♡

my mom told me this story tonight about my grandfather. she said when he was a little boy he was afraid robbers would break into his house in the middle of the night and try to abduct him out of his bed. he thought that they would be able to feel that he was the shape of a little boy under the covers and know to grab him. so he would try to fall asleep in the shape of a letter of the alphabet. so that they would feel for him and be like "oh it's just the letter R, not a kidnappable child"

actually kinda funny to me that fanfiction is known as a hobby for cringe 13 year olds because personally over half of the fanfic authors i know are married 30 year olds with mediocre admin jobs they attend to inbetween posting chapters of their latest gay sex epic adventure

how can i admire you without it getting weird. and if it gets weird will you mind

debbie downer and negative nancy should lez out

For me, censorship laws are a lot like the death penalty. There are people I wish would die, but I don't want the government to have any say over who lives or dies (because then they can stretch laws out to justify killing someone they dont like). There are stories that I think are reprehensible and should have never been written, but I don't want the government to have any say over which stories are reprehensible (because then they can stretch out what they deem wrong out to fit anything they don't like)

“no one’s ever mad at me unless they tell me so” is the best assumption i’ve ever made

Ohhh that last addition opens my eyes in a big way, thank you.

A customer asked for pickles on their sub and I (dumbass) reached for the cucumbers. They quickly went “oh, no, I want pickles!” and I immediately said “they could’ve been pickles. in another life” ????? Why did I get hired????????

oh shit my leitmotif is on here hold my drink

FREE MY ETHNIC GIRLIES FROM RHINOPLASTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR NOSE BUMP IN FINE LEAVE IT ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOUNG BROWN AND BLACK GIRLS: IGNORE THE WHITE INFLUENCER TELLING YOU TO GET BOTOX OR A NOSE JOB!!!!! YOUR FACE IS BEAUTIFUL AND YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE JUST AS YOU ARE ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

Also like. It used to be like that. I think some people forget we had a relatively ad-free internet.

thank you, weird bisexuals, love you, weird bisexuals