Melt Me Down

This is one of the most popular questions I receive, just behind “I’m in love with someone and I don’t know what to do.” (All of you – easily 95% of the people who write into me – are in love with someone and don’t know what to do.)

There’s a pretty simple instinct check for this, actually, which is: do you trust in your heart that you are doing what’s right for you, and not being intentionally malicious or hurtful?

If they answer is yes, then you’re fine.

However, I understand that developing that instinct can be tough, so I have outlined a few of the differences below.

YOU ARE BEING A BITCH IF:

Your actions are at the expense of another person, and there is no justifiable gain from doing so. (”I thought it was funny” isn’t justifiable gain.)

You are critical without being constructive.

You allow your own pettiness and jealousy to infect your relationship with another person, without assessing where those feelings are coming from and taking responsibility for them.

You talk shit, spread rumors, or instigate conflict for the sake of it or because of your own sadness, anxiety, or insecurity.

You’re shitting all over something other people like, just because their happiness about it annoys you.

Don’t beat yourself up if you engage in some of these behaviors. We’re all a little shitty sometimes. I am a little shitty all the time. It’s literally my job.

YOU ARE STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF IF:

You are rejecting someone you’re not interested in.

You are setting a boundary that makes you feel safer or more comfortable.

You are refusing to be treated as an object, as inferior, or as a person whose time is not valuable.

You’re not answering messages from strangers or from men online.

You’re giving someone the advice they asked for, but in a way they did not expect from you due to your gender, race, or another part of your identity.

You are asking for a raise or a promotion.

You are letting someone know that they hurt your feelings, upset you, or made you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, whether or not they meant to.

You ignore a catcaller – or respond to them in a sharp, loud, or angry way.

You turn down plans that involve being around people you don’t like, or people who make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable.

You say no to something because you don’t want to do it, and you don’t feel the need to explain yourself.

You refuse to work for free.

Hopefully this clears some confusion up. Please feel free to add your own examples of standing up for yourself if you reblog.

I showed this post to my boyfriend and he tried to take his shirt off like a girl and 

uh

and it made me realize that girls and boys pull their shirt off differently. /amazed

Its not science unless you write it down so 

Well done, i guess…

Second:

I fucked up

It’s all in the way that girl/boys shirts are made.

Girls shirts have less armpit room then boy’s do and are generally shorter so pulling it off over your head is more practical because by lifting your arms all the way up you make enough room for the sleeves to just slip off.

Boys shirts have more room and are generally longer so it is easy to slip them off over your head.

but if you take a girls shirt off like a boys shirt you will get your arms caught because there isn’t much armpit space.

and if you take a boys shirt off like a girls shit you will still have your head in it when you’ve lifted your arms all the way up because of the shirt’s length.

✌️

Everyone is on a different path of living. So many have developed so many different ways of loving and learning. You are your own special soul. Developing and leaning within the individual habitats of our minds. We are all connected but all as individual beings. So different yet so the same.