Hello Again

halo lore is so fucking funny to me. all it really needed to be was 'youre john halo and youre a badass space marine that doesnt afraid of anything' but instead youre a war orphan created by the space CIA to be a robo-pinkerton to put down galactic worker revolts, but luckily whole hordes of you were created right in time for the most evil alien empire to ever exist to make first contact with us by nuking a planet to glass

also, the evil alien empire isnt doing this because theyre evil, their trio of space popes asked an ancient sacred AI what the fuck humans were and the ai was like 'oh those are ants that god loves more than you' and the popes immediately decided the only way to keep their cushy jobs and big dumb hats was to annihilate the human race. it almost worked, too! luckily, one of the robo-pinkertons is so freakishly lucky an AI noticed the statistical anomalies surrounding him and took him in as her favorite little meow meow and now they have a toxic co-dependent relationship and are going to nuke alien new york

the TSA's dick detector is the epitome of security theater. how many times have you ACTUALLY caught a woman trying to smuggle a small bomb in her panties

i mean average sized bomb

you have to be in a certain specific mood to listen to classic rock because sometimes a guy is playing his guitar and you're just like shut the fuck up man

is it okay to be and beautiful

i miss everyone

i can’t wait to see haaland and bellingham stop the game and start making out today

dude’s fucking TORN about whether or not to buy a beret

people aren't even exaggerating indeed is literally like that. walmart attendant $13 an hour, target attendant $13 an hour, AI dick sucker $40 an hour, home depot attendant $13 an hour, guy who designs bullets that can only kill children $160k a year plus benefits, gas station manager $18 an hour