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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
It is in the darkness that one finds the light.
-- Meister Eckhart
(Zurich, Switzerland)
Finding Yourself Again
What would happen if you left?
Would things get worse, or better?
Being with your boyfriend since the end of high school and through college came with countless challenges- 5 years, 2 apartments, full time jobs, and classes.
He constantly ridiculed you for any mistakes, put you down for being yourself, and made sure you always knew he was rightβand you were wrong. Controlling every aspect of your life, he left you feeling like a stranger to yourself.
After graduation and your worst fight yet, you call your best friend, Robin, and move back to Hawkins, IN- determined to rediscover yourself, reconnect with friends and family, and reclaim your freedom.
Not looking for love, but what if it was looking for you?
Series CW: modern au/ angst, smut, and fluff/ toxic relationship behaviors/ starting a new life/ healing/ unexpected romance/ trust issues/ trauma/ low self esteem/ slow burn/ hateful words/ swearing/ yelling/
OC ex boyfriend x (f) reader
Eddie x (f) reader
Each chapter will be based off a different song, artist and title will be listed.
Each chapter will have their own content warnings.
1. When The Bough Breaks
2. I Donβt Love You
3. Undressed
4. Linger
5. Last Hope
6. Give
7. Pride and Joy
8. The Way That You Were
9. Sheβs So High
10. Jericho
11. My Immortal
12. Have Faith In Me
13. Burning House
14. Iris
15. Telomeres
Taglist? Lemme know!!
Ty @strangergraphics for the dividers π€
πΌ
consider this a sign...
...to be kinder to yourself.
no matter what life has been so far, you deserve more kindness from yourself.
treat yourself gently. care for yourself. go easy on yourself. you're precious β¨

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
Being Truly Seen (or, Why Crowley Changed After Meeting Jesus*)
*NOT a religious essay, or anything in the religious sense
[On Being Believed In, Defining Your Own Identity, Crowley's Genderfluidity, & Self-Acceptance]
Back in Judea, "Crawly, the serpent of Eden", was once again sent on a big job without knowing the details. Crowley met the carpenter-turned-preacher from Galilee, a guy named Jesus. Crowley reportedly tempted him, spent 40 days in the desert with him. From what little is said about it to Aziraphale, it's clear that Crowley liked the fellow.
I've often wondered what they talked about, once the "temptations" were done. Forty days and nights is an awfully long time to get to know someone.
At that man's crucifixion, Crowley's expression is so full of pain. As if this particular human matters to him. There's more there than merely compassion, or sympathy, or the accumulated disgust of 4,000 years of witnessing cruelty and destruction. Crowley's face shows a vulnerablility, a deep intensity, that gets tucked away when Aziraphale engages her in conversation. It hits me hard on every rewatch. And I've thought a lot about why...
I think that Jesus was Crowley's first human friend. More than that, I think that Jesus was the first Being to see Crowley Truly -- thoroughly and without any fear or reservations. Even beyond Aziraphale, who at that time was just beginning to learn how to reach beyond fears and pre-set expectations.
I think Jesus helped Crowley finally see himself (genderfluidly herself in this time) for who Crowley really is, and truly wanted to be, rather than what everyone else expected.
*And I don't mean this from a religion-based perspective. I'm not speaking of Jesus as "Savior" or talking about "conversion". I'm simply talking about this beautiful thing that happens when one person reaches out to another in a loving way, and looks beyond appearances or stereotypes to see someone for who they genuinely are.
Being believed in, and feeling cared about, in a deep and lasting way. This guy in the desert, this Jesus, gave that gift to Crowley.
Azirphale eventually also gives Crowley that, over time. But in these early days, their friendship is young, and Aziraphale is inconsistent.
Whenever he and Crowley aren't together, the angel is abused and gaslit and manipulated. He's suffering too, and is on a very difficult journey of his own. He can't provide a solid base yet for Crowley. Even though the trust, affection, and comfortable playfulness are already there, his expression of it is still erratic.
In Judea, Crowley didn't know why she'd been sent to make trouble for the young preacher-carpenter. She knew "his travel opportunities were limited", but neither Aziphale nor Crowley were informed on policy of why this man, dying on a cross, was special.
Yet something had happened in their meeting, something that touched Crowley's heart and made her believe that she could define herself, not be defined by others.
4,000 years after being cast out of heaven, "Crawly" became Crowley. And it was very, very Good.