Stressed, Depressed, and dressed for death.

When I hear "tumblr sexyman," I think of Cecil Night Vale being constantly depicted as a skinny white man instead of literally anything else. I think of the background character white men who get elevated over protagonists that are women, people of color, or otherwise not the white man power fantasy.

you’re currently throwing a party. half drunk, one eye open, you’re googling how to make spaghetti bolognese with only two cans of tomatoes and leftover meat. when you type into the chrome bar how do i, the google search how do i get over a - comes up, and you have to put the phone down.

“i’m out of like, meat,” you say. “or like, anything.” (where did it go? did you throw it out? things happen like this, slippery).

tyler is slowdancing with himself, one hand on his face. “this is the best fucking party i’ve ever been to.”

it’s usually the best party anyone has ever been to. your mom thinks you could start a club, because she believes in you too much. “i want spaghetti bolognese.” you have to yell-talk; it’s too loud here. someone is chanting in another room. god, they better behave in there. someone else’s perfect night made your floor reek for like a week last time.

you pause and pull your stupid moleskine you spent too much money on (threw the money away on, ha!) out of your back pocket where you pretentiously keep it with its little bic pen. you write: data point request… can you throw a demon out of a body?

demons would have to be real first. so that’s stupid.

“i love your shirt,” tyler says.

don’t say it you stupid fuck. “thanks,” you smile with that same practiced grin. don’t say it don’t say it don’t - “i just threw it on.”

you have told exactly 1 person about this thing, and she’s… well, whatever. you’re throwing a party. that’s what this is, right? this is you throwing a good time. you’re having a good time. everyone keeps saying what a good time this is.

data point request: throw the thought away.

not helpful. last week’s datapoint (throwaway joke?) has been a success, though, so you can put a sticker next to that one when you remember. and yes, it only works in english. which is maybe a blessing, because you have a C- in spanish and you’re barely holding it together as it is. (top of page three, datapoint request: why the fuck only english? hello?)

you walk through the apartment, hold your hands up when they invite you to beer pong haha, no thanks, but it’s genuinely not fun when you can-only-win. people stop being cool about it during the third round - you just start looking like an asshole.

not that she ever saw you that way. fuck. for real, throw the whole thought out.

you go to throw your coat on. as-per-usual, people around you stop moving while you do this easy thing. you haven’t recorded a video of yourself doing this particular one, but like-everything-else, it always leaves people a little dazzled. just watching like they know they shouldn’t be too impressed with it, it’s just a coat.

you type into your phone again: how to mak-

the history from google: how to make her love you again.

I wish this necklace was the real deal.

wh

…

"This can be very harmful for neurodivergent people, as many neurodivergent people struggle to feel internal cues and bodily sensations, including hunger and fullness. An emphasis on “only eating when hungry” can result in neurodivergent people delaying eating until they are so hungry that they are shaky, highly irritable, or even on the verge of passing out. A focus on “stopping when full” may cause neurodivergent people to overthink every bite they take and scrutinize whether they are truly hungry or truly full.  To modify Intuitive Eating for neurodivergent people, it may be important to focus on eating enough and eating consistently throughout the day, rather than eating according to one’s hunger and fullness cues. Neurodivergent people may need more of a structured meal and snack schedule than neurotypical folks in recovery, as well as some guidelines around a minimum amount of food. This does not make their eating less intuitive or their recovery less real - it is an important way of honouring their body’s needs and unique ways of functioning."