such a loser

who knows? i could get my muse back soon as hell, and you could see me back here raising hell with my ocs in two weeks. or i’ll be back in a month, or this is my last goodbye. i’m not really sure what the future holds, tbh. i just know it has been an absolute privilege being able to write with you guys and share my ideas with y’all. i have nothing but love for everyone here. if anyone would like to keep in contact, just message me on here or add me on discord @ nia#6420. so much love & see u later (hopefully) <3

scar: i swear if evil has a face it belongs to araminta park 😡😡

michaela: damn right it does

For a moment, Michaela considers deleting the message. But knowing D, they’d probably just get more aggressive the more she ignored them. Better not to aggravate the beast more than she (apparently) already had.

Michaela: Look, I’m just trying to get through high school.

valerie’s face soften. “thank you, really..” she was grateful to have the support she had. those who weren’t windors had been so accepting of her downfall and honestly val knew it was coming. once dante died she knew she didn’t fit in anymore and it was only a matter of time before she was demoted. it was okay. but it really made her miss dante so much. “do you ever think of him? or talk to him..? i know it sound crazy but sometimes i text his phone… “

Michaela gave Valerie a small smile. “It’s no big deal,” she said. Though a part of her felt strange about having such a civil conversation with a (former) Windsor, inside she knew that basic kindness shouldn’t feel strange, and that, ultimately, it was the right thing to do. “I think of him every day,” Michaela admitted. “I used to write letters to him and then burn them, like I’m some sappy movie protagonist. I wish I could forget about him, but I just can’t.”

valerie had felt like since dante had passed away that the while world had been against her. thankfully her exile from the windsors wouldn’t be too bad. she was the nicest out of the group and made friends with a lot of people who was on the other side.. for her that would really come in handy now. “they just aren’t nice people.. or at least i know i wasn’t when i was apart of it..” she admitted. “i didn’t belong there and if it hadn’t been for dante i wouldnt have been even considered..”

It was as if popularity was a drug. Everyone wanted it, and the people that got it became addicted to it, doing anything to ensure their access to it, even becoming different. Then, once they were pushed out of the inner circle, they became something else, often something softer. Michaela had seen it happen with Scarlett, her transformation from mean girl to actual friend, and it seemed that Valerie was going through a similar transformation before Michaela’s very eyes. “Well, if it means anything, I think more people would appreciate nice Valerie in the real world, and you’ll probably find somewhere you really belong now.”

valerie shrugged.. she knew the girl didn’t feel an ounce of sympathy for her. and she really couldn’t blame her. the windsors weren’t nice to her so  why would she care if one of them were failing. but she felt like maybe she was wrong.. maybe the girl did care…even  little to offer a ear to listen. “wow…that was really nice of you.” she admitted. “thank you… but i don’t deserve your kindness.’

“Look, I don’t care about what you deserve or retribution or karma,” Michaela insisted. “I just know that high school really sucks when it seems like the entire school is against you, and I know I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t at least try to be nice to you. And for the record, the fact that you question whether you deserve kindness makes you a whole lot more deserving of it than some people here.”

zeke laughed sarcastically. “well then it sucks to be you, nerd. when i am done you can get whatever shit you need.” he pointed out. “until then back the fuck away from me..” he rolled his eyes. “i really don’t give a single fuck what you need to do.”

Michaela rolled her eyes. “Are you doing anything here except standing around and brooding?” she asked. “Because if you’re not, then it shouldn’t be a problem for you to move twelve inches to the right.”

Dani watched as Michaela sat down, she seemed nervous from what Dani could tell. She didn’t expect though that Michaela wanted to talk about Dante of all people. Dani knew that they had a falling out years ago and she never really broached the subject of Dante to Michaela but now here they were.” Sorry to disappoint, but I didn’t know that Dante even had a book of secrets before it was revealed by everyone.” She explained, although she was a little hurt that Micheala would think she would keep something like this a secret.” As much as I would love to help, I don’t have any answers.”

Michaela sighed. She knew she shouldn’t have gotten her hopes up that Dani had something, but she really did want to help Lucas out with his D investigation, and this was another dead end. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have expected you to know anything,” Michaela said. “It’s not like you to do anything bad to anybody on purpose.” She sighed. “Moving on from that, how have you been?”

this girl really was clueless… well that was nice and it didn’t happen much. she sighed. “my friends?” she asked her. “none of them are my friends… at least not now.”

Wait, what? Michaela made a mental note to check the Inferno when this conversation ended. “Well, that really sucks. I’m sorry about that.” She didn’t know what to say. “Well... um... I have experience being unfriended, and I know it really sucks, so if you need someone to talk to or eat lunch with, um, I guess I’m here.” Michaela had no idea what she was saying. All she knew was that she would have liked someone who understood what it felt to be ostracized by the popular kids to extend a hand back when she and Dante stopped being friend.

valerie shook her head. sure she probably should have yelled at her or something but what was the point? it was her own fault for running into her. she gave the girl a sweet smile instead. “no.. really it was my own fault, are you okay?”

“I’m okay. I’m all good,” Michaela said incredulously. She didn’t understand why the Windsor hadn’t started yelling at her yet. “Are... are you okay, though? I mean, you and your friends aren’t usually... nice to me.” It was like she’d stepped into a parallel universe.

a beat passes between them after michaela’s done speaking, and scarlett’s looking up at the millions of stars in the sky, and praying just one would fall so she could make her wish.

“when’d you get so smart?” she nudges michaela’s shoulder, teeth grazing her bottom lip, and really she knows the answer. she’s always been the smarter, or at the very least the more insightful of the two. and perhaps if someone like michaela could see that she was trying, then she wasn’t so bad off afterall.

the chill of the night air whisks by again, and she knows it’s getting later. and despite the fact that she could stay out and talk all night, she would feel terrible if michaela ended up having her punishment extended on her behalf. “we should probably get back, forreal this time” she tells her, smiles a little smile to let her know that she’ll be okay without her.

“but before we do, you gotta promise me that we’ll have tons more adventures this summer” 

her pinky extends, and she knows it’s childish, and doesn’t really bond them, but thinks it could. if they wanted it to. 

“promise?”

Michaela laughed. “I’m not that smart,” she insisted. “I just want to believe that the world doesn’t have to suck.” It was a means of survival. If, for even a single second, Michaela let herself believe that the world was cruel and that people were cruel and that’s just the way it was, she would surely spiral and hate herself as much as the Windsors hate her. No. For her own sanity’s sake, she had to believe in something. She had to believe that people could do good.

Though Michaela wanted to stay out, Scarlett was probably right. She needed to be home soon, or else her mom would notice that something was up. She stood up and sighed.

“I promise,” she said, linking her pinky with Scarlett’s. If there was one thing Michaela learned from her time at Houghton, it was that you don’t take the people who you care about for granted. Real friends were rare, and when they came around, you do your best to keep them around.

zeke raised a brow, wasan’t michaela the one he was supposed to teach a lesson? he looked over at her and sighed. “and your point?” he asked her as he crossed his arms. “move along.. i’m not going anywhere right now so beat it. unless you think you want to do something  about it.,”

Michaela scoffed. People always thought they could take advantage of her just because she was low on the Houghton totem pole. She was sick of it. “I’m retaking my SATs on Saturday. It’ll literally take you only a second to scoot a bit to the right, and then I can get to my prep book, and you can go back to whatever if was you were doing.” 

“Mhm, is it?” Given their hostile relationship, Lysander was taken aback slightly by the fact that his friendliness was returned. It probably had to do with the fact that he had been voted the king of the Windsors. Even an annoying brat like Michaela couldn’t deny being impressed by that. “Perhaps you should have thought of that before harassing me on social media with your pitiful troll comments,” he pointed out, blowing some steam off of his own cup. “I’d say enjoy these pleasantries while you still can, Michaela Han. Tomorrow, I’ll let the hockey team know that your name has been added to the ‘daily dumpster toss’ list.”

Michaela sighed. Apparently good things didn’t last; just like that Lysander was back to his old, bitchy self. “Maybe if you wanted me to be nice to you on social media, you would have been nice to me in real life,” Michaela said, trying to keep her voice as light and jovial as possible, despite how fake she felt. “Well, that doesn’t sound fun. I guess I’’ll remember to bring an extra change of clothes to school for the next few weeks.” Only a few more weeks until school ended. She could do this.

“There are people named Archibald, Michaela,” he countered. “Also, Jenkins. There are probably people named Archibald Jenkins on the planet.” He wasn’t really being defensive so much as cautiously happy about Michaela electing to speak with him. Sometimes, he was given reason to worry about the state of his friendship with her, due to the fact that he’d joined Dante’s circles before his death. “My name’s like, medium-level pretentious, alright?”