🔜

AITA? (unassuming doormat of a woman proceeds to describe the plot of a horror movie)

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety? 

“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.” 

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

This post is a blessing

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Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites

Oh my god they were phishing

Absolutely nothing can beat that last addition what the fuck

the duplicitous and scheming radical left tricked me into eating too much rice and now my tummy hurts

Tell me why i read it as “i save dick by giving it cpr”

"go to hell" is basic. "i hope your favourite AO3 work gets deleted." is smart. its possible. its terrifying.

smth abt repetition and love…makes me go bonkers.