Jun 11
we could do dishes. you could read dostoevsky. it’s the first time i’ve ever thought of you in this light. it’s the first time i’m thinking of your hair between my fingers. golden boy ? i’m screwed.
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we could do dishes. you could read dostoevsky. it’s the first time i’ve ever thought of you in this light. it’s the first time i’m thinking of your hair between my fingers. golden boy ? i’m screwed.
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he wasn’t anything to fit into. it was walking into a house. it was sitting down in the low lamp light. chet baker, or maybe frank ocean on a record player. it was 70°. rug under my feet, shoes off at the door. there was no key needed. no puzzle to solve, no riddles. it was coming home.
it’s the warmest, softest embrace. it was the easiest thing i’ve ever done, loving him.
i make pasta, open the window and light a candle. i take another hit. stare into Greek & Roman Myths and wonder how long it /should/ take me to turn a page. i wish you’d take me out.
i wish a lot of things.
It fucking hurts that you're not around.
I have new games I want to show you, but it's been a month since you considered me worth responding to
There's this food place that's two blocks down from me that you'd love, but everything tastes like sand after you stood me up
I have this coworker who's insane that you'd love to hear more about, but the spot you filled in my life is empty again
You taught me how filling it was to be loved, you taught me how to feel full.
So, what did I do to deserve it being revoked? Was I too much, not enough? Did I always bother you? When did it change?
I love you, so much I'm starving, and I'm choking down anything to keep from wasting away because I need you to recognize me when you come back
Because you are coming back. You always do.
Right?
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what happened? where are you? why won’t you answer me? stop leaving me in the dark for days, i miss you. please just respond to me, i can’t handle it. i want to talk to you. we don’t have to call just please text me im worried about you. i’m stressed out i need you here, why can’t you be there for me? why do i mean nothing to you? you said you liked me so why can’t you show it? am i being too clingy? i think about you all the time, i just need a response, i need to know you’re okay. am i too intense? do you think im weird? do i care too much? i always do.
"You have been more present in your absence than our time together"
