The Adventures of a Mediocre and Lazy Cook

Tonight I was headed to my mom’s house for dinner and on my way there she called me and said, “How does grilled peaches with ice cream and caramel sauce sound?” And I said HELL YEAH that sounds freaking awesome, but can I make the caramel? I’ve never made this before, but I’ve heard that it’s pretty simple and it totally was. You have to watch it closely, but there is no chopping and there’s only a handful of ingredients. You basically dump everything in a saucepan and stir it for a while. The peaches and ice cream thing was out of control delicious, but that’s not something I would be able to make for myself bc I don’t have a grill. This sauce, however, could really kick any desert up to a whole new level of fanciness. If you’re having people over and you want to have something really yummy for desert but you don’t feel like actually making a desert, you could pour this over store bought brownies or cheesecake or anything and it would instantly be super impressive and delicious. This would also go amazing with bananas or apple slices if you feel like treating yourself to a sweet fancy snack. 

Ingredients:

1 cup of packed brown sugar (I used dark, but I don’t think it matters.) 1/2 cup of half and half 4 Tbs butter A pinch of salt 1 Tbs vanilla extract (I actually only used 2 tsp but it doesn’t matter)

Combine all the ingredients except the vanilla in a sauce pan. Cook over medium - low heat while gently whisking/stirring. Eventually it will thicken just a tiny bit, but it will still be quite runny. This took me about 15 minutes, but I didn’t heat the pan before I added my ingredients so if you do that it will take much less time. The key is to stir slowly but constantly. Once it gets bubbly and thickens slightly, add the vanilla and cook for another minute or two. Then turn off the heat and let it sit a while. It will still be very runny but once you take it off the heat it will thicken up very quickly. I tested it maybe 10 minutes after I took it off the heat and it was significantly more caramel-y. Mine sat for maybe 90 minutes, but I would suggest at least 30 minutes. Basically I made it before dinner and it sat while we ate and when we were done it was perfect.

The other day there was a post about easy sushi and it reminded me of something my partner and I do when we just do not have the spoons to make sushi rolls but are really craving the sushi flavor. We’re vegan so here’s the recipe for our version:

Sushi Rice or Your Preferred Rice/Whatever you have on hand

Nori (Seaweed Sheets) - we usually just grab them at Winco here on the west coast

Avocado

Cucumber

Carrots

Sesame Seeds

Unagi Sauce (we use this recipe)

Pickled Ginger

Cook your rice Chop your veggies (or any other ingredients you want to use) Once the rice is cooked, put it in a bowl, place veggies or other ingredients on top, sprinkle with sesame seeds, tear up some nori, top with unagi sauce, and use the pickled ginger as you’d like to (I love to chop it up and mix it into the rice.)

If you know me, you know that I love not only wine in it of itself, but cooking with wine (or most alcohol really). I love setting the hella fortified wines up in flames, I love adding wine to my sauces or deglazing meat fond with them. I just. really,.madmlove wine okAY?@! So it’ll come to you as no surprise when I say that my favorite recipe of all time is, without a doubt, Coq au Vin. It’s literally a chicken that’s fried in pig fat, and then simmer in a bottle’s worth of wine until it’s fall off the bone tender. 

And, because I love you all, I will teach you this magical recipe, and if you love me, you’ll make this stuff, because it’s just so good for your soul tbh.

~

Coq au Vin (serves: 4, or one if you don’t want anyone else to share this beauty w/ u)

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Ingredients-

1 whole chicken, cut into ten pieces*

6 oz lardons (cut from applewood slab bacon)

2 fl oz brandy

1 oz

48 fl oz wine*

16-20 fl oz chicken stock

4 cloves garlic

2 bay leaves

5 sprigs thyme

6 oz beurre manie*

3 oz cremini mushrooms, thinly sliced

*The pieces should be 2 legs, 2 thighs, 2 wings, and 2 breasts that are both cut in half

*DON’T USE EXPENSIVE WINE. Go for some 9 dollar bottle and you’ll still get great results. I recommend using a cheap cabernet like Joshua or Nicholas

*Beurre Manie is basically butter and flour that’s mixed together till it’s kind of similar to sticky cookie dough. This works as a thickening agent for the stewing liquid so we get a nice sauce for our chicken.

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Procedure-

Marinate your chicken in 24 fl oz of the wine, 2 thyme sprigs and 1 bay leaf overnight. Dry a few minutes before browning on the pan. 

Take your slab bacon and cut about 6 oz worth of lardon cubes. Place it in a large sausier pan or rondeau and let the fat render for about 6 minutes, then set aside.

Season the chicken pieces with salt and pepper and brown in the same pan using the lardon fat. Cook for a few minutes till all pieces are browned a bit, then add the lardons back in and cook in low heat for about 10 minutes.

Deglaze and flambe the chicken with the brandy, then cover the pieces in the tomato paste. Add the garlic, herbs, wine and stock to the pan and simmer. Once it’s simmering, cover partially with the lid and let it simmer for over an hour, or until the thighs are almost fall off the bone tender.

4 minutes prior to the chicken being done, add the mushrooms and continute simmering.

Remove the chicken, lardons and mushrooms and reserve. Strain the stewing liquid till all solids are removed and place into a large/medium sized sauce pot. mix in the beurre manie until the sauce it thick enough to coat the back of the spoon, or is a bit thicker than heavy cream. Season with salt and pepper. 

Place chicken in a casserole pan and cover with sauce and then top with minced parsley. Serve with angel hair pasta and a crusty french bread. 

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tbh real talk this recipe is so fancy that if you serve it to the person u like u’ll get laid literally that night no joke maybe even within the hour

like how do u think aph France gets so many babes it’s probs because he makes them this masterpiece like every night foreal

If you can spare a couple of hours for a good marinade, you can take your grilled shrimp from great to phenomenal! We’ll show you how.

See how to make Grilled Marinated Shrimp: http://bit.ly/1ohwQ7Y