my transmogrified ass:

just remember, tense your shoulders, grit your teeth, take rapid shallow breaths and say to yourself ”oh shit, oh fuck, this is all my fault”

people throw in "not trying to be rude" at the end of the rudest thing you've ever heard as if they're trying to go "no homo" after sucking the balls too

isn't it fucked up that milfic means military fiction and not "possessing the traits of a milf"

sharing a full screenshot uncropped is kind of like bending over in a little skirt and pulling it up a little

“what time do you get off?” well that’s not really any of your business now is it

my cursed sword doesn't even tell me to kill people anymore it keeps begging me to put on a skirt and tights

you can win pretty much any conflict as a ghost by pushing your hand into their chest and seizing their heart in your cold dead grip

if they moan like a girl that's the sign of victory and you need to keep going

i bet the pain will end if i arrange a perfect enough sentence about it