Jvna

(via changeling1)

My memory sucks.

I am always tired.

I feel guilty for being a burden to those I love. 

I feel anxious because I can barely keep up with a workload that everybody else seems to be able to do with ease.

I dissociate frequently. 

I feel lazy even when I do my best. 

I feel like being dependent on medication makes me a cheater, like I don’t deserve to feel good.

The medicine works alright, but I still get depressed and hypomanic.

Sometimes I can’t sleep.

I feel chaotic and unhinged and like nothing I do will ever change that.

I tell my friends to see therapists, but I can’t afford good mental health care so I don’t go anymore.

I am envious of people with “normal” brains who have no idea what being this way is like, but also they make me furious because they belittle people like me constantly, spouting overwhelmingly ignorant and maddeningly condescending bullshit.

I am just exhausted by being alive.