I think it would be incredibly emotionally fulfilling to hit someone in the back of the head really hard with a shovel

i actually get a bit annoyed with people who get a bit annoyed when people say “sorry” in response to their bad news. “why are you apologizing you didn’t do anything :/” like okay well a) you don’t know that and actually yes i am the secret architect of all your woes and have been this whole time, way to refuse to acknowledge a woman (gender neutral)’s accomplishments. and b) we’re both fluent english speakers so you know perfectly well that “sorry” isn’t always an apology and is very commonly used as an expression of general regret or sympathy. not in this case, because i have been your secret nemesis for years, meticulously plotting your every misery, but, like, in general

whenever ppl say "I have no style" or "I have no process" I'm like no!! you simply cannot see outside of yourself. you may not know what you have but you have it and it's gonna follow you forever.

something vindictive but ultimately harmless I do at work is that if you’re at my register and you’re rude to me and you pay with cash I am finding the most disgusting desolate fucked up unspeakable coin I can to give to you. oh you were mean to me? you’re getting the yucky nickel bitch

(crawls on all fours with blood drenched on me) I have to do arts and crafts

I love personalization. I love stickers on water bottles and on laptops. I love shitty marker drawing on the toes of converse. I love hand embroidered doodles on jeans. I love posters on walls. I love knick knacks on shelves. I love jewelry with goofy charms. I love when people take things and make them theirs.

I'm going to start emoting like a silent film character.

does anyone know if you can get in trouble for feeling weird

Depends. Are you catholic?

if anything else happens to me i’m not enduring it. somebody else do that

In the club yawning

me rn