Not that anyone asked but I here's some opinions on the following in case onlookers wonder where I stand:
On Sex and Gender:
Sex and gender are not the same thing. The way I understand it is sex is to nature as gender is to nurture. Sex is biological, gender is sociological.
Human sex is binary, based upon the type of gamete a human's body plan is organized to support the production of, either small gametes (sperm) or large gametes (eggs).
There are more chromosomal variations beyond XX female and XY male. Those variations do not result in a third type of gamete, nor, to my knowledge, have they ever resulted in a human who can produce both eggs and sperm.
An intersex condition does not make a human something other than male or female, though a person with an intersex condition might identify otherwise, just as a perisex/dyadic person might identify otherwise.
A fertile female and an infertile female are the same sex, whether the infertile female was born infertile or became infertile over the course of her life.
A fertile male and an infertile male are the same sex, whether the infertile female was born infertile or became infertile over the course of his life.
Gender is socially constructed. Female people are not innately feminine, male people are not innately masculine. A masculine/unfeminine female is not unfemale, just as a feminine/unmasculine male is not unmale.
I think there could be a biological component to gender dysphoria that can help explain the disconnect some people feel between their actual sexed body and their perceived sexed body, but I am not convinced that "brain sex" is a reliably proven explanation.
Everyone regardless of sex and gender identity can have any personality trait, any interests, any hobbies, any skills, any talents, any aesthetic preferences, any strengths or weakness, any likes and dislikes. To insist that female people are naturally more nurturing, emotional, and submissive (bioessentialism) or being nurturing, emotional, and submissive indicates that one is womanly (gender essentialism), is reductive and limiting.
Identifying as a different gender than the one associated with your sex (femininity for female people, masculinity for male people) does not change/override your sex.
Removal of the gonads (and uterus if you are female), reconstruction of external genitalia to resemble those of the opposite sex, hormone replacement therapy, masectomies and cosmetic surgery can help a person resemble the opposite sex. These things do not literally change one's sex. There's a reason the language has changed from "sex change operation" towards "gender affirmation/confirmation surgery".
I repeat: Medical science cannot change a human person from male to female or from female to male. You cannot go from being a human person of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs, distinguished biologically by the production of gametes (ova) that can be fertilized by male gametes (female) into a human person of or denoting the sex that produces small, typically motile gametes, especially spermatozoa, with which a female may be fertilized or inseminated to produce offspring (male) or vice versa.
Cisgender VS transgender is a false binary. Not everyone has a gender identity, and declaring one doesn't have a gender identity does not make somebody "agender", a word that is, ironically, yet another gender label. Many people, myself included, only call themself a man or a woman because of their sex, not because they identify with the socio-cultural ideal of what a man or woman is.
Trans women (except in the rare circumstance they were incorrectly sexed as male due to an intersex condition and their actual sex is female) are not female, and that's okay. Trans men (except in the rare circumstance they were incorrectly sexed as female due to an intersex condition and their actual sex is male), are not male, and that's okay. Nonbinary people, intersex or not, are not a third sex beyond male or female, and that's okay! Me saying you are or are not the same sex as me, and that therefore we may or may not share experiences, and that we may or may not have different needs, is not me saying you do not exist or that you don't matter.
You are people worthy of safety and dignity. I wish you safety, dignity, self acceptance, inner peace. I don't want you to kill yourself. I don't want you to be killed. I want to help you live your life without fear of ostracization and violence.
On bodily autonomy:
I am pro choice, no exceptions. Nobody should be pressured to keep or abort a pregnancy no matter the circumstances. An individual woman's choice is not eugenics.
People should be allowed to do with their own body as they please. I also believe that choices do not exist in a vacuum.
The makeup industry and the plastic surgery industry, for example, have a lot to gain from preying on body dysmorphia, insecurity, and ever-changing beauty trends. We are not immune to propaganda.
I will neither shame people who elect to undergo surgical cosmetic body modification, nor will I condone it as a healthy solution to body dysmorphia.
On Sex and Relationships
There is never a circumstance in which it is unacceptable to decline sex with anyone, at any time, for any reason.
While sexual arousal without release can be uncomfortable, nobody is obligated to help you achieve release. No human has ever died from a lack of sex. Sex is not a need, like nourishment.
There is an appropriate time and place to have sex or masturbate, and you're not being subjected to some injustice by being asked to abstain around a nonconsenting public.
That being said, it is normal and reasonable to want (not demand) sex. It is normal and reasonable to want a partner with whom you are sexually compatible.
There are many valid reasons to have sex, and maybe (especially in the case of an asexuality), sexual attraction isn't always necessary in order to have sex, but that doesn't mean a lack of sexual attraction is by any means a "bad" reason to decline sex. It's a great reason to decline sex, in fact!
A person cannot force themself to feel genuinely sexually attracted to another person, no matter how badly they want to. Therapy might reduce fear or revulsion, but it cannot create attraction.
Going back to bodily autonomy, I believe that people should be allowed to have as much or as little sex, with as few or as many partners as they want, and also that that choice does not exist in a vacuum. Sex can be wonderful and healing. Sex can be a form of self harm. Check in with yourself. Personally I think you shouldn't have sex with somebody unless you, at minimum, trust them.
Coerced consent is not consent. If you are having sex with somebody who would not give you a second glance, except that they need to keep a roof over their head and put food on the table and you are financially compensating them, their consent is financially coerced.
Same gender attraction is not superior to same sex attraction. Homosexuals should not be expected to open their dating pool to members of the opposite sex, regardless of how much a person has altered themselves to resemble the same sex.
On the q word
If you want to use it for yourself and other consenting people, be my guest. Have at it. I'm not lord high gatekeeper.
I am going to be annoyed when you apply it as a general label to a group I happen to be a part of. The "queer community" does not involve this homosexual.
I'm still going to tag mentions of it as "q slur", because while it isn't one to you it still is to many people.
I am not queer, I am a homosexual, same-sex attracted, lesbian, gay woman.
I stopped liking the word ever since I found out that "schmear the queer" (aka beat up the campy Jewish kid) is the reason my dad has a chipped tooth.
Am I a T.E.R.F (trans exclusionary radical feminist)?
Firstly, most modern radical feminists will probably tell you they exclude male people from their feminism based on sex; they do not exclude trans people from their feminism based on gender identity.
I consider myself a women's liberationist. I want to dismantle the system known as patriarchy that posits male as superior, female as inferior and I believe to do that, female people must be recognized as a distinct sex class one cannot identify into or out of.
There are ideas that come from radical feminism that I agree with.
There are ideas that come from radical feminism that I disagree with.
I will sometimes refer to myself as "radfem adjacent", and tag my posts with tags that are popular in the "radblr" community.
If anything I've said makes me a t.e.r.f. in your view, you're entitled to your opinion.
What else?
If reading an untagged-except-for-my-username pinned post on my unsearchable blog makes you upset, go on and be upset, feel your feelings, express them if you like, but also maybe block me and get off my blog for your own health? I'll block you back if you want.
That's all for now, love u.
