you have to remember it's always always worse on twitter

lets call in sick tomorrow and go to the natural history museum

put me in ur discord server so i can feel bad about never talking in there

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

the second radish is 29 feet away

this is legitimately the funniest post on this site

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

Pulitzer Prize type shit

Why's this dude built like crash bandicoot

Everything about this damn post is so funny to me. The lighting of the arm from the flash. The posing of the arm like a dramatic death from a novella. The fact the photo somehow got taken still and looks this good. The subreddit name. The fact this guy really is built like crash bandicoot

im capping it at 59k notes. thats it. shows over everybody

im gonna have to draw them fucking each other at this point

Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you