GhastlyAstronaut

look at my orb boy

The next Tesla model has tires that slash themselves whenever Elon Musk wants attention and you won’t be able to change them until you like 100 of his tweets

The next Tesla model asks you three riddles before you can charge it, but they’re really terrible riddles and if you get any of them wrong a Starlink satellite crashes into your house

The next Tesla model is gonna have no windows, doors, or roof, instead using a “force field technology” that doesn’t keep out insects or rain but will electrocute small children in or around the car.

The next Tesla model takes you on a magical nostalgic adventure through beautiful landscapes where you’ll fight the forces of evil and begin to uncover mysteries of your past only to reveal in the last second that there is no conclusion, none of it mattered at all and you’re an idiot for even caring about it. Then it kicks you in the stomach.

Last Thursday I was biking past a tow truck pulling a Tesla, still new enough to have dealer plates, onto a flatbed tow-truclk. Owner was angrily jabbering into his mobile about it. It’s one of the purest, cleanest hits of uncut schadenfreude I’ve had in a long time.

this is the post of the decade tbh

The really funny part is that Hexxus’ big musical number was originally even more explicit than what’s seen in the film, and only had the naughtier parts axed by the studio at very nearly the last minute (that’s why it feels a little short, and why there’s a really awkward jump-cut right in the middle of it) – but either they forgot to make the same cuts to the soundtrack CD, or it had already been pressed and distributed by the time the decision was made, so anybody who bought it and listened to the soundtrack version of this number got to hear Tim Curry very openly singing about how despoiling the environment makes him “a special kind of horny”.

Alright i need the full version right this instant

You can tell it’s the soundtrack version if it starts with unhinged howling, followed by a never-animated extended intro where Hexxus orgasmically sucks on the logging machine’s exhaust pipes.

wait im sorry does he say cock at 40 secs in?????

“Cack”, according to the lyrics printed in the liner notes – in context, probably meant in the slang-for-excrement sense of the word.

I cannot blame the cats, a large flat cardboard box that is super-warm AND smells like delicious foods?

I see you’re trapped in my gay and stupid maze again

@erinnightwalker

lit af

she was gettin it