internet poisoned

My professor himself is an Annoying Film Bro™ he'd be pissed if we showed him up on a film. You'd say "Martin Scorsese" and he'd immediately be like "yes I've seen all of his films and-" but you'd interrupt him with a single hand raised and be like "But have you seen his most legendary film, Goncharov (1973)?" and he'd shut up so fast.

Also FHDKSJS THE PART ABOUT ME ANSWERING YOUR QUESTION I CAN PICTURE IT SO CLEARLY PLEASE

Me: I've seen people argue that Sofia's lipstick being such a deep shade of red in the cocktail scene was out of character for her, but personally I think it was entirely in character, both because of how it symbolically connected her and Katya so naturally, but also because she knew that Katya would try to take a sip from her drink, and the closest Sofia could get to kissing Katya was by having both of their lips touch the same part of her glass. Sofia's red lipstick was actually a declaration of love for Katya, whose colour is primarily red, as well as a way to mark her glass for Katya to drink from. And, since their lipstick matched only in this scene, it looked as though only one person supped from the glass instead of two, both to hide their love in plain sight and to symbolise them slowly becoming one person, for better or for worse, which the cocktail scene marked the beginning of.

You: That's absolutely correct, an excellent analysis. Does anyone else have anything to add?

The class: *dead silence*

John Green, during his time on tumblr, committed the heinous sins of...being neurodivergent and talking openly about it, earnestly interacting with fans in a very direct and unfiltered way, and writing about teenagers navigating first love and sexuality while he himself was an adult. The worst things he ever did were be a little cringe or misspeak, for which he was always prompt to apologize (often whether he really needed to or not).

Yet despite the former two being things tumblr claimed to love and the last one being true of 99.99% of YA authors, in this case a large segment of tumblr users steeped in the early 2010s resurgence of purity culture decided that these things were suspicious and predatory, and used that as an excuse to justify some truly awful behavior.

Which is really all that cancel culture is: the normalization and even celebration of the process of misapplying morality or ethics to dehumanize someone for the express purpose of justifying whatever pain and suffering you want to inflict upon them. Basically, deciding "this person is bad, so I am exempt from affording them basic respect and human dignity, and am allowed to cross any and all otherwise uncrossable lines in order to punish them without damaging my own moral or ethical standing."

Contrary to popular tumblr lore, the infamous "cock monologue" was not the sum total of the harassment, or even the worst of it. Callout blogs issued long lists of "receipts" about how terrible John Green was, most if not all of which were either taken out of context or completely refutable. His works were torn to shreds by people who'd never read them, as evidenced by much of the criticism being obviously and blatantly counter to the actual contents of the books.

Not that it mattered. Once the John Green hate party reached a certain level of critical mass, it became less about who he actually was or what he'd done, and more about proving you were a good person by hating him. That's the natural conclusion of cancel culture, after all: virtue signalling by identifying yourself in opposition to the cancelled parties. They're bad, and I'm good, so I hate them! Or, more often: They're bad, and I hate them, so I'm good!

Before it was over with, John Green had been accused, with no evidence, of being everything from a Nazi to a pedophile and subjected to hate mail and death threats. He eventually left the site for the sake of his own mental health, and because he no longer felt comfortable engaging directly with fans in the same way he once had.

Yet even now, with the benefit of hindsight, and even among those who ostensibly reject purity culture and condem bullying and harassment, very few on tumblr take what was done to John Green as seriously as it should be taken or condemn it as thoroughly as it should be condemned. Which I think is something we need to at least consider doing, given the increasing rise of purity and cancel culture online, and given the recent influx of professional creators eager to interact with fans on a more direct level than they have on other social media.

And my concern is not purely, or even primarily, for the Mike Flanagans and Lynda Carters of the world. I'm far more concerned, actually, for the small, independent or self-published creators in this space, and how much even a very small level of visibility gives too many people a feeling of carte blanche to engage in harassment.

I myself have less than 3k followers on here, a handful of popular posts, and zero notoriety or consequence outside of tumblr whatsoever, and I've been repeatedly told to kill myself for saying such innocuous things as "I don't think censorship is the cure for the world's evils" and "maybe learning the history of communities you want to participate in would be a good idea."

It doesn't have to be hate or harassment. Oftentimes the "cancelling" is a small, vocal handful of people who legitimately do hate the victim, and a surrounding ocean of people who just don't want to get involved. They don't have the energy to figure out what's really going on, they're so upset by the accusations that continuing to engage with them in any way is exhausting and stressful, they're afraid of the guilt, or they just... don't trust themselves.

The result is that the victim isn't just receiving harassment- they're also seeing a flood of asks and posts where people go "hey just so you know, [victim] is a disgusting piece of shit <3 stay safe out there" & people are responding, "omg I had no idea, thank you so much". Not because those people have ill-intent, but because it's easier.

They're quietly losing friends, followers, and supporters left and right. They're finding themselves suddenly alone, isolated, and lacking explanation. Oftentimes they won't find out for weeks or months that someone has dropped them. Oftentimes they will find people they thought were their friends have turned on them openly; again, not out of malice, but out of a desire to protect themselves.

I've been on both sides of this. And I remember what it was like, in 2014 or whatever, to see all of those "your fave is problematic" posts and take them at face value- because I didn't trust my own judgement, and if someone said it was wrong to enjoy something I loved, they must be right. And because I wanted to avoid the conflict involved in investigating and potentially disagreeing with that.

There's a creeping feeling, when you see these kinds of things, that it would be best to just stay out of it entirely. It's easier just to not read John Green's books anymore, not talk about them, and silently move on- and that's pretty harmless, right?

impact. I promise you, it

really, really does.

Kaburagi, episode 1: I am merely a cog in the machine of late stage capitalism.

High King Feanor: mortally wounded by several balrogs

High King Maedhros: willingly burned alive

High King Fingolfin: stomped to death in a 1v1 with morgoth

High King Fingon: got his head cleaved open by balrogs

(Okay, you get the point).

High King Gil-Galad: in the event of my death, Elrond, I crown you H—

You would not believe these blogs, If ten million Goncharovs Lit up your dash as you tried to read. 'Cause they fill your tumblr lair And leave shitposts everywhere You'd think it weird but we would just like and share.

We'd like to act like we believe that someone made this movie. We'll all insist that this film exists and we'll analyze its themes 'Cause everything is never as it memes.

Now I've seen a thousand notes From 10K fake movie posts As we try to bring this film to life. A clock stops above his head, An ice pick drips inky red, A knife, a life is just hanging by a thread.

Andrey and Goncharov from Goncharov (1973).

Me whilst practicing: *screams in frustration every 5 seconds*

Me whilst practicing: *screams about composer’s decision to add something in piece*

Me whilst practicing: *apologizes for disrespect towards composer and hope they don’t hate me in their grave*

Me whilst practicing: *stomping foot in frustration*

Me whilst practicing: *scrutinizes instrument because it made a ‘funny’ sound and it was totally not my 'fault’*

My whilst practicing: *talking to self*

Me whilst practicing: *yelling “YES!! Loudly when you get a hard chunk down*

Me whilst practicing: *putting music and instrument aside and pacing*

But I had a nightmare too. Now that’s not entirely uncommon, I have them fairly often and they’re something that I’ve gotten used to. But this one was a bad one.

The bad ones are the ones that I don’t wake up from. They’re the ones where my friends or loved ones are hurt in front of me and the only thing I can do is watch and cry and scream in the mad hope that it’s all just some terrible dream. Nothing ever happens to me in these dreams so I’m trapped within until I wake up of my own accord. But tonight was different.

Tonight, I felt something lick my hand and woke up in a cold sweat. There on the side of my bed was Chica, licking my hand and looking up at me with concern. Now I’m not sure how much a dog understands about nightmares and dreams and such, but she’s never woken me up from a nightmare before. I’d like to think that some part of her recognized what I was going through and she just wanted to wake me up to protect me from the scary monsters. I have never been more grateful to have Chica by my side than in that moment.