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I’ve seen middle aged comedians on national tv sincerely say “I love you” to their friends with no jokes attached. Nature is so slow to heal but it is possible, I tell you. We have planted trees and seen them survive.

Darcy’s introduction in Pride and Prejudice is really ‘what if you had just had the worst month of your life because your ex-bestie tried to lover boy scam your baby sister out of her share of your dad’s life insurance and your friend dragged you to a shitty party in a dive bar in the neighbourhood where he’d just signed a short term lease, and you decided to let your bad mood show because you were never going to see any of the assholes in this stupid shitty bar EVER again. And your friend ended up making out with a girl he’d just met there while you were stuck talking to her sister who was less cute and then her mother appeared and started trying to matchmake and started saying how if she was twenty years younger she’d clime you like a redwood and ooooh is that a black Amex, guess the next round is on you hahhahahahaha, while her other sister (how many fucking sisters does she have?!) flashed an obviously fake ID at the bar and ordered six vodka-diet red bulls and no one in her family except the less-cute sister even tried to stop her. And you went home and consoled yourself that you would never see any of these people again but then you met them over and over again because they live next door and your friend and the cute sister keep meeting up to make out but not actually date and then. You fall in love with the less-cute sister because it turns out she’s really witty and charismatic but she already knows and remembers and resents the fact that on a day when you were in a shitty mood you called her mid out loud in a dive bar.’

LOL this is so hilarious and true

if you're washed chopped and cooked then you might be vegetables

the first rule of cooking is that there are no rules. anything goes do whatever you want forever. the first rule of baking is that if you fuck it up you die

can’t risk it

THIS PIECE OF PICTURE WORKS. 

Gotta take all the chances…..

Never risk it

Too close to final’s week

I could use it.

i really need this job 🙏

a great tragedy of my life is i have soooo many questions i want to ask taylor swift about her artistic process, and despite there being a WHOLE FIELD OF PEOPLE who's job it is to Ask Taylor Swift About Her Artistic Process, they spent a decade asking her if boys ever don't talk to her because she might write a song about them

i hope every single one of you outlives these hateful fucks on the news right now. i hope each and every one of you is able to find joy and support throughout these tumultuous times and i hope you get to live so fiercely as yourself. i hope you wake up one day to news that you’ve outlived those pieces of absolute shit and whether that brings you joy or relief or hope or what have you, i hope you live to see that day

idk if it's just me but i'm glad that the majority of people outside of here believe tumblr is a dead site because like i've been here for 13 years and like this is my house??? i don't need thousands upon thousands of people flocking here it'd be like inviting chimps to a house party total fucking carnage

little miss awful body temperature regulation is taking his hoodie off again

little miss awful body temperature regulation has put his hoodie back on

no i am not immune to early 2000s pop-punk music that fucks a little harder than everyone likes to admit