Marie

“I feel like I’m drowning”

…

oh.

Give me Sirius Black who knew he liked Remus romantically. Who wanted to say something but was stopped by an overwhelming fear of rejection because that was what he’d known all his life (courtesy of his parents).

Sirius knew he liked Remus but anytime someone asked him how he felt he would deny it because he was terrified that it would get back to Remus and it would ruin their relationship forever.

Give me Sirius who knew how he felt about Remus but was scared of it. Scared because he’d been told it was wrong. Scared that Remus would think so too.

Sirius was scared because what Remus thought mattered. He wanted Remus to approve of him. He was scared Remus wouldn’t look at him the same way anymore.

Give me Sirius who was denying his feelings for Remus from himself too. He knew that he was in love but he wouldn’t allow himself to think it because then it would be real.

Sirius (answering the phone): Hello?

Hope: Sirius?

Sirius: Hope? What are you doing up?

Hope: Today when I told you to stop licking the batter from the whisk you looked sort of like a kicked puppy.

Sirius: What

Hope: I don’t mean to pry but…

Sirius: Yeah?

Hope: Sirius, dear, did you get traumatized in some way as a child?

Sirius: WHAT

Hope: Was it your parents?

Sirius: …yes

Hope: Do you want to talk about it?

Sirius: …

Sirius: psst

Remus:

Sirius: Moony!

Remus:

Sirius: Moonbeam, moons, moonshine, moon-

Remus: what do you want?

Sirius: Do you want a kiss?

Remus:

Remus: wHat

Sirius: yes or no?

Remus: Sirius this is the third time you’ve done this this week

Sirius: do you want a kiss? yes or no?

Remus: what type of kiss?

Sirius: answer the question

Remus: stop it!

Sirius: yes or no Moony?

Remus: …yes?

Sirius: *hands Remus a Hershey’s kiss*

Sirius: here you go :)

Remus (taking the chocolate): I hate you so much

Sirius: :(

Remus (eating the chocolate): …thank you

I think it’s because they make him feel like a real person.

I am forever pushing the “James struggles with feeling like a real person agenda” and I think that initially Lily/Regulus genuinely didn’t like him as a person and that is what made him initially attracted to them. James is one of those “everyone loves him, he’s a literal ball of sunshine” people. But James is nothing if not a people pleaser so he’s always trying to be someone that people like and sometimes he’s not sure that the person he is, is real or just an act.

But they don’t like the person that he shows everyone (because they can subconsciously feel that something is off with James). And no one (excluding Snape and people he doesn’t like because he’s not performing for them) has ever told James that they don’t like him.

If i said jegulus…

Left card: I think you should just go for it!