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pear’s thoughts — SRY FOR SLACKINNNNN DADA IS SO SEY GUYSSSSS!!!! i’m finally rounding out the fuma villain arc i think!!! thanks u guys for being masochistic fucks 😁😁😁😁
c/w: idol x idol, break up due to agency and career, long term relationship broken, open ending
a/n: angst for those craving it.
White Ferrari - Frank Ocean
The white sedan, a borrowed, beat-up Hyundai, wasn't a Ferrari, but to you, it was always the same thing: a symbol of borrowed time and freedom. Tonight, it felt like a coffin.
Anton's knuckles were white against the steering wheel, his mind meticulously ''on the road,'' focusing on the faint yellow lines blurring past. Every agency warning about your careers, public image, contracts, and the future of both RIIZE and your group screamed in the silence. You were told to end it cleanly, and that the best way was just to stop talking completely.
He hadn't met your eyes since you got in.
You sat in the passenger seat, tracing patterns on the foggy window with your fingertip. You weren't crying, yet. Crying would be loud, messy, and require an explanation you couldn't give. The crushing weight of everything left unsaid was suffocating.
This is it, you thought. He wasn't going to fight. His calm, rational exterior. the very thing that made him the Anton the world saw was now the wall between you. You couldn't hate him. You both knew this was for the best, you chose this, you knew it from the start, but maybe... just maybe...
You felt the knot form in your throat, hands already shaking and chest heavy, you felt like throwing up, screaming, crying, fighting. Fight for you, for him, for both of you, your freedom, your love.
You closed your eyes desperate for air, calm, and almost instantly the present faded.
You were sixteen again and it was summer. You were wearing Anton's shirt and still smelling faintly of sweat. The sedan was parked by the Han river, windows down, the summer air heavy with cicadas. Anton was humming a new beat he composed with one of his new friends, his head resting lightly against yours.
"I think I nailed the hook, but the bridge is missing something" he'd whispered then.
You looked up at the vast, indifferent night sky, feeling the perfect joy of just being next to him, utterly unconcerned.
"who cares about the bridge? Just burn it"
he laughed, a genuine breathy sound as his hand reached for yours, kissing the back of it. His confidence an invisible shield against the world. He was tired, but he was yours.
Anton finally pulled over to a dark side street, the residential area near your dorm.
The engine cut off, and the silence that followed was louder than any of your hit songs.
This is it. The moment of rupture. The place where you had to get out and return to the person you were before him, the person your agency and the world wanted you to be.
You tried to reach for the door handle, but your hand wouldn't move. You just stared at your hands and then at him, unable to make the final break.
"why?" you finally managed, the word thin and shaking.
He drew a ragged breath. "You know why." He still wouldn't look at you. "Can't take what's been given"
They had given you both everything. the music, the stage, the chance at a future, and now they were taking the price.
"why can't you fight for us?" the question itself almost broke you down. Anton avoided your gaze, looking out the window. "you act like we're small and not worth the mention, not worth the fight, but for me you are..."
tears rolled down your cheeks. His knuckles white as he gripped the steering wheel, his breath uneven now.
"it's just not the time..." he answered in a whisper, low voice, careful but it still felt like a dagger, like a scream. "maybe another time, maybe..." he sighed letting his head fall down
"I'm sure that somewhere else, in another dimension... we're taller. I'm sure somewhere else... somewhere else it could've just been you and me against the world, but right here, right now, we're not free" his gaze steady on the steering wheel, then back out of the window darting around.
your eyes stung "so that's it...? you're leaving when I forget to speak? when we face real problems?" your voice shook with a hint of accusation and full of betrayal and hurt.
Anton said nothing. He turned and reached out, and with a familiar gesture he'd done a hundred times before, he gently tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
Your breath caught, the tears flowing down once again and you saw it in his eyes, the one threatening to spill, the hurt, behind them. Unlike the moment his touch was tender and full of all the words he couldn't speak. You leaned onto his touch unconsciously and he let his fingers linger on your cheek for a second.
"I remember every single day" he whispered, voice cracking slightly. "I care for you still and I will forever" your lips trembled at his words.
He reached into the console and pressed a small, smooth object into your hand. A tiny, white stone you both picked out from the Han river that summer night cause it looked like a heart. A silent, tangible promise.
You looked at Anton, eyes red and cheeks pink from trying to hold back all of the broken sobs.
"maybe... maybe this will all be over in no time. Someday.. someday we will find each other again, and we could vacay to those places we wanted to go. This can't be all there is, not when I..." his voice broke down, thumb caressing your hand as tears started to roll down his cheeks "not when I love you this much..."
"someday we'll be free to roam" he whispered "but now we can't... so please..." a broken sob escaped his throat, he brought your hand closer, his shaky and uneven warm breath against it as he pressed a soft kiss on your knuckles to then take a deep breath "please just leave" his voice firm, but barely audible and so full of pain.
he let your hand go then, and you reached for the car's doorhandle, fumbling on it as you stepped out into the cold night air. You forced yourself to not look back, pressing your hand against your mouth to muffle the sobs that started to spill.
Anton sat for a long time listening to the crunch of your footsteps fade. He finally turned the key. As the engine purred back to life, he looked at the empty seat beside him. His lips forming the last words, not for you, but for himself.
"we'll be okay, we'll do fine... and someday we'll be free to roam.'"
freedom now felt cold, and you both knew. You had always felt taller, and happier in that other dimension.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
