M (x_x)M

you're just mad because you're hungry and tired and your legs hurt and you head hurts and you're too hot and you have depression

coupons used to mean something now deals are like HURRY NOW! get 3 free napkins when you spend $75+ 😋

i think avoiding everything is going to save me for real this time

like 2 months ago i saw a single lobster in the grocery store tank that'd somehow lost a rubber band and every other lobster was huddled in the opposite corner of the tank in a big lobster pile (presumably because the freed lobster was an asshole about having a free claw) like. im done with crab in a bucket mentality. You're not even trying to pull everyone else down to get out and climb up yourself, you're just being a dick. Unshackled lobster in a tank mentality

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

affirmations: you are not real, you don’t have feelings, you don’t want anything, this will be over soon

getting older is funny because characters you used to look up to and see as very established and grown up people are like 29

I think we as people who have periods should be able to expel it rapidly all at once like peeing. There's a whole untapped potential out there. I'd let it all go in the back of a police cruiser

Character duo where one *remembers I don’t like fitting characters into trope boxes* is a completely fleshed out and realised person *remembers treating characters as real people and not story devices written with intent is bad* who is written by the author and *remembers death of the author* uh. And *fumbles and drops my pile of queue cards* ah fuck wait no *the menacing horse* what was that.