Greetings from the Underworld from your friendly neighborhood psychopomp! Be not afraid, I'm not going to take your soul. Yet, anyway...
Chthonic being trapped in a 30 year old transfemme body. She/Her. HelPol. Works with Persephone, Hades, and Hekate. Recently started working with Santa Muerte as well.
Mostly here for gay shit, the Gods, fandom spam, and the good kind of trouble. NSFW š
Stay a while, won't you? š§”
"Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative" - T.J. Fixman
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Alecto was angry, and raised her up, and kissed her. The child did not cry out, though blood fell from her lips and tongue, and she was wounded sore. For Alecto knew not how to kiss, except such as it involved the mouth and teeth.
And Alecto said to her, Why are you not appeased? That is how meat loves meat.
Harrow would never call her parents abusive or evil. She understands the choices they made and certainly couldnāt think of anything better.
Yet when she imagines her parents alive she imagines her father stripping her naked and whipping her half to death. She broke open the tomb at ten because she was suicidal and also thought about opening the oxygen vaults. She responds so so badly to John when he tries to be a parental figure to her.
sheās stuck in this intense level of double think where sheās so devoted to her family and society, yet somewhere deep down knows how horrible her world and system is. Since infancy itās been drilled into her that she owes them. Owes them greatness. Owes them renewal. She has no identity outside of the ninth.
They talked about burying her in 200 graves, One for every child the sacrificed but not a grave for the actual living breathing child in front of them.
What if you thought fucking in a public bathroom with your enemy was a good idea? What if you had some complicated feelings after and slipped into a terrible, awful, no good memory? What if you thought about Monarch butterflies a lot?
With that said, the third chapter of Either I Die or I Live Forever is live now!
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itās ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like,Ā āiām gonna go for a bike ride.ā and i was likeĀ āwhy. no. why. donāt put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. donāt do it.ā so he says he doesnāt want toĀ āhide in the houseā because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. āthe sun is shiningā does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning
this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now itās ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a āborrowerā that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devilās preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun
ninety nine???? thats IT????????? buddy here in the 7th circle of h*ck, California, we get up to at LEAST 110 degrees every single gosh darned summer.Ā the bugs seek revenge.Ā the sun wreaks havoc on the mere mortals it surveys.Ā Ā every plant has turned brown in its thirst for water.Ā the very air itself has been sucked dry of every drip of moisture it ever had.Ā Ā
well since you asked so politely, letās talk about something very important vis a vis weather-hotness that you clearly aināt ever heard of, called
humidity
oh alas, you say. oh papa, whatever shall i do, it is ever so hotte and drye in california. the very air hath been sucked of all its moisturey droplets and whatnot.* one hundredy and tennith desiccated degrees!
*(yo, drought is serious. i am pretty obviously not making fun of that.)
alright. letās check it out. hereās a random california city, right about now:
thirty-two percent. and hereās a random mid-atlantic city located somewhere in the wet fleshy crease behind a demonās knee*:
*(confession: i do not live in dc, but several years ago i spent three weeks steaming like a tinned ham in arlington in august. none of the pants i took with me could ever keep a crease again.)
huh! funny thing! āsee, dcās actually seven degrees COOLER,ā you say, because youāve obviously never gone outside and taken a deep lungful of wet sock trash air in your life. and now for added bliss, hereās what early wednesday morningās gonna be like for these poor clowns:
thatās right! eighty-two percent humidity! the point at which showers no longer matter, because youāre all caught in Godās grease trap! just stressed human eels miserably slip slidinā their way through a damp melty bathwater-flavored hellscape that feels like itās actively sous viding their top layer of skin! a hundred thousand people packed into public transit breathing air that feels like deepthroating swamp thing! and you wanna talk to me about fuckin california!
[cue science voice]: human bodies cool through evaporation, a process by which the body sweats and sweet invisible angels towel us off, whisking away our unwanted moisture into the air and literally chilling us out. (itās also why air conditioned air feels so fucking deliciously refreshing: itās not just being cooled, itās being conditioned, aka, dehumidified. itās cool dry air.) but. if the air is already made out of fucking chowder and canāt absorb shit then guess what the fuck our bodies canāt do.
so is this weak fool gonna remain indoors and hydrated through this only medium-hot but fuckoff-humid season? you bet your dried out ass.
As someone who lives in a high desert and has had a few Ohioan summers inflicted on me-
I will GLADLY take 105 and the 5% or less humidity I had in Durango, wherein the outer layer of my entire epidermis dried and split like the scorched earth out in the parking lot, leaving me looking like Iād been assaulted by an SFX artist high on 5 hour energy-blasted Monster whilst napping but it was REEEEEEAAL and every movement caused me to split like a tectonic plate and Ooze some unmentionable substance, than EVER be subjected to humidity over 80% again.
I laughed so hard it triggered an asthma attack. No joke.
Let me tell you. I grew up in a swamp straddling the Virginia/North Carolina border. Iāve lived in Oklahoma, Florida, DC, and now Shenandoah.
My ex, from Wyoming, with whom I lived in Oklahoma, once complained to me about the humidity, in an Oklahoma desert. I stopped what I was doing, looked at her like she just said she faked the moon landing, and asked her āWhat humidity?ā
Then I went and laid on a big ass rock and sunbathed like the lizard I am, in comfortable 103 degree weather. I owned a farm. I built a chicken coop and tended crops by hand in that weather. It was lovely.
Iāve walked outside in Florida and DC, been slapped in the face with air that felt like the contents of a drier vent halfway through a cycle, and turned right the fuck back around to lay down in front of a fan.
I have not just experienced but lived for extended periods in both desert heat and swamp heat. If you havenāt experienced 80 degrees Fahrenheit and 85% humidity, you donāt understand unbearable heat. I have lived in a place where you can fry an egg on the hood of a car, and Iād take that over living in Americaās armpit.
I should also note that I once did a twelve mile hike in Wakulla Springs Florida, in the low 90s and somewhere around 80% humidity. There is no better way to get familiar with weather conditions than hiking. It felt like breathing gravy. I had fun, but I wouldnāt do it again. Do not recommend. Basically I did what OPās husband wanted to do, but dialed up to 11, and I can confirm it was in fact insanely stupid. I also had to race a hurricane home. It made landfall in that area a few hours after I left. Do as I say, not as I do.
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The Ninth Saint to Serve the King Undying and her cavalier Ǭ̸̬̳ĢĢĢ̼̳ĶĢĶĢį¹Ģ¶Ģ ̰Ģ̤̯̹ĶĢ«ĢĢĢĢt̸̢̧̢̔ĢĢĢĢĶĢĢŖĶĢ ĶĢĢĢĢĢĢĢæĶĆŗĢ“Ķ̳ĶĢĢĶ sĢøĢŗĢĢĶĢĢĶĢĢ¾Ķ Ģ¶ĢĢ ĶĶĢŠĢ“Ģ¼Ķ̱ĶĢĢ̳̪ĢĢĢĢĢĶĢŠøĢ¶Ģ§ĢĢĢĶŠ³Ģ¶Ķ̲̼ĶĢ̳ĢĢĶĢĶĶĶĶŠµĢ“ĶĶĢ²ĢŠ½ĢøĢ”Ģ¢ĢĢ Ķ̼̻ĶĢ ĢĶĶ̾ĢĶĢĶĶŠ°Ģ“Ģ ĢŖĶĢĢĢĢĢĢ ĢĢĶ Š“ĢµĢ̬ĶĢ Ģ«ĶĶĢ̹Ģ̾Ķ
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premise: he is your beginning, the whole reason you have made peace with the darkness inside your head, and you know someday he may become your end. whether by his saber or by him finally consuming completely. you welcome both.
contents: established master x acolyte dynamics, shared force bond, unprotected p in v, foreplay, light choking, biting, scars and burn marks mentioned, death, teasing, over stimulation | wc: 2.7k+
note: i love that we all saw the water scene and went yeah that's for the smut writers. glad we are collectively going insane over this man.
The moons paint the water in a shimmering light that bathes its surface in sapphire that fades to the deepest of blacks the longer you stare into it. The waves that hit against the ragged stones are like a siren call to your aching body.Ā
Your muscles are still tight and coiled from earlier. Your molars grind together when you lift your arms to pull off your ruined and stained clothes. A burning sensation felt through your body as the fabric covering your torso moved against every burn, cut, and bruise you had acquired tonight.Ā
You didnāt stop by a reflective surface to check how many battle scars youād earned. Badges of honor. More wounds worn like metals placed on your neck by a pleased master. Wounds, heāll help you heal, stitch up, seal with the press of his palm to the tattered skināstolen supplies from planets you canāt remember the name of with faces you can only remember the dead eyes of, used on the ones that donāt close up right.
The moonlight makes them look less serious. The illumination colored the dried blood and tissue into something misty. Almost tantalizing to the eye. Unlike the light of day, where youāre sure it will look less glamorizing. The ugly truth of the way your skin is going to bubble up and mold over to protect itself once the healing process begins is less glaring in this hue.Ā
Your toe dips into the water. Itās always warmer than you think it to be. Always welcoming you in like itās been waiting for you to return. Waiting to wash away the grim and blood that seemed more permanent on your skin than your own flesh.Ā
You wade at the edge for a bit, pushing around the water with your feet. The water wading at your ankles.Ā
The ringing hasnāt stopped.Ā
It rarely does until youāve closed your eyes and settled it. Until your body is less taut, muscles released from the on switch of fight. The power inside your veins thrumming like a wasp trying to free itself from the tissue of your bones.Ā
As if it had gotten stuck in there and couldnāt find its way out. Refusing to settle down or leave until youāve maimed, avenged, and proved yourselfāleaving your body and muscles in their current state.Ā
Youāre not worried about something being in the water. If there were, you would have been able to feel it. Sense itās beating heart and the danger of allowing it to keep beating. Youāre alone as you walk further into the water, sinking into itās depths until your body is completely engulfed. Your neck and head the only things going untouched.Ā
The freshly made badges on your skin burn when you scrub your thumb along the edges of them. Specks of dried blood float along the surface of the water before theyāre lost to the darkness below.Ā
Amongst the ringing in your head, you can hear the screams of anger that tore from your lungs when the Jedi had gotten the upper hand. The green of his saber leaving red against your skin. Making your moves turn from confident to something rage fueled.Ā
Somewhere among the ringing, you know his scream is in there. Amongst the many cries for help and cracking bones.Ā
They always linger. Always hold on like a power pack to your dark side.Ā
You know your body wonāt fully relax until youāve stopped the ringing, though. You didnāt believe in blessings or curses. Bad fortune or good. Everyoneās life ended the same way. If you did believe in the farce, you would think the ringing that goes from the base of your skull to the drums of your ears was a curse.Ā
A quiet mind is a blessing.Ā
The buzz of the force within you too heady when you're in the throes of battle. War. Darkness. Itās always been like that. Even before him.Ā
Itās only gotten worse with him beside you. Like the bond the two of you had opened too much too deep and you feel everything more clearly. More unfortunately.Ā
He taught you how to silence it. To reign it in after the adrenaline and pace of your heart slowed.Ā
There were still things you had to learn. Things you were kept from knowing by your old master, the one who only saw one way to wield your power. A cowardly excuse for a master whose burial you wish you could have witnessed.Ā
Itās aggravating, almost. Anger inducing for sure.Ā
Someone not believing you are capable of knowing the truth about the power you wield. Itās criminal to not allow someone to be their true self all because of a set of rules that only benefited one group of people. One way of living, when there were so many.Ā
Your aggravation has faded by now. The anger is still there and buzzes through you. But you no longer feel like a part of you has been held back. Stunted and aching like your chest had for yearsāas if a rock had found itself in the base of your heart and took up rent thereāuntil Qimir showed you the way.Ā
Your true self.Ā
Your full potential and all you were capable of.Ā
All that had been inside of you, held back for so long.Ā
Filling your lungs with air, you sink yourself under the water and hold yourself there. Eyes closing as you center yourself. Slow the wasp in your marrow to something dull. Stop the ringing in your ears until all you can hear is the hum of the water hitting the rock above the surface.Ā
Just you and the force.Ā
Just you and the water.Ā
Until you feel him.Ā
Until heās there inside your mind.
Until you feel a hand at the base of your skull, fingertips brushing at the nape of your neck to let you know heās not just in your head. Heās beside you.
Your eyes meet once youāve filled your lungs with air again, and you wipe the water droplets from your lids.Ā
You watch him splash water against his neck, running the palm of his hand along the dirt and grime that clings to his skin. Cleaning himself of any traces of the deaths the two of you have left in your wake tonight.Ā
His calm demeanor always pulls you back from the edge. Always brings a calmness to your blood. To the beating of your heart. Even when shit has gone haywire, his demeanor never switches up. Never slips into something that could be labeled as sloppy or driven by anything other than who he truly is. What heās made of.Ā
His calm seeping through your shared bond until you have no choice but to relax.
The handful of times youāve seen that calmness turn into something animalistic, itās made you envious, on the same hand, itās made the space between your thighs burn.Ā
āYou did well tonight.āĀ
āThe smell of my burning flesh still clinging to my senses says differently.āĀ
The corner of his mouth lifts in amusement, āyou did well.ā He repeats. Ducks his head forward to wet his hair. His fingers running through the strands, droplets falling down his face. Your eyes follow them all the way down the column of his neck to his chiseled collar bones.Ā
It doesnāt take one wielding the force to know what your mind is projecting. Doesnāt matter that the two of you share a part of your brain. The thoughts of past nights spent together, Qimir teaching you the ways desire can be wielded and used to your advantageāor disadvantage, depending on how you look at it.Ā
Your face turns from him. Eyes moving up to the moon.Ā
Trying to hold back your thoughts the way he taught you. Even if it is futile against him.
āHow do you feel?āĀ
Has the ringing stopped, Is what heās really asking. Do you need another lesson? Are you still weakened by that ailment? That curse?Ā
Except he wouldnāt be as dramatic as that. Not with this. Not ever. Especially when it came to your power. Your capabilities. The perfect little acolyte heās trained you to be.Ā
āFine.ā Your answer clipped, honest. Because you are fine, and your stubbornness will not allow you to let this turn into another lesson about you not being able to be as calm and collected as he is. No shadows of doubt lingering over who he truly is. His purpose. His wants. His desires. His darkness.Ā
Heās always been able to read right through you, though. Even without taking up space in your being. The force has little to do with that fact.Ā
You were never afraid of the darkness that lived inside of you. Never afraid of the power you could wield and the lives you could take.Ā
The only time youāve felt true fear is being seen.Ā
Accepted.Ā
The potential to let someone of importance down and not withhold your end of a deal youāve inked your name in blood just to be beside. To prove yourself to someone whoās your equal. Another half of your very being.
His face shows nothing but that calm amusement when he wades behind you. His fingers moving against your skin in an act to rid you of the spots of dirt youāve missed on your neck and shoulders.Ā
Swallowing hard when his fingers scrape against past scars, he lingers there for a beat. Running the pad of them against the raised skin. A whisper in your head.Ā
You heal beautifully.
Itās a softness youād never thought him to be capable of when you found out who he truly was. The man behind the mask. Even if the unmasking had been done unintentionally.Ā
Itās not softness you feel from his touch, though. No, his touch eases the strain in your muscles, only to gather itself in your belly. Your body burning with anticipation, knowing how this goes.Ā
How youāre rewarded when you impress him.Ā
When you do as you are told, your master is ever the generous one.Ā
āYouāve proven yourself tonight.ā His lips brush against the tip of your spine, ākilling without a weapon, not stopping until you were the last one standing. Freeing yourself from the ones who held you back for so long.ā Your breath hitches in the back of your throat when his mouth presses down on that same spot at the beginning of your spine.Ā
A hand snaking around your throat, his palm wet and warm against your collarbones as he pulls your neck at just the right angle to have you looking at him.Ā
āDid it feel good?āĀ
āYes.ā You swallow, wrap your fingers around his wrist. āIt always does.ā You whisper, your eyes flashing down to the upturn of his lips.Ā
His nose runs along your cheek to your temple, his eyes closed, inhaling you. āI can always smell it. When you let yourself become one with the darkness. Right before you take a life.ā His thumb runs a circle against the vein, which tells him the pace of your heart has picked up. As if heād need it to know, as if the two of you donāt share something that links you completely to the other. āIt still lingers. Itās distracting.āĀ
Itās not a question, but you nod. Your eyes flutter when he pushes his hips forward, and the hardness of his cock moves against your ass.Ā
He doesnāt ask permission, the two of you knowing youāre past such kindnesses, when his hand cups your mound. He knows what your body needs right now. What it wants, what itās expecting. He can feel it too. His index and middle fingers spread your pussy, giving him access to that pleasure point on your body that only he knows how to stroke just right to have you pliant and singing for him.Ā
As if you were not already devoted to him. As if he were not your reason for being.
Heās your beginning, and you have no doubt he will be your end if it comes to it.Ā
The pad of his finger circles your clit in that slow way that lets you know heās going to take his time with you. Going to drain every last bit of strain and tightness from your muscles, pushing that buzz between your legs and making him the only sound in your headāuntil he thinks you have had enough.Ā
Until your reward is good enough for him to be satisfied with how you took it. Until he knows your mind is back where it needs to beāhere, with him.Ā
His mouth meets the hand at your throat, his teeth sinking into the parts his fingers arenāt pressing into. āYouāre everything I could have hoped for.ā His tongue laps against your pulse.
Perfect.
You may never know if he actually means the words; you can only feel what he allows you to feel through your shared connection. Heās better at blocking than you. But he knows you need to hear these praises. Knows how good and pliable it will make you. His words stoke the fire inside your soul that burns through your darkness. That allows you to become completely consumed by him and the desire to be on this side.Ā
Of being free.Ā
What he does allow you to feel lets you know there is some truth somewhere in there. You can feel it in how hard his cock thrusts against your ass when your body pushes back into him. You can feel it in the way his thoughts stream through your mind.Ā
So obedient.
Your cuntās so greedy for me.
Youāre mine.
The skin on your fingers stings from gripping the rocks in front of you. The pain you should feel from the heel of your palm digging into the jagged stones, lost in the haze of pleasure consuming your body.Ā
Qimir consuming every last part of your being.Ā
Taking over every dark corner of your mind and not letting you feel or hear anything but him.
Your moans become more shaky, your chest heaving as you pant and curse. The weight of the finger on your clit grows heavier, faster, deliriously good the more you near your orgasm.Ā
Your lips are moving in inaudible words. Words he understands, making him grin against your jaw.Ā
āYou want my cock tonight?ā You know heās read your mind, or rather, your body. Know he can feel what you desire and crave. What your minds begging him for. āHmm, do you think youāre deserving of that big of a prize? You spill a little blood, and suddenly youāre greedy.ā He hums, āyou did well. Do you think you deserve it, though? No?āĀ
Heat burns your cheeks; his chuckle makes you sob into the night air. The stubbornness to please and be as perfect as your counterpart wants you to be is not in favor of the mounting pressure thatās building in your pussy right now.Ā
āI already think youāre perfect; donāt push it.ā His foot pushes easily at your ankles. Your thighs spread enough for the head of his cock to press against your entrance and thrust inside.Ā
āMmm,ā you whine at the stretch. Your eyes fluttering closed at your swollen walls being filled. Walls that tighten around him as he sets a fast pace. Matching the rhythm and stroke of his fingers. Sending your body on an overwhelming precipice of a carnal need to come.Ā
The heaviness of his breath as he says your name against your skināthe quick flashes of the pleasure he feels from being inside of youāis what finally sends you over the edge.Ā
Your orgasm rocking through you like a storm. Your body shaking against him, walls fluttering and squeezing around his cock, making him groan. Your throat raw and scratchy from the noise thatās pulled up from your lungs when everything in your body is set completely aflame.Ā
Your hand falling from the rocks, and pressing your nails into his wrist, trying to pull his hand from between your thighs. The over-stimulation of his finger moving against your clit even after your orgasm has passed makes you cry out and ripple the water around the two of you as you squirm.Ā
The tip of his cock hits that spot inside you that makes your vision go white. That falters your fight against his torment.Ā
āYou can do better than one. You deserve it, donāt you?ā
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