Mermaid trapped on land...

A while back I heard my friend (male) insult another dude by saying, “You look like the kind of guy who wouldn’t go to Wal-Mart to buy his girlfriend a box of tampons” and I still think about that crowning insult sometimes

My dad once called another guy “someone who thinks loading the dishwasher once in a while makes him less of a man”

I like your dad already

one time my dad’s boss was giving him shit for always leaving work early so he could get home and help my mom with me when i was a newborn and his boss said “i’ve never changed a diaper in my life” really proudly and my dad responded “i’d be ashamed to ever admit i was that worthless of a husband”

oh WOW

This is by far my most popular post.

you know what? fuck it, man. the world is held in the fists of people who like to break things. at this point i’m saying who gives a shit. wear that victorian dress you don’t have an excuse for. dress up like a witch, pointed hat and all. who cares anymore. why worry about it when there’s bigger stuff to worry on. i’m saying. yeah, this lipstick is too dark, wanna share? i’m saying go talk to her, tell her that you like her hair. i’m saying she’s out of my league but i’m still swinging, i’m saying yeah i’m in a ballgown and it’s a pta meeting. what about it. eat the extra brownie, tell her your feelings. i’m saying if nothing matters than we might as well give nothing meaning.

This is so inspiring

follow for more optimist nilihism

yella creens

“handfools of yella crayens”

GOD

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

i think we’ve gotten as close to a real life Howler as we can get

this is literally the funniest thing Ive ever seen in my life

why it’s foot look like a duck

the fair trade latte fuckery hath slain me. 

#flower shop/tattoo artist au is out #suit shop/nerd store au is in

the big wolves are his younger sisters

Okay I’ve literally reblogged this prob a hundred times but it’s the best post ever so here we are again.

guys… I don’t know if you know this but… if you wake up early… there’s so many more hours in the day