adulthood is really like "guess what your sewer isn't working" and you're like oh why is that mister plumber and he's like "oh that's because they used to use paper for pipes" and you're like hmm i don't know a lot about it but that doesn't seem right, but it is right, they did use paper for pipes, and you're like how much is it to fix paper pipes mister plumber? and he's like "oh just $10,000 and one day and we'll dig three holes" and you're like okay mister plumber i guess what must be done must be done but then it will be a week later and there will be five holes and they will be telling you "oh actually we need to dig an additional hole in your driveway" and you're like oh but that's where my driveway is and they're like "oh yes we'll need to cut through the driveway" and you're like okay this doesn't seem right mister plumber and they're like actually it's mister gas company and mister gas company is standing there and he's like yep you gotta cut the driveway out because the pipe is six inches from the other pipe and you're like i don't think so i think that's like 8 inches and he's like nope it's six and you're like how many inches is the minimum distance and he's like six and you're like okay and it's been five days it's been five days and you don't have a driveway and you don't have toilets and you're paying $15000 because someone said "yes i think making sewer pipes out of paper sounds good" and then you'll be driving down the road to get yourself depression ice cream because you don't have a driveway and you don't have toilets and the car in front of you will be driven by a man 300 years old in the smallest honda the 80s ever produced going approximately .0001 miles per hour and the F150 pavement princess behind you will not see the small honda and will start honking at you and cursing at you and you will simply roll to a stop. you will roll to a stop in the middle of the street and watch the little honda in front of you roll on to glory at .0001 miles an hour while the truck behind you realizes they have made some sort of defcon 1 level mistake and your fitbit on your arm starts buzzing going "CONGRATS! THIS IS YOUR MOST EXTREME WORK OUT YET! YOU'RE EARNING DOUBLE ZONE MINUTES!"
