Fondue For Two

I’m not entirely sure I agree. I think the shortest I can successfully pull off is the wig I used during my Funny Girl run. I appreciate the offer but I have my own hairstylist that’s approved by the production team of West Side Story. I can’t have anybody ruining my hair.

Oh yeah, you did look super hot in that. I was real disappointed that they didn’t give Santana one when she stepped in for you that one time, because we could have totally made that into a sex thing. 

Speaking of apartment makeovers, I should know if I’ve been approved for that apartment in Brooklyn by the end of the week. If I am, I’d love for you to help me decorate it. Would you be interested in that?

YES YES I AM! Oh gosh, I have to get my swatches out of storage, and get some pages together. You have to send me a floor plan. And I need to find a hardware store that’s open. We are doing this.

BLAINE: Um... we've only been broken up for... oh jeez, less than a year I think.

BLAINE: I've gone on a couple of dates. I started talking to Dave again. We had dinner together and it was nice.

BLAINE: I just every time I try to go, I think about Kurt and just how weird it is that we're not together anymore.

BRITTANY: WAIT HOLD THE FRIDGE that's amazing and i'm SUPER offended that Dave hasn't told me! But I guess he's more Santana's friend than mine BUT STILL. rude.

Quarantine haircuts? No. While I’m talented at many things, cutting hair certainly isn’t one of them. I love my hair too much to put it through that. Have you?

I don’t know, I think you could rock one of those bowl cuts. I hear they’re all the rage in those weird areas of New York I end up in when I’ve been out all night. You know.. Those places where everyone dresses like they’re from the 90s and porn-stashes are the thing. But my hair stylist is this guy that also sells cat supplements so he’s cool with me just going over to his stall in the market to get my hair done. If you want, I could totes refer you.

I’m sorry that you have to wait even longer for your dream home, Britt. Just think about how excited you’re going to be once you finally are able to move it. It’s going to feel 100 times better.

I know right, it’s gonna be amazing. I’m getting real talented at the whole decorating thing too, ‘cause all my friends keep dating and then breaking up to date and move in with someone new. So there’s always a new apartment to give makeovers to every other week.

Quinn: Fantastic! This actually gives me a reason to put on makeup. What would you like to discuss?

BLAINE: That's so dreamy.

BLAINE: *sigh*

BLAINE: I'm so proud of you guys. I can't wait for it to happen.

BRITTANY: We're just the luckiest.

Quinn: Since we have nothing better to do, would you still like to interview me on your show?

BLAINE: I think we'll be okay. I might use my sweat as a little bit of hair gel but I'm still a clean person.

BLAINE: That's awesome. If you ever need somebody too scout out the property, let me know.

I’m glad that they’re both happy. I’m sure it makes life easier for you and Santana.

Of definitely. I feel like life is at a happy standstill at the moment, which is cool. I just wish things were less crazy outside with everything going on so we could finish buying our home.

I never thought I’d actually run out of things to do on my general To-Do list but yet, I have. For anybody wondering, it takes 2 weeks of being trapped indoors to complete 203 tasks.

Did you even get into doing one of those quarantine haircuts? If so, I need pics stat!

I was wondering where they were all disappearing to. Your cat has a therapist?

I don’t know how he would function without one. He’s been doing better than ever in AA and battling his gambling addictions, but i think that’s partly settling down now he’s gone up in age. Lady T finds him much more tolerable and they argue considerably less.

BLAINE: Okay, I promise I won't die. Getting the whole crew together! I love it. What's a good estimate of when you close on the house?

BLAINE: Also where is the house? Is it in the city?

BRITTANY: I'm not sure! The virus is putting a gross hold on everything but maybe in the next month or so!

Bear Farts? That’s like the weirdest name I ever heard for a candle. Anyway… yeah, they had horses, they still got 2 and a cow, a few coats and some chickens.  

I don’t think bear farts would really smell like that though. So don’t get your hopes up when you go to the zoo. That’s awesome! I love farms. my uncle used to have a goat that ate my shoes, but that wasn’t as fun.

BLAINE: The only thing that would hold me back is if I was dying or I had something due that weekend. Who are you thinking of inviting?

Even though I still don’t have an apartment to move into yet, guess who has officially just moved to New York? This girl! I want to thank Santana and Brittany for letting me completely take over their spare bedroom. I appreciate you both so much.

It’s been the best having you! And I know the Tubbingtons are liking having a new friend to play with... Also totally sorry that L.T has been stealing your socks. he has a fetish and we’ve been trying to get him to go back to his therapist but he’s defiant as ever. 

I’m just still in shock people think it’s okay to buy such a thing. I mean, to each their own and all that, but some things make you wonder about people’s sanity. Know what I mean? Fall scents are awesome. I also love spring ones, especially fresh-cut grass. Takes me back to spending days on my grandparents’ farm. Good times. 

I do have one called Bear Farts that smells amazing. That’s kinda fresh cut grass smell! And tobacco and some kinda fruitiness. Did they have horses??