RELATIVELY CALM

system of a clown. you ever think of that

"This is where the last clue leads," said Detective Hole. "This will lead us to the killer." He opened the door and screamed. A bat was there

Instead of requiring my henchmen to wear matching uniforms, I allow each of them to design their own costume and encourage them all to develop their own unique battle techniques, making each henchperson a minor villain in their own right rather than simply one of a horde

My facility encourages evil career development

i love lying in emails i don’t even have to hold back the evil laugh while i do it

what the suez canal actually needs are 3-5 of those retired italian men to stand on the side of the canal and offer suggestions. i bet that’d get it unstuck

oh? if i'm an *evil* wizard then why does the king let me skulk around the throne offering bad advice unimpeded?

when i was a little kid i used to love going in this halloween store at the mall & they had all the scary masks on the wall behind the counter & id just stare at them & there was one that i guess was some kind of like off-brand ghostface & i called him Longchin & i was so obsessed with him. i never bought anything there but any time we went to the mall id make my mom take me in there so i could see longchin. i miss him