amethyst

- after that night, anton suddenly became flirty with you. initially, you just saw it as a normal thing. he's like that—a gentleman and a sweet guy.

- it all officially started when he would randomly message you or send you tiktok and instagram reels. you went from nada to having an ongoing tiktok streak of 35 already. ever since, both of you have established that he will facetime you as both of you study. sometimes, he's practicing a cello piece while you're stressed out with org work, but you never get annoyed

- oh, also, he would always sing to you as he practices with his guitar or piano. that's where you start getting annoyed... because you're definitely falling. lol anyway

- well, you could say your battery has already deteriorated from how you and anton would always go on a sleep call

- sitting next to you in hangouts, scooting closer to you on couches, opening the cap of your bottle, resting his shoulder on yours, quickly dropping to his toes to tie your shoelaces, cleaning your utensils when the circle decides to eat outside, explaining to you (in his soft-spoken voice) what the group was bickering about or what the boys were debating about, and so on

- one time, he insisted on having you on his lap during a car ride where only one person brought a car. so you spent an entire hour stiff and breathless as you were settled on his lap. well, sohee was on wonbin's lap. your other girl friend was also on another girl friend's lap... so being on anton's lap seems normal, right?

- his hands steady your waist, your back pressing to his chest when the car suddenly brakes. anton, on the other hand, swears he could smell you and would slightly pull you closer so you can be comfortable. he asks you from time to time to adjust and assures you not to hold back your weight

- the small moments shared and the subtle actions that make your breath hitch continue every day. you let him, though. you don't say anything. and it's just as bad how these lines are blurred. again, you guys have been friends for a long time...

- it's all about the longevity and comfort you guys shared. LMFAOO you try to convince yourself that way

- but those aspects suddenly blur out when it's only the two of you studying together at the library and throwing flirty punches at each other.

- anton's sentences would often start or end with him referring to you as "pretty," "babe," or worse: "baby." and worst of all, you just let him and don't police that habit...

- when everyone's hanging out at wonbin's house, he would suddenly sneak up behind you and lean on your shoulders. he'd compliment how you look and how he likes your scent. apparently, the anton lee likes giving back hugs... and likes being hugged every night...

- also maintaining eye contact while being across the table or sofas? and he would just smirk when you break the eye contact

- to say the least, even the most boring errands—like grocery shopping, buying stuff you need for school, or waiting in line at the hospital—felt so exciting because anton was your company.

- you'd say everything is normal until it's 12 am, and anton's sleeping soundly with his face on your neck, laying on his side clinging to your waist

- then came the days when he would tease you, or plague your late-night talks with "what if" questions

- "you're lucky you're cute." "if you keep treating me like this, i might fall." "what if i actually took you on a real date?" "what if we actually kissed right now? nah, i'm just playing."

- and telling any of your friends about all of this could be the dealbreaker. so both of you never did. hell, you and anton never even addressed this elephant you're nurturing in your friendship... setup.

- "best friends premium?" you shamelessly muttered to your close girl friends when they caught all those selfies of you and anton in bed, cuddling together. or even those photos when the two of you went for breakfast 'dates.'

- sohee mentioned one time to everyone that anton's wallpaper is a baby photo of someone. "oh anton-ah, you didn't tell us you're talking to someone! who is it?" anton remained quiet but he quickly glanced at you to see your reaction.

- you bit your lip, hiding your smile from everyone who was teasing him. it was your baby photo that he found so cute when you showed him one time. you didn't know that he actually took a photo of it. and made it his wallpaper. like fuckkk WAT DAT MEAN?

- you noticed that anton seems different and acts unusual when you're wearing his clothes

- he's flustered each time :p

- so, you steal some of his clothes and he just lets you...

- you swore you saw him bite his lip one time when you were just wearing his oversized hoodie and your sleep shorts

- the subtle (or not-so-subtle) tension that arises when your previous fling or ex situationship is in the proximity. or when you're suddenly clingy with one of your friends (he doesn't care if it's a girl or a guy... he knows you can bend all genders so all of a sudden he's sulky???)

- "i'm not jealous though," he states.

- "okay. i didn't ask though. wha- anton, can you stop pouting?"

- but he still wins because he's holding your hand as you two walk to your house after the hangout or after your classes. sometimes its his biceps you're holding when the two of you are walking.

- finally, your and anton's tiktok streak says 50. so, 50 days of ridiculousness already of whatever-this-is with anton. you have fallen already. definitely. you feel conflicted at the same time. and you hope he does, too

- the routine you shared was present daily and anton was consistent in either being the flirty friend or stirring your feelings. well, to be fair, he's a romantic guy...

- the flower vase in your room was never empty. when he comes to visit for a movie night or a study night or a sleepover, he's never empty-handed as he enters your door. there's always a bundle of fresh flowers from the supermarket in his hands. if it's a special day, they're from a flower shop :3

- your friends can't do it anymore. they have noticed, they pointed it out, they sometimes pretend not to know or care. but they're just tired of seeing anton and you dilly-dally and call it friendship

- one night, as you and anton were walking to his house from a nearby burger joint sungchan recommended, you felt like it was already time to address it. his hand was warm on your palm, and he's just grinning as he sways it playfully

- you stopped in your tracks. the moment you guys were sharing earlier and the quiet of the night made it feel like it was the right time. "do you think we should date?"

- "definitely."

- "cool."

- "yeah, yeah."

- it felt sweet and innocent even though you guys were quiet and red the whole walk back to his place. you guys weren't teenagers anymore yet you acted like it—

- acting all innocent after that declaration of affection and suddenly you're in his lap, hoodie on the floor, your fingers threading through his hair carefully, and his lips almost engraved in yours

- you pulled away, unable to breathe. he whines.

- "well, i'm sorry i don't have the lungs of a swimmer." you playfully rolled your eyes.

- he scoffs lazily, followed by a smirk. "my bad."

- "remove your shirt, lee."

- anton follows and went for a quick kiss then pulled away out of nowhere. he rasped, "you know what else i could dive into?"

- you and anton both slept very well that night

- the following day, he asked you out properly for a date with all the things you could ask for (yet you never did because he did it all naturally!)

shotaro . . .

after leaving the bedroom with plans on spending the night on the couch, you couldn't help but feel bad about what you'd done. you knew shotaro was the sweetest boy in the world, you were just acting impulsively on your jealousy and took it out on him. you wanted to turn around and apologize to taro a million times, but your pettiness wouldn't allow you to. so you settled on the couch and sat alone with your thoughts until you fell asleep.

you woke up confused yet warm with a thick blanket over you. you looked down and you felt your heavy heart slowly pick itself up. shotaro was lying on a blanket beside the couch with his hand propped up holding yours. you waste no time and kneel beside him, stroking his hair and lightly shaking him awake. "baby, wake up! why would you sleep here without a pillow? you're gonna be all sore!" taro smiled with his eyes still closed. he lied on his back and rested his hand on your thigh. "i'm sorry, honey... i just wanted to sleep beside you. i couldn't fall asleep while you were out here all by yourself."

your eyes softened before you leaned down to press a kiss on taro's forehead, lying against his chest afterwards. "i'm sorry, taro. i'm sorry for being so jealous. i just... can't stand seeing you with someone else." taro shook his head and gently ran his hand through your hair. "there's nothing to worry about, honey. why would i be searching for another girl when i have the world's loveliest girl all to myself?" all of your concerns circling last night's date all melted within an instant. your body relaxed against his. taro continued, "you're the best girlfriend i could ever ask for, y/n. you mean the world to me and you know that. i've never felt such love for anyone who isn't you. you're truly the best thing that's happened to me, and i wouldn't trade you for the world." your eyes softened and you felt your insecurity fade. taro's reassurance was the only thing you needed to forget about all of your worries. you laughed and sat up, resting your hands on his stomach. "let's go sleep on the bed." taro looked at the time on his phone and tilted his head. "it's already 9am, you still want to sleep?" you nod and gently tug on his shirt, drawing a smile from his lips. "we need to catch up on cuddles. i hate sleeping without you." that lovely smile of yours was all taro needed to see to know everything was resolved. he smiled and let you take his hand, restlessly guiding him to your shared bed. the rest of the morning was spent cuddling against each other like penguins, making up for the night you'd spent apart.

eunseok . . .

after eunseok voiced his disappointment in you, nothing hurt more than thinking of him. the idea of being such a nuisance to someone as important as him was tearing at your heart every second of the day. you only wanted the best for him— so you kept your distance. after storming out of his house, you wouldn't step foot in there for weeks. because he'd come to you.

you came home from work shocked to see eunseok in your kitchen, cutting fruit over the counter. he lifted his head and met your eyes. "what, did you forget i have the spare key?" seeing him again caused all of the suppressed anxiety to flood back into your system. you swallowed back your unease and rushed to your bedroom, needing a quiet moment of solitude. while changing out of your suffocating work clothes, your mind scrambled up an apology, but the weight of your shame and fear clouded any form of apology that came to mind. when you face him again, all you can do is shamefully sit in silence while he plates the food in front of you.

the tension was growing thicker and thicker the longer you sat ahead of him. you scarfed down your food in a sloppy attempt to escape the situation sooner, but that only ticked him off even more. "why haven't you answered my calls?" the sudden confrontation startled you. you cautiously swallow your food and keep your gaze on the plate. "i don't know," you cowered. eunseok's burdening gaze softened at the sound of your weak voice. he spoke delicately, "that's not an accident, darling. are you gonna tell me the truth or are we going another three days without contact?" the fear of spending another night alone settled into your panic-stricken heart, triggering a desperate yet honest apology. your fearful eyes met his and your stifled guilt let go of your long-awaited apology. "i'm sorry, seok. i'm sorry for not listening to you, and i'm sorry for being so intolerable." the tremble in your voice set off all alarms in eunseok's heart. like a habit, he rushed to you and took you into his arms. "if i knew you were getting so exhausted of me, i would've listened to you. i'm sorry for being so difficult." eunseok held you against his chest, stroking your hair while gently consoling your cries. "you are difficult, but i wouldn't have it any other way. i'm sorry for overwhelming you, but i'm only worried about your health, darling. i can't see you sick again. i'm sorry, too." eunseok's gentle tone only sent you into another fit of tears. you tightly held onto his shirt and began sobbing frantic apologies. he couldn't help but laugh at you, wondering how he'd ended up with such a stupid girlfriend. "are you done yet, crybaby? your food is getting cold."

sungchan . . .

the desperately needed alone time you'd finally earned felt everything but rewarding. you tried watching your favorite show, reading a book, and catching up on sleep, but nothing brought you that peace you'd been yearning for. all you wanted was sungchan. since the moment he'd slammed his bedroom door shut, your recovery was no longer your priority. now, all you wanted was to know if he was okay. though you're the one who deserves an apology, you couldn't help but linger on the thought of him needing comfort.

you knew sungchan wanted nothing to do with you at the moment, but you still found yourself sneaking off to the kitchen in search of him. you peeked around the doorframe and spotted sungchan in front of the counter grabbing a glass from the cabinet. your heart ached to see him so exhausted. as he poured a glass of water, you decided you wanted to make it up to him. he flinched feeling your weak arms take his waist into your embrace, your body pressing against his. sungchan swallowed back the heat rising to his face and his poker face remained. but as you rested your head on his shoulder, he felt his heart melt into a puddle of adoration for you. "i'm sorry you had a bad day, baby, and i'm sorry for making it worse. i really wasn't trying to push you away, chan. you're the last thing i'd want to lose. i just wanted some time alone, but i couldn't stop worrying about you. do you still want to cuddle..?" sungchan turned to face you and cupped your face in his hands. your stress melted away with one solacing kiss from him. "of course i do, princess. you have nothing to apologize for, alright? i know you just needed a quiet moment to yourself, i was just cranky from how tiring my day was and needed you. i'm sorry for putting my emotions before yours. we can cuddle tomorrow so you can have some time to yourself." you shook your head and clung to his chest as if he'd disappear. "no, i need you right now. i couldn't sleep without you." sungchan laughed and kissed your temple. "anything you want, doll."

wonbin . . .

nine times out of ten, wonbin is the last of you to apologize after a disagreement. but he is far from remorseless. he's not ashamed of apologizing or thinks he's free of any wrong: he's simply afraid to face you. after every argument, wonbin is terribly paranoid of making things worse. he can't live with himself knowing how badly he's hurt you or how much he's ruined for you. so he hides in fear of hurting you again.

but this time, he couldn't. he regrets not walking you home that night or even kissing you goodnight. he knows he overreacted; he's completely aware of his mistake. he's just too afraid of facing you knowing how much he hurt you. he'd been planning on going to your house with all your favorite snacks, hugging your pain away. he'd gone shopping for sweet treats he knew you'd love and even spent hours browsing jewelry stores for a pretty bracelet to gift you. yet all of this effort was spent just for his plans to be foiled.

the night he decided to surprise you, he spent hours preparing a pretty gift basket of everything he'd bought you. all of those little gifts displayed in a pretty pink basket with silk bows tied around every item; everything was perfect. but as he picked up the basket and turned to deliver it, the bedroom door creaked open. there you stood, dumbfounded with your eyes on the huge gift basket. wonbin was speechless. all he could do was stare at you with nervous doe eyes, waiting for a response. you let out an amused chuckle as you pulled out a white gift bag from behind your back. wonbin's anxiety melted in an instant. his eyes lit up and he hesitantly took the bag from your hands. "what's this for, baby..?" he asked with a glint of guilt in his eyes. you looked down at the bag and murmured, "i'm sorry for what happened the other day. i didn't mean to make you so upset." wonbin's heart shattered into a million pieces seeing your defeated demeanor. he dropped everything and took you into his embrace, cradling you against him and stroking your hair. "why are you sorry, baby? i had no reason to yell at you, i don't know what came over me. it's all my fault for being so miserable. i'm sorry for ruining things for you, y/n." you began to feel much lighter, finally being able to face wonbin without feeling guilty. you hug him tighter, cooing, "i forgive you, baby." though he should feel relieved, he pouted and whined, "i was supposed to apologize first! i prepared this whole apology gift just for you to come out of nowhere and spoil my entire plan! you even have a better gift than mine!" you sighed and shut up your whiny boyfriend with a quick kiss on the lips. "you win, okay? your gift is perfect, thank you my love~" your heart grew warm feeling all of the tension and gloom leave wonbin once he heard your reassurance. you'll always be his solace <3

seunghan . . .

a few days passed since you'd voiced your discontent with seunghan's love bombing. you thought you'd fixed things, but a new problem inevitably arose: now, seunghan was only a shell of what he used to be. after that night, seunghan became noticably less affectionate. he'd hesitate to hold your hand while you walked beside each other, and he'd take a while to give in and rest his head on your chest while you watched your show together. he was scared of hurting you. seunghan's heart was torn to shreds after learning he'd only been hurting you by doing what he thought was fixing the problem. though he'd taken your advice and began communicating rather than suppressing your issues with affection, things didn't feel right.

you didn't take the massive shift in seunghan's personality well. you wanted to tell him that it was okay to be affectionate, but you wanted to avoid being so overbearing when it comes to how he treats you. after all, your boyfriend is the sweetest boy in the world and you wouldn't change him for the world. it was all becoming too much. you were beating yourself up for criticizing him in the first place, blaming yourself for the intense decline in his happiness. you sat on your bed with your legs pressed against your chest, hiding your face in your knees. your guilt began exhuming from your body through tears.

as soon as seunghan heard your sniffles, he dropped everything and rushed to you. his heart stopped once he saw your frail state. he sat in front of you, mind racing trying to find a way to approach you. you looked up at seunghan and panic began settling in his mind. he stood frozen, helplessly staring into your teary eyes. "is... there something wrong?" you were stunned by his lack of reassurance. at times like this, he would have already scooped you into his arms and cradled you until the tears stopped. you'd finally been hit with the fact that you'd hurt seunghan so deeply. your head hung low as your soft sobs turned to heavy wails. his desire to hold you was growing stronger and stronger, but he wanted to show you how much he's improved for your sake. but it all became meaningless once you cried, "i miss you, seunghan." seunghan's eyes watered as he hesitantly moved beside you, delicately pulling you towards his chest. "i'm so sorry... i'm so sorry for changing you this much. i shouldn't have said anything, i should've kept quiet. i... i hurt you so much and i hate myself for it. i miss you, love." seunghan couldn't contain his tears hearing your frantic apologies. his tears dripped onto your sweater as he pulled you closer into a sincere hug. "never apologize for wanting better, y/n. i should be the one apologizing. i'm so sorry for hurting you. i'm so proud of you for trying to resolve things with me, i know it must've been hard. i'm gonna do my best to be a better man to you no matter how unbearable it is. you deserve the world, angel." your heart only grew heavier and heavier with every word that left his lips. you looked up at him with tears streaming down your face and attested, "no i don't, seunghan. it was so selfish of me to change you for my own comfort. you're the sweetest boy in the world and you were already perfect before i messed things up. i just miss my happy seunghan. i miss your hugs and your cuddles. i don't want you to be so anxious all the time because of me. i want you to be yourself again." seunghan wiped his tears before gently wiping yours. "but i'm always happy when you're around, angel. quit being so hard on yourself. i love you just as much as i did before, and nothing will change that. i'll cuddle you just as much as you want me to, alright? there's no need to cry, my love." you laughed and wrapped your arms around his waist. the world felt so much brighter now that his smile returned.

sohee . . .

the distance between you and sohee had only worsened your stress. you thought maybe having more alone time would help you focus on school and prepare you for the upcoming exams, but you were mistaken. all you could think of was sohee. you missed him so dearly that it overshadowed every single one of your tasks. you wanted him to come back so you could cuddle him and shower him with all of the attention he could ask for, but you knew the damage was done and he was upset with you. so you kept quiet.

that was until your doorbell rang. you sprung up from your desk and ran over to the front door hoping it was sohee, but to your dismay, it wasn't. "hello! delivery for y/n?" it was a food delivery from your favorite restaurant. you tilted your head. "i didn't order anything...?" the deliveryman looked down at the bag and read out the address to you, coincidentally matching yours. you hesitantly took the bag from him and bid him a good night. you opened the bag to be greeted by a small receipt. your eyes lit up as you read through the faded ink letters; "i haven't been there to make sure you're eating, so i figured i'd send you a meal. i hope this lifts your spirits and motivates you to push through your exams! you better keep your promise and invite me over once your exams are over! -lee sohee." you were finally able to smile once you saw his name at the bottom of the receipt. you ran to grab your phone and immediately called him. "y/n?" "come over right now." "but y-" "bring your pajamas."

you impatiently sat at the table staring at the receipt waiting for sohee to arrive. once the front door opened, sohee was startled with a tight hug from you. his body lost its tension and he smiled, holding you close and breathing in your scent. "thank you, sohee. you're the sweetest~" sohee laughed and stood up taller. "it was cool, right? i called the restaurant and was all cool asking them 'relay this message for my girlfriend.' aren't i the coolest boyfriend for that?!" you laughed and left a peck on sohee's lips. his flaunty demeanor melted and his cheeks flushed pink. "yes sohee, you're so cool. come eat with me!" the two of you shared the meal while watching naruto together, you finally getting some time away from your textbook. sohee was over the moon now that he'd gotten some of your attention. the two of you changed into your pajamas and completed your lengthy night routine before slipping under the covers and settling down for the night. you turned to face sohee and he nervously looked at your arms. "y/n, i'm... i'm sorry for how i acted the other day. you were already going through so much and i'm sure getting yelled at didn't help much. i... i think i just missed you too much." your eyes softened and you placed your hand on his cheek, your thumb gently brushing over his skin. "my sohee... :( it's okay, i understand why you were so upset. i'm sorry for neglecting you, i promise i'll make up for it. we can cuddle all night and we can even play video games tomorrow. how does that sound?" sohee's eyes lit up and he nodded with a huge smile plastered on his face. you laughed and left a kiss on his nose. turns out sohee was all you needed to escape all of your stress <3

anton . . .

anton can't last a day without you. you were surprised to still receive hourly texts from him after how you treated him last night. your heart broke seeing him act like everything was normal while he was still hurt from how you spoke to him. you kept texting him 'i love you's to console his worries, but you knew that wouldn't be enough. so you invited him over.

the second he walked through the door, his sorrow was evident. his smile was weaker than usual and his eyes had this emptiness to them. even his hug felt weaker than before. you held his hand and lead him to your bedroom, where his eyes would light up and his smile would grow. you had set up this giant pillow fort in your bedroom and decorated it with pretty fairy lights and teddy bears. "what's this..?!" anton laughed, covering his mouth with his free hand. "surprise slumber party! come inside!" anton was astonished by the integrity of the fort and the amount of teddy bears and snacks that were hidden inside. "this is so cool!" he cheered, looking around with doe eyes. you laughed and pulled him down, trapping him in your arms. you peppered his face with hundreds of kisses while he giggled and squirmed. "stop it, it tickles!" you left one final kiss on his lips and moved back to meet his eyes. "i missed you, anton." his eyes softened and he smiled. "i missed you more, love." you brushed his hair back and gently ran your fingers through it. you took a deep breath before letting your thoughts roam free. "i'm sorry for yelling at you yesterday, baby. i was overwhelmed and i didn't mean to take it out on you. i wanted to surprise you as a way to make it up to you. i promise i won't forget to say i love you ever again, okay?" anton laughed and rested his hands on your waist. "that's what this is all about? gosh, you're the cutest. it's alright, i'm not upset with you. i understand why you were so frustrated. i'll work harder to make you feel appreciated. trust me y/n, nothing you do for me goes unrecognized. i love you so so much, my love." you cupped his face in your palms and left a tender kiss on his lips. "i won't let you forget how much i love you ever again." for the rest of the night, your clingy boyfriend would be stuck to you like glue. and of course, you wouldn't forget to whisper an "i love you" before kissing him goodnight.

—

a/n: the happy ending! i didn't expect my first angst to get so many interactions, i was using all of my brainpower to push this out for you guys lmao!! thank you sm for loving part one so much and i'm sorry to everyone i've hurt </3 i hope this makes up for it! i also got a bit carried away with seunghan's part... i just miss him sm i am so sorry my friends

⭑.ᐟ eunseok

You and Eunseok had a big argument in the morning, and since he came back from work, he had been ignoring you. Seeing how he was acting, you couldn’t help but lock yourself in the bathroom to cry. However, Eunseok heard the sounds coming from inside and followed you. The two of you stared at each other in silence for a few seconds before he sighed, crouched down in front of you, wiped your tears, and apologized for ignoring you.

⭑.ᐟ sungchan

Though you didn’t argue often, when you did, Sungchan had a habit of doing things that hurt you, like ignoring you. You tried to talk to him as if nothing had happened, but Sungchan wouldn’t respond. You decided to give him the silent treatment too, but when you started making dinner, all the pent-up emotions overwhelmed you, and you burst into tears. When Sungchan walked into the kitchen and saw you crying, guilt immediately took over. He walked up to you and hugged you from behind.

"I'm such an idiot... Forgive me."

⭑.ᐟ wonbin

You knew how proud Wonbin could be, but you never expected him to ignore you all day over such a silly argument. That afternoon, you had plans to go to the movies together, but since he wasn’t speaking to you, you decided to go alone. You thought it wouldn’t bother you too much until you started crying in the theater, realizing how much you missed him. To your surprise, he suddenly sat down next to you, handed you some popcorn, and wiped away your tears.

"I'm sorry, Y/N... I—" "Shh, the movie's starting."

⭑.ᐟ seunghan

The night before, you and Seunghan had a fight before bed, but you didn’t expect him to skip his usual good morning kiss the next day. It hurt even more to see him either ignore you completely or reply curtly, and by the time he left the house to go shopping, you broke down crying in the living room. When Seunghan returned and saw your puffy eyes, he immediately realized how much his actions were hurting you. Without a second thought, he sat beside you and hugged you tightly, apologizing over and over.

⭑.ᐟ sohee

You and Sohee hadn’t spoken all day at work after a small disagreement. The tension and frustration had started to shift into sadness, especially as you saw him happily chatting with others while ignoring you. During your break in the café, tears quietly started streaming down your face. Coincidentally, Sohee walked in at that moment. Seeing you, he sighed, walked over to your table, and held your hand.

"Why did we act like this? I’m sorry..."

⭑.ᐟ anton

You didn’t expect Anton’s reaction to your first real argument in the relationship to be ignoring you, and you certainly didn’t expect it to hurt so much. He spent the whole day without speaking to you, ignoring even the posts you sent him. Feeling increasingly upset and unsure of what to do, you decided to go for a walk while listening to music. But as soon as the first song started, you found yourself crying, thinking about Anton. Unexpectedly, you bumped into him—he had been doing the same thing as you. Without saying a word, he walked up to you, wrapped you in his arms, and promised he’d never ignore you like that again.

It all started with 2 phone calls a day.

Only 2.

You were never the type to be overbearing to someone you cared about because you trusted them. But things change and so do people, you just thought it would never be him.

6 years thrown down to the ground once he auditioned for Midnight Gaze. In all honesty, you always knew he was talented, he just needed motivation and support. You made sure to be there for him as much as you could, even practiced his audition lines together perhaps over 100 times, yet he could never feel ready to face the casters.

You’ll never forget the day that he got the phone call. You both were lying on his bed, exhausted as you both had just arrived from school.

School had been absolutely kicking your ass, but you did your best to power through it anyways.

His phone rang once, he turned to you not too sure whether to answer or not. “Answer! It could be important!” You tell him by gesturing to the ringing phone.

“Hello…?” Anton says quietly. You hear some mumbling on the other end of the call and he looks at you with bright eyes.

“Is it the casters?” You mouth. “Yeah!” He mouths back, smiling big.

After a few more minutes of conversation, he hangs up the phone after stuttering out a “thank you”. “Well? Any good news I hope?” You ask sitting up from your laying position and looking at him with hopeful eyes.

“There was a lot of information being thrown at me, but they loved my audition! Said I was super talented and I may just have a bright future ahead of me if I continue acting!” He says also sitting up to face you.

“Anton, that’s great! I’m so proud of you!” You smile and give him a hug. “I never doubted your skills, I knew they would absolutely love you!” You shake his shoulders lovingly.

“Well, that’s not all they said of course. They said that they would like to put me in a show called Monster Boys. I’m so excited for this!” He shakes his head in disbelief and runs to tell his parents after giving you a kiss on the forehead.

You smile to yourself when you hear his parents congratulating their son for his success, laying back down under the covers and letting yourself drift off.

Unfortunately, that was 6 long years ago. You’re in college studying fashion designing and Anton is preparing for an upcoming movie titled “Midnight Gaze.”

Over the past few years Anton has been catching more eyes from the public.

Appearing in professional interviews and even appearing at movie premieres.

Oh and nobody knows who you are. Anton strictly wants your relationship behind the scenes. Sure, it’s nice being granted privacy when you practically are dating a popular actor. You’re just not sure if it’s something you could have ever prepared for.

Anton has been eating up the fame that he receives on a daily basis, sometimes you wonder if he even forgets you exist.

You know that he’s busy, and you know that he’s just following his dreams.

But does it hurt to wonder if someone even loves you anymore? In this society, apparently it is.

That brings you back to the present. You have grown tired of the same excuses when he rain checks a date, forgets to pick you up from college, or stops calling you.

It all started with 2 calls a day.

Then 3.

Then 4.

After 10 you've stopped calling.

At some point you couldn't find it in yourself to care, even though you were so accustomed to hearing his voice before you slept.

You’ve grown accustomed to being alone at home now too.

Zoning out after spending nearly 5 hours on your college finals, your phone on the table begins to ring, which is strange because truly, you don’t have friends who would call you at 2am.

Flipping your phone over and you read the name that’s on the screen.

Sighing softly, you reach a shaky hand towards your phone to grab it. You debate whether to answer or not, but of course, you end up anyway.

You stare at your phone while the air between you two is filled with tension. You both aren't dumb to know what’s been going on, and how each other is feeling.

That’s just how you both are. Ever since you two were kids, one of you would know when something was wrong with one another.

Especially during a disagreement, Anton would be the first to confront it.

“We need to talk. Meet me at our spot?” Anton asks hesitantly, like he knows you might say no.

Honestly? You should. You should say no for all the times he’s ignored you and hidden you like you didn’t matter.

But love makes you do things that you don’t always make second guesses on, so you respond with an “okay” and hang up the phone.

Sighing again, you make your way out of your front door, getting inside your car and heading to what may just be your nightmare of the night.

You knew that Anton wasn’t stupid. He knew that he was being distant.

So why did he wait so long to bring it up? You want to be understanding, but the more you think about the situation the more upset you become.

Turning the radio on, the first thing you hear is no other than radio show hosts talking about Anton’s new upcoming movie ‘Midnight Gaze’.

You scoff and decide to plug in your phone to play music instead.

—

Pulling up to the spot where you and him have basically made a second home, you see him sitting on the grass in his most definitely expensive attire.

Pursing your lips you take your time walking over to him, perhaps you want him to know what it feels like to wait for someone they love to come to them.

His fame was never an issue for you, but how drastically it changed him was an issue. You just want your Anton back.

“Hey.” You say while taking a seat next to him, leaving some space between you at the same time.

He doesn’t look at you immediately.

After a long moment, you think he won’t say anything at all.

Until he does.

“I know I’ve been distant, and I know that I can’t make up any excuses for the way I’ve treated you. I guess that I’ve just been so caught up with everything that I’ve shut out everyone close to me. I became selfish, ignorant, and let the ones who only want my money to barge through my circle. I started to forget the ones who truly see me for who I am.” He says running his fingers through his hair, looking out towards the sky.

“I understand if you don’t want to forgive me, hell I don’t even want to forgive myself.” He scoffs at himself.

“Sometimes I wonder if I should have ever chosen this path, after all it turned me into…this.” He gestures to himself.

You shake your head and move closer to him.

“Anton-“ you hesitate. “There’s no doubt that you’ve changed, but the guy who always cares about others before himself is still inside of you. You aren’t a bad guy, it’s been a huge change and I get that. It just would have been nicer if we brought this up sooner, but you've been traveling around the world…” you laugh sadly.

“I miss you a lot. Every single day.”

He finally meets your eyes.

“I love you.” He says watching your eyes widen.

It’s not the first time he’s said it, but he hasn’t exactly been saying it as often anymore.

“I love you too, Anton.” You smile lightly.

“From now on I’ll do my best to not leave you- or anyone in the dark, I promise.” He nods to himself as if sealing that promise.

You end up inviting him back home to spend the rest of the night together before his radio show interview in the morning.

You also end up waking up alone in bed with no notes, no texts, and no calls.

Anton Lee,

your leg bounced anxiously as you stared at the photo the delivery guy sent, trying to figure out which door your package had ended up on. every single door in your building was the same plain white with no decoration, no plants, no quirky doormat to offer a clue. just a long, boring hallway of identical doors, and somewhere behind one of them was your package. 

"great," you muttered, already feeling the creeping frustration in your chest. 

your phone buzzed in your hand, and you barely had time to glance at the screen before answering. 

"sooo," came minnie's voice, far too chipper for this disaster, "did you like my gift?” 

“i’m gonna strangle you,” you hissed, rubbing your temples. 

“woah, you know i’m not into that freaky shit.” 

“i’m serious, minnie,” you groaned, dragging a hand through your hair. “the package got delivered to a different apartment. you must’ve put the wrong number on it.” 

“no way,” she gasped, already on the defensive. “i literally double-checked. triple-checked, even. it’s apartment 235.” 

"what?” you yelled, nearly dropping your phone.

this can’t be happening. out of all the apartments in your building… it had to be that one?

“minnie…” you took a deep breath, forcing yourself to stay calm, "it’s 236. apartment 236.” 

she paused. “oh.” 

you heard her laugh nervously, and it took everything in you not to throw your phone across the room. 

“minnie…” you groaned, pressing your forehead against the wall. “i swear, if it’s what i think it is based on our last conversation…” your voice trailed off as a sinking feeling settled in your stomach. “my next-door neighbor, minnie. MINNIE. jaemin…oh my god.” 

“wait,” she said, voice sharp with interest. “is that the doctor you said is too hot for his own good?” 

“i did not say that.” 

“you did.” 

“no, i said he’s just… a nice sight for my eyes, okay? in a building full of old people, sue me for appreciating the view.” you rubbed at your face. “but i can’t face him if he saw what’s in that package. i just can’t.” 

“listen…” minnie drawled. “what if he’s into it, though? think about it.” 

“i’m hanging up.” 

“no, wait—” but you pressed the red button before she could finish.  

the most mortifying experience of your 24 years on this planet, and it hadn’t even fully happened yet. but you could see it clear as day: the box, him opening it innocently, and its contents—oh, god, the contents.  

the thing is, you and minnie had a dumb tradition. whenever life got a little too miserable or stressful, you’d send each other gifts. random, stupid stuff. a manga you’d been talking about, or a plushie of your favorite sanrio character. the catch was you could never reveal what it was until it was opened. it was supposed to be a surprise.  

except this time, you were sure minnie’s idea of a "surprise" was directly inspired by your recent rants about being, well… frustrated. as in, the sexual kind of frustration. you had a strong hunch about what she’d sent. 

you sank into the couch, letting out a long sigh. you had two choices: go over there and pray he hadn’t opened it, or stay here and hope the ground swallowed you whole. both seemed equally unlikely.  

as you stared at the ceiling, someone knocked on the door.  

three soft knocks. 

your heart stopped, your body jolting so hard you nearly rolled off the couch. no. no, no, no. not him. please not him. 

you tiptoed to the door like a cartoon burglar, eyes wide with panic. don’t answer. if you don’t answer, he’ll just leave it. you could grab it later. it’s fine. everything’s fine. 

but as you got closer, you heard the softest shuffle from the other side. he was still there. you peeked through the peephole and there he was indeed… jaemin. your very handsome, very distinguished doctor neighbor. standing there, holding your box.  

you backed away from the door like it was about to explode. no, nope, you’d just wait until he— 

you bumped into the side table. hard. and in a moment of unfiltered pain, you yelled, “FUCK!” loud enough to echo down the hall. 

a long pause. 

“hello?” his voice was clear through the door. smooth, polite. 

you shut your eyes so tight you saw stars. letting him think you weren’t home was six feet under now. 

"just get it over with," you muttered to yourself, quickly checking your appearance in the mirror to make sure you didn’t look at destroyed as you felt.

you opened the door with the kind of smile you'd give a police officer who just pulled you over. "oh! good morning, neighbor!" you practically chirped, voice too high, too fake. 

he smiled, sleepy but devastatingly handsome. his scrubs hung perfectly off his frame, and his hair was tousled like he'd just came from a long night shift…which he probably did. he had the kind of face that made you think life has favorites.

“morning,” he said, nodding his head. “sorry to bother you so early, but this…” he held up the box, fingers tapping the side of it. tap tap tap your eye twitched. “this got delivered to my place by mistake.” 

he was so calm. too calm. 

“oh,” you squeaked, your voice barely functional. “uh, yeah! no worries at all! my friend sent it, haha, she’s… forgetful like that. really bad with numbers. haha…” you trailed off. kill me now.

“right,” he said, eyes flicking to the box. “well, here you go.” he held it out to you. 

you reached for it but your hands, slick with nervous sweat, betrayed you. the box slipped.  

“oh no-”  

thud.

everything.  

everything spilled out.  

time slowed. your heart dropped straight into hell. 

boxes. bottles. wrappers.  

and then the pièce de résistance.  

a sex doll. 

a life-size, anatomically correct, male sex doll.

you didn’t know what kind of sound you made, but it was something between a gasp and a whimper. your knees hit the floor as you scrambled to grab everything wishing you could somehow erase the last five seconds of reality.  

“oh my god,” you whispered, cramming the boxes into your arms. “oh my god. oh my god.”  

“uhm,” he cleared his throat and you didn’t even have to look up to know what kind of face he was making. there were no words for this. none. zero.  

“thank you for bringing it to me! bye!” you choked out, voice cracking on the last syllable as you grabbed what you could and slammed the door shut with the force of a hurricane. 

you pressed your back to the door, sinking to the floor, arms full of colorful boxes of shame. you stared at them.  

a vibrator. a bottle of lube. a very, very anatomically correct doll still half in its box.  

"minnie." you said her name like a curse.  

your phone buzzed. it was a text from her. 

minnie (6:18am): how’d it go?  

“hell,” you muttered, tossing your phone across the room. 

you sat there for what felt like hours, the weight of embarrassment crushing down on you. moving out suddenly seemed like the only reasonable option. scratch that, you were moving countries. or planets. was mars habitable yet?

♡ ♡ ♡

for the next few days, life was nothing short of miserable. you called in sick to work because there was no way you could leave your apartment and risk running into jaemin. the idea of seeing him again made your stomach twist into knots. to anyone else, it might seem dramatic—after all, owning sex toys wasn’t some scandalous crime—but the sheer context of it all was unbearable. 

the cherry on top was that the box had clearly already been opened. jaemin had definitely seen what was inside before you’d even dropped it. and the fact that he just pretended everything was normal while standing there with a straight face? it was almost worse. no, it was worse. because now he probably pitied you for dropping it in front of him even after he tried to save you from the embarrassment. 

you groaned, burying your face into the couch cushions. where was the armageddon when you needed it?

you hadn’t left your spot in the couch days, and your body was starting to hate you for it. your back ached from the awkward angle you were lying in, and your stomach growled because you’d panic-eaten the last of your food last night. 

“this is pathetic,” you muttered, grabbing your phone. 

after scrolling aimlessly for a few minutes, you reluctantly opened your food delivery app. you ordered enough food for at least two days and prayed the delivery guy would bring it to your door. but of course, life hated you, so when you got the “can’t find parking” text, you sighed loudly. 

“naturally,” you mumbled, dragging yourself off the couch. 

you threw on the most disguising outfit you could find: a black beanie, your puffy winter coat, and oversized sunglasses. did you look like a wannabe celebrity trying to dodge the paparazzi? sure. but desperate times called for desperate measures. 

you texted the driver a quick be right down and bolted to the elevator, keeping your head low. 

when you reached the parking lot, you practically snatched the bag out of the driver’s hands and mumbled a quick thank you before rushing back inside. you were so close to safety now. 

you stepped into the elevator and leaned against the wall, finally letting out a sigh of relief. but, as fate would have it, you celebrated just a tad too soon. 

just before the doors closed, a hand shot through the gap. you froze. 

you smelled him first.

that cologne. you’d know it anywhere. 

your heart sank as jaemin stepped into the elevator, looking unfairly handsome as usual. you, on the other hand, looked like a fugitive. 

“good afternoon,” he said politely, his voice calm and smooth. 

“hi, uh…afternoon,” you mumbled, holding the bag of food up to your face like a shield. maybe if you hid behind it long enough, he wouldn’t notice it was you. 

“y/n?” 

shit. 

you glanced at him reluctantly, offering an awkward laugh. “oh, hey, jaemin… didn’t realize it was you.” you pushed your sunglasses up onto your head. “these things are so dark.” 

he chuckled, tilting his head slightly. “didn’t recognize you either. are you coming from an event or something?” 

you blinked at him, realizing how ridiculous your outfit must look. “oh, no, i—uh… i have a cold,” you stammered. “just trying to stay warm, you know?” 

“ah,” he nodded, his expression softening. “well, you should rest up. drink plenty of water and maybe some tea with honey, it helps soothe your throat. oh, and—” 

he started rattling off doctorly advice and you could only stare at him, dumbfounded. because, of course, not only was he handsome, but he was kind, too. unfair. completely unfair. 

“thanks,” you said, cutting him off before he could get too deep into his list of remedies. 

he smiled at you again, and for a moment, you swore your heart skipped a beat. “i was actually a little worried,” he admitted, leaning against the elevator wall casually. “i haven’t seen you around the past few days.” 

“oh. uh… yeah,” you said weakly, shifting the food bag in your hands. “just been laying low, don’t wanna get anyone sick.” 

“i see,” he said, his tone light but teasing. “you’re not hiding from me, are you?” 

your eyes widened, and your breath caught in your throat. was it that obvious?

“what? no! why would i be hiding from you?” you forced out a laugh, but it sounded fake even to your ears. 

he raised an eyebrow, his lips twitching like he was fighting a grin. “hmm. just checking.” 

“yeah, it’s because of the cold” you muttered, fidgeting with the handle of the food bag. “it’s nothing serious, though. i appreciate the concern.” you tried to sound nonchalant, but the tremor in your voice betrayed you. 

“good to hear,” he said, his eyes still on you. “but still, if it doesn’t get better in a few days, you should probably see a doctor.” 

“right. definitely,” you nodded quickly, eyes glued to the little numbers above the elevator door, silently willing them to move faster. 

but of course, the universe hated you lately. the elevator suddenly jerked to a stop, too soon for your floor. you flinched, and before you could even begin to hope it was just a regular stop, the overhead lights flickered once, then twice, and then… nothing. 

darkness. 

“oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me,” you groaned, tilting your head back against the cold elevator wall. 

“well,” jaemin’s voice came through the darkness, and you could hear the grin in it, “this is bad timing, huh?” 

“this is my villain origin story,” you muttered, crossing your arms as you slid down to sit on the floor. “this is how i finally snap and become one of those people who yell at customer service workers.” 

he laughed, and you hated how nice it sounded. like melted chocolate. warm, smooth, and way too easy to get addicted to. 

“guess we’re stuck for a bit,” he said, sitting across from you. you could only make out the faintest outline of him in the dim emergency lighting. “not a bad person to be stuck with, though.” 

“yeah, lucky you,” you deadpanned, cradling your bag of food. 

there was a pause. not an awkward one but it felt somewhat intimate and you didn’t like it. not because you felt uncomfortable but because you were scared of embarrassing yourself further.

“hey,” he spoke up again, softer this time. “about the other day…” 

no. absolutely not. this was not happening. 

“nope,” you cut him off, waving a hand like you could physically swat the topic away. “we don’t talk about that. ever.” 

“but i think we should—” 

“we don’t, jaemin,” you said firmly, pointing at him like a scolding parent. “it never happened. you never saw it. i never dropped it. in fact, none of it exists. it was a shared hallucination caused by gas leaks in the building. that’s my story, and i’m sticking to it.” 

he snorted, hiding a laugh behind his hand. “gas leaks?” 

“yep. toxic fumes. real health hazard,” you nodded, doubling down. “you should probably get management to check that out, doctor.” 

“i’m a neurosurgeon, not an HVAC technician,” he shot back, amused. 

“same difference,” you muttered. 

another pause. you could feel him looking at you, even in the dimness. 

“for what it’s worth,” he started slowly, like he was choosing his words carefully, “i wasn’t judging you.” 

“good,” you mumbled, picking at a loose thread on your coat. “because i’m not like ashamed of it, just… mortified, you know?” you finally glanced up at him, feeling a little braver in the low light. “there’s a difference.” 

he nodded, eyes warm and understanding in a way that made your chest ache. “there is.” 

you sighed, letting your head fall back against the wall. “i’m moving. i’ve decided.” 

he laughed, full and bright. “you’re not moving.” 

“i am, actually,” you insisted. “gonna change my name, get a new identity. maybe move to the mountains. live off the grid. it’s the only way.” 

“you’re ridiculous,” he said, still grinning. 

“you say that like it’s news.” 

silence settled over you both again, but this time it was lighter. less suffocating. you could hear him shift, stretching his legs out in front of him. he tapped his fingers against his knees like he was keeping time to a song only he could hear. 

“so,” he said after a beat, voice low and casual. “was that, uh… the first time you ordered something like that?” 

your whole face went hot.

“jaemin,” you warned. 

“what?” he asked, the picture of innocence. “just curious.” 

“don’t make me call those toxic fumes back in here,” you threatened, pointing a stern finger at him. 

he threw his head back laughing, and despite yourself, you smiled too.

"fine, i won’t bring it up anymore,” he said with a tired smile, rubbing the back of his neck. his fingers pressed into the muscle there, and he winced slightly. 

“you okay?” you asked, glancing at him with concern. 

“yeah, just a long day at work,” he replied, rolling his shoulder like it’d been bothering him for hours. 

“yeah, i can imagine. the life of a doctor must be pretty hectic,” you said, eyes flicking to his hands as they worked over the tense muscle. “but you gotta know your limits too… you’re not made of steel, you know.” there was a hint of worry in your voice, and you tried not to let it show too much, but judging by the way he glanced at you, he caught it. 

he looked at you for a moment, longer than usual, before nodding. “you’re right,” he let out a short breath. “i guess i’ve been burying myself in work lately. but it’s hard not to when it’s this time of the year… i’m a pediatric neurosurgeon and too many kids get sick and hurt during the summer.” 

“oh, definitely. i’m not even a kid and i always get sick in the summer,” you joked, hoping to lighten the mood. 

he laughed at that, his grin easy and genuine. “never too late to have fun during the summer,” he said, leaning back against the elevator wall. “just not too much fun. can’t party too hard with a cold.” 

“do i look like the kind of person who parties too hard?” you raised an eyebrow at him. 

“hmm,” he tilted his head with a slight (cute) pout. “i wouldn’t know. we don’t know each other that well.” he glanced at you, eyes flicking over you just once before smirking. “but you’re young and pretty, so why not?” 

your heart stumbled in your chest, and you fought to keep your face neutral. did he seriously just call you pretty so casually like it was a fact of life?  the dim lighting of the elevator became your saving grace, hiding the warmth that crept up your neck. 

"want a piece?" you asked, anxiously trying to change the subject, raising the bag of fried chicken in your hands. you shook it lightly to emphasize. "i have a feeling we're gonna be stuck here for a while, and it's still warm."

he raised an eyebrow, his grin widening into something a little playful. “don’t mind if i do.” 

he moved closer, close enough that your shoulders almost brushed, and you set the bag down in front of you both. “dig in,” you said gesturing with your hands toward the chicken.

“so… you’re a doctor…” you said after a couple minutes of eating in silence. 

“last time i checked, yeah,” he replied, glancing over at you with a faint smile. 

“so why’d you move into this shabby building with elevators that haven’t been serviced since the stone age?” you asked, pausing to tear into a chicken wing with zero grace or subtlety.

he stared at you, and you couldn’t tell if it was because of your question or the feral way in which you were eating. 

“i’m a resident, so i don’t make nearly as much as people think. plus, med school debt is no joke. this place fit the budget.” 

“oh,” you muttered, suddenly feeling a little awkward. “sorry if that sounded kinda judgy. people tell me i’ve got a chronic case of big mouth syndrome.” 

“it’s fine,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “at least you’re honest.” 

“what about you?” he asked, tilting his head toward you. 

“me? oh same story, different font. drowning in student debt, and this place was… available,” you said, popping another wing into your mouth. 

he nodded, and after that, the conversation picked up, flowing so naturally you forgot you’d technically only been speaking to him for a week. before that you had only shared neighborly greetings in the hallway.

you didn’t even realize how much time had passed until the elevator jolted suddenly, the lights flickering back on with a low, mechanical hum. 

by then, the bag of chicken was empty, and you knew more about jaemin than you ever expected to learn in one night.

♡ ♡ ♡

“i thought elevators had some kind of emergency backup power for blackouts,” minnie said, her face pixelated on your phone screen. 

“yeah but this building’s like 60 years old,” you muttered, adjusting the camera so she could see you better. you were sitting on the floor, painting your toenails a fresh shade of lavender. “the fact that it even has an elevator is a miracle.” 

“true, true,” minnie nodded, chewing on a piece of candy. her eyes lit up suddenly. “by the way, why does your sexy doctor live there? i thought doctors were supposed to be loaded.” she propped her chin on her hand. 

“he told me he just started his residency,” you explained, blowing gently on your freshly painted nails. “and he just started a new job at the hospital. they don’t get paid that well when they’re starting out.” 

“hmm,” she hummed knowingly. “so you spend a few hours stuck in an elevator with him, and suddenly you’re an expert on the medical field, huh?” 

you rolled your eyes so hard it was a wonder they didn’t get stuck. “it’s called having a normal conversation, you should try it”  

“i’m just saying,” minnie teased, tossing a gummy bear into her mouth. “you went in there hiding from him, and you ended up sharing chicken and life stories. i see you.”  

“there is nothing to see,” you shot back, tossing a pillow at your phone screen like she could actually feel it.  

“mm-hmm,” she hummed, leaning forward “so, did he mention it?”  

“mention what?” you asked, narrowing your eyes.  

“the box,” she said ominously, dragging out the word like it belonged in a horror movie trailer.  

you froze. “he tried to,” you admitted, tapping your fingers on the pillow in your lap. “but i shut him down real quick.”  

“oho, look at you,” she said, leaning back impressed. “miss assertive, didn’t think you had it in you.”  

“i have more pillows to throw, minnie. don’t test me.”  

“yeah, yeah, violent tendencies aside,” she waved you off, completely immune to your threats. “i hope this new confidence means you’re finally putting my gifts to use.” she tilted her head with the most innocent smile, which made it all the more sinister.  

your face went hot. so, so hot.

“i haven’t,” you lied, voice a little too high.  

“liar,” she sang, leaning closer to the camera. “i can see your shifty eyes. you definitely tried it.”  

“okay, fine, i did!” you snapped, throwing your hands up. “but it was a disaster.”  

minnie perked up with curiosity. “oh?”  

“yeah, oh,” you repeated, scratching your head. “it just… didn’t hit. it felt weird and i got frustrated, so i just gave up. plus i don’t know where you got that vibrator from but it almost burned my girlypop”  

“rookie mistake,” she sighed shaking her head dramatically. “that’s why you need someone with experience to help you out.”  

your brows furrowed. “what are you even saying right now?”  

“i’m saying,” she grinned like the devil himself, “that you have a perfectly qualified medical professional living right next door. i’m sure dr. mcdreamy wouldn’t mind giving you a consultation.”  

you blinked once. “minnie, you’re actually sick in the head.”  

“oh, please.” she tossed her hair over her shoulder, rolling her eyes. “he’s hot, he’s single, and you’ve already done half the work. you were sitting there eating fried chicken, and you’re telling me he kept throwing compliments at you? we all know you eat chicken like a truck driver, and he still thought you were pretty. use your resources, babe.”  

“he was hungry and stuck. he was probably grateful i offered him food. what else was he supposed to do?”  

“it’s so much more than that,” she said, holding up a hand, a clear signal for you to shut up and pay attention.  “i know when a man is laying the foundation and trust me, he’s building a whole mansion with your name on it.”

“you’re fully overreacting right now.”

one of minnie's strengths was that she wasn’t one to give up easily. but that also ended up being one of her flaws. you knew for a fact she wouldn’t drop this jaemin thing until she proved he had a thing for you.

“seriously, though,” she continued, leaning in so close her face was the whole screen. “he’s a doctor which means he’s like literally obligated to help people. it’s in the oath or something.”

“your point is..?”

“you know” she raised her brows suggestively “experienced hands, medical precision, and he owes you one for that chicken dinner. it’s the perfect setup.”

“you’re insane… like actually seek help.” you shook your head, trying to sound firm, but you were laughing too much to sell it.

“i’m serious,” she laughed along, “you literally blush whenever you talk about him. oh and you can’t even say his name without smiling.”

“that’s not true,” you said, shifting your position on the couch like that would somehow make your denial more convincing.

“mmhm,” she squinted her eyes, clearly not believing you.

“and for the record,” you added, jabbing your finger at the screen, “not every attractive man i meet is getting sexualized in my head. i’m not a beast.”

“no, you’re just a liar,” she shot back with a wide grin. “be real for like two seconds. i can see you smiling so hard right now.”  

“you can’t see anything,” you said, voice sharper now. “it’s the pixelation. your wifi is ass.”

“nice try,” she said, drawing out the words. “i know a bashful grin when i see one.”

“you stress me out,” you muttered, twisting the cap back on your nail polish with a little too much force.

“and yet, you call me every day.” she propped her chin on her palm, smile pure menace.

“i guess i’m a masochist,” you sighed, leaning back on the couch. “tragic, really.”

“mmhm, tragic is right,” she said, eyes narrowing into little crescents. “because now i’m gonna be your maid of honor at this wedding i didn’t even prepare for.”

“goodbye, minnie,” you deadpanned, reaching for the end call button.

“goodbye, future mrs. mcdreamy.” she winked at the camera, and before you could curse her out, she hung up.  

you sat there for a second, staring at your phone’s home screen, lips pressed tight.  

delusional.

she was delusional.

but that didn’t stop you from thinking about jaemin’s stupid grin. the way he’d looked at you while eating fried chicken, casual but present, like he was really there in the moment with you. the way his eyes lingered, just for a second too long.  

you shook your head, shoving the thought away like minnie’s words had wormed their way into your subconscious.  

nope.

you capped the nail polish, shoved your phone aside, and focused on literally anything else.  

♡ ♡ ♡

over the next few days, something shifted. not in a big, dramatic way but in a way you could feel.  

jaemin wasn’t just the polite neighbor you exchanged pleasantries with in the hall anymore. now, every time you saw him, there was this unspoken acknowledgment hanging in the air like: we shared fried chicken in a broken elevator for three hours.

 this new attitude towards you was giving you whiplash. he was… extra friendly now. he smiled more, spoke to you first, acted like you were both in on some kind of inside joke. it wasn’t bad… but it wasn’t normal either.  

“morning, y/n,” he’d say as you both waited for the elevator, eyes crinkling like he’d already thought of something funny.   

“morning,” you’d reply, your gaze locked firmly on the floor. the tiles were suddenly fascinating. 

but then you’d catch the faintest trace of his cologne—the same one you’d inhaled way too much of in the elevator—and suddenly, the tiles weren’t so interesting anymore. so you’d try to sneak a glance or two, and when he wore his doctor’s coat and glasses, you couldn’t help but ogle. he was so ridiculously handsome. everything about him practically begged for you to admire. his sharp jawline, his dark eyes framed by impossibly long lashes, his lips always pink and effortlessly moisturized, his hair neatly trimmed in the back but just a bit longer in the front, falling perfectly right above his thick brows.

and he had the most captivating smile, so white it almost blinded you, and despite thinking he was the serious type at first, you quickly realized he was incredibly expressive. he communicated so much with just his brows, and it seemed impossible for him to speak without a subtle smile tugging at the corners of his lips. like what was so funny? that you were crushing hard on him and it was kind of disrupting your life?

he was also too relaxed around you. way too relaxed. how was he so calm when he’d seen you in your most unhinged states? meanwhile, you could still feel the ghost of that moment hovering over you like a neon sign flashing "dildo girl spotted."

the third time you ran into him that week, you almost turned around to take the stairs, but you weren’t fast enough.  

“caught you,” jaemin said as soon as he spotted you, his grin sharp but not unkind. “thinking of bailing on me?”  

you paused like you were actually considering it. “don’t flatter yourself,” you said, walking forward like you’d planned to all along. “the stairs are just bad for my knees.”  

“oh, is that right?” he asked, stepping aside with a sweep of his hand. "good thing elevators exist, huh?”  

“lucky me,” you muttered, slipping inside. he followed right after, too close for comfort but not close enough to call him out on it.  

“lucky me,” he added, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets, head tilted just so. "would’ve missed you otherwise."  

you had to bite back the cough that almost escaped when he said that, his lazy smile firmly in place like always.

you glanced at him, squinting. "what's with you lately?"  

“what do you mean?”  

“this,” you gestured at him vaguely. “all this… talking. you weren’t like this before.”  

“maybe i just needed an excuse,” he said with a nonchalant shrug “and three hours in an elevator with you was a pretty good one.”  

you blinked, momentarily at a loss. what were you even supposed to say to that?  

“did you rehearse that?,” you muttered, turning away before he could see the corner of your mouth twitch.  

“why, is it too corny? but you’re smiling,” he pointed out, you could hear his smile.

“no, i’m not.”  

“you are,” he said confidently, leaning in just a little like he was trying to see it up close. “it’s cute.”  

you flinched back, eyes wide. “don’t say that.”  

“why not?” he grinned wider, clearly pleased with himself. “it’s true.”  

“oh my god.” you turned so far away from him it was a miracle you didn’t phase through the wall. “stop talking.”  

“can’t,” he said, all too happy to keep going. “we’re closer now. shared chicken trauma and all that.”  

“that is not a thing.”  

“it is,” he nodded confidently. “you can’t just sit in a powerless elevator with someone for hours and pretend you’re strangers afterward. that’s, like, scientifically impossible.”  

“scientifically impossible?” you repeated, eyebrows raised. “you’re making things up.”  

“and here you are listening to all of it,” he shot back, tilting his head toward you, his gaze a little too sharp. 

checkmate.

you opened your mouth, ready to respond, but your brain was buffering.. 

"that’s what i thought," he said, his voice low and too satisfied, just as the elevator dinged.  

the doors opened. he didn’t move right away, gaze lingering on you as if he was waiting for something…or maybe just seeing how long you’d hold it.  

“you talk too much,” you muttered, stepping out with your head high like you had the upper hand.  

“I think you like it,” he called after you, the amusement in his voice so obvious you could practically hear the grin on his face.  

your heart did that annoying skip thing, and this time, you didn’t have an excuse for it.  

♡ ♡ ♡

things only got worse after that.  

jaemin, apparently, had decided that you were fun to mess with now.

he wasn’t over-the-top about it, though. no, he was too smooth for that. he played it cool, weaving little comments and actions into your interactions. a smile that lingered too long, leaning in just a little too close when he asked a question, throwing casual compliments like they didn’t mean anything.  

it was unfair, really. he’d gone from the quiet, polite neighbor, the one who worked long shifts at the hospital and mostly kept to himself,  to an actual menace in the span of three days. and somehow, you were the target of all of it.

the first time it happened, you brushed it off as coincidence. the second time, you thought maybe he was just being nice because you shared food with him so perhaps he thought that he owed you. by the third time, you realized: this man was having fun at your expense.

“new hair?” he asked casually one evening as you struggled with your keys outside your door.  

you froze, glancing up at him in confusion. “what?”  

“your hair,” he repeated, nodding toward you. “looks good.”  

your brows furrowed. “it’s the same as always,” you muttered, turning back to the lock that was absolutely refusing to cooperate.  

“huh.” he tilted his head, as if he were genuinely surprised. “then i guess it’s just you.”  

what does that even mean?!

your hands fumbled, and the key slipped from your fingers, clattering to the floor.  

jaemin’s laugh was soft but unmistakably amused. “you okay there?”  

“don’t you have patients to save or something?” you snapped, crouching down to snatch the key off the ground before he even had the chance to get it for you.

“off duty,” he shrugged, leaning against the wall next to you. his smile had that easy confidence you were beginning to associate with him now. “but i’ll step in if you need medical attention. emotional support counts too.”  

you groaned so loud it echoed in the hallway. “i swear, i liked you better when you were quiet.”  

“oh, you like me?” he asked, his grin widening just enough to make your stomach flip in protest.  

“past tense,” you shot back, finally shoving the key into the lock and turning it with more force than necessary.  

“if you say so,” he replied, drawing out the word like he didn’t believe you for a second.  

“you’re insufferable,” you muttered, turning around with your key in hand, gripping it like a weapon. “how do you live with yourself?”  

“one day at a time,” he replied, dead serious.

you shot him a glare as you finally shoved the key into the lock. it turned smoothly this time.  

“maybe you should try it,” he added, just as you opened the door.  

“try what?” you asked, already regretting engaging.  

“living with me,” he said, like it was the most natural thing in the world. he even had the audacity to wink.  

you nearly slammed the door in his face.  

“goodnight, jaemin,” you snapped, stepping inside.  

“sweet dreams, love,” he called after you, his voice warm and smug in a way that lingered.  

you closed the door, locked it, and leaned your head against it with a groan that could only be described as deep emotional fatigue.

“then i guess it’s just you.”

you stayed pressed against the door for a little too long, thinking about it.  

he’s the worst.

the absolute worst.

♡ ♡ ♡

then came the visiting.  

you heard a quiet, rhythmic knock knock knock on your door one night. not frantic, not loud just steady enough to make you pause in the middle of scrolling through your phone.  

you frowned. minnie wasn’t the “surprise visit” type, and you definitely hadn’t ordered food. so who…  

when you opened the door, he was right there. 

jaemin.

he leaned against the doorframe, one arm propped against it, the other tucked into his pocket. his posture was relaxed, but his eyes sparkled with that familiar glint of mischief.

“what do you want?” you asked, gripping the door like it was a shield between you and whatever ridiculousness he was about to say.  

“so rude,” he said, mock-offended, though the lazy grin on his face betrayed him. “you invite a guy to share fried chicken once, and suddenly you’re heartless?”  

“oh, please.” you stepped back slightly, but you didn’t close the door. “i offered it. don’t act like i saved you from a tragic famine.”  

“true,” he agreed, his gaze dropping for a split second, flickering over you like he was trying to catch you off guard. “but since you brought it up, i was thinking about how we never got dessert.”  

you blinked, thrown off by the randomness. “what?”  

“dessert,” he repeated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “fried chicken’s great and all, but it’s not a complete meal. we missed out.”  

“and what, you came to my door at 9 pm to tell me that?”  

“yep.” he rocked back on his heels, completely unbothered. “i figured you owed me by now.”  

“owed you?” you repeated, narrowing your eyes. “for what, exactly?”  

“emotional support,” he said, grinning like he’d been waiting for you to ask. “that elevator ride? life-changing experience. bonded for life. it’s only fair you buy me dessert.”  

you tried to fight it. you really did. but the laugh slipped out anyway, betraying you.  

his grin widened, the kind that wasn’t just smug… it was triumphant.  

“fine,” you sighed, grabbing your phone off the counter. “but you’re paying next time.”  

“next time?” he echoed, his voice tilting upward just slightly. he leaned forward, close enough that the space between you suddenly felt smaller. “so you’re already planning our next elevator date?”  

oh, this man.

“don’t push your luck,” you muttered, pointing a finger at him while you tapped through your food delivery app. “i might close the door on your face next time.”  

“you like me too much to do that,” he said softly, and this time his tone wasn’t teasing.  

it was smooth, confident, and just low enough to make you glance up without thinking.  

your thumb hovered over your screen for a second too long before you forced yourself to break eye contact. you picked the first dessert you saw just to escape the moment and right before you got to pay he snatched the phone from you and put in his card details.

“so annoying,” you muttered.  

“gentlemanly,” he replied easily.

“you’re lucky i’m too tired to throw you out,” you shot back, already regretting how much you were letting him get away with.  

“lucky?” he asked, smirking. “i’d say you’re the lucky one. who else brings dessert and great company?”  

you groaned, loudly, just to drown him out.  

♡ ♡ ♡

thirty minutes later, you were sitting side by side on your couch, barely an inch between you, sharing a container of chocolate lava cake like it was the most natural thing in the world.  

“don’t hog it,” you grumbled, jabbing at his hand with your spoon when he took an extra-large bite.  

“it’s called portion control,” he argued, entirely unapologetic as he went for another.  

“it’s called stealing,” you shot back, scooping up a bigger piece just to even the playing field.  

“maybe,” he said, glancing at you with that maddening grin. “but you’re letting me get away with it.”  

“only because i don’t want to waste food,” you countered, though your voice lacked the conviction you wanted it to have.  

he leaned back slightly, his shoulder brushing against yours in a way that felt too casual to be an accident.  

“you’re really bad at lying, you know that?” he said, his voice dropping just enough to make you pause.  

you turned to glare at him, spoon still in hand, but the words caught in your throat when you saw the way he was looking at you.  

he wasn’t grinning anymore. not exactly.  

it wasn’t a smirk or a joke or one of those teasing little quips he always threw your way. it was… softer. almost curious.  

your heart stuttered before you could stop it.  

“and you’re annoying,” you said again, but this time it came out quieter.  

his lips twitched, like he was holding back a laugh.  

“you already said that but i think it loses meaning when you let me hang out with you for this long,”  he murmured.  

you didn’t reply. you couldn’t. not when the air felt so… different.  

so instead, you turned back to the TV, grabbed another spoonful of lava cake, and shoved it into your mouth as an excuse to not say anything.  

he chuckled softly, the sound barely audible over the hum of the TV.  

♡ ♡ ♡

the next few days went by pretty much the same. whenever you bumped into jaemin in the hallway, the parking lot, or even at the local cafe, his eyes would lock on you like a heat-seeking missile, ready to tease you in a way that you hated to admit was starting to feel oddly enjoyable.

but everything escalated the day minnie came to visit you.

it had been a while since you two last saw each other, given that she lived in a different city. as soon as she arrived, you were buzzing with excitement. but you’d forgotten one crucial thing… minnie had a rare, borderline supernatural ability to drive you absolutely insane.

“i can't believe you had a second chicken date with him and still didn’t jump his bones… have i taught you nothing?” she said, exasperated as she popped a handful of popcorn into her mouth. dawson’s creek reruns were playing in the background, and as if that show didn’t depress you enough, minnie’s relentless criticism of your non-existent love life was making it worse.

“it wasn’t a chicken date,” you groaned. “we had cake. and why would i jump his bones when we’ve only just started speaking more than two words to each other like, last week?”

“you don’t get it,” minnie said, turning to face you with the gravity of someone about to lecture you. “a man doesn’t just knock on your door asking you to have dessert with him unless he has a different idea of what 'dessert' is.” she raised her eyebrows suggestively.

“ew, don’t make that face,” you winced. 

“i’m serious, y/n. if you keep shutting down every man that’s interested in you, the only dick you’ll get is that inflatable one i got you.”

“not even,” you sighed, slumping against the couch. “i haven’t taken it out of the box yet. and i won’t. that thing already embarrassed me enough for the next two lifetimes.”

“but if you think about it, if it weren’t for tom, you’d still be secretly crushing on dr. mcdreamy.”

“you did not just name the sex doll tom,” you said, eyes narrowing.

“i think we should at least go out tonight since you’re clearly not gonna put the moves on your sexy neighbor.”

“absolutely not,” you shook your head, pulling the blanket tighter around you. “ i’m not about to waste my night talking to any guy who thinks 'intellectual debate' means arguing about protein powder.”

“okay, harsh… no wonder you’re single,” she muttered as she got up and started tapping away on her phone.

“who’re you calling?” you asked, squinting at her suspiciously.

“there’s only one person who can drag you out of this apartment,” she muttered with a sly grin. "hold on—hello? jake? yeah, guess who i’m with right now?" she paused dramatically, glancing at you with a wicked smile. "your favorite girl, obviously!" she snickered, tilting her phone just enough to snap a photo of you mid-protest. 

“dude, c’mon, i’m in my grandma pjs right now,” you said, pointing at the flowery pajama top you were wearing.

“how about we meet up at the neo club? yeah? awesome, and bring one of your hot friends,” she added, grinning like a cat that just cornered a bird.

she hung up, looking triumphant, but you folded your arms with a scowl.

“there’s no way i’m going out,” you said flatly.

♡ ♡ ♡

you still ended up going out.

but only because they offered to pay for all your drinks, and who were you to refuse such a generous offer?

it didn’t take long to spot jake. he was already stirring up trouble at the bar, his charm dialed up to 100 as he leaned in close, tossing out some line that had the bartender blushing so hard she had to look away just to keep it together.

“ugh, casanovas make me sick,” you grumbled, scrunching your nose as you watched him.

“stop harassing the lady, jake,” minnie said, grabbing him by the collar and tugging him away from the bar. he turned around with a mock-offended gasp.

“excuse you, she was absolutely enjoying that,” he said with an infuriating level of confidence. he wasn’t even wrong—the bartender was still grinning.

“whatever, tiger. look who’s out of her cave!” minnie announced, shoving you forward slightly.

jake’s eyes lit up the second he saw you. he practically lunged forward, wrapping you in a bear hug and lifting you off the ground.

“no way! my y/n! it’s been, what, four years since i last saw you?” he spun you in a small circle before finally setting you down.

“please don’t be so dramatic. we saw each other last year on your birthday,” you laughed, shoving his chest.

“too long for me, babe. you know seeing you is always a treat,” he said, giving you one of those overly saccharine smiles he knew would make you roll your eyes.

“when are you ever not flirting? is that your default mode? is there any way to reset you?” you said, tapping his forehead like you were trying to reboot a broken phone.

“you know you love it,” he winked, and somehow it was both annoying and charming at the same time.

“anyways, where are the drinks i was promised?” you extended a hand expectantly.

“here you go, princess,” he said, handing you a tequila sunrise with a flourish. “and here you go, troll,” he added, handing minnie a margarita.

“i’ll kill you,” minnie slapped his arm hard enough to make him flinch.

“ow, abuse! abuse!” he cried dramatically, clutching his arm as if he’d been mortally wounded.

“you’ll live,” minnie muttered, taking a sip from her glass.

the night was already off to a wild start, and you had a sinking feeling it was only going to get worse.

♡ ♡ ♡

“so you’re telling me the box with all the freaky shit minnie sent ended up being delivered to your neighbor?” jake was practically doubled over, clutching his stomach from laughing so hard. “and he opened it?”

“yeah, laugh it up,” you said, unamused as you swirled the straw in your drink before taking a long sip. you’d lost count of how many drinks you’d had, but the warmth in your chest and the slight buzz in your head told you it was definitely more than a couple.

“if i were you, i would’ve moved,” he said, wiping at the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. “i’m trying to think of a time i’ve been that embarrassed and not even my drunkest moments come close.” he shook his head like he genuinely felt bad for you, though the grin on his face said otherwise.

“believe me, i tried to avoid him,” you said, gesturing with your drink in hand. “but somehow, after that, he started sticking to me like gum on a shoe.”

“i’m telling you, he wants you!” minnie slurred, her eyes barely staying focused as she swayed slightly in her seat. clearly, she was the drunkest one at the table, her words carrying that telltale wobble of too many cocktails.

“don’t start with that again,” you shot back, tossing a napkin in her direction. “he doesn’t want me. he just likes messing with me because he figured out i’m an easy target.”

“oh, really?” she said, eyes narrowing like she’d just come up with the most brilliant plan. “then call him right now. and if he answers, put him on speaker.”

“like hell i will,” you snorted, glancing at your phone. “it’s-” you checked the time “…literally 3am. why would i disturb him just to prove your silly little theories?”

“coward! coward!” minnie started chanting, slapping the table. jake immediately caught on and joined her, their voices syncing up in a way that only drunk friends could manage. “coward! y/n is a chicken!” they sang in unison, making sure to drag out the last word obnoxiously.

“ugh, why do i have friends like you two…” you muttered, covering your ears as their chanting grew louder. “okay! fine! stop that right now, i’ll text him. once.” you jabbed a finger in the air for emphasis, giving them both a stern glare that did absolutely nothing to dim their excitement.

“what do i even say…” you groaned, staring at your empty chat with jaemin.

“send him a picture,” jake suggested.

you thought about it for a second, chewing on the inside of your cheek. “fine,” you muttered, lifting your phone. fueled by alcohol and peer pressure, you decided on the classic "oops, wrong person" strategy. you snapped a quick selfie, pursing your lips into a kissy face for maximum effect. you didn’t even care that it was blurry or that you looked very obviously drunk. in fact, that made it funnier. you snickered to yourself as you hit send.

“he won’t reply, guys,” you said confidently, tossing your phone onto the table face-down. but barely ten seconds passed before you heard the unmistakable ping of a new message.

“you were saying?” minnie arched a brow, crossing her arms in mock satisfaction.

“it’s probably just some random notification,” you said with a shrug, but your voice wavered as you picked up your phone. you tapped the screen, eyes widening slightly at the name that appeared.

jaemin neighbor (3:02am): ‘thought you weren’t one to party hard?’ 

the message was punctuated with a little smirk emoji that somehow made it worse.

“what’d he say?” minnie asked, leaning in so far you thought she might topple over.

you barely had time to answer before another message popped up.

jaemin neighbor (3:03am): ‘don’t drink too much though, you’re still recovering from that cold. and don’t let strangers hold your drink.’

your eyes stayed glued to the screen, heart doing an odd little flip that you refused to acknowledge. 

“oh my god, he’s worried,” minnie gasped, hands flying to her face. “he’s literally whipped!” she squealed, grabbing your shoulders and shaking you back and forth with unhinged glee.

♡ ♡ ♡

after seeing jaemin's message, you decided you needed to get drunker to drown out the thoughts swirling in your head. by the time you got back to the apartment, your uber driver had to practically haul you out of the car. you were a complete mess, your feet barely cooperating with the ground beneath you. minnie ended up hitting it off with jake’s friend so she decided to leave with him to do god knows what dirty things.

“woah there!” you yelped as you stumbled, nearly falling backward.

“ma’am, what’s your apartment number?” the driver asked. all you could do was laugh and mumble some random string of numbers that didn’t come close to making sense.

“y/n?” a familiar voice cut through the fog in your mind, sharp and clear like a bell. it almost sobered you up on the spot. he was wearing his scrubs and his tired appearance told you that he was coming back from a long shift.

“mr. doctor is here!” you announced with unrestrained glee, throwing your arms up. the sudden movement made you lose balance, and you tilted sideways bumping into the driver.

“you know her, sir?” he asked, his forehead shiny with sweat, clearly desperate for an exit out of this.

“uhm, yeah, she’s my next-door neighbor. i’ll take it from here, thanks,” jaemin said, stepping in with the calm authority of someone who’s seen this exact scenario a dozen times before. with zero effort, he crouched down and hoisted you onto his back, his hands steady under your thighs to keep you secure.

“wheee!” you squealed, your cheek smushed against the back of his head.

“hold on tight, yeah?” he muttered, his tone dry but fond as he adjusted his grip on your legs.

inside the elevator, you got bold. maybe it was the tequila, maybe it was just you accepting your undeniable attraction to jaemin, but your hands found their way to his arms. you gave his biceps an experimental squeeze and then hummed, thoroughly impressed. “do all doctors got big, muscular arms or just you?” you asked, squeezing again as if conducting a very important scientific investigation.

jaemin’s lips twitched, like he was fighting back a smile. “do you always get this touchy when you’re drunk?” he replied, shifting you slightly higher on his back.

“oh wow, you smell so good,” you said, burying your nose in his hair. “like… like one of those fancy candles you’re not supposed to light cause they’re too expensive.” you giggled against his head, completely oblivious to the way his ears flushed pink at the compliment.

“i told you not to drink too much,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “this is dangerous, you know.”

“sorryyyyyy,” you whined, dragging out the word. “but you know what they say about alcohol… uh, ‘wine before whiskey, you’re feelin’ frisky’?” you squinted, clearly thinking very hard.

jaemin tilted his head, giving you a side-eye full of disbelief and amusement. “that’s absolutely not the saying,” he said, his voice low and warm with a hint of laughter.

“no?” you pouted. “then it’s… ‘drinks before thoughts, memories get lost!’” you declared with absolute confidence.

he let out a full, genuine laugh, his shoulders shaking under you as he carried you down the hallway. “close enough,” he muttered.

♡ ♡ ♡

in front of your door, you squinted at the digital lock like it had personally wronged you. you pressed one button, then another, and frowned when the screen blinked angrily. your brain felt like it had been stuffed with cotton, and trying to remember your code right was harder than trying to solve a riddle while underwater. 

“ugh, whatever,” you groaned, letting out an exaggerated sigh before plopping down on the floor, legs sprawled out.

“what are you doing?” jaemin's voice came from above, and when you tilted your head back, you saw him crouched in front of you, eyebrows raised.

“can’t remember the code, so m’ sleeping here. duh,” you replied with the kind of lazy confidence and lack of urgency only drunk people have. you reached out and booped him on the nose simply because he looked cute like a bunny in your inebriated mind.

he blinked, clearly thrown, before a grin tugged at the corner of his lips. “no, you’re not,” he said, shaking his head. he stood up, offering his hand. “come on.”

“ugh, fiiine,” you groaned, letting him pull you up, though you were basically dead weight. he slipped an arm around your waist to steady you, and the warmth of his hand pressed against the bare skin where your shirt had ridden up. the touch was casual but it sent a sharp jolt of awareness through you. 

you bit your lip to distract yourself from the sudden rush of heat. blame it on the alcohol. definitely the alcohol. 

“i never sleep in a guy’s apartment ‘til…” you held up your hand and started counting on your fingers, lips moving as you mumbled to yourself. “like the 6th date.” 

“that so?” jaemin glanced at you, his voice raspy in a way that made something flip in your stomach. 

“mmhm,” you hummed, leaning your weight against him. “gotta have rules, y’know? safety first.” 

“you’re not wrong,” he replied, guiding you toward his door with slow, careful steps. “but that logic’s got a flaw, don’t you think?” 

you squinted up at him, skeptical. “what flaw?” 

“you’re here with me, and we’re not even on date three,” he said simply, giving you a pointed look. 

you tried to ignore the fact that he considered the elevator and that night at your apartment as dates.

“that’s different,” you countered, waving a hand like that somehow made you right. 

he glanced down at you, eyes sharp but soft in the way they flickered across your face. “how?” 

you blinked, suddenly too aware of the space between you two — or the lack of it. his arm was firm around your waist, and you could feel the rise and fall of his breathing. 

“you tell me, doc,” you muttered, avoiding his eyes. 

there was a brief silence, just the quiet hum of the hallway lights and the soft shuffle of your feet. his fingers curled slightly against your hip, the pressure grounding but gentle. when he spoke again, his tone had shifted — quieter, steadier. 

“i’d never do anything to hurt you,” he said, voice sure like a promise. his eyes met yours, serious in a way that knocked the air right out of your lungs. 

you didn’t have a quick comeback for that one. 

he held your gaze for a moment longer before clearing his throat, eyes flicking away. “anyway,” he said, his voice back to its usual steady calm, “you can sit for a bit. i’ll get you some tea and food, sober you up.” 

“huh?” you blinked, your tipsy mind still trying to catch up after that intense moment you just shared. 

“sit,” he repeated, guiding you toward the couch like you were a stubborn cat. “tea. food. you’ll thank me later.” 

you flopped onto the couch with zero grace, still buzzing from everything.

your head was throbbing, but that wasn’t half as uncomfortable as the rapid thumping of your heart against your chest. it wasn’t normal. it couldn’t be normal. you pressed a hand to your chest like that might somehow slow it down.  

“what is this…” you muttered under your breath, tilting your head back against the couch. 

you were spiraling, no doubt about it. overthinking everything. it’s just jaemin, you reminded yourself. your neighbor. your kind neighbor. of course he’d say stuff like that. he’s a good person, and good people say things like "i’d never hurt you" all the time, right? it didn’t mean anything. didn’t mean a single thing. 

calm down, y/n.

you blew out a slow breath, trying to trick your heart into believing you were unbothered. 

jaemin came back moments later, a cup of tea in one hand and a small plate of buttered toast in the other. he’d ditched his jacket, now in just a fitted black t-shirt and scrub pants. you weren’t sure what was more distracting… the way the fabric clung to his chest and arms, or the way the veins in his forearms stood out as he set the plate down. you stared a little too long, gaze following the flex of his muscles.  

he’s just a guy, you thought, just a guy with arms that look like they were carved out of marble. 

“okay, drink this,” he said, nudging the tea toward you. his voice had slipped into his "doctor tone", soft but firm, like he fully expected to be obeyed. “you’ll feel better. if you feel dizzy or like you’re gonna throw up, let me know. i’ll go shower real quick, and you can shower after.”  

he disappeared into his room before you could respond

you sat there for a second, letting the silence settle around you. without him there, you finally took a proper look at his place. it was weirdly nice for a building as old and shabby as this one. sleek, modern furniture, spotless floors, a faint scent of something woodsy and clean. candles lined the windowsill, and he had an at-home gym tucked neatly in one corner. 

of course he does, you thought, he’s probably too busy saving lives to hit a real gym. 

you bit your lip, remembering the way his arms had felt around your waist. the heat of his skin seeping through the fabric of your shirt. and now, after seeing how built he actually was, it was starting to make a lot more sense. 

“ugh, stop it,” you muttered, shaking your head. it was just the alcohol messing with you. that, and the fact that you were definitely ovulating because there was no way you’d be acting like this otherwise. the combination was lethal. 

you reached for the tea, eager for something to snap you out of your head, but the second you took a sip— 

“ah—!” you yelped, dropping the cup. hot liquid splashed onto the floor, the mug clattering after it. thankfully, it missed your legs but your tongue throbbed like you’d just bitten into molten lava. 

“shit,” you hissed, sticking your tongue out like that might cool it down. 

“what happened?” jaemin’s voice came from the bathroom, sharp with concern.  

“‘s fine!” you tried to call back, but with your tongue still stinging, it came out garbled. “ihz ohkaay!” 

the sound of the shower stopped. you barely had a second to panic before jaemin burst into the living room, dripping wet, a loose towel slung dangerously low on his hips.  

you froze. 

oh.

oh my god.

if this were an anime, you’d have shot out a nosebleed so powerful it’d blast you into another dimension.  

“what happened?” he asked, eyes darting to the mess on the floor, then back to you. he crouched beside you, eyes scanning you likely looking for injuries. water dripped from his hair, trailing down the sharp planes of his face, his chest, his abs… 

his abs.

your gaze locked on the V-line that dipped beneath the edge of his towel, and your brain short-circuited. every coherent thought you’d ever had dissolved on the spot. you didn’t even realize you’d spoken aloud until you heard your own voice. 

“oh my god.”  

jaemin blinked, eyebrows drawing together in worry. “what?” 

“n-nothing!” you stammered, face heating faster than the tea had. you slapped a hand over your eyes like that might erase the image from your mind. it did not. it was burned in.

he frowned, his puppy-dog concern on full display. “i’m sorry, i should’ve warned you the tea was hot.” his gaze shifted to your tongue, still sticking out as you tried to cool it with air. his frown deepened. 

“izzokay,” you said, or at least tried to. with your tongue swollen and numb, it sounded more like “iz okeh, iz my fauwt.”  

“hold on,” he said, his tone dropping into doctor mode. “stay put. you might cut yourself on the glass.”  

he moved with quick precision, ducking into the kitchen and coming back with a towel and some paper towels to clean up. you, unfortunately, had nothing to do but sit there and watch him. and watch him you did.  

the way his muscles shifted under his skin with every movement. the flex of his back, the dip of his hips, the subtle pull of his abs as he crouched to pick up shards of glass. you sat there like a fool, cheeks blazing, unable to look away.  

he could model for anatomy textbooks, you thought, completely mesmerized. like, imagine turning to page 47 and seeing this man labeled as "muscular system: front view."

every part of him moved with that annoying grace certain people just had. the kind of grace that was only possible when you were stupidly, unfairly attractive.  

he wiped the floor clean and tossed the paper towels aside, giving one final glance at the spot to make sure there wasn’t a single shard left behind. then he turned to you.  

“all clear,” he said, standing to his full height. the towel on his hips slipped slightly lower, and your gaze shot to the ceiling so fast you almost got whiplash.  

“thanks,” you muttered, trying to keep your eyes anywhere but there. you still saw it in your peripheral vision. 

he tilted his head, eyes narrowing. “you sure you’re okay?” 

am i okay? absolutely not. your tongue was burnt, your pride was in pieces, and your brain was playing a slow-motion highlight reel of his abs. you were the furthest thing from okay.  

“yep,” you croaked, voice cracking at the end. 

“here you go,” he said, handing you a glass of cold water. “it should help your tongue.”

“thanks,” you mumbled, cradling the glass with both hands. you refused to look directly at him, eyes darting everywhere in the room. the slow drip of condensation on the glass suddenly became the most fascinating thing in the world.

“are you hot? you’re sweating,” he asked, leaning forward, his gaze landing on you with that soft concern he wore too easily.

you nearly spat the water back out. of course you were hot. this whole situation was hot. the room was hot. he was hot.

“it’s fine,” you blurted, shaking your head a little too quickly. “i’ll just shower.”

“yeah, sure. go ahead,” he said, nodding toward the hallway. “bathroom’s the door on the left.”

he glanced down at you, eyes flickering over your dress just briefly. instinctively, you tugged at the hem like that would magically make it longer. you should’ve known minnie was setting you up when she called this look “casually dangerous.”

“your clothes…” he trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck. “they don’t look super comfortable to sleep in, so if you want, i can lend you something.”

there was no reason for your heart to leap into your throat the way it did. it was a normal offer. a completely normal, helpful offer. but your brain decided to be weird about it. suddenly, you were picturing yourself in one of his shirts, fabric hanging loose on you, the scent of detergent and him faintly clinging to it. god, you needed help.

“okay,” you said, trying to sound normal, but it came out too fast.

“i’ll grab them for you,” he said, already heading toward his room.

as soon as he disappeared, you collapsed against the couch, exhaling hard like you’d just survived a boss fight. you dragged your hands down your face, letting out a muffled groan.

“pull it together,” you hissed at yourself.

walking into the bathroom didn’t help. the warmth hit you instantly, soft steam curling in the air. it smelled like aftershave and clean skin, and if there was a single coherent thought left in your brain, it got drowned out by the sensory overload.

“seriously?” you muttered under your breath, tilting your head back with a groan. “what am i, thirteen?”

the mirror was fogged up, so you wiped at it with your sleeve, only to be faced with your own reflection staring back at you like girl, really? you pressed your hands to your cheeks, feeling the warmth that had nothing to do with the steam.

“i’m normal,” you announced firmly to no one but yourself.

except you weren’t, and you knew it. it wasn’t just the alcohol making your brain short-circuit anymore. you were sober now, and this was just you being ridiculous. the neatly folded clothes on the counter didn’t help. a plain white shirt and a pair of sweatpants sat there, fresh and clean.

you eyed the sweatpants, then glanced down at your legs, already knowing how this was gonna play out. still, you gave it a shot, pulling them up your legs after taking a (very) long shower. unsurprisingly, they swallowed you whole, the cuffs dragging behind you. yeah, no. you’d trip over yourself in less than a minute. sighing, you snatched up the shirt instead and pulled it over your head. it slipped down past your hips, the sleeves flopping well past your hands, turning them into little paw-like stubs.

“this will have to do,” you decided with a sharp nod to yourself.

when you finally stepped out of the bathroom, jaemin was lounging on the couch, scrolling on his phone. his gaze flickered up at you, and for a split second, he just blinked, eyes tracking down your frame before quickly darting back to his phone.

“where are the pants?” he asked, lips quirking up just slightly at the corner.

“too big,” you said. 

“hmm” he hummed, looking up and letting his gaze drag just a little slower this time, eyes sharp with mischief. his tongue pressed against his cheek, a lopsided grin threatening to break free. “i see”

if your heart was pounding before, it was in full percussion solo mode now. but you just flopped down beside him, acting like everything was cool, like you weren’t hyperaware of every inch of bare skin peeking out from under the too-big shirt.

you glanced at the clock on the wall — 4:30 a.m. blinked back at you in dim red light. too late to be awake but too early to call it morning. your eyes shifted to jaemin, and you could see the weight of exhaustion hanging on him. his blinks were slower, his body slouched deeper into the couch cushions.  

“jaem…” the nickname slipped out without warning, soft but certain. his eyes lifted to you immediately.

“you can go to sleep. i’m fine,” you said with a small smile, hoping it was convincing. “and… thank you. for everything. you’re too nice to me.”

his gaze lingered on you, steady and unguarded, like he was committing you to memory. then, his lips curved slowly into a smile. not his usual teasing grin but something gentler, sweeter. it hit you square in the chest, and you had to physically fight the urge to lean forward and kiss him.  

you did not win that fight.

instead, you moved on instinct… leaning in and wrapping your arms around him. the moment you did, you panicked. it felt stiff, clumsy, like you’d misread the whole situation. you were just about to pull away when his arms slid around your waist, slow but sure.  

he pulled you in, pulled you all the way in, until you were practically draped over him. your breath caught in your throat, heart thudding so hard you swore he could feel it.  

his head dipped down, face tucked into the curve of your neck. the warmth of his breath hit your skin in soft bursts, and his hold on you tightened just a little more.  

“it’s my pleasure,” he murmured, voice low and raspier than it had been all night. his lips brushed against your collarbone as he spoke, “always.”

good god, you nearly let out a sound you’d never be able to live down. every nerve in your body was on high alert. it had been so long since you’d been held like this.

his nose nudged against your neck lazily. you felt the butterflies in your stomach riot, wings frantic against your ribs.  

“jaem…” you said, but it came out too soft, too breathless to sound like an actual warning.  

“you smell good,” he muttered, voice all sleep and satisfaction. “you always smell good.” he breathed you in.

lord, have mercy.

“i think we should both sleep,” you murmured, but neither of you moved. neither of you even thought about moving.  

“yeah,” he said, voice low and uneven.  

“yeah,” you echoed, but it sounded less like agreement and more like an excuse for staying right where you were.  

he pulled back just enough to look at you, but his arms stayed firmly around your waist. his eyes flickered down to your lips. on reflex, you wet them with a quick swipe of your tongue, suddenly self-conscious. his gaze darkened and you swore you felt the shift in the air.  

“stop me,” he said, voice barely above a whisper.

but stopping him didn’t even cross your mind. not when he was looking at you like that. not when his face inched closer, closer…

his lips met yours softly at first, hesitant, like he was waiting for you to decide. you decided quickly. your hands slipped into his hair, pulling him in as you kissed him back with everything you’d been holding in all night.  

he responded instantly. his hand cupped the back of your neck, his fingers threading through your hair to hold you in place, deepening the kiss until it wasn’t soft anymore.

his other hand found your hip, gripping you firmly as he shifted you on top of him, his touch guiding you like he knew exactly where he wanted you to be. dangerous. this was so, so dangerous. 

because you were only wearing that stupidly oversized shirt and the flimsy scrap of underwear underneath it. and when you settled fully onto his lap, you felt everything.

he must’ve felt it too, because his breath stuttered, and a needy groan escaped him, muffled against your lips. you felt it vibrate through your whole body, made you shiver as if he’d pressed his mouth to your spine instead.  

his hand on your hip squeezed, fingers digging in just a little harder. 

the kiss grew messier, wetter, breaths and tongues tangled together in a way that felt far past the point of no return. it didn’t help that his other hand left your neck, sliding down, fingertips trailing along your side before slipping under the hem of the shirt.  

his hand slid up and up until…

he froze the second he realized. his palm pressed against bare skin, no bra, no barrier. you felt his breath hitch at the same moment you heard it.  

“fuck,” he groaned into your mouth, his voice rougher now, heavier. his fingers spread wide, covering as much skin as he could reach, his palm warm and steady against your ribs.  

and when his thumb brushed up, grazing just barely under the curve of your breast, the sound you made was far too needy. his gaze flicked back up to yours. like he was asking. like he was giving you one last out.  

you didn’t take it.  

his hand moved again, bolder this time. his palm slid over the curve of your breast, warm and firm, fingers curling around it as if it belonged to him. you sighed at the contact, eyes fluttering closed as your head tipped forward. it wasn’t enough. you didn’t know what “enough” would be, but it wasn’t this.  

he must’ve felt it too, because his other hand rose to cup your cheek, his thumb stroking your skin in slow, soothing circles. he tilted your face up, and for a moment, you thought he’d kiss you again. you tilted toward him, lips parting, but he had other plans.  

instead, he leaned in and pressed his lips just beneath your ear. the warmth of his mouth sent a shiver down your spine, and before you could even process that, he was moving lower. he kissed his way along your neck, slow and steady, with the kind of patience that made your heart feel like it was on a countdown. 

and then the kisses changed. his teeth grazed your skin, his lips sealed over the spot, and he sucked hard enough to make you gasp. your hands flew up, gripping at his shoulders as he trailed love bites down to your collarbones, marking you in a way that felt possessive, the kind you’d see after he was gone.  

“jaemin,” you whispered, your fingers digging into his shirt. his name barely sounded like a name anymore.  

his only answer was a low hum against your collarbone, his hand still working under your shirt. his fingers traced lazy lines along the sensitive skin beneath your breast, and just when you thought he was going to stay gentle, he pinched your nipple between his fingers.  

you gasped sharply, hips jolting forward on reflex. “oh—”

he didn’t stop. he rolled it slowly between his fingers, feeling out every little reaction you gave him, every twitch and shiver. your body betrayed you, arching into his touch, and the way he smiled against your neck told you he knew exactly what he was doing to you.  

instinct took over before you could think it through. your hips rocked forward against his lap — once, twice — chasing relief from the ache that had been building low in your stomach for too long. you felt the slickness between your thighs, hot and damp, soaking through the thin fabric of your underwear and seeping onto his sweatpants.  

he felt it too. you knew he did from the sharp intake of breath he took, from the way his hands squeezed tighter his fingers digging into your hip, his other hand cupping your breast with just a little more pressure.  

“fuck,” he groaned, head falling forward, his forehead pressing against your shoulder. his hips shifted beneath you, his arousal impossible to miss now. he was hard, and every roll of your hips dragged against him perfectly, making him curse under his breath.  

the heat of it all was unbearable, and you had no one to blame but yourself. but at this point, did it even matter?  

he lifted his head, jaw tight, eyes half-lidded. his gaze flickered from your face to where your hips met his lap, his tongue darting out to wet his lips 

“i don't know how much longer i can hold back…” his voice was strained.  

you blinked down at him, heart thudding hard against your ribs. every nerve in your body felt like it had been lit on fire, but somehow, you still managed to smile.  

“who told you to hold back?”you said, voice soft but sure.  

“shit…” he muttered, his voice low and wrecked. his fingers dug into your hips, guiding them down against him with a deliberate pressure that had your breath hitching in your throat.  

it wasn’t just you moving anymore. he was moving you, rocking you back and forth against him faster, tired of pretending you weren’t both desperate for it.  

your head tipped back as a broken moan spilled from your lips. the friction was too good, just the right amount of pressure to have your thighs trembling. the heat between you had gone from warm to blistering, every grind making you more sensitive, more aware of the damp mess you were both making between his sweatpants and your underwear.  

his eyes locked on you, not wanting to miss a single second of it… the arch of your back, the part of your lips, the way your breath caught every time you sank down a little harder. 

“look at you,”  he breathed, voice rough and half-laughing. “getting this worked up over a little humping”

you leaned forward, pressing your forehead to his. “i’m clearly not the only one,” you shot back breathlessly..  

his lips were back on you in an instant,  rougher than before, all teeth and tongue. his hands slid up your back, under his shirt you were wearing, fingers dragging against bare skin. his nails scratched lightly at your spine, sending chills down your whole body, and you gasped into his mouth.  

he didn’t let you pull away. his lips chased yours, like he’d been starving for this, like now that he’d had a taste, there was no way he was stopping. he tilted his head, deepening the kiss, and your body moved on instinct, hips rolling harder against him.  

“fuck, that’s it,” he groaned, head falling back against the couch as he sucked in a breath through his teeth. his hands slid down to your thighs, gripping them tight as if to ground himself, but all it did was spur you on.  

you leaned forward, trailing kisses down his jaw, his neck, biting just enough to feel him shudder beneath you. his pulse was wild under your lips, and when you grazed your teeth against it, his hips bucked up so hard it knocked the air out of your lungs.  

“you’re making it so hard to be soft right now,” he said through gritted teeth, head tipped back, neck bared for you like an invitation. his eyes flicked down to where you sat on him, where the line between you two had blurred so badly it didn’t seem to exist anymore.  

“then don’t be,” you whispered against his ear, biting down on the lobe just to hear him curse again. “nobody asked you to be soft.”

that was all it took. his grip on your hips tightened, his fingers digging into your skin with purpose. his next move was fast—you were on your back before you could register it, his body hovering over you, his weight pressing you down in a way that made your heart race in your chest.  

his eyes met yours, pupils blown wide, hair falling into his face. he looked like a mess and it was perfect.

“say that again,” he said, voice nothing but gravel and breath. his hands slid up your thighs, pushing them apart, the slow drag of his touch enough to make you squirm. “say it again so i know you mean it.”

your chest rose and fell with each shallow breath, and you reached up, fingers threading through his hair.  

“nobody,” you whispered, tugging his head down just enough to make sure he heard you, “asked you to be soft.”

for a second, he didn’t move. just stared down at you like he’d never wanted anything more in his life than to eat you up.

then he leaned in, and when he kissed you this time, it wasn’t soft or tentative or testing the waters. it was raw, hungry, and so deep it knocked the air out of you. his hands moved with purpose, sliding up your thighs, pushing his shirt higher and higher until the air hit bare skin.  

everything was heat and pressure and need. he was all you could feel, all you could hear — his breath heavy and uneven, his name falling from your lips like it was the only word you knew.  

and when he finally pressed his forehead to yours, eyes squeezed shut like he was fighting to hold himself together, you knew you’d both already lost.

the next thing you know, his hands are tugging your shirt up and over your head, the fabric barely brushing past your arms before it’s gone. the cold air hits your skin for half a second before jaemin’s mouth replaces it, hot and relentless as he traces the curve of your collarbone, his lips dragging lower, slower.

when his mouth finally closes around your right breast, it’s warm and wet and just enough to have you mewling. his tongue flicks over your nipple before sucking it into his mouth, his teeth grazing it just lightly, sending a sharp jolt of heat straight down to your core.  

his free hand slides lower, fingers trailing down your stomach, over your hip, and slipping beneath the waistband of your lace underwear like it’s the most natural thing in the world. he moves without hesitation, fingers seeking out the slick mess waiting for him, and the second he finds it, he lets out a low, rough groan against your skin.  

“god, you’re so fucking wet,” he mutters, pulling off your breast with a slick pop, his breath fanning across your skin. he glances down between your legs, his gaze so heavy you feel it like a touch. his eyes darken, his tongue darting out to wet his lips like he’s hungry just looking at you.  

he hooks his fingers into the sides of your underwear, dragging them down in one slow pull, eyes locked on you like he’s scared to blink and miss it. the fabric barely makes it past your knee before he’s already looking back up at you, his pupils blown wide, lips parted with the kind of need that makes your chest feel too tight.  

“let me eat you out,” he says, and his voice is rough and desperate.

you bite your lip like you’re thinking it over, but you know you’re going to say yes. you just like seeing him like this — all unsteady and breathless, too far gone to hide it.  

“please,” he says again, this time more ragged, his voice cracking at the end like he might actually lose it if you make him wait any longer.  

“okay,” you say, and it’s all he needs.  

he’s on you in a heartbeat, sliding down your body so fast it’s dizzying. his hands are firm on your thighs, pulling them apart, spreading you wide until there’s nowhere left to hide. his gaze flicks up one last time, meeting yours like he’s checking, like he’s giving you one last chance to stop him.  

but you don’t. you won’t.

he presses his fingers to your folds, parting you slowly, exposing everything to him, and the breath he takes is deep, like he’s savoring the moment before the fall.  

then he leans in.  

his nose brushes against you first, just a soft nudge that has your hips twitching on instinct. then his tongue follows in one long, slow drag from bottom to top that has your breath stuttering in your chest. his grip on your thighs tightens, fingers digging into your skin like he’s steadying himself as much as you.  

he moans against you, a deep, satisfied sound that you feel as much as hear, and his tongue dives back in, licking at you like you’re his favorite thing to taste. the movements are slow at first, deliberate, his tongue exploring every part of you like he’s trying to figure out exactly what makes you fall apart.  

and you are falling apart.  

your head tilts back, eyes fluttering shut, lips parting as you let out a shaky, breathless moan. your hips twitch up, and his hands are right there to hold you down, keeping you still as his tongue moves with more certainty, more purpose, licking you with long, messy strokes that make you gasp.  

his mouth doesn’t slow, if anything, it grows more determined. his tongue moves with precision now, circling that sensitive spot before flicking against it in quick, teasing bursts that have your hips jumping despite his firm grip.  

“fuck, jaem—” your voice breaks on his name, your hands gripping the sides of the couch, searching for something, anything to ground yourself. but there’s nothing. nothing but him, his mouth, the obscene, wet sounds filling the air, and the heat building low in your stomach.

he groans again, the vibration shooting through you, his tongue flattening against you before he drags it up,

“taste so sweet,” he murmurs into you, his voice muffled, every word spoken straight into your skin. 

“could stay here all night.”

the heat in your belly twists tighter at that, something about the way he says it, like he means it, like he’d ruin himself for this… for you. you’re already too close, and he knows it. he can feel it in the way your thighs tense, in the way your breath catches and your hips press up into him like you’re chasing something you can’t quite reach.  

he hums in satisfaction, his lips wrapping around that sensitive bundle of nerves, sucking just once, just enough to make your whole body jolt.

“god, jaem, i’m—” you don’t even finish the sentence before it hits you, crashing over you in waves so intense you forget how to breathe. you squeeze your eyes shut, mouth falling open on a silent cry as the pleasure hits you all at once, white-hot and overwhelming. he doesn’t let up, his tongue flicking against you through it, coaxing every last tremor from your body.  

your fingers find his hair, tugging hard, half to ground yourself and half to make him stop because it’s all too much. he groans at the pull, but it only seems to spur him on, his hands tightening on your hips, keeping you pressed against his mouth.

“jaemin,” you say it firmer this time, tugging again, and finally, finally he pulls back, his lips and chin shiny with evidence of what he’s done.

“couldn’t help myself,” he says, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth like he’s savoring every last bit of you. his eyes are wild, pupils blown wide, his hair a mess from where you tugged at it.  

“you look so pretty when you cum,” he says, voice low and husky, and you hate the way your heart lurches in your chest as if he’s just said something sweet.  

“you’re crazy,” you mutter, still catching your breath, wiping the sweat from your forehead.  

“crazy for you,” he fires back, grin widening like he knows how corny it is and says it anyway.  

and for some reason, it makes you laugh. a soft, breathy thing you can’t hold back. 

in one smooth motion, he’s crawling back up your body, his hands framing your face as he settles his weight over you. his lips press to yours, soft at first, then deeper, hungrier. reminding you exactly where that mouth has just been. you taste yourself on him, and it sends a fresh wave of heat through you.  

“not done with you yet,”  he says against your lips, his hips pressing down against yours, and fuck, you feel how hard he is, the thick, solid pressure pressing right where you need it.  

“then don’t stop,” your fingers slide down his back, nails scraping lightly.

he flashed a wicked grin, and before you could process it, you let out a startled squeal as he hoisted you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing. his arms were firm around your legs, his shoulder pressing into your stomach, and you could feel the strength in every stride as he carried you from the living room to his bedroom. 

"jaemin!" you protested, your fists lightly tapping his back, but it only made him chuckle.

"keep squirming, baby. see where that gets you," he teased.  

he laid you down on the bed with surprising gentleness. the cool, fresh scent of his sheets surrounded you, soft fabric meeting warm skin. it was a fleeting comfort, though. you both knew they wouldn’t stay this neat for long. 

jaemin peeled off his shirt with one smooth motion, revealing the sharp lines of his chest and the taut muscles of his stomach. you bit your lip as he kicked off his sweatpants, leaving him in just his boxers. his gaze was locked on you, dark eyes brimming with heat and amusement, as if he knew exactly what you were thinking.  

you watched mesmerized as he pulled open the drawer of his nightstand, fingers searching until they found a small foil packet. he ripped it open with practiced ease, and when the condom rolled out into his palm, your eyes widened. 

"that’s not the right size," you blurted out, half-laughing. "no way."  

his eyebrows lifted, a challenge sparking in his eyes. "oh? wanna bet?" 

then his boxers hit the floor.  

oh.  

your breath caught in your throat as your eyes dropped, taking in the sight of his dick. heat flooded your face. what the hell.

“close your mouth, baby,” he said, smirking. “unless you’re planning to put it to use.”  

"shut up," you muttered, glancing away, cheeks blazing. "are you gonna do it or not?"  

“do what?” he asked innocently, even as he climbed onto the bed, caging you in with his body. he hovered just above you, his grin infuriatingly smug.  

“you know what.”  

“hmm. don’t think i do,” he murmured, eyes dropping to your lips. “wanna say it for me, pretty girl?”  

you pressed your lips together, heart thudding in your chest harder every second. you could feel the weight of him, his warmth, the tension that hung in the air like a live wire.  

“fuck… me, jaem,” you muttered, voice barely above a whisper.  

he tilted his head, eyes narrowing. “louder, baby. i know you can be louder.”  

he wasn’t wrong. flashes of earlier moments filled your mind, the way you were moaning and whimpering definitely wasn’t quiet. you swallowed the last bit of your hesitation.  

“fuck me. please.”  

he hummed, satisfied, his grin softening as he hooked his hands behind your knees and tugged you down toward him. you let out a quiet gasp, suddenly flat on your back, with him positioned directly above you. his body hovered just close enough that every shift of movement made you feel him.  

your eyes flickered up to his face, and for a second, he wasn’t teasing anymore. his gaze was steady, searching, his eyes dark but kind. he reached out, fingertips tracing your jawline with such tenderness it made you ache in a different way.  

“you okay, baby?” he asked softly, letting you know he’d stop everything if you said no.  

your heart swelled at the care in his voice.  

you nodded, fingers curling around his shoulders.  

he leaned in, close enough for his breath to fan across your face. “need words, love.”  

“i’m okay, jaem,” you said more firmly, gazing up at him. 

his eyes lingered on yours a moment longer before he nodded. he took a pillow and carefully placed it behind your lower back 

"good girl," he murmured.  

he shifted, his hands steady on your hips, grounding you as he lined himself up. the anticipation coiled tightly in your stomach, a nervous, thrilling buzz. you felt him prodding at your entrance, he swiped his tip up and down, the action made you clench in anticipation. he eased in, inch by inch, the stretch stealing every ounce of air from your lungs.  

his head dropped, forehead pressed against yours, jaw tense as his eyes squeezed shut. a soft curse left his lips. “fuck, so… so tight,” he groaned, his voice wrecked. his fingers dug into your hips, holding you still.

the moans spilling from your lips mixed with his name, coming out soft and unrestrained. every inch of him felt like too much, the kind of stretch that made your breath catch and your nails press into his shoulders. it had been so long since you'd had sex that you'd almost forgotten what it felt like, and even back then, no one had ever filled you like this. jaemin was thicker, longer, and the difference was impossible to ignore. 

"baby, if you keep squeezing me like that…" he laughed breathlessly, his fingers drawing slow, steady circles on your hip like he was trying to soothe you. “i might not make it all the way in.” 

“s’rry, you’re… just too big,” you muttered, voice coming out more wrecked than you intended. 

he bit down on his lip, eyes flicking down to where you were connected. the sight alone was about to undo him. "yeah?" he breathed, a little too satisfied with himself. his hand slid up, fingers pressing into your waist just a bit harder, grounding you in place as he pushed in deeper. 

the pressure was overwhelming, every slow inch making you feel like you might fall apart right there beneath him. and the deeper he went, the more you swore you wouldn’t last long. the tight, aching pull in your stomach was already coiling up, twisting tighter with every second.  

“you okay?” his voice was softer this time, the restraint obvious in how still he stayed once he’d finally bottomed out. his forehead pressed lightly to yours, lips hovering just close enough to brush your skin.  

“mhm,” you nodded quickly, legs shaking around him. 

“words, baby,” he said, and his fingers tilted your chin so you’d look at him. 

“i’m okay, jaem. just…just move, please,” you said, the words tumbling out before you could stop them.  

"since you asked so nicely," he said with a grin that was all teeth and trouble. his hands gripped your thighs, pulling them higher against his sides. his hips pulled back, just enough for you to feel every inch of him drag out slowly, before he pushed back in.

the breath punched out of you. you didn’t even have time to recover before he was doing it again, sharper, testing just how much you could handle. 

"god, you’re taking me so well, princess," he groaned, eyes flicking down to where your bodies connected. his hands slid up your sides, the warmth of his touch a sharp contrast to the way he was slamming into you. "like you were made for me." 

“jaem-” his name was the only thing you could manage, high-pitched and broken. your head tipped back against the pillows, eyes squeezing shut, but that only made everything feel sharper. 

“what's that?” he asked, voice rough as he leaned in closer, his lips ghosting over the corner of your mouth. "love it this much, huh?" 

you didn’t answer, didn’t need to. he could hear it in every shaky breath, feel it in the way your body reacted to him. 

his mouth was on yours a second later, messy and hot, his teeth dragging over your bottom lip before his tongue slid past it. he didn’t kiss you so much as claim you, taking everything you gave and then some. your fingers knotted in his hair, desperate for something to hold on to. the sounds between you were wet, frantic, each one making the coil in your stomach twist tighter. 

you were close… so, so close.

 but then he pulled away again, leaving you gasping at the sudden loss. before you could even think to complain, he grabbed your hips, flipping you over like it was nothing. your cheek pressed into the pillow, hips lifted, and you barely had a second to brace yourself before he was back inside you.

the first thrust knocked the air out of your lungs. it was deeper now, sharper, because he’d found a whole new spot to ruin you from. your fingers dug into the pillow, muffling the sounds spilling from your mouth, but even that wasn’t enough. the angle had you seeing stars, the kind of pressure that made your legs shake with every thrust. 

“feel that?” his voice was right at your ear, low and rough. “feels different, doesn’t it?” 

you nodded frantically, too gone to answer, but that wasn’t good enough for him. his hand slipped up, tangling in your hair, gently tugging you up just enough so he could hear you.  

“talk to me, baby.” his voice was a rasp now, barely hanging on. "tell me how it feels." 

“s’good…so good, jaem,” you gasped, words rushed and jumbled but still clear enough. "i’m- i’m gonna…”  

“go ahead, baby," he said, lips brushing against your ear before he bit down softly on your earlobe, making you jolt. "want you to cum for me." 

your whole body shuddered as the release crashed into you, slow and unrelenting, like a wave that just wouldn’t let up. it didn’t hit and fade away like usual — it lingered, making your muscles seize and tremble with every pulse. you felt boneless, your limbs heavy as you sagged against the bed, head turned to the side, cheek pressed into the pillow. jaemin stayed inside you, his grip on your hips loosening just slightly but his eyes stayed locked on you, dark and intent. you could feel him watching every little twitch of your body. 

“look at you,” he murmured, his voice rough and low. “so pretty like this.” 

he eased out of you slowly, and the emptiness that followed had you sucking in a sharp breath. your thighs shook as you tried to press them together, but his were still on you, thumb brushing softly along your inner thighs admiring how your cum slid down your dripping core. 

you glanced down, lips parting at the sight. his cock was flushed, standing firm against his stomach, the condom showing nothing but a hint of precum mixed with the mess you’d left behind. a slow heat pooled in your belly again, your body already responding before your mind could catch up.  

“you didn’t—” you started, but the words dissolved in your throat, eyes flickering back up to meet his.  

you didn’t wait for him to say anything. your hand shot out, fingers curling around his wrist, and you tugged him forward. he followed easily, letting you pull him in close, his lips already parting like he was expecting a kiss. but just as he leaned in, you braced a hand on his chest and shoved him down flat on his back. 

“oh?” he breathed out a soft, surprised laugh, his eyes widening as his head hit the pillow. “what’s this, huh?”  

“shh,” you muttered, climbing over him, one leg swinging over his hips until you were straddling him. your palms flattened on his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat under your hands. 

“bossy now, are we?” his grin stretched wider, his hands sliding up your thighs with a slow, deliberate touch. he squeezed just above your knees, fingertips pressing into your skin.  

“quiet,” you said leaning forward, your breath warm against his ear. “thought you’d like a girl who takes charge.” 

his head tipped back with a breathy laugh. “oh, i do,” he said, voice trailing off into a low hum as his eyes dipped to where your hips hovered just above him. “but i like it even more when she can keep up.” 

the corner of your mouth tugged up into a grin. “we’ll see,” you muttered, reaching between your bodies to wrap your hand around him. he sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth, his whole body going rigid beneath you. even with just the faintest pressure of your hand, you could feel him twitch, his hips bucking up slightly. 

“s-sensitive,” he hissed, jaw tightening as he pressed his head back into the pillow. but he didn’t stop you, didn’t even try. if anything, his fingers dug harder into your thighs, holding you steady like he was afraid you’d pull away. 

“thought you could keep up,” you shot back, glancing up at him. his brows furrowed, his eyes squeezing shut for a second before they flickered back open. the teasing look on his face was gone now, replaced with something hungrier, more focused.  

you lined him up with you, heart thudding hard against your ribs. you’d done this before, but it felt different now… the weight of his eyes on you, the way his hands gripped you just a little tighter as you slowly lowered yourself onto him. the stretch was slow, inch by inch until you felt him fill you completely. 

“f-f—” his curse broke off into a low groan, his chest rising sharply as his hands slid up to your waist. “god, you’re—” he didn’t finish. couldn’t finish. his eyes screwed shut, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip so hard you thought he might draw blood.  

you braced your hands on his chest, fingers curling just slightly as you adjusted to the feeling. the heat in your core burned brighter, the ache of it twisting into something sharper, more desperate. you shifted your hips just a little, testing it, and the friction hit you so perfectly you gasped, nails digging into his chest.  

“you okay?” his voice was strained, barely more than a whisper, but there was a thread of concern woven through it. his eyes cracked open, heavy-lidded but focused on you.  

“mhm,” you nodded, breathless as you lifted your hips slowly, feeling every inch of him slide out before sinking back down just as slow. his head tipped back, throat bobbing as he swallowed hard, a low groan rattling from his chest. 

“yeah, just like that,” he muttered, his grip on you loosening as he let you set the pace. “take your time, pretty girl.” his words slurred just a little, as if he wasn’t fully in control of them anymore. “feels so…” his breath hitched, head tilting back against the pillow. 

his hands never stopped moving, though. they roamed up your waist, across your ribs until they found your boobs, they played there for a minute before sliding down to grip your thighs again. every time you dropped your hips, you watched the way his face twisted — brows pulling together, lips parting, his eyes half-lidded and glassy. his fingers twitched, his grip faltering like he wanted to touch you everywhere at once. 

“harder,” he breathed, his voice so quiet you almost missed it. his eyes flicked up to yours, gaze locked, lips parted and shiny with spit. “don’t hold back.”  

you bit your lip, grinning through the burn in your legs as you shifted your pace and started going faster. the sound of it echoed in the room and you felt the warmth building low in your belly again, tighter and tighter with every roll of your hips. 

“y-yeah, just like that,” he gasped, voice cracking, his eyes fluttering shut again. he pressed his head back, the veins on his neck on full display, and you watched the way his adam’s apple bobbed with every uneven breath. his hands slid to your hips, guiding you in sync with his shallow thrusts upward. the movement was messy, desperate, his body seeking more even as he tried to hold on.  

“gonna—” he bit out, breath hitching sharply. his eyes flew open, wild and unfocused as he stared at you like he wasn’t even sure what he was about to say. “gonna— oh, fuck—” 

“yeah?” you gasped, leaning forward, your hands braced against his chest, fingers curling into his skin. “feels good, hm?” 

he didn’t answer with words. he answered with his body, hips snapping up to meet yours, his fingers dragging down your back, hard enough to leave little streaks of heat in their wake. his breathing grew choppy, his body locking up beneath you as his grip on your waist turned bruising. 

“don’t stop,” he panted, his voice rough, broken. “don’t— oh, fuck.” 

you didn’t. not until you felt every last bit of him give in. his whole body went taut, muscles straining beneath you, his grip locking you in place as he let himself go. he groaned so deeply it sounded more like a growl, his breath hot against your neck as he pulled you down to him, holding you close.

“what’s the verdict, doctor?” you asked, tracing circles on his chest, still sat on top of him.  

“hm,” he hummed with his eyes still closed, lips tugging up at the corners as if he was fighting off a grin. “patient shows signs of extreme confidence. possible cause: being too good at driving me crazy.”  

you snorted, tilting your head to look at him. “is that your professional diagnosis?”  

“oh, absolutely,” he said, cracking one eye open to meet yours. “might need to run some more tests, though. you know, for accuracy.”  

“yeah?” you leaned in, your lips ghosting over his jaw. “what kind of tests, doctor?”  

his hands slid up your back, fingers splayed wide as they pressed you closer. “thorough ones,” he muttered, his voice rasping against your ear. “real hands-on approach.”  

“sounds serious,” you teased, letting your nails drag lightly down his chest. “hope your credentials check out.”  

“i’m overqualified, baby,” he breathed, tipping his head back against the pillow with a lazy grin. “let me show you.”

part two

He’s not the type to bring something up mid fuck session, but when you both finish, he takes the opportunity to address it.

“You seemed distant today,” he notes.

You release a deep sigh. “November is coming up, I’ve got three big tests and then finals in December, and I’m just… I’m feeling overwhelmed.”

The two of you had decided to keep a purely physical relationship with the idea of focusing on school. You both feel as if you’re too busy with your studies to put as much effort into dating as you’d like, so you’d come to an agreement to fuck whenever you’re both needing it, and keep other things as surface-level as possible.

Despite this arrangement, Jaehyun knows he would be the biggest asshole ever if he didn’t act as at least a friend to you. He has massive emotional walls that he keeps fortified, but there’s no harm in checking in with you. Besides, stress relief is a cornerstone of your relationship, and if his cock couldn’t dristract you from the issues in your life right now, maybe being an avid listener can. 

“What class?” he enquires.

“Fucking physics,” you groan, falling back against your bed and covering your face with a pillow.

There’s a reason Jaehyun had chosen Marine Biology instead of a more mathematics-based science when he got to university. Hell, the intro to physics class in first year had nearly killed him, so he understands where you’re coming from. 

“Well…” Jaehyun swallows thickly. “My frat is doing the whole ‘No Nut November’ bullshit, and we both know I don’t like to lose… but just because I can’t fuck you to destress you, doesn’t mean I can’t eat you out and make you cum as a reward for doing well in classes.”

“Huh?”

Jaehyun laughs, shaking his head. “I mean, what if we make a deal? For every ‘A’ you get on these three tests in November, I’ll eat you out till you’re begging me to stop. And in December, if you pass your physics final with a grade above eighty-six percent, I’ll fuck your brains out.”

You stare at him, the cogs of your mind working clearly behind your inquisitive eyes. “What if we agree on an above eighty average instead of eighty-six?”

“Nah, has to be eighty-six, what kind of floozy do you think I am?” Jaehyun jokes.

“Uh… the kind that just dicked me down without me needing an eighty-six average?”

Two:

It’s November, and while the idea of using Jaehyun as encouragement to study had seemed like a good plan to begin with, you find yourself distracted by the notion of him. Numbers and calculations give way to thoughts about the frat boy studying marine biology, and after struggling with it for an hour, you give yourself a breather to unpack everything.

You and Jaehyun have had an on-again off-again fuck buddy relationship for a little over a year now, and in that period, you’ve fucked only a handful times. With Jaehyun, things are strictly business. There’s not much foreplay, not much chit-chatting- it’s entirely about you both getting your rocks off as stress relief, then going your separate ways.

There’s a part of you that’s always thought extensive foreplay is less of a fuck buddy type of deal, and more of a budding relationship experience, which is why it’s generally been off-limits.

Having a man’s dick in you is one thing, having his mouth on your pussy while he’s neglected, looking up at you and doing his best to make you cum without any pleasure for himself- well, that’s something else entirely.

Neither you nor Jaehyun like to be selfish in this arrangement you have, it’s always a mutually beneficial interaction.

But… if you let him eat you out for doing well in physics… if he doesn’t get to cum or be touched at all… then that’s you being selfish, and the flip side is, he’s being selfless with you. 

Selfless has never been a word you connect to the idea of fuck buddies- and sure, some men love eating out women, some men get super turned on from that, but… you worry you’ll just be blue-ballsing the poor man. 

You never want to blue-ball Jaehyun. Despite your relationship being surface level - except for when he’s buried in your guts - you care about him. And you think it’s this care that has made you put up walls.

You’d agreed when you’d met that neither of you wanted a relationship. You wanted easy sex when it was convenient to you both. No strings attached, no emotions, no foreplay- although, that last caveat was never something verbally agreed to or discussed, moreso of an offshoot of the entire arrangement. 

In an odd way, letting Jaehyun eat you out while he gets nothing in return will be a new stepping stone for your dynamic, and you’re not quite sure where the path it creates might lead. 

Three:

You open your door with a grin, holding your most recent test in your hand. Before you can even tell Jaehyun the good news about your eighty-six percent - on the dot, mind you - score, he’s grabbing you and pressing his lips to yours.

A laugh tumbles out of you as you drag him into your apartment, kissing him back eagerly while the door shuts.

He feels so good, and your body immediately reacts to him, your nipples pushing up against the fabric of your thin night shirt. Jaehyun notices, because his hand comes up to cup your breast, his thumb brushing against the bud and making you moan.

When his lips move to your throat, you take the opportunity to speak. “You don’t even know what score I got on my test.”

“You wouldn’t have called me over if you didn’t get an eighty-six or above,” he notes, breath hot against your neck as he licks at your sweet spot.

“What if I brought you here to beg, to plead for that eighty average to be acceptable?” you tease.

“Begging is really not your style,” he insists, his hands moving down to your sleeping shorts to roughly tug them down.

“Looks like I won’t have to beg for this, though.”

“A deal is a deal,” Jaehyun tells you in the most earnest tone, and it makes you giggle.

“Let’s go to my bedroom.”

“No, I’m eating you out here.”

A moment later, he’s lifting you, setting you onto your kitchen island. The cold surface feels good against your hot skin, and it’s hard to breathe properly as Jaehyun pushes your thighs open.

“Lay down,” he instructs, “and let me give you your reward.”

Four:

“So… This time, I got a ninety,” you tell Jaehyun, holding your phone close to your chest so he can hear you clearly as you meander around your apartment.

“Well, look at you go.”

You can hear the smile in his voice, and it has your body tingling with excitement. “When can you come over?”

“Just finishing up a few things,” Jaehyun explains. “How about nineish?”

“But that’s a whole four hours away!” you groan.

“Somebody is eager.” 

You swallow the lump in your throat. “I was sitting in class and taking the test and all I could think about was your mouth.”

“Yeah?”

“Was getting so wet while doing fucking physics calculations- thinking about your tongue, and the way you hold me down when I cum. You’re a guy who just knows how to eat it, and it’s kind of making me go crazy.”

“Did I mention I’m at the gym right now?” Jaehyun asks, releasing a choked cough.

You grin, moving to sit on your couch. “Gonna sport a stiffy while doing bench presses, Jae?” 

“Pretty close to that, yeah.”

“All I’m saying is- you could be a great tutor, if you gave out sexual favours to all the cute girls who need help.”

Jaehyun laughs. “I feel like that would put me on a career trajectory that has nothing to do with marine biology, and I’m not spending all this money every year just to not use my degree.”

“True, true,” you sigh. “Anyways, I guess I’ll be waiting to see you at nineish.”

“Try not to touch yourself before I get there,” Jaehyun warns. “Or it defeats the purpose.” 

Five:

You’d been shocked to discover upon receiving your third test back, that you had somehow managed to score the highest in the entire class. And now, you’re even more shocked to find that Jaehyun has a few cunnilingus tricks up his sleeve that he hadn’t shown you in your first two strictly oral encounters.

His face is buried between your thighs, his lips wrapped around your clit while his fingers are pumping into your wet core. He angles his digits upward, crooking them in a way that has your whole body tingling-

He’d told you he wanted to make you squirt, you know, as a real celebration after your high marks, and at first, you hadn’t quite believed it would happen.

You’ve never squirted, and no man has ever taken the time to work that sort of thing out of you-

Yet here you are, feeling the first few dribbles splooshing out of your core and onto Jaehyun’s fingers.

It’s an intense pressure, but a completely welcomed one, and it makes your entire body tense with pleasure as he continued to finger fuck wetness out of you, his mouth never leaving your clit.

The sounds you’re making are obscene, but you can’t help yourself, can’t bring yourself to care about noise complaints or people hearing you-

You deserve this after scoring so well on your physics test, and you’ll be damned if you tell Jaehyun to stop or slow down.

“Fuck,” Jaehyun groans, pulling away from your clit to look down at you. “That’s it, baby, let it out.”

God, his dirty talk? It’s gotten better- or maybe you were both just not very verbal before, maybe when things were strictly business you were both holding back a lot of talents in the sexual scheme of things.

You release a whimper, more squirt gushing out of you and onto his hand.

“You look so fucking hot like this,” Jaehyun tells you, his mouth returning to your clit.

The past few times, losing yourself to him eating you out had been easy- but this time, you’re aware that finals are looming on the horizon. You’re not going to see Jaehyun for a couple of weeks, and after pleasure like this, you’re not sure you have the patience to wait that long.

You’re also keenly aware that this will be the third time Jaehyun leaves your house with blue-balls, and while he doesn’t make a big deal about it, you still feel bad.

This whole thing has definitely gotten more complicated, and you have the sneaking suspicion that when finals are over, and you finally get to fuck- they’re going to get a whole lot more confusing.

Six:

Jaehyun is about four hours into studying for his marine biology final when your ringtone sounds through his room.

He releases a groan, because sure, you’re a welcome distraction- but the mere thought of you is enough to give him a half chub and about two hours of distracted thoughts.

“Hey,” he sighs, answering his phone and putting it on speaker next to his text book.

“Hey,” you respond. “Studying?”

“Yup, you?”

“Trying to study,” you release a deep breath. “So… No Nut November has been over for a couple of days, how are you feeling?”

Jaehyun groans, putting his head in his hands. “Like I’m about to bust.”

“So come over?”

Jaehyun’s gaze turns to his phone. The temptation is overwhelming- and he can almost imagine how good your wet pussy is going to feel around his cock- how big his load is going to be when he buries it deep inside of you-

“We both know I can’t do that,” he sighs.

“Why not?”

“I told you, I’m not a floozy.” Jaehyun can’t help the chuckle that escapes him at his own words. He kind of enjoys this whole teasing game of not being the guy who puts out unless you do well on tests. He also kind of enjoys it when you release an irritated sigh.

“Be serious,” you insist.

“In all seriousness,” Jaehyun says. “We both know we can’t see each other until after our finals in three days.”

“But three days is so long away! That’s like seventy-two hours from now!” 

“You’re not going to be awake for all seventy-two of those hours though,” Jaehyun grins.

A grumble escapes you. “You know what I mean.”

Jaehyun can feel his cock beginning to rise in his pants, and he knows he has to cut this call short-

“Well, if you’re not going to come be my stress relief, maybe I’ll have to do it myself,” you tell him.

“Huh?”

“I’m rubbing my clit right now, and you wouldn’t believe how fucking wet I am for you. Been thinking about you for hours.”

“Fuck,” Jaehyun groans.

“It would be an awful shame if you didn’t come and fuck me stupid.” 

“I’ve got to go,” the marine biology major says, and it takes every ounce of his determination for the words to leave his lips.

“For a frat boy, you can be such a prude, Jaehyun.”

“I’m just focusing on something we both agreed a year ago. We both said school comes first. We both said grades above sex, and I’m just keeping us both in line with that intention.”

“I’ll try not to be too upset about this, because you’re right, and I hate that you’re right,” you sigh. “Good luck studying, I’ll see you in seventy-two hours.”

You hang up, and Jaehyun lets out a breath he hadn’t even known he’d been holding.

He looks down at his rock hard cock, which is pressing up against the fabric of his sweat pants, and with one last surge of determination, he goes back to his text book. 

Seven:

You finished your final two hours ago, and you’re now just laying on your couch. Your mind is pretty much blank, your body exhausted- and that’s when there’s a knock on your door.

You release a groan, forcing yourself to your feet.

While you know you’re going to see Jaehyun sometime soon, you definitely don’t expect him to be on your doorstep, and you’re at a loss for words as you stare at him.

“How bad was your final, baby, you’ve got a whole ‘thousand yard stare’ going on,” Jaehyun grins.

“You’re here,” you force out, so shocked that you still don’t know what to say.

“I’m here, and even though your final is done, it looks like you need stress relief.”

A tingle rushes through you, and you nod eagerly, pushing your door open wider so he can enter your apartment.

“How- how was your final?” you ask.

“Wasn’t so bad,” he shrugs, “And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying marine biology is easy, but it’s not physics.” 

“Jae?”

“Uh huh?”

“I’m so exhausted.” The words come out of your mouth and you break a little, your shoulders slumping. “I won’t have results for a couple of weeks and I don’t know if I did well, and I know you have this whole, ‘I’m not a floozy’ running joke thing-”

“Baby, I’m here to fuck you, don’t worry about getting an eighty-six percent, I’m taking care of you right now even if you failed. Do you think you failed?”

“I don’t think so-”

“And you were highest in your whole class on the last test, so let out a breath, shake off the anxiety, and for the first time in two months, let’s just enjoy fucking, okay?”

“Okay.”

You let Jaehyun grab your hand and he leads you to your bedroom. Once there, he begins to kiss you. He cradles you against his chest, and it’s the most passionate lip lock you’ve ever shared with the marine biology major.

His hands stroke your body, and it’s not some quick tearing off of clothes- no, this time, it’s clear he wants to go slow. 

You stroke his muscles, massaging his shoulders through the heavy fabric of his hoodie. The motion makes Jaehyun groan, and he removes the layer, tossing it onto the floor before wrapping you in his arms again.

One of his hands moves to cup your cheek, and he slowly guides you to your bed. He lays you down before getting on top of you. Your thighs wrap around his hips, and you groan at the first amount of pressure on your sleeping short covered core.

The kiss deepens, but it’s not the kind of erratic and eager lip lock, it’s calculated, passionate, and in a way- loving.

Jaehyun cares about you, of that, you are certain. He cares enough to make this experience an act of worship, of self care, to balance out the absolute shit show that was your physics final, and you really appreciate the attention to detail that he’s putting into this.

His hand slips under your shirt, toying with your breast.

You’d been planning on having a nap, so you’re only wearing a shirt and shorts, no underwear or bra, and the sensation of his fingers playing with your nipple is the most relief you’ve had in a week.

You whimper, breaking the kiss to wiggle under him, hoping for more pressure on your pussy.

Jaehyun’s lips move to your throat. “Proud of you,” he whispers. “I’m sure you did well today.”

You don’t even know what to say, all you can do is moan in response, your brain too fried from your exam to think of words.

“Gonna get you naked,” Jaehyun tells you next. “You good with that?”

“Yes, please.”

Jaehyun pulls away, adjusting so he can slip your shorts off. You work on your shirt, and in moments, you’re naked for him. Then, Jaehyun begins to strip, joining you in nudity before getting onto the bed again.

His lips find yours, and his hand slips between your thighs. His fingers tease your clit, making you whimper against his lips.

If this was Jaehyun from three months ago, his cock would already be inside of you, and you’re reminded again that a November full of foreplay has changed your relationship. He’s more caring with you now, and you kind of love it, especially after the day you’ve had.

His digits slip into your pussy, working you open, and his palm continues to put the right amount of pressure on your clit.

His mouth moves to your throat, giving you space to moan and fill the room with sounds of pleasure.

He begins to do the motion he did when he made you squirt, and soon, that pressure in your abdomen is reaching a breaking point. You can feel the small gush as it wets your inner thighs, pleasure consuming you with the release.

Jaehyun descends to your breasts, sucking on your nipple gently before continuing to kiss down- he gets all the way to your pussy, and he pulls out his fingers in favour of licking your slit.

You whimper desperately as he takes position between your thighs, hands massaging the muscles there and keeping you pinned as he eats you out.

When you look down, you notice his eyes are closed. He’s fully immersed in the act of pleasuring you, and it makes everything feel better.

You give in to the sensation, mind going blank, body going numb except for the feeling of intense pressure that’s beginning to build in the pit of your stomach.

His lips suction around your clit, tongue flicking the sensitive bud, and your own hips begin to wiggle. You’re grinding down against his face, breathing hard as your orgasm becomes closer and closer-

There’s a difference between squirting and a clit orgasm, and while squirting had felt really good, this is about to feel even better.

You try not to put pressure on yourself, and that’s something you’ve learned this past month with Jaehyun.

He could stay between your thighs for half an hour and not get upset that you haven’t cum yet- however, you know it won’t take that long.

You give in to the feelings in your body, focusing on the pleasure as it builds and builds-

“Jae,” you whimper. “I’m close!”

He growls against your clit, sucking even harder, and that’s when you explode.

You release a gasp, the tension in your abdomen snapping as your clit begins to throb, sending delicious pleasure surging through your entire form.

Your thighs threaten to close around Jaehyun’s head but he holds you steady, working you through your orgasm.

The feeling of his tongue on your core isn’t one you ever want to give up, and Jaehyun’s the type of man who doesn’t like to lose- no, he continues to eat you out until you’re finished, until you’re pushing at his head, begging for his cock.

“Please, Jae,” you whimper. “I need you so bad.”

“I need you too, baby,” he nods, swallowing thickly as he adjusts on the bed, getting between your thighs again.

He looks down at you as he positions the head of his cock against your pussy. 

There’s a wordless agreement between the two of you as you stare into each other’s eyes, and Jaehyun slowly pushes into you.

You gasp loudly at the stretch, grabbing at his shoulders to steady yourself.

Nothing but fingers have been inside of you for a month, and the stretch is perfect as Jaehyun’s large cock fills up your core.

“Good?” Jaehyun asks with a grin.

“So good!”

His lips find your throat, and he sucks on your sweet spot, making you grip his shoulders even tighter.

Nothing has ever felt this intimate. You’re clinging to Jaehyun like a life line, your hearts trying to push through your pressed ribcages to meet, as if they were always meant to be one.

There are a thousand emotions bubbling up inside of you, but none of them can be vocalized, all you can do is pant in his ear as he lavishes on you, taking away all your stress. 

He begins to fuck you, starting slow as your body adjusts. You can hear him groaning as he licks your sweet spot, the muscles of his shoulders tensing with effort as he holds himself over you.

You get the sneaking suspicion that he’s very much holding back- that this slow build up is torture for the man who hasn’t gotten his cock wet in over a month.

“Let go, Jae,” you whisper, stroking his hair. “Fuck me stupid, you promised you would.”

Jaehyun releases a groan, pulling away from your throat to look down at you. “After all of this, we need to talk.”

“Huh?” your heart sinks in your chest.

“It’s nothing bad,” he’s quick to assure you, obviously having read your scared expression. “Just, fuck- look, I’ve been thinking- this month has proven we can get good marks and also be fucking, be more than fucking- and I just- I was thinking maybe we could try actually dating, if you wanted.” 

“Jae-” your voice cracks.

“You don’t have to answer now-”

“Let’s do it,” you nod. “I want to try that with you.”

“Thank god.” You can practically see the relief in the way he exhales, and then he presses his lips to yours, beginning to fuck you even harder.

You wrap your arms tight around his shoulders, kissing him deeply as he rails you. Your whole bed is shaking with each powerful thrust, and the pleasure of his cock inside of you mixes with the emotional ecstasy that had been triggered by the notion of dating.

You seriously feel like you’re on cloud nine, and it’s such a massive contrast to how you’d felt even an hour ago.

This man can change your entire mood, and you kind of love that. All your stress has melted away, because of his targeted effort to lift you back onto your feet after such a devastating final exam. 

He cares about you, you can feel it in the way his hips move, the way his lips caress your own. You can even hear it in his deep groans, all his inhibitions going out the window as he gives himself to you completely.

There’s also something to be said about fucking missionary.

When you’d first had sex, you’d done it doggy, not wanting to be staring at each other, not wanting to feel too emotionally connected as you looked into each other’s eyes-

So much has changed in the best possible way, the two of you pressed chest to chest, pressed so tight it’s as if you want to consume each other.

You’re connected, like puzzle pieces, and each thrust has Jaehyun hitting a spot deep inside of you that makes you feel so completely whole.

You’re both gasping into your kisses now, the tension rising by the second-

“Fuck, I haven’t cum in so long-” Jaehyun groans, breaking the kiss to press his forehead against yours.

“Then fill me up, Jae,” you whimper, stroking his hair and strong shoulders. “Give me all of it.”

“Fuck.”  

“I want this,” you tell him. “I want you so bad.”

He lets out a shuddery breath, and then he kisses you, grunting deeply- the last three thrusts are powerful yet erratic, and his entire body shivers as he falls over the edge. You can feel him filling you up, shooting rope upon rope of cum deep into your core.

Your legs wrap tightly around his hips, keeping him buried to the hilt inside of you, and you press kisses along his face, stroking his hair.

His orgasm lasts five or so seconds, and you can tell from the tension in his muscles that it’s an intense one. He all but slumps over you when he finishes, breathing hard against your skin as he buries his face by your throat.

“Fuck.”

“You can say that again,” you laugh. 

Usually, when Jaehyun and you finish up having sex, he immediately goes home and you go to shower, but today, you hold him close, keeping him wrapped in your embrace.

Neither of you say anything as you wait for your hearts to slow down, and you continue to press little kisses along his skin.

“How about we shower then cuddle and watch a movie?” you ask.

“Baby,” Jaehyun releases a small chuckle, “I would love that more than anything.”

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🔮 preview. “This is how you inspired me to study when we first started dating,” you point out. “Encourage yourself with pussy. Get some good sucking now, fuck me stupid, and then, use that as fuel to get your studying done.”

cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, oral, blow job, hand job, masturbation, use of toy/vibrator, multiple reader orgasms, sucking Jae off while he studies, multiple sex positions, dirty talk, praise, rough sex,  etc…   I petnames. (hers) baby.

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.5k I teaser wc. 110

🌙 starring. Jaehyun x afab!Reader

bonus

You can tell that Jaehyun is struggling. His end of the year final is coming up, and he’s as anxious as you’ve ever seen him. 

You’ve done your best to support him with studying, but after everything you’ve learned at the start of your relationship last year, you think you might just know the best way to help him focus.

“Jae?” you call, looking at your boyfriend as he studies at the table by your bed. “How’s it coming along?”

He releases a deep sigh. “Not great.”

You approach him, resting against the table. “Anything I can do to help?”

“Probably not,” he groans.

“Are you sure about that?”

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but now as you stood in front of your vanity mirror, finishing up your skincare, towel discarded, leaving your naked body out in the open, your boyfriend’s hands find its way around your waist, hugging you from behind as he nestled into your neck, “baby,”

you push away the smirk that was begging to appear on your face, you knew mark couldn’t last this long but you weren’t about to give into him that easily, “hmm?,” you feign innocence, pretending you don’t feel the hard-on he was currently sporting, hidden under the towel around his waist.

“i’m sorry baby,” he softly mumbles, lips against your neck. his finger starts to outline the curve of your spine down to your ass, a trail of goosebumps following the touch of his skin, “i tried,” he groans, squeezing your ass, “i just can’t help myself,” his hand make its way around, cupping your pussy, legs instinctively parting open as his finger slides down your wet folds, teasing your hole before gently pushing you down your vanity.

you don’t fight it, elbows coming in contact with the table as you watched the scene unfold in your mirror, letting him know that he could use you as much as he wanted, “need you so bad,” he breathily groans, finally discarding his towel, tossing it to the side, and positioning his cock at your entrance.

he slides in painfully slowly, relishing in your tight walls, hands gripped on either side of your hips as his eyes roll back, lips parted slightly, a sigh of pleasure at the feeling of your warm cunt all around his cock, “love being inside you,” he praises, sliding all the way back out, until only his tip was at the entrance before harshly pounding back into you, making your back arch at the sudden change in force, a cry of his name slipping past your lips. he loves it. the way you react to him.

he starts rocking his hips, setting a slow pace, making you feel every vein in his cock twitch as he pushes in deeper and deeper, each time hitting that spot that makes you feel lightweight, head in the clouds, “do that thing that you do, baby please,” he whines desperately, pussy immediately clenching around him making his movements stutter as he tried to stay in control of his own body.

mark knew he wasn’t going to last long and he wasn’t really planning to — not with the way you kept on squeezing around him, the way your warm pussy sucks him in…but that wasn't a problem, he’ll make it up to you right after, with his tongue, his fingers, with whatever you needed.

but right now, he’s caught up in the high you’re giving him. right now, the pleasure is pooling in his stomach begging to be released, warmth taking over his entire body, traveling up to his head, as he continues to thrust in and out of your hole.

sweat forms around his temples, eyebrows furrowing, as he focuses on the sound of your moans, skin slapping together, juices squelching, “i’m c-coming, baby,” he groans exasperatedly and not a second later he shoots his load into you, cock still deep into your pussy, painting your walls white.

he takes a minute or two to get back to the ground, enjoying the feeling of ecstasy coursing through him, breathing heavily on top of your body. the position wasn’t comfortable at all, trapped between your boyfriend’s weight and the table below you but you love it. love the way he’s currently lost inside you.

Johnny parks the car and you’re quick to jump out, running towards Jaehyun, who turns, a smile lighting up his face, eyes scrunching with delight at the sight of you.

The two of you haven’t seen each other in a month. He’d gone on vacation with his family to New York, and you’ve missed his hugs.

You’d started dating Johnny right before Jaehyun left, and in the month that your best friend has been away, you and Johnny have become closer and closer.

Johnny’s met a few of your other friends - Ten and Mark - but he hasn’t met Jaehyun yet, and you’re excited to see if they get along. After all, you can’t have a boyfriend who doesn’t get along with Jaehyun.

You’ve had boyfriends before who couldn’t handle the close relationship you have with Jaehyun, and this unfortunate fact is one of the reasons you’ve kept Jaehyun more of a secret this time around. You hope Johnny likes you too much to let Jaehyun’s looks come between the two of you as they have in the past.

Some men just aren't strong enough to let their girlfriends be best friends with a guy who looks like a model, but you push that thought to the side.

Jaehyun scoops you up in his arms, lifting you off the ground and twirling you. He’s warm, and he smells like home, a smell you’ve missed this past month.

Johnny gets out of his car hesitantly, approaching you and Jaehyun. The two of you are a flurry of questions and answers, you’re pulling at Jaehyun’s hair, inspecting the colour, and Jaehyun is commenting on the cute new shirt you’re wearing.

It takes you a moment to notice Johnny, in the flurry of addressing Jaehyun, you’d almost forgotten about the new important man in your life. However, Johnny clearly doesn’t mind and smiles broadly when you immediately pull him to your side, wrapping your arms around him. “And this is Johnny!” you introduce. “Johnny, this is Jaehyun, my best friend.”

Jaehyun’s grin has dropped. His gaze turning harsh, judgmental, as he takes in Johnny’s form. “He’s tall,” Jaehyun notes. “You never told me he was tall.”

Jaehyun has always enjoyed being larger than the boys you bring around. Even though Jaehyun is an inch or two shorter than Johnny, his gaze is enough to intimidate anyone, even the Chicago native you’re currently clinging to.

“Be nice, Jaejae,” you scold, gently prodding Jaehyun’s shin with the toe of your shoe as you lace your fingers with Johnny’s.

“How long have you two been friends?” Johnny asks, evidently searching for a conversation starter. Johnny’s not normally an awkward guy, but this situation is tense, and you get the distinct feeling that he wants to resolve it.

“Since we were kids,” Jaehyun answers, his words short, his expression disinterested.

“We’ve had classes together since kindergarten,” you confirm. “Even though Jaehyun’s a business major, we coordinated electives to have classes together while in uni too.”

“Oh wow,” Johnny nods, and you ca see that his smile is somewhat forced.

Your phone dings and you look down. “Ten and Mark just left their place, we should go now and meet them at the club,” you announce, turning to beam up at Johnny, pressing a delicate kiss to his cheek. “Thanks again for offering to pick Jae up.” 

Johnny had agreed to pick up your best friend to go clubbing and celebrate their return to town, he hadn’t known your best friend was Jaehyun.

The three of you head back to Johnny’s car, you and Jaehyun chatting while Johnny listens. In Johnny’s car, Jaehyun sits in the middle of the back seat so he can lean forward and continue talking with you. You attempt to let Johnny into the conversation, but with so much history with Jaehyun, it’s clear that a lot is lost on the man driving.

Johnny holds your hand most of the ride, thumb brushing your skin pleasantly, as if to tell you ‘It’s okay, I’m going to make this work.’

Soon, you arrive at the bar, and once you’re there it’s easy enough to find Ten and Mark. Ten has a table that pretty much has his name etched into it, and that’s made possible by the fact that he’s close friends with a bunch of the Chinese frat boys who work here.

Johnny and Jaehyun quickly offer to go get drinks, and the two of them disappear into the crowd, leaving you with Mark and Ten who are eager to gossip.

Sure, Mark and Ten have met Johnny a few times, but this is the first time he’s meeting Jaehyun... and that’s a big deal, something everyone understands.

“Jaehyun doesn’t seem to like Johnny,” Ten states bluntly, leaning in to talk to you.

“They just met, Jaehyun never likes any of my boyfriends.”

“So he’s your boyfriend now?” Ten smirks, kicking Mark under the table to encourage the Canadian to show some enthusiasm at this development.

“No,” you immediately wave your hand, “not officially, but you know what I mean. Jaehyun hates guys I go on dates with.”

“I wonder why.” Ten sips his drink and you roll your eyes at him.

“Don’t start with the whole ‘Jaehyun is in love with you’ thing,” you warn him.

“I’m just saying, it’s September, school is starting, summer is ending, it’s just like the time when-” Mark shoves Ten with his shoulder, drawing your attention to Johnny and Jaehyun who are back with drinks.

“Beer!” Johnny announces, setting a cup down in front of Ten. He doesn’t seem to have heard the end of Ten’s comment, but Jaehyun on the other hand... his gaze is hard for a moment, jaw clenching. Then, he seems to snap out of it, a smile once more appearing on his lips.

Jaehyun playfully grabs your arm and pulls you from the booth so he can slide in, dragging you after him. Johnny gets in on your other side and just like that, you’re sandwiched between two massive, gorgeous men.

“Did we miss anything?” Johnny asks, looking at you and your friends.

Ten dives into the bar gossip, leaning in and pointing out different bar tenders who are sleeping with certain waitresses and other employees. You drown out the conversation quickly, as you’ve heard these details way too many times before. Instead, you focus on the men beside you.

Jaehyun’s thigh is next to yours, his hand on your knee under the table, which isn’t too out of the ordinary, he’s always been a touchy best friend.

Johnny has an arm wrapped around you, keeping you tucked close to his side as he begins to talk with Ten about their majors. You’re happy that Ten seems to like Johnny more and more every time they meet, and Mark is laughing at everything the elder man says.

The only friend staying quiet is Jaehyun, who sits next to you with a bored-looking expression on his face. 

He sips his beer.

Your mind wanders back to what Ten had said.

The season, the aesthetic of summer ending and school beginning.

You’d been in a very different position a year ago.

You’re suddenly very aware of Jaehyun next to you. You can feel your skin heating up, can feel the coil of anxiety in your tummy. “Johnny?” you grab his attention and the tall man dips his head to look down at you, waiting for you to say something. “Come dance with me?”

“You sure you want to dance right now?” he asks, looking at your nearly untouched drink.

“Yes, you don’t want to dance with me?” you frown.

“I do,” Johnny assures you, a warm smile on his face, “but Ten was just saying-”

“I’ll go with you,” comes Jaehyun’s smooth, steady voice.

“Jaehyun can go with you-” Johnny agrees and your heart swells at his innocence, his complete lack of jealousy towards Jaehyun, who, you’re beginning to realize, may provide a legitimate threat that your previous lovers were picking up on.

“No. I want you,” you tell Johnny sternly, not meaning for it to come out as harsh as it does. You know you’re leaving Jaehyun dejected as you slip into the crowd with Johnny, but you can’t look back.

Jaehyun watches you leave, holding onto your tall boy toy like a lifeline as you wade into the people on the dance floor. Then, when you’re out of sight, Jaehyun turns his angry gaze to Ten, “Stop trying to wingman me with her.”

Mark giggles, watching the two stubborn men size each other up.

“You need to tell her how you feel,” Ten says.

“No, I don’t.” Jaehyun glares back.

“Do you think she told Johnny about it?” Mark asks quietly.

“It.” Ten laughs, “Mark are you a kid? Just say what happened, ask the question properly.” He looks to Jaehyun. “Do you think she told Johnny about the time she graciously let you eat her out at the end of the summer, last year?”

“I don’t think she even told Johnny I was a dude.” Jaehyun falls back against the booth.

Mark and Ten both look at each other and grimace. “That’s not good.”

“I know,” Jaehyun groans.

“She really likes Johnny,” Ten says almost thoughtfully.

Jaehyun looks out at the crowd, it’s easy enough to find Johnny because he’s taller than the other people around. Johnny’s head is dipped down, his lips pressed against yours, one hand cupping your cheek.

Something inside Jaehyun ignites and his hands clench at his sides. He finishes his drink, then stands up, entering the crowd. He finds the prettiest girl he can, the prettiest girl other than you, and within ten minutes he has her pressed against the door in the bathroom, his hand between her legs.

It’s two AM when Jaehyun looks at his phone next. He’s standing on his terrace, the warm night air ruffling his hair. Inside his room, a gorgeous brunette is asleep in a tangle of sheets. Jaehyun’s eyes scan the text message you’d sent an hour ago, and he feels a twinge of guilt at having missed it.

Baby (1:02AM) : Let me know you made it home safe!

Jaehyun takes a deep breath, quickly typing back.

Your phone screen lights up the room, making you open your eyes from the restless half-slumber you’d been trying to use as a distraction.

Behind you, Johnny is asleep, one of his arms thrown over your torso.

You slide from bed slowly, moving so you can go stand outside on Johnny’s terrace. It’s a beautiful night and the moon looks gorgeous in the sky as you assess your phone.

JaeJae (2:06AM) : Got home safe, hope you did too

JaeJae (2:08AM) : Goodnight, sleep well princess : )

You call him before you can stop yourself, and he answers immediately, voice hushed.

“Hey,” you say.

“Hi. What are you doing still awake?” he asks softly.

“Couldn’t sleep without knowing you’d gotten home, you know?” You shrug, pulling Johnny’s hoodie tighter around your body. Three stories below, a cop car drives by, the siren cutting through the summer night air.

You hear your best friend smile on his end of the phone. “You outside?”

“Yeah, you?”

“Uh-huh.” A brief quiet, then, “the moon is nice.”

Your gaze lifts. “It is…” You open your mouth to say something else when you hear a female voice call out “Jae” in a whiney tone that has your skin turning cold.

“Fuck, I have to go.”

Your heart drops in your chest, but you try to sound positive when you say, “Yeah, it’s okay, you should sleep, I’ll see you soon?”

“We’ll do movie night tomorrow,” he suggests. “I’ll text you.”

“Okay, goodnight.”

“Night princess.” He hangs up and you let out a deep breath.

You stay outside for a few minutes longer, looking at the sky. When you head inside, returning under the covers, Johnny pulls you close, burying his face in your neck. “Where were you?” he asks.

“Outside,” you answer, breathing in as Johnny’s body warms you up, his lips pressing soft kisses to your skin. “Go back to sleep,” you whisper softly, turning in Johnny’s arms so you can run your fingers through his hair, looking at his beautiful face.

Johnny gives you a gentle, lazy smile, pouting out his lips for one last kiss before he adjusts against his pillow. Within moments he’s asleep again.

You stay awake for a while, thinking about the events of tonight. Jaehyun had disappeared when you’d come back from the dance floor. What was supposed to be a get-together for Jaehyun and Johnny to get comfortable with each other, had turned into something else. But part of you can’t blame Jaehyun for slipping away, not after you’d been so clear about rejecting his offer of dancing with you, insisting that Johnny be the one to join you amongst the waves of people. 

With another huff, you close your eyes, falling asleep a short while later.

When you dream, you dream of dark, handsome eyes. The eyes are not attached to a body, instead, they float in a cloud of colors, some dark, some light. You feel warm, and even in your sleep, you can feel yourself smiling.

“Jae, why are you always single?” you had asked, cuddled close to your best friend.

Jaehyun laughed. “Cuz I’m ugly,” he responded simply, although you both knew this to be the opposite of the truth.

You smacked your best friend lightly, beaming up at him. “Don’t say that about yourself.” You paused, examining his face. “For real. Don’t you ever want to have a girlfriend?”

He’d had one in sixth grade for a week, but that had been the only time in his life he’d ever had an official ‘girlfriend’. You were heading into another year of university, and the summer had been full of fun activities. You’d both been single, and this had given you the freedom to spend every waking moment together, driving around, going to amusement parks, scouring old record shops-

Jaehyun shrugged. “Don’t need one.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “I know you can get laid whenever you want Jae, but I mean don’t you want the other stuff? Someone to come home to, someone to give pet names to, and love, and take home to meet your parents-”

As you listed things, Jaehyun wondered if you even realized that everything you mentioned were things he already had... with you.

He watched your beautiful face with a smile, and finally, he shrugged again. “I just don’t like commitment.” It was true, you were the only thing in his life he’d ever been committed to, the only thing he needed. Anything else, he was ready to drop at a moment’s notice, and he enjoyed living that way.

You frowned at his words. “Is it really that easy for you to just turn feelings off? To sleep with people and just... not care about them afterward?”

“I don’t know if it’s like that.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I care sometimes, I just don’t catch feels, there’s a difference. Sex can be just sex. If two people are horny, why not have some fun, you know?”

He’d watched the way you’d licked your lips at his words, and the sight turned him on more than he’d ever be able to tell you.

“So... if I was horny, and I asked you for sex, we could do that and it wouldn’t change our friendship at all?” you asked, clearly scared to meet his gaze. He could sense your fear of rejection, and it was a fear he wanted to quickly squash.

“Of course,” Jaehyun answered fluidly, his tone turning teasing. “Why, are you horny?” 

“It's just, people have always said you have amazing tongue game, and well-”

“You want to know if it’s true because most guys you’ve slept with have sucked at oral.” Jaehyun finished your sentence for you, something he’d been doing since you were kids.

Mimicking his earlier action, you shrugged, and that was all it took to give Jaehyun permission. His fingers went under your chin, forcing you to look up at him, and then he kissed you for the first time.

He’d wondered for years what kissing you would be like, but he’d never dared to try, to worried about how it would affect your friendship. But you’d just confirmed that nothing would have to change, there wouldn’t be any messy feelings with this. He could kiss you now, and still have you in his life tomorrow.

You leaned into the kiss, and Jaehyun could sense that you felt you had something to prove- to prove to him that you were just as good as any of the sorority girls or Instagram models he’d fucked.

He pulled you onto his lap, hands anchoring your waist, forcing you to grind down against him. He could feel his cock throbbing for you already, if only you knew how crazy you make him. A small whine escaped your lips and Jaehyun smirked, eating it up. “Ready to see what all the fuss is about?”

The music is loud, but then again, Jaehyun’s always had the best speakers to complement his extensive record collection. You’re dancing in his kitchen, waiting for the popcorn to pop in the microwave.

Your hips are moving to the beat of the song, and you don’t realize that Jaehyun’s eyes are glued to you.

Ten was right about summer feelings, and Jaehyun’s chest is empty while he watches you.

Life with you has always been easy. So easy that he’s somehow taken it for granted.

Jaehyun wants to tell you everything. Wants to tell you that he had lied when he said he could control whether or not he caught feelings. Wants to tell you that his heart has been yours since that day you were five and scraped your knee on the playground, he’d been assigned to take you to the nurse and had held your hand the whole way there, even kissed your bandaged knee, announcing ‘all better’ to the world.

He wants to tell you what he should have told you the moment he’d made you cum on his tongue last August, that he loves you. That he wants you to be his.

But Jaehyun is terrified of you. Terrified that you only see him as a friend, that the sex proposition you’d given him nearly a year ago had been purely physical.

He thought he could live a life with you as his half-girlfriend, fulfilling all the girlfriend duties minus the sex, which he could get at any time from any girl he wanted. But now Jaehyun knows that this idea was stupid, because seeing you with guys- seeing you with Johnny, has made him realize he could lose you.

Jaehyun had originally invited you to go on vacation with his family for a month, but you’d chosen to stay because you’d already planned a weekend getaway with Johnny and the dates had clashed. Jaehyun had even offered to fly you to meet his family a week late, but you’d declined.

The whole month he’d been gone he’d been missing you, hoping he could come back and things would return to normal, only to return and find you clinging to Johnny and happier than ever.

Jaehyun’s heart clenches in his chest.

He’s been called selfish before, but never when it comes to you.

Looking at you dance in the kitchen, he wants to be selfish for the first time.

As the microwave dings, signaling your food is done, you turn to excitedly tell Jaehyun, only to be met with a solid body standing so close you nearly smack into his chest.

Jaehyun grabs your face with both his hands, and before you can say anything, he presses his lips to yours.

He tastes just like he did a year ago, and the emotions all come flooding back. The confusion, the heartache- but despite this, the happy feelings are there too. The love that you’ve tried so hard to bury is unearthed, and your mind goes blank. You lean into the kiss-

Your phone rings and you nearly jump out of Jaehyun’s grasp, recognizing Johnny’s special ringtone that the two of you had chosen one day while on a coffee date. American Boy by Estelle, a song Johnny ‘identifies with’.

Until now, the song has always made you happy.

But standing in Jaehyun’s kitchen, with both of you staring at your phone, instead of happiness, the emotion you feel is guilt.

You begin to reach for your phone but Jaehyun grabs your hand instead, urging you to look at him. “Don’t answer it,” he says, voice cracking a little. His eyes are serious and they search yours for a sign, for something to tell him how you’re feeling.

“Jae-”

You know he loves the nickname you have for him, and part of you regrets it the moment it leaves you, because you’re sure that it will give him hope. You close your mouth, not sure where to look, so you look at the ground.

“Tell me you love me,” His voice is soft, as soft as you’ve ever heard it.

“I do love you,” you sigh.

His hand is still holding yours, and he gives it a small squeeze. “Tell me you love me more than him.”

Your heart clenches in your chest and you can feel your skin heating up. You’re confused and guilty, and you feel as if he’s pressuring you, which is not a good combination.

Jaehyun’s fingers go under your chin, forcing you to look up at his beautiful dark eyes. He looks so perfect, and it’s always taken your breath away, but now, with an uncharacteristically vulnerable expression on his face, he’s ethereal.

“Tell me you’ll be mine,” Jaehyun whispers, “not his.”

Those last two words - not his - spark something inside of you and you tear your hand from Jaehyun’s grasp.

“I can’t believe you,” you spit, anger fuelling into your soul. “You always get like this, you’re so competitive. It feels like every time I’m with a guy, you get so upset that I’m giving my attention to someone else. You’ve had years, Jae. Years to tell me you love me and-” You choke a little on your words and laugh. “You know the funny part? You haven’t even said it. You’ve been trying to get me to tell you that I love you- not even just that, you want me to tell you I love you more than Johnny!”

“You know I love you.” Jaehyun looks crushed, a pained expression on his face, and you’re aware that you’ve never yelled at him like this.

“I was in love with you for years, Jae!” You feel tears begin to spill from your eyes and you will them to disappear. “But you never wanted commitment! You never wanted me!”

“I did! I do!” he insists. “I just never realized-”

“Never realized,” you scoff, repeating his words back to him. “You’re just mad Johnny’s getting my attention. How dare you! How dare you see how happy Johnny makes me and try to mess that up after you’ve had years to say something!” You grab your phone and go to the door, leaving your purse and your shoes, too eager to escape to care. You simply leave, and Jaehyun doesn’t follow.

It isn't until he sits down on the couch minutes later that he realizes something. “I was in love with you for years, Jae!” you’d said. Was. As in, past tense. 

As in, no longer.

Jaehyun pulls a pillow to his chest, the one you always cuddle with when you watch movies. It still smells like you. Jaehyun buries his face in your scent, and for the first time in a long time, he allows himself to cry.

Johnny’s chest is warm and secure. His arms hold you tightly as you cry, one of his hands petting the back of your head gently as you get rid of all the negativity balled up inside of you with tears that seem to last forever.

When you finally stop crying, Johnny sets you down on the couch, wrapping you in blankets and getting you tissues. He doesn’t ask what’s wrong, he’s always very good at knowing the right time to be quiet and give you space. You’re sure he knows you’ll tell him what’s wrong when you’re able to.

As you begin to calm down, Johnny makes you your favorite tea, bringing it to you in a mug with your first initial on it, he’s bought it for his apartment two weeks into dating to show you that you always have a place, and a cup, in his apartment.

Your phone rings and Johnny looks at it. “It’s Mark,” he tells you. “Should I answer?”

You shake your head and Johnny sets your phone down.

A few seconds later it rings again. “It’s Ten,” Johnny says softly.

“Just turn it off,” you frown, and Johnny does as he’s told, watching you sip your tea.

“Can I get you anything else, baby?” he asks.

You shake your head, staying quiet.

“Baby, if you don’t tell me what happened soon, I’m going to have to go out and start fighting people in the street. Whoever made my girlfriend cry is gonna-”

“Girlfriend?” You perk up a little and Johnny laughs.

He reaches out and pinches your chin lightly. “Knew that would make you smile,” he beams, “and yeah, I mean... unless you don’t want to be, unless it’s too soon.”

You set your tea down and nearly tackle Johnny onto the couch, making him laugh into the kiss that you eagerly press to his lips. 

“Wow, baby, if I knew it was this easy to make you happy I would have asked you to be my girlfriend ages ago,” Johnny says when you finally stop kissing him. 

You laugh at the notion. “No, ages ago would have been too soon.”

You’re laying on top of him on the couch, your legs on either side of his waist. You look down at his beautiful face and infectious smile. He’s so sweet, so soft, so exactly what you need. His hands rub your back soothingly and you know you love him.

You’d loved him since date number two, when he’d seen a little girl crying at the bottom of a tree and proceeded to climb the tree to rescue a kitten, who had clung to him so tight it had cut his arm, but Johnny hadn’t minded. The little girl’s mother had offered to pay Johnny for his heroic deed but he’d objected, instead accepting a pretty flower the little girl had offered, which he had then given to you.

Johnny is perfect... so why do you still feel confused and conflicted about Jaehyun?

“Something happened with Jaehyun,” you say, looking into Johnny’s eyes as he strokes your face.

“Uh oh, you’re calling him by his full name, he must have really messed up.” Johnny is always so good at remembering everything you tell him, good at picking up on your verbal cues, sometimes even before you do. “What happened?” His thumb brushes under your eye soothingly, ready to wipe away any tear that escapes.

“He... it was very weird,” you confess. “I think he tried to tell me he loved me, but he did it in a really weird way, and it made me really upset.”

“When you say ‘he tried to tell me he loved me’ you mean... like, love as in, I’m in love with you. Not just friend love?” Johnny clarifies.

“I think so. He tried to make me tell him I love him more than I love you.”

“Aw, baby, you love me?” Johnny’s expression softens and despite the negative emotions you’re feeling, you still beam at him.

“Yeah, and I’m your girlfriend now, so I’m allowed to say it,” you tease, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips.

“I love you too, baby.” He kisses you back, only breaking the kiss to let you continue your story. “Then what happened?”

“He wanted me to dump you,” you tell him, quickly continuing with, “and that’s crazy, of course. Jaehyun’s always like this. Whenever I’m seeing a guy, he gets so territorial.”

“You two have been friends for a long time,” Johnny points out.

“Aren’t you mad he tried to break us up?” you ask, shocked at your boyfriend's calm demeanor.

Johnny shakes his head. “I understand where he’s coming from. I’m not sure you being taken would have stopped me from trying to get you to be mine either.”

You think about his words. “I’m just-” You take a deep breath, not sure how to even say how you’re feeling.

Luckily, you don’t have to. Johnny can read you, and somehow he takes your emotions and puts them into words for you. “You’re confused because this is the first time he’s told you about his feelings and you’ve been in love with him before, but you’re with me now, so it’s not easy to know what to do with the feelings this must have brought up.”

You smile sadly at Johnny. “How do you know me so well?”

“I just do.” He kisses your nose. “I can see why you’d be conflicted about that.”

“You can?”

“Of course.”

“I’m sorry, I know this puts you in a weird position-”

“it doesn’t,” Johnny assures you. “You have feelings for Jaehyun that have been there a long time, that doesn’t make your feelings for me any less real, you know?”

“Johnny, you’re perfect.”

“So I’ve been told,” he laughs. “I’m glad you talked to me about this, communication is really important.”

“I’m glad too, but I have to tell you something else... He kissed me, just for a moment, and it was so shocking-”

“Did you kiss him back?” This is the first time Johnny frowns.

“I don’t think so, it happened so fast and then my phone rang. But I yelled at him and left right after, then you came and picked me up, and now here we are,” you explain.

Johnny is quiet for a moment, then he looks over at your phone. “So this is why Ten and Mark won’t stop calling.”

“It’s fine, I can talk to them tomorrow,” you brush it off.

“I think you should call them back,” Johnny says. “Your friends are important, and this is something they know more about than I do. It might help for you to talk to them. You can go on the balcony if you want, I’ll go to my room and work on some stuff with headphones to give you privacy.”

“Are you sure?” you ask.

“Yeah, and when you’re done, come to bed and we’ll cuddle and watch a Disney movie or something to make you feel better okay?”

“Johnny?”

“Yeah, princess?”

“I do really love you.”

“And I really love you too.” Johnny beams at you, then he grabs your phone, handing it to you. “Now go call your friends and take however long you need to clear your head and sort this out, I’ll be here for you when you’re done.”

You press one more kiss to his soft lips before getting up and going to the terrace. You call Ten first, but he’s quick to add Mark to the line, and soon, you’re telling them everything that happened.

“I can’t believe Jae finally manned up and told you,” Mark says when your story is done.

“I can’t believe he tried to make you tell him you love him more than Johnny,” Ten muses. “That dude is fucked in the head sometimes.”

You let out a deep sigh, not wanting to verbally agree with the statement, but what Ten has said is true. Jaehyun has never been great with handling emotions, and tonight’s actions are just one reflection of that fact.

“So what now?” Mark asks. “I mean- Jae was messaging me as soon as you left, which is why we called, but I told him to just give you space.”

You take a deep breath, looking out at the streets below. “Space is a good idea.”

“I mean… you’re with Johnny now, officially, and you just said you love each other,” Ten points out. “Looks like Jae seriously missed the boat.”

“I’m still shocked Johnny’s not mad,” Mark chuckles anxiously. 

“Yeah, he’s taking this really well, all things considered,” Ten agrees. “Although… you didn’t tell him about the time Jaehyun ate you out.”

“I was going to-” you admit. “But it was already so much on his plate to begin with…”

Your friends stay quiet, giving you space to process everything.

“You’ve had a long night,” Mark says finally. “Maybe you should sleep on it.”

“Sleep on what?” you laugh, annoyance flooding through you at the whole situation. 

“I guess- I just thought…” You hear Mark swallow thickly. “I thought maybe this would change things.”

“It changes nothing,” you state, but you’re sure you all know how big of a lie that is.

Jaehyun admitting he has feelings for you changes everything- perhaps the only thing it doesn’t change is how you feel for Johnny.

“Sleep on it,” Ten agrees. “If you need anything, let us know.”

“You should really eat something,” Johnny says, carefully settling down onto the couch next to you. He has a bowl of fried rice in his hands, and he holds it out. 

“I don’t feel like it,” you frown. “My stomach is in knots.”

He simply looks at you for a moment, then he reaches over to place the food on the coffee table. Once he’s relaxed again, body angled toward yours, he gently takes your hand. “What can I do to make this better?”

“You’re already doing more than enough,” you admit. “Part of me feels like I don’t deserve it.”

“Of course you deserve it,” Johnny insists. 

“Yeah, but we’re still so new… most guys I’ve dated met Jaehyun and dumped me pretty soon after, I’m used to it by now.”

“Sounds like you’ve been dating insecure pieces of shit.”

You can’t help but chuckle at his words, and you nod in agreement. “I guess that’s probably true.” You take a deep breath. “I have something else to tell you.”

“Okay.” Johnny gives you the space to collect your thoughts.

“Last summer, Jaehyun and I…” you release a pent-up sigh. “Gosh, this feels so vulgar to even admit- he uh… he ate me out.” Part of you doesn’t want to look at Johnny, but another side of you needs to see his reaction, so you take a peek at your new boyfriend. 

He lets out a surprised laugh. “Okay?”

“Is it okay?” you press.

“Yeah? Honestly, I was expecting you to say the two of you had fucked before, so hearing he only ate you out is kind of… underwhelming? But in a good way.” He strokes your hand gently. 

“You’re taking this whole thing really well,” you tell him, unable to help the smile that works its way onto your face.

“I mean, you’re hot, he’s hot- and this whole eating out thing was last year, I’d be an asshole to hold it against you.”

“Yes, it was last year, but then he kissed me last night, so that’s more recent, and I just wanted to come clean with you on everything.”

“I appreciate that.” Johnny offers you a smile. “Come here.” He pulls you into a hug, and your entire body relaxes in his embrace. He holds you until you move away, and when you settle back against the couch, his hand finds yours again, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “So what are you thinking about this whole thing now?”

“I mean… I’m with you. Jaehyun had his chance, and he never took it. I’m frustrated that it took him seeing me happy to finally admit his feelings, but that doesn’t change how I feel about you.” 

Johnny nods, and you can see the cogs of his mind working away behind his chocolate-brown eyes. 

“You look like you want to say something,” you muse after a few moments of silence.

“I’m just thinking,” Johnny tells you, and now it’s your turn to give him space to process. “Listen, you’re right about things being new between the two of us.” You can tell Johnny is choosing his words very carefully. “If we were a few months further along with this, I wouldn’t be suggesting what I’m about to say to you, but I think we’re at a place where what I’m going to offer is doable because we don’t have a steady rhythm yet.”

Your heart lurches into your throat and you hang onto his next words.

“As I said last night, you and Jaehyun have history. I can tell that you’re torn, and I appreciate your loyalty to me even though we’ve only been dating a short while,” Johnny states. “However, even with all of that said, I don’t want to be the reason you don’t explore something with him, something that’s clearly been building for years. And unlike all those other insecure assholes you’ve dated, I’m really not the jealous type.”

You blink at Johnny, doing your best to register the unsaid connotation of what he’s suggesting.

“So…” Johnny swallows thickly, “as long as what we have doesn’t change too much, as long as we still spend a lot of time together, I wouldn’t be opposed to sharing you with him, if that’s something you’d be interested in.”

You stare at him blankly. “Sharing.”

“Yeah, sharing,” Johnny laughs. “I mean, he’s your best friend, so if this whole shit show hadn’t happened, I would have been sharing you a lot anyways.”

“How are you so chill with all of this?” 

Johnny simply shrugs. “I guess I’ve never been one to feel that restricted by cultural expectations. Some people have more than enough love to share it, and it’s clear that there’s room for two people in your heart. I’m just the lucky son of a bitch that gets the chance to have part of you, despite your long history with Jaehyun.”

There’s nothing you can really say as you look at the man who’s already turned your life upside down. All you can do is whisper an honest, “I love you,” before pressing your lips to his.

Johnny kisses you back, one hand moving to cup your face as he lays you down onto the couch.

You get lost in him, your tumultuous thoughts about Jaehyun dissipating as Johnny takes over.

Jaehyun nearly jumps out of bed when his phone rings and your contact appears on the screen. He almost drops his phone in his haste to answer, his fingers becoming almost butter-like with anxiety. Still, he manages to hit the accept button, and his heart hammers in his chest when he says a meager, “Hello?”

It’s silence on the other end, and Jaehyun has to double-check the call didn’t drop. Then, “Hi.”

He doesn’t even know what to say to you. He has so many things that want to come out, a flurry of thoughts and feelings- but he decides on the safe option, which is a quick, “I’m sorry.”

Silence.

“I’m uh- I shouldn’t have kissed you. Shouldn’t have told you to tell me you love me more than your boyfriend. That was uh…” he remembers what Mark told him, “wrong. It was wrong for me to do that.”

“It was,” you agree, and the words hurt him. Jaehyun maybe partly expected you to say it was all okay, to absolve him of the guilt he’s feeling, but no- this is a burden he’s going to have to carry from now on. “I’m still not happy about it.” God, another cut to his heart. “Saying that, however, I have a proposition for you.”

“A proposition?” Confusion sets in.

“I want you to talk to Johnny.”

“Johnny?” Jaehyun is shocked. “For what? Is he going to kick my ass or something?”

He can hear a hint of a smile on your lips when you assure him, “He’s not going to kick your ass.”

“Are you a hundred percent sure? Because that guy is bigger than me and we both know I rely on my face to survive.”

“I’m sure,” you sigh. “I’m going to give him your number, just wanted to let you know.”

Jaehyun fiddles with the sleeve of his hoodie. “We’re still friends right?”

“Yes, Jae, we’re still friends. I’m just… processing all of this.”

Yet again, Jaehyun pulls up a saying from one of your close mutuals, going for one of Ten’s classic, “Valid,” statements. 

“Anyways, I should go, but yeah, Johnny will text you.”

“Okay, goodnight.”

You hang up the phone and Jaehyun lets out a deep breath, collapsing back onto his bed. He’s happy you called and touched base, but he has no idea what to expect from your new boyfriend.

Johnny is waiting at the cafe when Jaehyun arrives. He’d taken the liberty of getting Jaehyun’s coffee order from you before he’d left his apartment, so when the pretty man walks in, there’s no time wasted with him standing in line.

Offering a smile, Johnny waves your best friend over, pushing the cup toward Jaehyun’s side of the table.

Jaehyun stands there for a moment, looking down at the coffee and then up at Johnny. “This is weird,” he says finally.

“It’s about to get weirder,” Johnny jokes. “Sit down.”

With a sigh, Jaehyun does as he’s told, his eyes averted. 

Johnny is used to guys being scared of him due to his size alone, and more than almost anyone, Jaehyun has a reason to be on edge. After only meeting once, there’s no way for Jaehyun to know Johnny is a gentle giant, and the elder man is quick to attempt to rectify this. “I’m not here to fight,” he says softly.

“I’d understand if you were,” Jaehyun sighs. “I kissed your girlfriend and tried to break the two of you up.”

Johnny can only laugh. “I’m not the jealous type.”

“That makes one of us.”

“At least you can admit to that,” Johnny notes. “That’s a good start. I can understand why you’d be jealous, I mean, I’m dating your best friend, and from what Mark and Ten tell me, you’ve been into her for a long time.”

Jaehyun simply shrugs, looking down at his untouched coffee.

“Look, I didn’t come here for an apology,” Johnny says.

“You didn’t?”

“No, y/n’s the one you need to apologize to, she’s the one you need to smooth things over with. The whole kiss situation was very… confusing for her, and I’m sure you can understand why.”

“I guess.” Jaehyun reaches up and rubs the back of his neck.

“She cares about you,” Johnny states, and for the first time since sitting down, Jaehyun meets his gaze. “You two have a bond that goes back for years. You’re an important part of her life, and she doesn’t want to lose that.”

“That’s nice to hear and everything, but shouldn’t she be the one telling me this?” Jaehyun asks.

“I’m sure once things settle over, she will, but first, we have to discuss a few things.” 

“I’m listening.”

“I’d like to think that you being semi-combative right now has more to do with the whole kiss thing than you not liking me,” Johnny admits with a laugh. “Because if you don’t like me, what I’m about to suggest is never going to work out.”

Jaehyun simply looks Johnny up and down, remaining silent.

“It’s obvious y/n cares about you,” Johnny states. “She cares about me too. And I know she has room for both of us, if we can get along.”

“Of course she has room for both of us, I’m her best friend.”

“I mean… she has room for both of us as more than friends.”

“Huh?”

Johnny finds it almost comical how confused Jaehyun looks. “What I’m saying is- even if the kiss never happened, I’d be sharing her with you. But the kiss did happen, and it’s clear you want something more- she and I are still very new in our relationship, and with newness comes… flexibility.” 

“Flexibility,” Jaehyun repeats, and there’s not a hint of two working brain cells behind those pretty eyes of his. 

Johnny can’t help but let out a chuckle. He reaches for his coffee, leaning back against his chair. “Yeah, flexibility.” He sips on his drink while Jaehyun takes time to process.

“So you’re saying…” Jaehyun looks to Johnny to finish the sentence, but Johnny doesn’t want to give him that satisfaction. He wants to see Jaehyun work it out himself. “You’re saying… you’re… flexible… about… sharing… your girlfriend.”

“Uh huh.” 

“And… what did… uh, what did she say about all of this?”

Johnny shrugs. “She’s open to it. Like I said, she’s still a little upset about how this whole thing happened, but you two have history, if you apologize enough, she’ll work through it.”

“And you’re… completely chill about all of this?” Jaehyun asks.

“I suggested it.”

“You did?”

“It’s a two birds, one stone kind of problem, don’t you think?”

Jaehyun cocks his head to the side. “Are we the birds?” 

Johnny can only smile. “Sure.”

“So… now what?”

“Now, we try to be friends, you fix things with y/n, and we see what happens.”

“What do you get out of all of this?” Jaehyun asks, and there’s a hint of suspicion in his eyes. “You know I’m straight, right?”

Johnny nearly chokes on his coffee. “Dude. We’re both straight.”

“Okay, I was just checking.”

“Look- I care about y/n, she cares about you. I’d rather do this and keep her, than have your history impact my future. Also… I mean, in this day and age of adult content, I think a lot of us have… watcher tendencies, wouldn’t you say?”

“I’m a doer, not a watcher,” Jaehyun insists.

“You don’t watch any porn?”

“I never said that.”

Jaehyun is lucky he’s pretty.

You’re watching a show when your phone rings. Johnny is passed out behind you, and you’re quick to answer the call so the sound doesn’t wake him. “One sec,” you whisper to Jaehyun on the other end of the line, checking over your shoulder. Johnny is still asleep and as you gently wiggle from his grasp, he stirs slightly but repositions and continues his gentle snores.

You go out onto the terrace, bringing your phone to your ear. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he responds.

“So… how’s it going?” you ask.

Jaehyun lets out a sigh. “Weird day.”

“Yeah, Johnny told me all about it.”

“I guess that’s not a shock,” Jaehyun admits. “What did he say?”

“He told me about your talk.” You swallow thickly. “Said… said you were open to his suggestion.”

“The whole sharing thing,” your best friend clarifies.

“Yeah.”

“What do you think about it?” he asks.

You choose your words carefully. “I think it’s an interesting idea.”

“Yeah?”

“I mean… you and I do have a history.”

“We do,” he agrees.

“I just… you don’t date, Jaehyun. I’m still mad at you that you waited so long to make a move. I’m mad that when you kissed me, you still tried to make me tell you I love you, and you didn’t confess many of your own feelings.”

You hear him swallow thickly. “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t do any of it correctly.”

“So how would you have done it? Correctly, I mean.”

“I should have told you how I felt a long time ago,” he admits. “It shouldn’t have taken you finding someone like Johnny to make me snap.”

“No, it shouldn’t have. You’re lucky he’s such a wonderful guy that he didn’t come knock your teeth in.”

“I am lucky,” Jaehyun says softly. There’s a beat of silence then, “That night, you said you were in love with me for years… it felt very past tense.”

“And? Is there a question there?”

“I guess… I’m just… You don’t love me anymore?”

“It’s complicated.”

“But you want to try this whole threesome thing,” he points out. “So… that must mean there’s still feelings.”

“It’s not just a threesome thing,” you point out. “Johnny’s suggesting an actual sort-of-open sort-of-closed relationship where I can date both of you.”

“Right, yeah.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“Good?”

You can’t help but laugh. “Talk to me, Jae.”

“I just… Won’t it be weird if you’re dating two guys?”

You think about it for a moment. “Maybe. But, even if I was just dating Johnny and you were my best friend- we’ve acted like a couple for a long time, don’t you think?”

“I guess.”

“Maybe this is a good test to see if you can actually do commitment,” you suggest.

“Maybe.”

“That doesn’t sound promising.”

“I guess I’m just worried about how it will be with Johnny.”

“You mean how jealous you’ll get.”

“It was hard to see him with you.”

“And yet, he’s open to seeing us be happy. Why do you think it’s so hard for you to watch me be happy with someone else?”

“Because I want to be the main source of your happiness, I guess.”

Why is that kind of sad? Why do you find yourself frowning?

“Look, we can give it a try, have a little date, and see how things feel.”

“A date,” he repeats, and you can hear the smile in his words. “That sounds nice.”

“Maybe you could come over to Johnny’s place and we can get takeout and watch a movie or something.”

“Right, Johnny will be there.”

“Of course he’ll be there.” Maybe this isn’t such a good idea. 

“Sorry, I was just- I don’t know, I thought maybe it would be a separate dates situation.”

“It’s a triangle, not a ‘V’ where I do separate things with you both.”

“But you’re with him alone right now.”

“Cuz he’s my boyfriend?” Jaehyun’s starting to annoy you now. “Jaehyun, we’re inviting you into this, into our relationship, of course I’m going to spend more time alone with him than with you.”

You’ve never been one to fight with Jaehyun, but after that kiss- well, he’s getting on your nerves more and more, and you’re worried about what the outcome of this little experiment will be. 

“Right, sorry, I’m still not thinking straight,” Jaehyun apologizes.

“If you don’t want to do this-”

“I do,” he insists. “I want- I want you, and if that means I have to jump through these hoops, then, I guess I’ll jump through these hoops.”

“I’m not sure this will be a great fit,” you admit. “You’re just so possessive, Jae, you always have been.”

“I’m working on it, I promise.”

You let out a deep breath. “It’s late. We can talk tomorrow.”

“Okay. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

It’s odd to have Jaehyun coming into Johnny’s apartment, and you find yourself clinging to your boyfriend while he gives your best friend a small tour. Jaehyun is cordial, his gaze slipping to you more frequently than not, and you do your best to see the possibility of this whole situation working out.

You’re still confused about your feelings, but it’s kind of nice to have an open space to explore them like this. Johnny truly is the best person you’ve ever met- he’s so understanding, and you don’t want to hurt him in any way, shape, or form.

It’s difficult to wrap your head around the fact that he’s cool with the idea of sharing. Too many social norms and expectations create an anxiety that’s swirling in your gut as the takeout arrives and the three of you settle in the living room.

“What sort of movies do you watch, Jaehyun?” Johnny asks, already scrolling through Netflix.

“Rom-coms and horror mostly.”

“Those are pretty different genres,” your boyfriend laughs. “What do you think, baby? Romance, or horror?”

You’re not particularly in the mood for watching a rom-com with Jaehyun, besides, you’ve seen so many of them with him already. “Let’s do a scary movie,” you decide.

“Works for me,” Johnny nods, switching to the horror section.

The three of you eat your takeout while discussing movies, and you end up settling on some ghost horror film none of you have seen before. You immediately settle in with Johnny, becoming his small spoon out of habit. Jaehyun, meanwhile, shifts awkwardly at the end of the couch.

You try not to think too much about Jaehyun, and the cheap scares in the film are enough to distract you. At your back, Johnny’s soft snores tell you he’s fallen asleep, but his warm arms keep you close.

“This feels weird,” Jaehyun says after a while.

“What does?” you sigh.

“I fucked up, and you’re still mad at me.”

“Part of me thought you were going to say it’s weird seeing me with Johnny,” you admit.

“Shockingly enough, I’m getting used to seeing you as a couple. Told you I’d work on my jealousy, didn’t I?”

You can’t help but laugh. “I guess maybe things are a little tense still, but that will go away with time.”

“Will it?”

“Yeah?”

Jaehyun shifts on the couch. “I am sorry. You know I’m sorry.” 

“I know,” you nod. 

Jaehyun doesn’t say anything else, but this small interaction has helped. When the movie finishes, you and Johnny walk Jaehyun to the door. He gives you a lingering hug goodbye before you go to bed with Johnny, happy with how the ‘date’ had gone.

Things are getting more normal, and you find yourself at a club with Jaehyun, Johnny, Mark and Ten, like you had that first night you’d introduced your boyfriend to your best friend.

Ten is obvious with his side eye, the way he looks both men up and down, whereas Mark has the decency to be more incognito about things, although, you can tell he’s just as confused as Ten is.

When Johnny and Jaehyun head to the bar to get drinks for your table, they’re not five feet away when Ten practically launches at you. “What’s the tea?”

You can only laugh, taking a sip of your nearly empty rum and coke.

“So has the whole sharing thing happened yet?” Mark asks, ears turning pink at his own question.

“We would have heard if it had,” Ten retorts with a quick eye roll. “She’s waiting, making Jaejae sweat.”

“I’m just getting comfy with him again,” you admit. “There’s always a chance this whole idea won’t work out, and I want to be sure he’s not going to be jealous like he always is if something doesn’t go the way he wants it.”

Ten looks you up and down. “Girl, good luck.”

“Don’t say it like that,” you laugh.

“As soon as Jaejae gets in your pants he’s going to be a stage five clinger and we all know it,” Ten insists.

You can only shake your head, your gaze shifting to Johnny and Jaehyun who are wading back through the crowd with drinks in their hands.

This conversation is put on the back burner, but it remains present in your mind. 

After the club, you end up at Johnny’s apartment with Jaehyun in tow. Your skin is tingling with ‘what ifs,’ your heart nearly thundering out of your rib cage.

It’s clear from the way Jaehyun’s moving, precise, and a little apprehensive, that a threesome is in his thoughts as well.

Johnny, however, feels as calm and collected as ever. “More drinks?” he suggests, heading to his fridge to pull out three beers. “Jae, catch.”

Your best friend easily catches the beer, quickly cracking it open and bringing it to his lips. You watch his shoulders relax a little, and you release your own deep breath. 

 “So,” Johnny says, dragging you to his side. “We’ve been hanging out for two weeks, how are we feeling?”

God, he’s so direct. You love it and you hate it at the same time.

Your eyes shift to Jaehyun, and he meets your gaze. “I mean, it’s up to you two.”

“I’m down,” Johnny responds smoothly. “How are you feeling, baby?”

“Can we start slow?” you ask, heart still racing in your chest.

“Slow how?” Johnny prompts, pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

“Like… oral things? Between me and him, I mean.” Your skin flushes and you hope Jaehyun doesn’t take this the wrong way- hope it’s not a sign of favouritism rather than the truth of the fact which is; you’re more comfortable with Johnny, despite your history with Jaehyun.

“Just oral works,” Johnny assures you. “Right, Jae?”

“Yeah, whatever you’re comfortable with,” Jaehyun nods.

“Come on, baby, let’s go to the bedroom.” Johnny takes your hand, guiding you to his room. It’s such a familiar space- and it feels odd to have Jaehyun in it. Jaehyun stops at the threshold, watching you and Johnny.

Your boyfriend downs his beer, setting the empty can onto the bedside table before grabbing you with both hands. His lips are hot against yours, his skilled tongue tasting your own while you let out a small moan.

You can feel Jaehyun’s eyes on you, and it’s an interesting sensation.

“Do you two want to explore each other a little?” Johnny asks.

You nod, turning to look at Jaehyun. He’s hesitant to approach you, but when he does, you step forward, allowing him to grab your hips and pull you closer.

Neither of you say anything, you’re too lost in his eyes as he slowly closes the distance between your lips.

It’s a soft kiss, one you hadn’t quite expected. Your arms wrap around the back of his neck, urging him to come closer, to deepen things. Jaehyun rewards you by teasing his tongue past your lips, and you gladly accept him.

You cup his cheek and his hand slides down to the small of your back, guiding you to the bed. He carefully helps you onto it, climbing on top of you.

“You good?” Jaehyun asks.

“Let’s do this,” you nod.

“Just oral, right?” he clarifies, pressing his lips to your throat.

“Maybe sixty-nine? And then… maybe… well, this is a threesome, so… spit roasting with you in my mouth?”

“You’ve got this all figured out,” Jaehyun says softly. “Whatever you want.”

You grab at his shirt, looking up at him as you begin to unbutton it.

After a moment of shaky fingers, Jaehyun sits up, undoing the fabric so it can fall to the side of the bed.

You’ve always known Jaehyun’s ripped, but seeing it this close is something different. Despite all the history, despite the butchered kiss a few weeks ago- your body tingles at the notion of getting a taste of your best friend.

“You next,” Jaehyun whispers, grabbing at the hem of your shirt. You allow him to tug it off of you, and soon, you’re both getting out of your pants too.

Jaehyun kisses you when you’re both stripped down to underwear, and he grinds against your core so you can feel how hard he already is.

You moan from the sensation, your pussy throbbing with excitement. 

“Here,” Jaehyun rolls the both of you so you’re now on top. “You should be in control, I’ll follow your lead.”

You look down at him for a second, then you turn your head to find Johnny. He’s standing by the wall, hands in his pockets. He’s not touching himself, but you can see the outline of his cock in his pants. He flashes you a wink that acts as a go-ahead, and you muster your courage to adjust on top of Jaehyun, getting into the sixty-nine position.

You both still have underwear on, and you start by teasing Jaehyun through his breifs. 

He releases a groan, and you can feel his breath on your panty clad pussy, a shiver running through you at the stimulus.

“Lift your hips, Jaejae, I wanna take these off.” You gently tug at the band of his briefs, letting them snap back to his skin. Jaehyun lets out a soft moan, following through and lifting his hips so you can tug the fabric down to his knees, exposing his hard cock.

He’s not as big as Johnny, but Jaehyun’s cock is as pretty as the rest of him. You can’t help but lick it from balls to tip, and Jaehyun shivers below you. He tugs your panties to the side, grabbing your hips to pull your pussy down onto his face.

So that’s how it’s going to be.

You go for it, and he does too. A mutual pleasure session.

You sink your mouth onto Jaehyun’s cock, licking at it with your tongue and taking as much as you can before beginning to bob your head up and down.

Jaehyun pulls your clit between your lips in response, flicking at it and making you groan around his cock.

You begin to suck him off faster, urging him to do the same to your core. His tongue glides between your pussy lips, and he moans desperately.

You wonder what you taste like. Wonder if he’s missed the taste of you for a year, wonder if he’s dreamt about this-

Jaehyun laps at your pussy like a man starved, and you can tell the sounds of enjoyment escaping him are mostly related to the eating of your pussy moreso than the blow job you’re giving him. The thought turns you on even more, and you grind down against his face, urging him to make you cum.

You can already taste your orgasm- it feels so natural to be cumming like this, Jaehyun’s cock burried in your mouth and his tongue deep in your pussy between your thighs-

A gentle hand pulls you off of Jaehyun, and you look up to find Johnny staring down at you. “Close, baby?” he asks, pinching your chin softly.

“Yeah,” you nod, licking your lips. “So close-”

“Cum on his tongue, and then we can share you properly. As pretty as the sounds you’re making are, we both know you like to be filled with something bigger than a tongue.”

Your toes curl at the thought of Johnny fucking you with his thick cock, and you take gasped breaths, your skin tingling as Jaehyun works you closer and closer-

You begin to stroke him off, all while staring up at Johnny and grinding against Jaehyun’s face.

“I’m there- I’m there- fuck-” you cry desperately as Jaehyun pulls your clit into his mouth, sucking you like his life depends on it and throwing you over the edge.

Your orgasm surges through you-

“Don’t close your eyes,” Johnny warns. “Look at me.”

Somehow his words make the sensation even more extreme, your pussy throbbing desperately around nothing while you stare up at your boyfriend.

While you cum, Johnny pulls out his cock, and without a moment’s hesitation you put it in your mouth. Now you’re cumming, riding Jaehyun’s face, stroking him off, and blowing Johnny all at the same time-

This is what a threesome should be, you realize, and you’re desperate for what comes next.

“Get it all lubed up,” Johnny praises you, petting your head. “When you’re done cumming, let us know.”

You’re still riding the aftershocks of your orgasm, and after a minute you pull off of Johnny’s cock to nod at him. “I’m ready for more.”

“Good girl,” he grins. “You know what to do.”

You climb off of Jaehyun, turning to present your ass to Johnny. 

“While Jaehyun gets into position, I think we should both get naked,” Johnny announces, “it’s only fair. 

You slip out of your panties, your bra following quickly afterward, and soon, all three of you are naked to each other’s eyes. You’re on your hands and knees, looking up at Jaehyun while Johnny pulls your ass cheeks apart, teasing his cock through your wet folds.

“Do you want me to fuck your face?” Jaehyun asks, smirking down at you.

It’s clear that eating you out gave him some confidence. Gone is the hesitancy, and in it’s place is this suave man, the man you’ve always known, the best friend who picks up chicks everywhere he goes.

“Fuck my face,” you tell him, leaning forward to capture his cock in your mouth.

“No cumming down her throat though,” Johnny warns.

“Then where am I supposed to cum?” Jaehyun asks, thrusts already faltering as he stares at your boyfriend.

“Her tits? Your own chest? Just not her mouth or face,” Johnny responds. 

“Whatever you say,” Jaehyun sighs, quickly finding a rhythm.

Johnny pushes his own cock into your pussy, forcing you forward on Jaehyun, whose cock hits the back of your throat.

You gag slightly, but oddly enough, it’s not the worst sensation in the world. “Think she likes choking,” Johnny muses. “Your pussy just got so tight for me, baby. Do you like that?”

You let out a sound of affirmation, trying to take more of Jaehyun in your mouth as the two men begin a push pull of thrusts. You feel like a ragdoll, but there’s something so freeing about it-

“See? Threesomes are fun,” Johnny notes, causing Jaehyun to chuckle and you to moan loudly while your throat and pussy get used simultaneously. 

“She’s good at sucking dick,” Jaehyun says wistfully, fucking your face harder.

“She’s good at most things, don’t know if you realized this, but your best friend is a little over achiever,” Johnny muses, his tone soft. 

“Is it bad if I cum fast?” Jaehyun asks. “I’ve been wanting this for so long- to have her actually sucking my dick is a little, uh… overwhelming.”

“Cum on her tits whenever you want,” Johnny responds smoothly. “I’ll finish her and I off once you’re done.”

“Okay, yeah,” Jaehyun’s motions falter ever so slightly. “Fuck, princess, you just feel so good-”

You look up at Jaehyun, and you see him shiver when you meet his gaze.

“You love this, huh?” he asks. “Love having two cocks inside you?”

You can only moan a sound of affirmation, and Jaehyun sucks in a harsh breath. “Okay, shit, fuck-” he pulls out of your mouth, hand finding his cock-

Johnny adjusts you ever so slightly, holding you up and arching your back almost to an unbearable point- giving Jaehyun full access to your tits as he jacks off-

“Fuck-” Jaehyun groans again, throwing his head back as ropes of white cum spurt out of him, painting your chest.

Johnny fucks you faster, his large cock spreading you open like nothing else ever has.

Jaehyun finally stops, and Johnny helps you onto your knees, one hand finding your throat to hold you with your back to his chest. “Look at you, all covered in cum,” Johnny whispers in your ear.

You moan, resting your head back on his shoulder.

Johnny’s other hand finds your chest, and he swipes a finger through the cum, bringing it to your lips. “Guess I should let you have a taste.”

You greedily suck his fingers into your mouth, and Jaehyun’s brand of cum explodes across your tastebuds. He’s a healthy guy, with a focus on clean eating, and his cum reflects that.

“Want you to play with your cum covered tits, give Jaehyun a show while I make us cum,” Johnny instructs. “In fact, play with your clit too.”

Your right hand slips between your legs, two fingers rubbing your clit in fast, harsh circles. Your other hand finds your breasts, squeezing the pump flesh and spreading Jaehyun’s cum across your skin while he sits back and stares up at you in shock.

“Feels good?” Johnny asks.

“Feels so good,” you groan, walls clenching around Johnny as he builds you up to another orgasm.

You pinch your nipple, squealing at the sensation while Johnny fucks you even harder. 

“You’re close, aren’t you, baby?” Johnny questions, his breath hot on your throat, his fingers digging into your hips.

“Yeah-” you nod, unable to think too much as your high quickly approaches.

“Here, I’ll rub your clit, I know you like giving up control when you cum.” Johnny pushes your hand to the side, two much rougher fingers finding your sensitive bud.

You let out a cry of desperation, your stomach muscles clenching in anticipation-

“That’s it, baby, cum for me,” Johnny coos in your ear. “Cum on my cock like the good girl you are.”

You can’t help yourself, your pussy squeezes Johnny incredibly tight as your orgasm hits you, throbbing through your whole body and making you gasp in ecstasy.

“That’s it,” Johnny grins, burying his face in the crook of your neck. From his sounds, you know he’s close too, and after three more rough thrusts, he’s cumming deep in your core, filling you with everything he has to offer.

Johnny fucks you through your highs, and when he finishes, he simply stops, breathing heavily in your ear. “Shower?” he says after a moment.

“Shower,” you agree.

“Jae, I’ll uh-” Johnny runs a hand through his hair, “I’ll see you out, unless you wanna crash on the couch.” 

“I can go,” Jaehyun responds almost too casually, and you notice he’s already half hard again. You’d bet your life he’s going to go home and rub another one out to the thought of you covered in his cum and playing with your tits-

“Come on, baby,” Johnny carries you bridal style to the bathroom, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

You don’t feel the need to say goodbye to Jaehyun as the hot water begins to fall against your skin, washing the cum away.

You’re so tired there’s not much going through your mind.

Johnny is true to his word, rejoining you a short time later. 

He scrubs your body clean, and helps you with your towel when you’re done. As the two of you get back into bed, your phone dings, and you see a message there from Jaehyun.

JaeJae (2:00 am): that was fun

JaeJae (2:00 am) we should do that again sometime

JaeJae (2:00 am) goodnight princess 

☀️ mlist + an. Thank you so much for reading! I miss JohnJae, so I'm happy I was able to write a fic for them again :)

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🔮 preview. You can only whine and whimper, held down by his weight and unable to do anything. This position is definitely a favourite, you’re their little pillow princess, and you love nothing more than laying there and taking cock.

cw/ tw. Threesome, Johnny participates as a watcher, unprotected sex, voyuerism, fucking with a skirt on, breast worship, creampie, cumming together, dirty talk, praise, slight edging,  begging, etc…   I petnames. (hers) baby & princess.

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 1.6k I teaser wc. 80

🌙 starring. Jaehyun & Johnny x afab!Reader

 bonus

“Straight up,” Ten sighs, watching Johnny and Jaehyun standing by the bar waiting for drinks, “I did not think this was going to work.”

“Me neither,” you admit, laughing.

“I guess Jae just needed the right dom to control the situation, huh?” Ten cocks his head to the side, thinking the whole thing through. 

“When you say it like that, it sounds a little odd,” you giggle, “but maybe.”

“Who knew Jaehyun could share.” Ten shakes his head again. “I’m shook.”

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the cabin trip had been chaos from the start. too many people, too many bags, too many voices all talking over each other. but it was fun. loud, messy, and full of warmth despite the winter air seeping in from outside.

you hadn’t really talked to jaemin much before. he was always around, part of the same friend group, but somehow the two of you had never really hung out. just passing conversation, shared laughter over someone else’s joke, a nod in greeting.

but now, sitting in the bubbling hot tub under a sky full of stars, he was the only other person with you.

“surprised you’re not inside with the others,” you murmur, watching the way the steam curls up into the cold night air.

jaemin shifts, stretching an muscled arm along the edge of the tub. “surprised you’re out here alone,” he counters, voice lazy, smooth.

you glance at him, half-smiling. “maybe i like the quiet.”

his lips twitch. “or maybe you were waiting for me.”

you scoff, rolling your eyes, but there’s a flicker of something in his gaze, something playful and dangerous at the same time. and something about it drew you in.

“i didn’t even know you were coming out here.”

he hums, tilting his head slightly. “exactly. makes it even more suspicious.”

you shake your head, but the water shifts as he moves closer, the space between you growing smaller.

“so,” he says, voice dropping just a bit, “how come we never really talk?”

you raise a brow at him. “i don’t know. maybe because we run in the same circles but never in the same direction.”

he smirks at that. “poetic.”

“it’s the hot tub. makes me reflective.”

he chuckles, the sound low and silky, and you’re suddenly very aware of how warm it is, how the heat clings to your skin, how the water ripples when he moves again.

“or maybe,” he says, voice taking on that teasing edge again, “you’ve been avoiding me.”

you scoff, but he catches the way your fingers twitch under the surface of the water. “why would i do that?”

he leans in just slightly, and the air between you shifts, charged with something unspoken.

“i don’t know,” he murmurs, “but i think you have your reasons.”

you hold his gaze, refusing to look away first.

“you think i’m that obvious?” you ask, tilting your head.

he grins. “i think you don’t hide it as well as you think.”

the tension stretches further, thick and heavy, the steam curling around both of you.

“so what now?” you ask, voice quieter now, but still laced with something daring.

jaemin doesn’t answer right away. instead, he moves closer, the space between you vanishing in an instant.

his hands find your hips under the water, fingers pressing into your skin, and before you can react, he’s pulling you onto his lap.

you gasp, hands landing on his shoulders, but he only smirks, his grip firm, his body solid beneath you.

“now,” he murmurs, voice low, “i think we stop pretending.”

his hands roam, fingers tracing over slick skin, and the heat of the water is nothing compared to the fire licking up your spine as he leans in, breath ghosting over your lips.

“tell me to stop,” he says, teasing but serious underneath it.

you don’t.

instead, you curl your fingers into his hair, tugging just slightly, and watch the way his eyes darken in response.

“thought so,” he mutters before closing the last bit of distance between you.

the first kiss is slow, almost testing, but it doesn’t stay that way.

because the moment you respond by tilting your head, pressing closer, fingers tangling in his hair, it turns into something else entirely.

jaemin’s grip tightens, pulling you flush against him, and his hands move, trailing down your spine, over your hips, touching wherever he can.

the water moves around you, gentle ripples lapping against the edge of the tub, but neither of you pay it any mind.

his lips are insistent, teasing and demanding all at once, and when he nips at your bottom lip, a quiet gasp escapes you before you can stop it.

he grins against your mouth. “cute.”

you huff, about to retort, but he kisses you again, effectively shutting you up.

his hands are everywhere, tracing, memorizing, and you let him. you let yourself melt into his touch, into the warmth of him against you.

the night was bitterly cold, but here, in the burning heat of the water, you didn’t even feel it.

there’s only his hands, his mouth, his body, the way he’s holding you like he has no plans of letting go anytime soon.

and you don’t mind one bit.

the kiss deepens even more, all heat and slow-burning hunger, and jaemin’s fingers drift lower, tracing the curve of your waist before slipping further.

he finds the string at your hip, teasing it between his fingers, pulling just enough to make your breath hitch.

“this in the way?” he murmurs against your lips, voice low and knowing.

your fingers tighten in his hair, but you don’t answer. not yet.

he pulls again just a little, just enough for the knot to loosen slightly before his other hand slides up your back, pressing you even closer.

“you’re not stopping me,” he muses, his grin brushing against your skin as his lips trail along your jaw.

“why should i?” you shoot back, but the words are breathless, almost lost in the steam around both of you.

jaemin chuckles, the sound vibrating against your throat, and then he rolls his hips up.

the friction is sudden, sharp, sending a bolt of heat through your body, and your fingers dig into his hair, a quiet moan escaping you before you can stop it.

his grip tightens at your waist, like he’s holding himself back, but then he does it again. slower this time, making sure you feel everything.

“fuck,” he mutters, head tipping back against the edge of the tub, eyes dark and half-lidded as he watches you. “you feel so good.”

your stomach tightens at his words, heat pooling low, and you don’t even realize you’re rocking forward slightly, chasing the feeling, until his fingers press into your hips, guiding your movements.

he exhales sharply, a quiet groan slipping from his lips.

“you have no idea how bad i want you right now,” he says, voice rougher now, edged with lust.

you swallow, trying to catch your breath, trying to think past the way his hands feel on you, past the way he’s looking at you like he’s one second away from dragging you under completely.

he shifts again, leaning forward, mouth ghosting over your collarbone. his hands still playing at the strings of your swimsuit.

“just say the word, angel,” he murmurs, lips brushing against your skin. “we can go upstairs.”

you exhale shakily, your fingers slipping from his hair to his shoulder then chest, feeling the way his heart beats just as fast as yours.

you should probably think this through. should probably take a second.

but then he tilts his head, presses an open-mouthed kiss just below your ear.

“okay,” you breathe, voice barely audible over the sound of the water.

jaemin stills for a second, like he’s making sure he heard you right.

then he grins.

“good,” he murmurs, before pressing one last lingering kiss to your lips, his hands finally untying the strings he’d been toying with all night.

৻ꪆ taeyong keeps the camera steady as he clicks a picture of you beneath him, your wrists tied gently with silk. your body is relaxed, surrendering, and the way your eyes hold nothing but trust makes his chest tighten with love. his fingers ghost along your flushed skin, feeling the heat radiating off you. “beautiful,” he whispers, snapping another picture as you whimper under his touch.

৻ꪆ yuta snaps a picture of you in the mirror, your bare back pressed against his chest, his fingers gripping your jaw to make you look at the reflection. his other hand grips the phone as he captures the way your lips tremble, the way your fingers cling onto his arm for support. “look at yourself,” he murmurs against your skin, smirking when you try to turn away. “too late, i already got you.”

৻ꪆ doyoung takes a picture of you right as he pulls away, leaving you breathless, your fingers gripping onto his wrist trying to pull him back. your lipstick is smudged, your hair a mess from how his hands have been tangled in it. he captures the exact moment you whimper his name, your chest rising and falling, your body begging for him. his smirk is audible when he whispers, “you look perfect like this.”

৻ꪆ jaehyun snaps a picture of you tangled in his arms, your bare thighs wrapped around his waist, your head tilted back in bliss. his hand cups your jaw, tilting your face toward him as he captures the way your lips part, the hazy look in your eyes. his voice is husky when he murmurs, “this one’s just for me.” the phone is tossed aside the second you pull him back in.

৻ꪆ jungwoo’s hand shakes slightly as he takes the picture, capturing the way your body trembles under him. his fingers trace down your thigh, and you shudder in response, eyes half-lidded, lips parted. “just one more,” he whispers, snapping another as you gasp from his touch. he grins, placing the phone down before leaning in, whispering against your lips, “you’re even prettier in real life.”

৻ꪆ mark hesitates before clicking the picture, his lips caught between his teeth as he watches you through the lens. you’re beneath him, a lazy smile on your lips, your fingers gripping onto his shoulders. the way your eyes meet his through the camera makes his breath hitch. he captures the moment right before he leans back in, whispering, “i think i need a hundred more of these.”

৻ꪆ haechan takes a picture of you sprawled out beneath him, your body still shaking, your lips swollen from his kisses. he grins, tilting the camera to catch the way your fingers grip the sheets, your thighs trembling. “you look so pretty like this,” he teases, snapping another as you glare at him, your face flushed. his laughter fills the room before he tosses the phone aside and leans back in, whispering, “guess i’ll just have to make you look even prettier.”

with love,