoney instantly won my heart and became my favourite part of the episode as soon as she was betrayed by Sam
The clover has finally grown enough for her to munch on again
absolute decadence
Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!
it is weird that celiac stuff has become part of the 'culture war'. because it's literally just a medical thing.... I get super anemic unless I cut a certain protein out of my diet, because it bulldozes the villi in my intestines. but if I post about it, right-wingers send me gore images. I guess you can't expect shitty people to be logical, but I've even heard lefty people make fun of gluten stuff, and it's like why are you mad about this??? why are you pissed off that I'm eating bread that doesn't taste as good so that I can have blood in my body? it's so morally neutral.
I'm sorry, I know you weren't actually looking for an explanation but I always have a rant about this locked and loaded.
As far as I can tell the reasons that this happens are:
The interpretation of disability accommodation as wokeness - a lot of the same people who are shitty about food limitations are also shitty about sign language interpreters and ramp requirements (also building regulations relating to the latter) because they view any accommodation as capitulation to a group they think should "suck it up and deal with it" (quietly exist without named or obvious accommodations). The conversations around peanut-free or milk-free classrooms to accommodate children with allergies are similarly unhinged and possibly more horrifying.
Conflating specialty diets as a result of proximity in the popular consciousness - you're a lot more likely to see something described as "vegan + gluten free" or to see vegan/vegetarian/g-free options grouped on menus than you are to see keto/vegan/gfree options so the "lefty" animal-free diets get grouped with gluten-free (it's also interesting that there are right-wing diets, and I wonder how many of these people remember when you used to be able to find "atkins-friendly" symbols on casual dining restaurant menus)
Gluten free diets became a fad fifteen years ago; tons of people read "Wheat Belly" and stopped eating wheat as a weight loss hack and when they went back to eating wheat because it's actually pretty difficult to get around a major staple grain they didn't experience any negative consequences; people saw this and basically think that it's a trend, that people are faking medically necessary diets as part of a fad. When questioned about this they always go "but, I mean, it's okay if you REALLY need to skip the wheat because you have a condition but most people are doing it because it's popular" when g-free diets haven't been a major trend for quite a while now. TO BE QUITE FAIR, I think that things like "Gluten Aware" cookies and beer and such, which contain a little gluten but not NO gluten contribute to this perception (these have annoyed me forever for two reasons: 1. They make people without celiac think that a little gluten is fine for people with celiac, which it is not; 2. fucking commit, companies. *I* want the cookies and beer and it's deeply annoying that these business will go to the lengths to create products with minimal gluten but won't actually make g-free foods - this is often because of the risk of cross contamination, they won't claim to make g-free things because they won't work with a dedicated g-free facility)
Anyway, in conclusion: it sucks, I'm sorry.
The fun flipside of this is that I've seen people who are more right wing become aggressively pro regulation and pro accommodation when they or their family members have to suddenly take on the individual burden of making up for a society that doesn't include them by default.
US specific:
Is your ham made with vinegar? Does your ham have the generic word "spices" on the ingredient list? Does your ham include "smoke flavoring"? Does your ham include caramel coloring?
Because malt vinegar has gluten in it. "Spices" may include wheat products in a mix. Smoke flavoring may be made with barley flour. Caramel coloring may be made with wheat or barley syrup.
If the label says "gluten free" that means that the "spices," caramel coloring, vinegar, and smoke flavor are certified to contain 20ppm or less of gluten.
If the ham is cured in any way, it may include gluten. If the ham was marinated, it probably includes gluten. If the ham was prepared in a facility that processes wheat in any way, it might be cross contaminated with gluten.
There's a company out there called "Gluten Free Water" that makes water in plastic bottles, poking fun at the idea that too many things have a gluten free label. I fucking hate that company. Because that company is functionally saying "lol, people are so sensitive and over the top about this, let's be a little silly and laugh about how crazy people can be with their 'gluten free' nonsense."
Did you know that there are sustainable food containers and straws that contain wheat? And that you don't have to label them? There are definitely people with celiac who have been sickened by biodegradable plastic straws in their "obviously water is gluten free there's no risk here" water.
"It's over-labeled so it looks trendy" just means you don't know how foods are made or what foods contain gluten. Gluten is ridiculously common in foods in general, and also in packaged meats.
Your ham has to say gluten free because it distinguishes it from the hams that do contain gluten, which is a fucking lot of them. And you're annoyed that your ham has to say gluten free and I'm annoyed that I'm standing in the grocery store calling a ham company to figure out where they source their caramel coloring so I can figure out if the damned ham is safe to eat.
"lol, oats don't have wheat in them, are people so stupid that they have to be told what is and isn't wheat? why does this oatmeal have a gluten free label?" Cross contamination; gluten free oats are not grown near wheat and are not processed in facilities that process wheat.
"lol, rice doesn't have wheat in it, why is this rice labeled gluten free, all rice is gluten free" Cross contamination; the rice isn't processed on equipment that processes wheat.
"lol why does this turkey breast say gluten free, it's just fucking turkey" read the ingredients on your "just" turkey, lots of packaged meat is packed in broth, some of which contains modified food starch, which may contain wheat.
"lol why are these strawberries labeled gluten free? they're fucking strawberries" WAX, BUDDY. SOME FRUITS ARE COATED IN PRESERVATIVE WAX FILMS BY THE MANUFACTURER AND SOME OF THOSE FUCKING FILMS CONTAIN GLUTEN.
I think that part of the reason that people are so irritated by g-free labels is because it exposes them to just how vast and alienating their food systems are.
"Ham should just be meat from a pig, maybe with sugar and salt; what on earth is happening that there might be wheat in that process? Nothing in that process should involve wheat." And then you might have to think about it for a second, might have to wonder what "sugar" and "salt" mean when someone is producing a million hams to be delivered thousands of miles away. It's not just sugar and salt; it's preservatives and nitrates and batch cooking and getting corn syrup instead of sugar and getting smoke flavoring instead of smoking the ham and turning your "whole food" into all the ingredients that make up the ingredients that make up the ingredients.
A "gluten free" label says "you can eat this" to somebody with celiac disease, who has already pounded their skull against the shittiness of the medical system and the food system.
But to someone who doesn't have to worry that their food is going to disable them, a "gluten free" sticker on ham takes a known quantity and turns their sandwich into a hyperobject that contains animal agriculture and industrial additive production and shipping pollution and the ongoing assault on regulation.
If it doesn't have the label, you can just eat your lunch. If it does have the label, you are haunted by the specter of RFK junior imploding the FDA.
Turns out that everyone in the US with celiac is already constantly haunted by the possible implosion of the FDA because food regulation is an up-close and personal part of our daily lives that most people would rather not think about.
As someone with corn based issues my sickness levels are a recession indicator.
I can tell when companies are cost cutting because they start using corn sugar or maize starch as a bulking sweetener and it makes me incredibly fucking ill. Are they kind enough to put a "new recipe" label on it? Sometimes! Only fucking sometimes. A bunch of times I discover it when my stomach is trying to exist my body in aggressive, stabby maneuvers. It sucks.
And people will literally laugh at it and pretend it's no problem that they don't know why every yoghurt in the shop has cornflour in it rather than real fruit. Or their meat is all preserved with corn to make it look good for longer.
People have no idea what is in their food unless they have to have.
And even that can end up down weird pipelines of "crunchy mums" and conspiracies about plastic rice. It's so tiring man.
Oh man, I fucking hate the "unlabeled new recipe" bullshit. I am so grateful that my wife is ever-vigilant and realized that our old go-to brand of molΓ© sauce no longer had the tiny text reading "gluten-free" where she was used to seeing it on the front of the jar, because they'd changed their recipe and put wheat flour in it.
She literally clocked the change in the label β it wasn't marked as changed, she just noticed that the "gf" label was gone β and that was enough for her to flip the jar over and check.
I gotta say that the most infuriating recipe change I've had to deal with was when a company started using "barley syrup" instead of their previous HFCS, which is how I suddenly started sweating and whimpering from drinking frozen lemonade.
"Lemonade is always gluten-free, it's stupid for them to label that shit!"
lmao ok bud
Anyway, solidarity. This shit sucks.

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also this hadestown proshot is what made me realize that hades literally built all that stuff in hadestown FOR PERSEPHONE SO SHE'D WANT TO STAY like SHE'S the reason he made it artificially hot and bright!! he's trying to mimic summer so she doesn't leave!! how did I not realize this before????
ALSO i knew the reason orpheus could finish the song was because he finally understood the fear and doubt hades has every time persephone leaves BUT I DIDNT REALIZE THAT THE TRIAL HADES GIVES WAS ALSO BECAUSE HE UNDERSTOOD ORPHEUS AS WELL!! like hades knew he'd fail because HE'D fail!!
also also I know there's a Thing between hades and eurydice but I didn't realize that there was also one between persephone and orpheus until now, and I think it's intended to show that they're foils of one another, that pre-seasons hades was more like orpheus and pre-seasons persephone was more like eurydice and that their focus on orpheus and eurydice is because they remind them of what they had (and think they lost) - the love o+e have for each other reminds them of themselves, and so hades wants to take eurydice away/lock her away and persephone wants to protect orpheus/let him escape because they're trying to prevent them repeating their own mistakes in their own ways
like the slime tutorial did not give me these revelations, all musicals need professional recordings for this reason!!
By popular demand: He eat a Wawamelon
i think we should start openly mocking male creatives who can't figure out how to write women. like actually i think it's embarrassing that it took elliot page transitioning for christopher nolan to give him a good role. why did it take like ten years to get the first female lead in a marvel movie? why is it a Known Fact that stephen king can't write women? why is 50% of the population omitted from large ensemble works? i asked my friend to name a movie directed by a man with a majority female cast and he said ghostbusters 2016. ghostbusters. ghostbusters. g
Do you think this is what you see when you die?
Tonight on Game Changer:
The world's most insane game of telephone featuring six comedians, three artists, and a PA with the temperament of a shaking chihuahua being held at gunpoint

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That bit where Brennan is on the phone describing the picture i was like god he sounds like a bank robber during a hostage negotiation and then Caldewell was like he narrated that to me like he had my child hostage akdkdkfkfkkfkg
artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.
its like, impossible to come up with anything funnier than the experience of seeing this post
pharoahs fuck better because they ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put the pussy in a scarmophogoghs
World Heritage Post