Mentionables

The whole day was one of the most beautiful I have witnessed and one of the most important events I have felt a part of. I remember saying to my friend how I love moments like these, moments where I’m surrounded by so many people that I feel so small and more like a cohesive group. Attached to others instead of just myself and my personal problems, my tiny problems compared to what this 49th march represents. There were thousands of people, a sea of color worn on people of all backgrounds, continuing on for blocks and blocks as if the streets of Manhattan turned into veins that pumped and flowed with rainbow-tinted blood. It was powerful, and I couldn’t stop smiling. It is not just a celebration though, political messages on signs protesting Trump and other crucial issues were heavily involved in the parade and on the sidewalks.

The parade also brought with it themes of body positivity and health. Attendees were undressed at varying levels, including many who were topless. This was one of those situations – which there are few of – where people who have breasts can dress the way they feel without as much concern of being harassed. Bare skin didn’t ask – it demanded to be accepted: Accept our bodies for the way they are, and accept us for what we do with them. One of my favorite parts of the day was walking through Washington Square Park where some people were dancing in the fountain in their underwear. It felt like freedom, like a sigh of relief.

An area with vendors was set up so that people could take home health-related items such as flyers, condoms, and sunscreen-infused lip balm. A lot of the parade floats were from healthcare organizations. I was happy to see this in addition to the overall point of the parade since health often relates to sexuality. From safer sex to support groups, it’s great to have reliable resources involved.

I’d go back in a heartbeat. And that’s what Pride was like in my eyes:

All of the people in the vein-like streets,

Flowing through,

Pumping the heart of the city,

Creating a life force that will survive.

Happy Pride Month !

{Next year will be the 50th Pride Parade - and 50 years since The Stonewall Inn’s patrons fought back for their rights against the police who continually raided their bar. Back then in 1969, it was illegal for bars to serve alcohol to anyone known to be or thought of to be gay:

https://thestonewallinnnyc.com/the-stonewall-inn-story/2017/4/4/ntmsg5ni7iixxdjimmg16hz6dvsi4v}

What’s more is this also means that other people are affected negatively. Human behavior and all that comes with it is like a circle. What one person is experiencing will at some point effect someone else, continuing on and on, reaching more people. We all impact one another in both subtle and obvious ways, and health is a huge, multifaceted part of everyone’s life that plays out daily like this. This is why we are calling men’s health the missing link.

It is also worthwhile to ask, what exactly influences men to take care of their health less? For instance, do health care organizations and providers have a history of not promoting men’s health as much? In an article on men’s health from 2014, the World Health Organization reveals that in many countries men do not take care of their health as well as women and that this can be reflected by health care providers and a country’s overall health care system: “To the best of our knowledge, only three countries – Australia, Brazil and Ireland – have to date attempted to address men’s burden of ill health through the adoption of national, male-centered strategies. Compounding this neglect by policy-makers are negative stereotypes of men on the part of many health-care providers. For instance, some assume that men are largely disinterested in their health – an attitude that can, in turn, discourage men from engaging with health services.” (http://www.who.int/bulletin/volumes/92/8/13-132795/en/).

Another influence of men’s health can be tied to the way masculinity is often defined. With the mass media effect that television, movies, and music have; as well as comments and opinions from peers, friends, and family, both men and women are often told to stay stuck inside their confining boxes of gender. For men, some familiar and potentially damaging ideas of masculinity are: no pain no gain, man up, be strong, be rebellious.

Health is an enormous, un-ending issue that is not easy to chip away at. However, even though there are a lot of men who are not living their lives as well as possible, the good news is that with the increasing attention and conversation being made about men’s health and the discrepancies that exist, a difference can be made in the health of men and of everyone else.

We hope this inspires all people to be more considerate of their health and others.

References:

http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/mars-vs-venus-the-gender-gap-in-health

https://us.movember.com

We need this

This information

All of us regardless of how we were made

Or how we use it

Don't be stupid please, the one's who take care of us

Their ideas are well-intentioned

But need improving

So much could be said

Some things should be free

Some things should be free

Don't put the burden on me

Don't let this be one-sided!

When we are all infected

Don't let this be one-sided

Unless - want it to stay the same as it's ever been?

Some things should be free

Some things should be

Condoms should be

Dental dams should be

Morning after pill should be

Health it should be

***It is time that all who know of the organization become aware of its services for men and realize the full potential that this has.***

The healthcare offered varies among the different health centers but include: STD/STI testing and treatment, colon, prostate, and testicular cancer screening, sexual health and reproductive education, access to condoms, male infertility screening, getting Pregnancy Options Counseling with a partner, and more!

All of this information can be found on their website (https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/men), yet it does not seem to be as widely known as the services for women. We are not exactly sure why Planned Parenthood does not make it more obvious that they have male patients and welcome more of them, but it only makes sense to increase promotion of men’s health along with women’s health because sexuality, sexual health, and reproduction effect (almost) everyone! It is a part of our lives, a part of our human anatomy.

It would be amazing if Planned Parenthood were to develop a men’s health advertising campaign (Mentionables.org offers to help!). Doing so would help increase the amount of male patients, creating better health for men and the people they have sex and relationships with (Did you know that men still tend to take care of their heath less than women do? Let's change this!). It could also increase positive opinion about Planned Parenthood by creating more understanding and acceptance of the organization as a place that provides so much more than abortions, making government de-funding less likely of a possibility.

So, let’s get this started! There is already a huge effort towards Planned Parenthood, but it can be expanded and become stronger by adding men’s health to the conversation. Let’s gather together, learn, and let our voices be heard so we and others become more aware that sexual health and reproduction are also men’s health issues. Even just educating others when the topic comes up by pointing out that men need the same access to healthcare and education that women do, and that there are men who go to Planned Parenthood for these reasons, can start to make a difference in the minds and health of us all.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Mentionables.org is focused on helping people, so if you agree with this article please share it with others who may find it helpful too. We can spread the word that what Planned Parenthood provides is important for everyone!

Take care, xoxo,

- Mentionables / B. Sounds

*Correction/In addition: We would like to pose a question to get people to think even more: Do a lot of people not know of all the services Planned Parenthood provides because the organization does not talk about and advertise as much for men's health, OR is it because the long-standing abortion issue blinds people from realizing that they provide so much more?

Garbage, Sex is Not the Enemy.   “The institution curses curiosity”

2. Garbage, Androgyny.   “Boys in the girls room, girls in the mens room”

3. Britney Spears, Touch of My Hand.   “I’m not afraid of the things that I dream”

4. Britney Spears, Get Naked (I Got a Plan).   “As long as you want it, come with me, we can do it baby, baby, baby”

5. Demi Lovato, Confident.   “What’s wrong with being confident?”

6. Demi Lovato, Cool for the Summer.   “Don’t be scared ‘cause I’m your body type”

7. Prince and The Revolution, Kiss.

8. Justin Timberlake, FutureSex LoveSound.   “Do you like it like this? Do you like it like that?”

9. Boy George, Same Thing in Reverse.   “It’s the same thing in reverse. Nothing better, nothing worse”

10. Lady Gaga, Born This Way.

11. Michael Jackson, Don’t Stop ’Til You Get Enough.

12. Tweet, (Oops) Oh My.   “Ooh, I’m turning red, who could this be?”

13. Christina Aguilera, Sex for Breakfast.

14. Paula Cole, Feelin’ Love.   “You make me feel like the Amazon’s running between my thighs”

15. Jason Derulo, Talk Dirty.

16. Janet Jackson, If.   “And you don’t know that I’ve been dreaming of you in my fantasy”

17. LMFAO, Sexy and I Know It.

18. Bloodhound Gang, The Bad Touch.   “You and me baby ‘aint nothing but mammals”

19. Elvis Presley, Fever.

Among the several influences that can hinder someone’s view of their anatomy, it is easy to imagine that if clothing did not exist these insecurities would hardly be an issue. In a way, clothing restrictions and laws set us up for failure to thinking negatively of how we all are in our most natural state. How are we supposed to get a good sense of normal human variation if we do not get to see much of it except for our own?

But of course clothing cannot be blamed! Clothing does not have a voice to insult people or a mind to have an opinion about the bodies it covers. The source of the issue lies in how people have created a certain perspective, how realistic anatomy is not always recognized or looked at in a positive light. We are conditioned by mass media and the people we interact with to believe that there are bad, unmentionable parts of ourselves that are only allowed to be seen and touched under sexual circumstances. But hiding ourselves until that point – say for thirteen to seventeen years – (when people often start sharing their sexuality with others) has an effect because most of us already have been thinking poorly about some aspect of our bodies without having conversations or being educated by parents or school about it.

  Similarly, it is interesting to mention that people would probably have a better opinion of themselves if simply: they saw more naked people. Heterosexually speaking at least, females and males will see the opposite sex naked much more than they see the bodies of their own sex. Only in super close, open relationships do people sometimes see their parents or friends undressed. People who are gay and bisexual potentially have less body shame because it is more likely that they have seen a variety of their own sex naked and thus will become more comfortable with themselves.

It is not only what we see though, it is also what we think about. People who struggle with poor body image often have negative thoughts that come back to mind, yet are not always fully aware of when they are occurring. A key in creating a better body image is to take the beliefs and thoughts that have been passed down to us and change them by replacing them with more positive thoughts.

Some common negative thoughts:

“I look weird, unattractive, ugly” “My butt/breasts/chest/nipples/penis/testicles/vulva is too big/too small” “I’m not symmetrical” “I shouldn’t have hair there” “I’m not masculine enough” “I’m not feminine enough”

These thoughts are often an internal dialogue that are never shared, not even with close friends and family. But if we shared these thoughts more we would discover that we are not alone in them and not alone in how our bodies are. The truth is that people have hair everywhere (pretty much everywhere but palms of hands, soles of feet, & lips), no one is truly symmetrical, body parts come in all sizes and shapes, and the way you look does not equal your worth.

In a time when there is still such pressure to look a certain way, influencing people to have complaints about their appearance, along with options for cosmetic procedures increasing, we need to be reminded that it is absolutely possible to accept, enjoy, and love our bodies just the way they were made!

So, don’t feel bad. You were born normal, you were just not born in a society with a realistic, rational outlook of the human body and what it means.

Now, some advice on how to get over body shame:

A huge part of life would be so visually boring if everyone looked alike. No one is completely identical to another so embrace your unique form, because no one will ever be exactly like you! And how cool is that? There are billions of humans and none of us are truly the same. It’s pretty amazing, really.

Not everyone prefers what you do. There are many people who will/would be attracted to what you are insecure about.

If someone else has negative thoughts towards your body then that represents that they have an issue, unrealistic expectations, or inexperience when it comes to human anatomy. This is their problem, not yours.

Knowing you are not alone helps tremendously. Talk to a friend or someone you trust about body shame, research online, or find a book that details the experience of someone that relates to yours. Continue to learn and remind yourself that you aren’t alone in how you feel and in how you look.

And most of all, see what other people look like!

Below are websites that show photos of just some examples of the variation of human anatomy, as well as other information and interview-type articles. (remember, since no one is exactly the same you might not find someone who looks a lot like you in these pictures) :

Breasts, Nipples, Areolas: –  photos http://ourbreasts.org/about –  photos http://www.007b.com –  we all have nipples http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4011576/Can-tell-male-female-Genderless-Nipple-account-Instagram-challenges-double-standard-app-s-anti-nipple-policy-close-ups-men-women.html

–  nipple facts https://www.buzzfeed.com/carolynkylstra/nipple-factoids?utm_term=.ijlX5wbX#.voqye56y –  men have breasts too https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/jun/15/moobs-and-me-matt-cornell

–  gynecomastia http://content.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1663453,00.html –  breast cancer in men http://ww5.komen.org/BreastCancer/BreastCancerinMen.html

Male Genitalia: –  photos http://www.channel4embarrassingillnesses.com/galleries/penis-gallery/ –  photos http://www.willyworries.com/the-picture-galleries/aboutpixgalleries/about-galleries/the-normal-gallery/ –  photos http://www.foreskin.org/page2.htm

–  talk about circumcision http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a32417/sex-talk-realness-circumcision/

Female Genitalia: –  photos http://www.largelabiaproject.org/About –  vulva body image through art http://www.greatwallofvagina.co.uk/home