I just wanted to write a joke about tumbling into here but I have enough self-awareness to not make a horrible first impression.

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@mellonholy
I just wanted to write a joke about tumbling into here but I have enough self-awareness to not make a horrible first impression.

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I recently gave all my story ideas goofy titles and I love them.
A selection:
TRUMAN SHOW BUT WITH A LOT OF MURDER
SHERLOCK HOLMES FOR EDGELORDS
EVIL SPIDER-MAN
STUPID REVERSE VAMPIRES
PSYCHOPATH CHILD WITH AUDIOBOOKS
People are getting mad about the Ramadan McDonald's ads in Germany.
The Ramadan McDonald's ads in Germany.
Are we seriously getting mad about this?
MOST OF THE COMPLAINTS WERE FROM NON-GERMANS, WHAT ARE WE DOING???
And so many of them are like "hurr durr, the muslims are invading and taking over", bitch you think a muslim was responsible for making those ads?
I am 100% certain someone in fucking McDonald's marketing thought "Mm, what is big thing for attention now? Ah, Islam Ramadan thing is big good for attention right now, let us do. Corporate chimp brain happy."
This is a classic corporate fuck up that was completely unnecessary, because the whole point of Ramadan is to resist the temptation of food and drink. Why the fuck would you need McDonald's of all things to "help" you with that?
I have difficulty in expressing how dumb I find both the outrage about the ads and the fact that they even exist.
Don't you just love it when you try to claw your way out of a depression episode because you HAVE to be productive and your body is like:
"Fuck you, I will contract a cold now. Enjoy using even more energy to lug your body around."
Like bro I can't, I have multiple exams, an important administrative position and I do barkeeper on the side.
Mfw I can't afford to get sick because people actually rely on my useless ass.
Are you bored?
Challenge yourself and try to explain the concept of Clash Royale to your grandmother.
I guarantee you it will lead to something very funny or very miserable. Maybe both.
HOLY HELL, I FOUND OUT MY GIRLFRIEND'S GRANDMOTHER ACTIVELY PLAYS CLASH ROYALE

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I need to tell a train experience I just had because it's been stuck in my head for almost an hour
>Here I am, on the train, probably gonna miss my connection because Deutsche Bahn things
>Queue Karen #1, you will find out shortly why I called her that
>She asks me if I she can take my seat so she can face the train's direction
>Polite, normal stuff, so of course I comply
>She then proceeds to bother two ladies sitting nearby because they were literally just talking
>She mumbles about not getting any peace and quiet and promptly leaves
>Thank_god.jpg
>BARELY TEN MINUTES LATER
>Queue Karen #2, random dude
>Starts to give shit to the same two ladies from THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WAGON
>holy hell
>a second Karen has hit the train
>He goes on for a solid thirty seconds about how there's gonna be a problem when the two women aren't quiet
>Meanwhile, my ass is wondering why I always have to be at the wrong place at the wrong time
>THERE'S NO RULES AGAINST TALKING IN THIS FUCKING TRAIN
>Karen #2 finally shuts up
>Miss my connection and have to wait an hour in the cold
>fuck my chungus life
Just saw a ftm on the train and felt a sense of pride at the various flags carefully painted on their shoes (trans, ...) knowing that they are not afraid to be themselves.
Then I read "dead men don't rape" on their shoe.
Huh.
There are barely any things more hype than landing a clean shot at beer pong and yelling "LEBROOOOOOOOON" at the top of your lungs.
Went to sleep with a headache and it was still there when I woke up.
Code Red, Defcon 1, sound the alarms, something is very wrong.
A haiku.
What are Labubus
They fucking look like gremlins
Why would you want one

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Just read about some parents online (american, of course) advocating for the destruction of Labubus because they're demonic and empower the Babylonian demon Pazuzu.
Labubuissatan.com is a website that exists.
This world is cooked, I'm done.
There's a thunderstorm outside, my instant tea is fresh and my classical music playlist is prepared.
Time to write.
Sushi at 1am is true tranquility.
I have discovered that making fun of dumbass fascist teenagers on TikTok is oddly therapeutic and entertaining.
Played Beatstar (Piano Tiles but better) and got a fucking Maroon 5 song from a rock music crate.
I feel scammed.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Wrote a haiku
I ordered some stuff
Amazon says it's delayed
Woe upon ye, Jeff
Warum haben alle Faschos auf TikTok angefangen richtig leckeren Hardtekk als Sounds zu benutzen?
Ihr versaut die ganze gute Musik Mann.