mcyt fans will see an unrelated post and be like “ohmygoodness...this reminds me of how shittyfartbaby69 and penisunavailable were during the minecraft electric chair execution scene🥺”
the original text .......

ellievsbear
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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Love Begins
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occasionally subtle

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@milfboss
mcyt fans will see an unrelated post and be like “ohmygoodness...this reminds me of how shittyfartbaby69 and penisunavailable were during the minecraft electric chair execution scene🥺”
the original text .......

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happy mother's day!
tumblr university is OUT tumblr monastery is IN brother tumblrinus is painstakingly copying out the most interesting prev tags on a manuscript of vergil until the abbot calls him out for not making his proto-gothic script accessible enough and also for his heresies
feel free to stop reblogging this literally any time
I think one last reblog would be appropriate
You know how in the Anglosphere (or maybe just the USA) there's a trend of 'unique' names like Kayleigh and Emmeleigh? Is there anything similar going on in other languages?
Buddy if you only knew what parents name their kids in Brazil
Meu sonho é conhecer o Creedence Clearwater Revival dos Santos Souza

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ok community notes are a rare twitter w
best follower goal ive seen on someone's page who just followed me & appears to never stream
hey chipheads ive been recently informed that there is a FAKE account on here impersonating my little brother Theodore and spreading false info on our band and the chipettes, which is NOT cool. The account is @theodorechipmunk you should block and report this FAKE, he needs to really knock it off!
pay me Fucker
you didnt even stop during press interviews during the writers strike
Telling young zoomers to "just switch to linux" is nuts some of these ipad kids have never even heard of a cmd.exe or BIOS you're throwing them to the wolves
i taught programming to middle school kids last summer and I don't think you understand how bad it's getting.
a lot of these kids don't know what a "folder" is. some of them don't even know how to right click. I asked my class to put a folder on their desktop and half of the students did not know how. these are like, 11-13 year olds who's parents thought they were tech literate enough to sign them up for a programming class. most of them did not know how to add a bookmark on their browser. most of them could not touch type.
basic computer literacy is evaporating because everyone does everything on their phone now, but schools are getting rid of any computer classes because "all the kids are using computers all the time anyways!"
I hope they'll learn more as they get older but many of them wont. the divide between "basic user" and "advanced user" is quickly shifting towards knowing the most simple functions of a computer, and the more people who don't know how to correctly use their devices the easier it is to sell them shit they don't need.

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star wars fans really just make anything up
I’m not Glup Shitto-ing you. He has a sexstache and everything.
that is the face of a man worried he will be next
Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.
Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.
crane husband.....
this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.
(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:
Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s. The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.
As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.
It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.
Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.
The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.
They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.
Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.
Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.
Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent. (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)
It worked!
Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.
However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them. (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)
Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird. White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive. (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)
Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this
she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)
His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)
the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)
"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")
chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"
just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.
well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.
Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes
the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was
World Heritage Post
this is the only shit I open TikTok for
(;

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