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@messervixen
Conan Gray read my diary again š

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āOne of my students told me that they didnāt like chocolate and I just remember thinking āwhat kind of life is that?ā - Remus Lupin probably
Sirius Black who surrounds himself with other people, who is always loud, who is always moving and doing something because the silence gives him too much time to think
I would never relate to Choices Regulus what are you even talking ab-
āI feel like Iām drowningā
ā¦
oh.
never mind then.
RIP Remus Lupin. You wouldāve loved saying āthat sounds like a you problemā

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i have lots of sexual fantasies such as getting through a day without a headache
TW: Internal homophobia (Walburga and Orion nothing could make me like you)
Give me Sirius Black who knew he liked Remus romantically. Who wanted to say something but was stopped by an overwhelming fear of rejection because that was what heād known all his life (courtesy of his parents).
Sirius knew he liked Remus but anytime someone asked him how he felt he would deny it because he was terrified that it would get back to Remus and it would ruin their relationship forever.
Give me Sirius who knew how he felt about Remus but was scared of it. Scared because heād been told it was wrong. Scared that Remus would think so too.
Sirius was scared because what Remus thought mattered. He wanted Remus to approve of him. He was scared Remus wouldnāt look at him the same way anymore.
Give me Sirius who was denying his feelings for Remus from himself too. He knew that he was in love but he wouldnāt allow himself to think it because then it would be real.
Sirius was denying his feelings to himself because he didnāt want to feel that way. He just wished he could be normal.
2 in the morningā¦
Sirius (answering the phone): Hello?
Hope: Sirius?
Sirius: Hope? What are you doing up?
Hope: Today when I told you to stop licking the batter from the whisk you looked sort of like a kicked puppy.
Sirius: What
Hope: I donāt mean to pry butā¦
Sirius: Yeah?
Hope: Sirius, dear, did you get traumatized in some way as a child?
Sirius: WHAT
Hope: Was it your parents?
Sirius: ā¦yes
Hope: Do you want to talk about it?
Sirius: ā¦
Sirius (voice breaking): YeAh thatād be reALy nice aCTually-
Itās the eighteenth of august so naturally Iām doing my annual reread of summer 1975 & summer 1977.
Happy birthday Grant Chapman and live laugh love All The Young Dudes
Just listened to the lyrics specifically of Bohemian Rhapsody and 0/10 would not recommend. Absolutely awful. If you kin Sirius Black AT ALL do yourself a favor and never go with 500 feet of that song because it is rough. TCOPTP Sirius had every right to start sobbing the first time he heard it because itās genuinely horrific.

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At his core Remus is just that one teacher who āhas a wife and kidsā
Sometime during class
Sirius: psst
Remus:
Sirius: Moony!
Remus:
Sirius: Moonbeam, moons, moonshine, moon-
Remus: what do you want?
Sirius: Do you want a kiss?
Remus:
Remus: wHat
Sirius: yes or no?
Remus: Sirius this is the third time youāve done this this week
Sirius: do you want a kiss? yes or no?
Remus: what type of kiss?
Sirius: answer the question
Remus: stop it!
Sirius: yes or no Moony?
Remus: ā¦yes?
Sirius: *hands Remus a Hersheyās kiss*
Sirius: here you go :)
Remus (taking the chocolate): I hate you so much
Sirius: :(
Remus (eating the chocolate): ā¦thank you
Sirius: :)
Guys, you know the whole āJamesā type is people who are mean to himā thing?
I think itās because they make him feel like a real person.
I am forever pushing the āJames struggles with feeling like a real person agendaā and I think that initially Lily/Regulus genuinely didnāt like him as a person and that is what made him initially attracted to them. James is one of those āeveryone loves him, heās a literal ball of sunshineā people. But James is nothing if not a people pleaser so heās always trying to be someone that people like and sometimes heās not sure that the person he is, is real or just an act.
But they donāt like the person that he shows everyone (because they can subconsciously feel that something is off with James). And no one (excluding Snape and people he doesnāt like because heās not performing for them) has ever told James that they donāt like him.
So he tries to win both of them over but it doesnāt work because heās trying to win them over with this not-real-person side of himself and he only wins them over once they see the real James. So by not liking this fake person and seeing through his mask theyāre inadvertently helping him learn how to be himself and not be putting on a show all the time.
If i said jegulusā¦
Left card: I think you should just go for it!
Right card: I think you should just go
I visited USC recently and am sad to report that Jeremy Knox was nowhere to be found š

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i know the normal amount of pain is zero but like. that cant be true right.
chronic pain is always described as like debilitating and horrible and awful but you push through. my pain is like oh this sucks a little but its literally fine. and then like sometimes it gets annoying bad but its only happened a handful of times ever that it was like so bad i couldnt push myself to do stuff. like im literally fine its just annoying so like is this really an issue or am i making a big deal out of nothing
Is the normal amount of pain zero???????!!!
Does not everyone just live with some constant level of mild discomfort?? That sometimes bleeds into searing pain????
itās crazy how we all sleep in different positions. i sleep on my side, my ex sleeps with everyone and yāall sleep on i hate it here
NO BECAUSE I SPENT TWO HOURS LISTENING TO I HATE IT HERE YESTERDAY ITS SO GOOD