Unrequested Silly Things

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again

The courage to slay a god.

okay but chess terminology is like. you pinned your opponent's hung knight and now you can mate? oh im sure

drake?

josh?

where’s the body of christ?

never played stardew valley so before looking at the tags I was willing to accept this was a real life political scandal

soundonsoundonsoundon!!!!!!!

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels