Personal

Another 3 day entry... Tuesday: We were in physics class and i had just finished doing a groupwork for the six of our main group of friends. When i was done i got back to a sketch i was drawing similar to a drawing i posted on vsco a long time ago. You said "You've drawn something like that before right?" Completely confused by how you knew this, i asked "Yeah, how do you know?" You got startled and said "I saw it on your vsco". I had barely understood what you have just said because you said it so low, almost as if you mumbled the words, i dont know if it was because if you were ashamed you knew this or what, but thats when i learned that you're as obssesed with me (i hope) as i am obssesed with you. Wednesday: You missed the first class because you got sick. I didnt want to text you because i felt i wouldve been a bit too pushy and extra about it. But a friend texted you and you told her you were coming for the second class. My spirits were completely elevated as soon as i heard these news. We had a test that literally no one knew about the topic cause it was so hard to grasp it, however i had a better understanding of it since on tuesday i did the classwork for all of us. I saw your page was completely blank, and obviously as the generous bitch that i am i passed you the amswers. I knew you were not gonna ask for the first problem so i handed it over to you, but you grew some confidence and asked for the second problem with no shame (which i liked). I then proceeded to ask how you felt and bla bla. And also fun fact, we are getting closer by the day on snapchat. Thursday: i arrived late to class just to find out that 4/6 of my main clique wasnt there. Inlater found out you guys were at the cafeteria sonas soon as the proffesor gave us a little break me and my other friend went to the cafeteria to join you guys. I you there laying in the ground on a poof looking as laidback and chill as ever (god you're attractive). Next door in the auditorium there were some auditions for the uninchoir going on so we went there to spectate. I've known that you sing for a while through your ig and your friend so i was crossing my fingers you would get the courage to sing, however you were sick af, so i completely understood if you didnt want to sing. After we were done hanging out in the auditorium we headed back to biology class. A classmate of ours was giving his speech and you started coughing like crazy and you went out to cough freely. I thought it wouldnbe funny that once you entered i would record you on snapchat to get a reaction out of you, because to be honest, you've been looking down the whole day so once you entered i started recording. You didnt notince until you were a foot or two away from me and that's when you killed me. You gave me the cutest smirk i have ever seen. It figuratively melted my heart. You asked smiling "were you recording me?" I said "maybe". I got home and saw a your sc story with a bunch of pills and meds you had to take and texted you something along the lines of "wtf do you have to take all of those?" Few hours passed (i love that you're as bad of a texter as i am) and you texted saying "Yeah im really sick. I have laringitis and faringitis so i cant kiss anyone". R u kidding me. He really does want to kill me. I mean what tf do you expect me to take out from all of that. Yes i want to kiss you and do many inappropiate things to you. Gawd you're such a TEASE. I told you to get well soon though i already told you on wednesday. I hope that you're well enough for you to come to uni tomorrow and see you.

Today Monday I was dreading so hard if i should go to the uni or not, but then i saw your snap story and saw you were there, giving me the perfect incentive for me to go. Classes were cut short (shocker) and you said you wanted to hang out, of course i would love to hang out with you (alone) but another friend of ours tagged along, making it a three person date. You wanted to go to this bakery that you really liked, but for whatever reason you didnt want to eat all alone by yourself, so you decided to treat me and the other friend. I went to the gym in the morning and to be honest i would feel real shitty if right after working out i ate dessert so i insisted on passing your treat. However you insisted and insisted on making me eat (which i hate/love) and finally ordered something. I find it extremely adorable how welcoming and cute you are towards me, it's almost like you are giving me some sort of attention no one ever has given me, and thats something i really do appreciate. After dessert we walked around the mall for a couple of hours until we sat down and just talked. I was obssesed woth your new iphone cover so i just played woth it while we talked. My other friend and i started checking your photo gallery and encountered some pretty cute (not to say embarrassing/ prepubescent) photos of you which i really cherished looking at. And thats it for today. We walked out the mall, you walked towards your car, i walked towards mine. You said bye, i said bye. Until next time.

The last four days have been a major improvement in our "relationship" if i must say. This is a four-day entry so be prepared. Thursday: Not that much happened during classes until we were done and we waited for the elevator. While we waited we talked about how no one answered back to one of our classmates who asked something about hanging out this weekend in the group chat and i told you i was busy. You asked "what are you doing?" I said "i have this event about deep edm music". Then we proceeded to talk about our music tastes and how much you hated certain genres which i found cute for some reason. Friday: Classes were suspended and a bunch of our group decided to head to this cafe to spend some time. It was nice sitting next to you in the car ride, as cheesy as it may sound. I just love it when you open up about things in your life and how you laugh at the most absurd things. I arrived home and took a nap. I woke up, got ready, and got a text from you (something i did not expect). It said "Good luck at your festival tonight, send me videos" (all of this week we've been trying to get streaks on snapchat and we finally achieved it on friday, so it was sorta cool to send him videos on snap). I did not expect that at all, if you were giving me hints earlier this was as direct as it could be. I just texted back "how cute, i'll send you lots of snaps, thanks". And that night i did. Saturday: Saturday was pretty chill for me but it wasn't for you. You were going out with a bucnh of friends to the club, i wanted to text you something but didn't have the courage enough to do it. You sent me snaps as i was falling asleep so i decided to not open them until sunday. Sunday: For whatever reason i woke up at 7 am and viewed your snaps that you sent me from your night out, unfortunately i was pretty drowsy and couldn't manage to get a grasp on what was going on in your snap and fell asleep right after completely forgetting what i saw in your snap. Then around the afternoon you texted me worried and said "hey, idk what i sent you from yesterday... but please ignore it". Jfc fuck me already. Ive never hated myself so much for not remembering a sanp, so i just texted back saying "dont worry, i doubt it was anything bad, were you drinking last night?" We texted for a while after that until the conversation dropped dead. Im looking forward for what this new week is gonna bring, lets see if i manage to hang out with you this weekend.

It’s been four weeks since i first saw you. The fact that im putting my feelings and thoughts into words is completely new for me, well, i guess this whole thing is new for me. To be quite honest, i didnt plan to have a relationship let alone a crush in the university but here i am, starstruck as hell for you. It’s a shame that the first few days i completely ignored your existence instead i was rather interested in your friend, but one day you approached me. As usual, i was minding my own business drawing since no proffesor was present and out of nowhere you came up to me and ask, “is that a dream catcher?” Of course i didn’t expect you to know what i was drawing (it was a mandala) but those words just mesmerized me amd the way you looked at me while you said it left me speechless. I never noticed how beautiful your eyes are or how piercing your gaze is until you spoke to me. Since that moment you grabbed my attention. Every single day i’ve cherished the small talks we have had or the times i had to explain something to you because you didnt understand. And something i never thought i would say is that i always look forward to going to the university just to see you. Yes, you’ve caught me staring, and yes, i’ve caught you staring. The thing about us gays is that we are never certain when another male is gay or not so what is left to do is play a bunch of mind tricks, innuendos and flirting on the dl to find out whether or not you’re into me. I wish we could skip all these “games” that we’re playing and cut to the real shit, but i know this is all a process and i know it’s going to be worth it.