💌

"which could mean nothing" is one of the most useful phrases to ever enter my lexicon thank you rpf

poking at Ur hand with my nose to get you to pet me

you're going to try and bite it aren't you?

im not gonna lie i will straight up be biting it yes

Ragebaiting my fat dog? More like master baiting my fat hog!!!!!!!!

that 2018–2019 nostalgia is so diabolical you guys..... also genuinely completely unrelated but i turned 21 at the beginning of the month but then i had exams and i was generally not doing well so i didn't have time or energy to buy myself my celebratory First Legal (American..) drink/edible/whatever. and now i'm back here (drinking age 18) and it's just not the same.. 😔 oh well. actually in general turning 21 was kind of an underwhelming experience and i was a little miserable for other reasons too SO if anyone wants to tell me that actually your 22nd or 23rd or 28th or whatever is the birthday in your 20s that Really you should be looking forward to...! i'm listening

hey everyone 🫂 today i turned 23 and woah it truly does get better

Under communism the wait staff will not ask if Pepsi is okay. You will not even find out that's its Pepsi instead of coke until you take your first sip. Unless you train like me, to know the difference from the sound of the Fizz alone, that is the only way we can beat communism and I can teach you. Take my hand. Not like that you grabbed it gay. Stop. Giggles. I SAID STOP

i am first and foremost a lover. secondarily and mostly for the bit i am also a hater

if i were a woman, i would tweet “ginger snapped so jennifer could body”, but i’m not a woman, and i don’t use twitter, and i haven’t seen jennifer’s body, and i don’t make a lot of money or have a car or look nice

and i don’t dress well or know how to tie any knots besides the regular one you tie your shoes with. my taste in music is lacking and i need a haircut