Supple Ass

I either don’t want to sleep or only want to sleep

Omg 2k notes, I couldn’t imagine that.

They took my fuckong teth

Not all of them.

im glad my anesthetic-induced hot take on wisdom teeth removal resonated with you guys

Do Not Talk To Me . I Dropped My Cashew In Walmart

i work as an actor at a haunted house and this little girl who was dressed as a cat came through she saw me and was like “no thank you please dont get closer i am already scared” and i was like alright i appreciate the good manners ill back off. so her dad picks her up and starts going down the rest of my dark hall and i just hear her yell “everybody wait! i dropped my ears” so i find them and give them to her dad and she goes “thank you but i hope i never see you again goodbye” and waved over her dads shoulder. i waved back and she gave me a thumbs up. honestly this kid has a lot of guts props for being so polite when shes terrified i hope she gets a lot of candy this year

me thinking about shakespeare at 3:30 am: also know what was fucked up? mercutio and tybalt died without even knowing what they were dying for. they literally say in the beginning of the play that no one remembers why the blood feud started. and mercutio wasn’t even an capulet or montague. this wasn’t his fight. but he died anyways, under romeo’s arm, by tybalt’s hand. sure, they were fighting because tybalt was pissed about romeo seeing juliet and shit, but mercutio didn’t know that. he thought tybalt was just starting shit just to start shit. he didn’t know what he was dying for. “a plague on both your houses” indeed. and then tybalt. fucking firey tybalt. like i said before, no one knows why the blood feud started. he essentially just died because his family hates another guy’s family probably over something like the 13th century equivalent of a sports rivalry. that’s so fucked up. while i don’t remember what their exact ages were, i’m pretty sure they were teenagers too. what the fuck.

me thinking about shakespeare at 3:35 am: and then benevolio. oh god benevolio. what even happened to him??? first, he watches this guy who was always a jackass to him but he’s probably known all his life get killed, then his (boy)friend dies all because of something his cousin does, and then his cousin is exiled/flees before he’s exiled. he’s then all alone for like the rest of the play, until he assuredly walks into the mausoleum at the end of the play and sees his cousin dead on the ground with some girl he’s maybe seen twice in his life dead on top of him. what the fuck. what the actual fuck. poor benevolio just lost his two best friends and now he’s all alone. and you know they never even say if he’s in the play for the rest of the thing. you just assume he is. for all we know he could’ve skipped town, or killed himself as well, or died in a duel, or anything. i always headcanoned him as the youngest of the group. and like, that just makes it worse. poor benevolio, the guy that was left all alone at the end of the play with all his friends and acquaintances dead. “for never was a story of more woe / than that of juliet and her romeo”???? bullshit. for never was a story of more woe than that of our poor fucking benevolio. 

me thinking about Shakespeare at anytime: There is a character in Midsummer Night’s Dream called Bottom