even cowgirls get the blues

Google: how to help your autistic child study

Me: how to study as an autistic adult/teen

Google: teachers guide to how to deal with autistic children

Me: how do I study as an autistic teen/adult

Google: study tips for autistic people(-written by this allistic man that will talk about autistic people like they're zoo animals)

Me: how to study as a neurodivergent adult, tips from neurodivergent person to neurodivergent students, on how to study independently as an autistic person, no reliant support needed

Google: high functioning autism and school

Me: fuck just. How do I focus during this test that I'm in rn as an AuDHD person

Google: ok, so, to focus on this thing that you currently are doing and need to get done TODAY; weeks before the test you'll need to eat healthy and exercise, meditate, study, set timers, take breaks, drink water, sleep, find the secrets to a happy life, adopt five children, sacrifice a goat, take short showers, brush your teeth

Executive dysfunction:

Black people learned a long time ago that no one would bother to listen to us if we didn't talk like philosophy professors having a spirited discussion, and I had to literally learn how to talk all over again because I couldn't for 6 months.

I guess there's always a societal pressure to fit in but it's 2024 we should all be beyond that and loving who we love regardless of what other people think or say. like people are all "tee hee love is love! Love wins! Diversity!" but somehow being fat just isn't included in that and it's. so weird.

I recently had a conversation with a straight coworker who wanted me to watch some show about gay couples because it had a lot of "hot guys" in it but it was just. athletic-built men and that's so boring, so when I told her it was not my type and I liked bigger guys, it was like I committed murder in front of the lord himself. it feels so. hypocritical to say "Love is love, love whoever you want" but we pull the reigns when it's a fat guy and not even fat fat, like chubby is too much for some people.

and I think chubby has become more passable, but the definition of chubby now is like a guy whose abs aren't visible 24/7 and that's. like. not it lol. like if he don't jiggle when he giggle i don't think that's chub.

he’s probably my favorite play it by ear guest because he’s so consistently funny like

the entirety of the bears go to college song

that scene in space rocks when jess’s character tells him to stop meddling and he goes “i have so much power!!”

similarly, that scene in mallapalooza when jess goes “he’s so cute, he has a whole system!” and zeke says “i dont know, he seems unwell”

when he comes in with that clutch short stacks short cake stacks in backwards compatible

And I can’t get the idea of Merlin going through something like this. Where while he is with Arthur he is in the migratory phase as you can see with how he is fallowing Arthur everywhere. And Merlin is using his little room as the place he keeps all his treasures, but it’s not very obvious because he is poor.

And Arthur finds out about Merlin being a wizard because he goes into Merlin’s room to find him but what he finds is an oddly too big room filled with strange trinkets. OR Arthur goes in to find Merlin but what he finds is a door that can’t have a room attached because there would be a room floating on the side of the tower. Arthur goes to open it but Merlin bursts into the room and jumps on him to prevent Arthur from entering that room. Merlin hadn’t realized what he was doing until he had pinned Arthur to the floor and knocked him out.

When Arthur is awake Merlin denies the existence of the door and when Arthur goes in to check it is gone. Arthur goes to the library to try and find answers. He finds one book on something similar, it’s about wizards and their life cycles. He reads it learning about how when a wizard is young they are often migratory and if a young wizard chooses to stay near you you must make sure they go on many adventures for if they don’t their magic and life force could dwindle. He reads further learning about all the stages in a wizard’s life cycle. But what Arthur is most concerned with is that Merlin is a wizard and he has been taken out for adventures enough to stay healthy.

Arthur makes a plan on how to verify if merlin is a wizard, knowing that Merlin would never admit to it because of the no magic law. So Arthur decides to not take Merlin with him on adventures for a couple months.

Merlin does start to look sickly and tired over the months and Arthur comes to the conclusion that Merlin is a wizard ( this is not a good way to determine if someone is a wizard, Merlin looks sickly because he has to hide the fact he actually goes with Arthur while looking like he stays at the castle.) So Arthur, being mildly distressed now, starts planing political trips to other countries to get Merlin out more. And Merlin is happy he can keep Arthur alive without having to sacrifice all his sleep.

They go on like this until Merlin finds the book on wizards in Arthur’s room with Notes Arthur has taken on if he thinks the advice worked well for Merlin. Merlin gets mad at Arthur for treating him like a pet because that book was sooooo old and out dated that it treated wizards as a different species and that’s not how Arthur should be treating him.

Merlin was raised among Dragonlords, at least for a good while. They are a mix of Dragon tamers and assassins and taught Merlin how to do both (also magic). He only ever went there over the summer to visit his father, who was banned from the kingdom, (His mother usually went with him for a couple days, but couldn't stay much longer because of the farm work.) but he had great potential and caught up to the other dragonlords easily.

Fast forward, Merlin is assigned Arthur's personal manservant and has a prophecy thrown at him by the dragon beneath the castle.

While hiding in plain sight, Merlin creates his alternate persona 'Emrys', the assassin who appears in random windows to kill Arthur's newest threat.

Arthur, none the wiser, only knows a man with yellow eyes, a mask and daggers is sneaking around him, protecting him with everything his father told him was evil.

Needless to say, Arthur is having a crisis. A very gay crisis, in fact. And because he thinks Merlin is a little like him (because of the stolen dresses and sneaking around), he tries to confide in him very subtly.

Arthur: Emrys, well... He's sort of ... A good looking fella.

Merlin: is he? Didn't you tell me he's wearing a mask?

Arthur: yes, but.... You know. He has - arms

Merlin: arms

Arthur: and legs

Merlin: ... I'm not sure that's as impressive as you claim it is. I have both of those two *wiggles his limbs*

Arthur: yes but his are - wait, actually you're very similar to him

Merlin: so, am I attractive too? *Lopsided grin*

Inktober Day 11 - Snacks

Shortcake stacks: they are also a snack!